Mystery of Crystals

[RIPcrystalboxes 145]

Greetings,

this is the amazingly confusing, bewildering, enigmatic, nonsensical and ingenious RIPcrystalboxes. 

I am going to tell how I discovered the secrets of the crystals.

One day, I was driving around polygon, randomly blowing up tanks who got in my way and catching crystals. Then, a warning went off, proclaiming that the goldbox would be dropped soon. I was driving around in my M0 Wasp/ M0 Ricochet, and I saw the gold dropping far off. I turned on speed boost, and hurried over to it. Unfortunately I went airborn on a ramp at the same time as a railgun hit me, and I went spinning into the sky, and landed (gasp) outside polygon, on a rolling green hill. But, as I slowly turned my turret around, I realized I was in a field of gold boxes.

More than half of polygon is grass outside the main map. Suspicious, eh?

 

 

So, I gleefully caught every last one of them. It was over 150 thousand in crystals. But then, a hole opened up in the ground. A deadly looking heavy tank driving a mammoth/thunder and wearing a paint I had never seen before popped out. 

He was an easy kill.

I began my circle of death, pounding him over and over again with my dreaded rico. After a couple minutes of this, he finally blew up. But then, a second later, a the words; FATAL ERROR  popped onto my screen. So, I logged back into the game. But, to my surprise, I found myself still in the same polygon. No other players were in the map. The entire map was spotlessly clean. I examined everywhere, and the only thing I found was a hazmat suit lying in the corner of the map. But then, I found a tunnel. Naturally, I drove into it.

What I found horrified me more than you can comprehend.

Electrical wires hummed all across the tunnels. Flickering fluorescent lights were all I could see. But then, I came across a huge factory, manufacturing all kinds of machinery. All different kinds of turrets and hulls, including two turrets I had never seen before, (One looked like a machine gun, or a giant gatling gun) were being built. Then I found a whiteboard on a wall.

Written on the whiteboard, were several cruel sentences.

They read:

 

How to make people give us money?

1. Brainwash them. 2. Make it so that they have to buy the Pro battle pass to go into any good battle. 3. Remove crystal drops, so no one makes any money and are forced to buy them. 4. Introduce new turrets that are really expensive/ or bad, so that everyone buys them and has to buy more crystals.

How to save money?

1. Get rid of crystals, we won't have to manufacture anything else.

2. Create 'Night Battles' to save power. 

 

I almost fainted. Get rid of crystal boxes? What kind of a cruel joke was this! They might as well delete tanki online!. With steely resolve, I ventured farther into the factory. I found many other terrible things, too terrible to put into words. So now, I skip forward a few days. I finally got out of the factory and the tunnels. I found myself in a very strange place, called THE BRAZILIAN SERVER.

In this not very well known place, the evil russian developers have been doing cruel and unusual experiments on tankers, without telling the other servers. 

I found a strange two headed shaft, and a Mammoth fuzed to three hunters. It was gruesome. I quickly drove out of that south american place as quickly as I could. In a craze I scrambled through battles. I finally managed to make it to the EN1 server. Safety at last! 

But somehow, I found myself falling... falling.... and falling. Then, with a loud thud, I hit the roof of the Rio Skyscraper. I probably broke several treads in the fall. Then, a glowing green tractor beam slowly lifted me up, into some kind of space ship.

I woke up later, in a Russian prison, being interrogated by the Russians. 

I won't tell you the full story, but some of it can be found here:

http://en.tankiforum.com/index.php?showtopic=234970&hl=

 

[Latvian_troller 63]

sike creepypasta

10/10 made me laugh

Edited December 17, 2014 by Latvian_troller

[I3loodShot 3,119]

Great story :lol: :D

[Promissory 569]

You sir deserve a cookie!

[ArcticCow 454]

Were you day dreaming?

[shayanshiny 1,925]

Is that a dream ?

[X-x-A-x-X 144]

Now that's interesting.

[ALEKSEJ0077 150]

Now that's interesting.

[7919zola 252]

Darn good "story" you got here. I only wish that this story was fictitious.  :ph34r:

[trombone_ftw 734]

Reporter worthy

[Truthteller 4,204]

Again awesome story bro

[corpsecrusher2 53]

Two headed shafts  :lol:  :lol:

[Xxemo_dinoxX 934]

Interesting.

[lukey0 27,543]

:lol:

[MA3CTPO_HA_XAHTEP 832]

pretty good man   :lol:

[BlitzPanzer12345 241]

Devs must have got a heart attack reading thiz

:P

[RIPcrystalboxes 145]

Need any more proof?

[Xenophobia 457]

Need any more proof?

~pic

You mentioned M0 wasp and rico ok.

[jokersus.cava 1,503]

Ah, crystal boxes, I miss you so much

[jazz20 1,181]

ehh....

[RIPcrystalboxes 145]

BTW it was actually a wasp m3 and rico m3, screenshot proof as you can see. 

[XLG1 67]

Great story! :D

[CcC-T.i.q.R.i.S_TR 69]

I almost fainted. Get rid of crystal boxes? What kind of a cruel joke was this! They might as well delete tanki online!. With steely resolve, I ventured farther into the factory. I found many other terrible things, too terrible to put into words. So now, I skip forward a few days. I finally got out of the factory and the tunnels. I found myself in a very strange place, called THE BRAZILIAN SERVER.

In this not very well known place, the evil russian developers have been doing cruel and unusual experiments on tankers, without telling the other servers.

[NatchGa 665]

lol nice story. But none the less pointless and only distracting people from the truth. Crystal boxes were removed because people like you were obsessed with them and didn't contribute to the battle at all, instead, you went off and searched for your precious 10 crystals.

 

I hope you leave. Along with all your other useless complaining followers. 

 

Im sorry. But there has to be haters, and it looks like im one of them.

 

and believe me, im going to hate...

[fighter309 384]

How to not understand sarcasm