Funeral Service for Crystal Drops

[RIPcrystalboxes 145]

We are all gathered here today to grieve the loss of a good friend, Crystal Boxes. We all remember you, and always will. You were an essential part of the world. You were the best friend of all new players. We remember when you were young and looked like this:

 

 

We also remember your middle age, when you looked like this:

 

 

 

And we remember your last few months, when you looked like this:

 

 

 

You were born young and small, only worth one crystal. You were like this for years, in the golden days before the first rebalance. Back then you could buy M3 Twins the same rank you could buy M0 Freeze. Then one day you grew ten times bigger, so that you were now worth ten crystals. But the Russians couldn't stand this, and increased the price of everything by ten.

Then, over time, you changed appearance several times. At the very end of your life, you grew to be worth Twenty five, fifty, and even one hundred crystals. 

Perhaps you went to far at the end. This defiance was too much. The Russians came. They kidnapped you for a week, and cruelly murdered you in their Russian prison. The Russians, also known as the developers, showed no remorse. You were kidnapped and never seen again. 

 

You gleaming blueness has always inspired me with awe. We all remember the rush of capturing a hard earned crystal. Think of the newbies. They will never see you. They will only here vague rumors of the fact that once crystals literally fell from the sky. Think of how dull and blank their life will be! The empty battles, full of bloodshed and killing, are utterly devoid of crystals. Even the drugs blandly fall, seeming sad about the disappearance of their friend.

 

Your passing marked an all time low in the tankiworld. A few days after your death, the devs turned on the so called night battles. But we all know that they only introduced night battles as a scheme save power. It takes a ton of electricity to light so many maps at once. The step of 'adding night battles' (cutting the power) only revealed their motive behind the murder of crystals. It was to save money. It was getting simply to expensive to drop hundreds of crystals every battle. So they brutally kidnapped and murdered crystal drops. Now the maps are dark and empty, with tanks whimsically murdering each other. It is a land of misery, gloom, and malevolence without you, crystal boxes. 

 

You were our hero. You were perhaps the only one striving to make tanki online better, the only one arguing with the developers. You were the only true warrior.

You see, crystals were the only thing keeping the world running. When they left, everything spiraled out of control. The night battles. The gold boxes, which now drop only twenty seconds after warning. Shafts now have laser eyes, because they went blind with the sadness of a world without crystal drops. The competition and sport of crystal catching is now gone, leaving tankers angry and violent. It is now a crazy sickening world of pointless destruction. 

 

Tears are now rolling down my face, forming a puddle underneath me... I can hardly right this. But I do it for a greater good... to tell the public of the true facts behind the passing of crystal boxes. But it is so so hard to recant the details... almost as hard as Semyon's whip on my back. You see, I was captured by the Russians and brought to the torture chamber of the same Russian prison as the crystals. But I learned the secrets, and I am determined to tell you. 

 

The devs will probably make up excuses. They will say:

"Crystals don't drop anymore because the pterodactyl that dropped them went half blind, so they had to put symbols on the ground to point out where the pterodactyl should drop the crystals. But then the old pterodactyl died, so he couldn't drop them anymore. Then they will say that Godmode_ON shot out the sun, so that there are night battles. (he does have Semyon's family hostage)."        But all of this is lies. Everything I have told you is the truth.

 

If you liked the  crystal boxes, tell the new players. Keep your screenshots with crystal boxes in them. Fight back against the Devs, and Remember the crystals!

 

If you want crystals drops back in the game in some form, give this an up vote.

Edited December 17, 2014 by RIPcrystalboxes

[shadewarttt 3,350]

Idk 'bout you but I prefer it this way.

[Klankill804 753]

[shadewarttt 3,350]

 

Did you read that text wall? Summarize it please. 

[ThouShallNot 963]

R.I.P :(

[Shaloo7 1,216]

RIP :/

Accidentally upvoted D:

Edited December 12, 2014 by Shaloo7

[ArcticCow 454]

whose alternate are you i am curious.

[shayanshiny 1,925]

We want crystals Box back :(

[Truthteller 4,204]

Lol nice story want crys back though

[r_Firingsniper0 1,215]

source of mults.

[magnaboy2 656]

U got to be a reporter

[MA3CTPO_HA_XAHTEP 832]

too short article for me ok :DD

[AngeIs.And.Demons 1,988]

RIP

[Playep 355]

Rest In Peace. I want the 1 Crystal Box back with newer graphics...

[beaku 2,656]

Yes....this makes me nostalgic....although I am not a very old player I have been here since 2013. I have seen the home page change, the tutorial change, small rebalances, farewell of moon silence and much more.

Crystal boxes were my first source of excitement during my initial days in Tanki. I was totally oblivious to it's older golden brother. I used to divert my way from capturing a flag just to take a crystal box.

At a later stage even though I did not pay attention to it, yet without being aware I collected a large amount of crystal boxes. Their removal caused me much pain but I know it was necessary to discourage mults.

However I shall ever regard crystal boxes as my best friends.

[ALEKSEJ0077 150]

whose alternate are you i am curious.

It is for sure

[RIPcrystalboxes 145]

For those asking for who's alt I am, 

I am EVERYONE!!!

Edited December 20, 2014 by RIPcrystalboxes

[canadarules 1,938]

:huh: :mellow:

[ToBaPuLIL-uHcTpyKToP 136]

i hope that the developers will glance on your post and say, "oh no! how did we get this far!" and apologize about what they have done and open their eyes.

 

 

But you were wrong about the bad, bad Russians cuz look at my name...

 

With everything else you have said, i agree and when you said that you are crying, my eyes watered from thinking what has tanki done, first they removed moon silence, then they... im too sad to say it right now.

Edited December 13, 2014 by ToBaPuLIL-uHcTpyKToP

[Promissory 569]

It is for sure

I am not Xx_Like-a-boss_xX. I don't even know who he is.

I am not a reporter, although I would like to be one.

I am Snakey123

lol Calm down, I want mine to be a decent rank xD

[ToBaPuLIL-uHcTpyKToP 136]

So true...

Edited December 30, 2014 by ToBaPuLIL-uHcTpyKToP

[Flappy1233 66]

R.I.P Crystal Boxes  :(

[K.K6 2]

R.I.P CRYSTALS! COME BACK WE NEED YOU!

[ToBaPuLIL-uHcTpyKToP 136]

R.I.P Crystal Boxes  :(

i would up-vote everyone that is with this topic, but i ran out of them...

[Flappy1233 66]

i hope that the developers will glance on your post and say, "oh no! how did we get this far!" and apologize about what they have done and open their eyes.

 

 

But you were wrong about the bad, bad Russians cuz look at my name...

 

With everything else you have said, i agree and when you said that you are crying, my eyes watered from thinking what has tanki done, first they removed moon silence, then they... im too sad to say it right now.

Yes I agree. But they took away Moon Silence because of the flying hack, I was never in TO in that time but I'd LOVE to try it out