# 1 Joke columns

[Superlative 500]

# 1 Joke columns

 

 

The joke column comprises of the month's top 10 jokes. They are taken from other

internet sources. Entries from tankmen are accepted too.

 

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1) Q: How do astronomers organize a party? 

A: They planet.

 

 

2) Want to hear a Potassium joke? K.

 

 

 

3) Bob: "Holy cow, I just fell off a 50 ft ladder."

Jim: "Oh my God, are you okay?"

Bob: "Yeah it's a good thing I fell off the first step."  

 

 

4) Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? 

A: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

 

5) Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

 

6)  Roses are red. 

Your blood is too. 
You look like a monkey 
And belong in a zoo. 
Do not worry, 
I'll be there too. 
Not in the cage, 
But laughing at you.

 

 

7) Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

 

8) Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

 

9) 10 Facts About You: 

1. You're reading this now. 
2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact. 
4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3. 
5. You're checking now. 
6. You're smiling. 
7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid. 
9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8. 
10.You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again. 
11. You're enjoying this. 
12. You didn't realize I said 10facts not 12.

 

10) A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit-down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Ginger!" The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit, Ginger!" Once again, the woman smiled and thought, "Yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit, Ginger, get away from her before she ...... on you!

 

That's it for this month! Thank you! 

 

-: D bl1209