Other [Issue 36] Choose Your Adventure: On the Path of the 2K

Kevred · May 25, 2015

Rules and Tips:

-This article contains multiple gifs and pictures uploaded via Tinypic, which are essential to the storyline. As such, it is recommended that readers read this article on devices which support gifs and allow tinypic.com (e.g. school computers are a no-no)

-Do not open spoilers which you were not told to open. I AM SERIOUS ABOUT THIS ONE.

-Be honest (except when you previously died, and are re-trying, of course): this is probably the rule that is the least respected.

-Don't go crazy and open all the spoilers you see. Going crazy is bad for your health.

-Once you finish the aventure, refresh the page to try taking another path. Then, and only after, feel free to go crazy and open all the spoilers.

>>Start<<

"Ahh", you let out as you fling yourself into your favorite sofa. Wet hair, soaked clothes, at that moment you sure hated rain a lot. After a tedious half-hour of walking home from school under the heaven's anger, boy did it feel good, lying on the sofa, unmindful of the water dripping all over the leather. You'll have to clean it up later for sure (after you send your mom to the emergency when she faints), but for now, all you wanted was to rest. To rest and...some Tanki, why not. Smiling at the perspective of wrecking your friends once again, you seat yourself in front of the computer, ready for another session of mad drugging.

Do you know how to open a computer?

No: go to spoiler 1

Yes: go to spoiler 2

Spoiler 1

Wow. Just wow. Simply unbelievable. You literally just read a second ago that you have to be H-O-N-E-S-T. So now, refresh your page and get your butt back to the beginning before I decide to stop face-palming myself and direct my palm towards your face instead.

>>The End<<

Spoiler 2

Your finger flies over the keyboard as you log into your personalized account. You're immediately greeted with an open window of Chrome. One click on the bookmark and the internet address changes from Google.com to Tankionline.com. Your subconscious directs your mouse on its own and you're about the press "Play" when your eyes suddenly catch on a flashy box. Curious, you fly your vision over the picture, seeing what seems to be a cake (although you can't be sure, because to your knowledge a cake doesn't glow), with a huge "6" sticked into it.

What comes to your mind?

"Save your souls! The Illuminati has invaded Tanki! Ahhhh!": go to spoiler 3

"Looks like the Tanki logo turned into a birthday cake. And that must be tanks celebrating the 6th anniversary of Tanki Online. With some nice monosaccharide molecules as a topping, covered with some H₂₂O_{11 .}Lets have a closer look.": go to spoiler 4

Spoiler 3

You frantically gather all the weapons you have nearby, forage through kilometers of dirty clothes for more, and even go to the outside garden shed. Congratulations! Your total armament now consists of a crayon, a half-used eraser, a blob of one-month year old chewed gum and a gooey green thing you don't even remember where it came from. Ready to survive the apocalypse, you now proceed to learning more on the Great Illuminati Invasion of 2015, as you call it.

Go to spoiler 4.

Spoiler 4

"6 years old...uhuh...celebrations...blablabla, decorations...whatever...micro-updates discounts, okay...payment discounts, no one cares....50% off paints, not bad...50% of turrets, cool...wait."

You re-read the line three times, blinking at a rate of a thousand blinks per minute.

"Whoa. Wait. Wha. Fifty percent off turrets...YES! YES! HORRAY! WOOHOO! BOOYA! IN YOUR FACE YOU...uhhh...in your face you stupid...um, you stupid no-sale days."

You're suddenly taken by the urge to pull off a few Michael Jackson moves. You moonwalk whilst pumping your fists, not caring about the fact that you look like a crab trying to pull his arms off. Your utter lack of skill then causes you to fall face first onto the ground. Fortunately the meter of debris and other Unidentifiable Foul Objects (UFOs) acts as a cushion, and your nose is, surprisingly, still intact. However, the crash still wakened your snoring father, and his voice booms all over the house, telling you to stop fooling around.

Do you have a younger sibling?

Yes: go to spoiler 5

No, I have a older one: go to spoiler 6

No, I am the unique child: go to spoiler 7

Spoiler 5

Your father's shout awakens your sleeping sibling. That wouldn't be that bad (since the latter was holding your teddy bear and you wanted it back), but the little baby knocks over a lit candle. The white wax stick falls onto the carpet, spreading the fire throughout the fabric. The hot flames then touch the nearby walls. After an hour, the entire house burned down. The fire then continues to ravage the entire city, and reaches the wood. There, it hits a secret weapon which was secretly under developpement in a secret base by a secret county with a secret purpose. The weapon explodes, killing all life on Earth.

>>The End<< (See? Having a sibling can be a fatal mistake) see what I did there?

Spoiler 6

Your father's shout awakens your sleeping sibling. He* groans, moans, scratches his back, bursts into your room, unplugs your computer and flings it out the window. He goes back to sleep.

>>The End<< (Never forget to put a lock on your door. It's scientifically proven to save lives and electronics.)

*For simplicity purposes, it is assumed your sibling is male.

Spoiler 7

You calm down and sit back in front of the screen. "Fifty percent! A fat fifty percent! Get a load of this!" You think as you calculate if you'd be able to get that turret you always wanted. "Let's see...so...50/100^x2-56+X=Y²...ugh. Is Fen-Harel online?" You wonder as Skype's classic chime emanates from the speakers. "Seems like he's 'away'. So he's online, but his bench broke so he can't reach the keyboard anymore. Guess I'll have to, unfortunately, use my brain. What a tedious workout it'll be."

A few minutes later, you were seated on your exercise bench, four cans of soda next to you, three towels, a pair of backup socks and an energy snack. "You wanna piece of me? Bring it on maths!". And so you engaged in this action of a lifetime...

Finally, after an entire week, your exhausted brain came up with the conclusion that you only needed 2000 more crystals in order to acquire your dream turret.

And your calculations had taken so long, there was two hours left before the turret sale was over...

Go to Part 2

Checkpoint

>> Part 2 <<

"No, no, no, no no!" You seem to only know this single word as you quickly tap the taunting "Play". You feel like the loading bar is advancing one pixel at a time (which it probably is, actually). It then nearly reaches the end, but as expected it stops moving, however the ridges of green lines indicate its still loading. You're walking in circles all around the room, pulling out your hair and biting your nails. After a while, finally the log in page appears. You're forced to re-type your password four times due to your trembling fingers.

Guess what? The next loading bar also freezes at a millimeter of the end. Gee, what a surprise eh.

Are you prone to anger?

Yes: go to spoiler 1 (of part 2)

No: go to spoiler 2 (of part 2)

Spoiler 1

>>The End<<

Spoiler 2

After the most intense 5 minutes of your life, the beloved battle page of Tanki Online eventually appears on your screen. Heaving a gigantic sigh of relief, you scroll through the ongoing battles. Serpuhovs, Highlands, Gravities, Esplanades, the entire family is there, but you keep looking in search of the match which will hopefully bring you the required 2k crystals. Another 5 minutes is wasted on this activity, and in the end you find two candidates for the Crystals Express Service (free delivery with a purchase of 150$ and more!). An 1-hour Polygon CP, which has started three seconds ago. No points yet. The other option is an 45 minutes Stadium CTF, with 30 minutes left on the clock. The flag score is 7-6 for the reds, and they have an available spot. A sudden thunderbolt strikes outside as a raging storm starts pouring down, as if pushing you to choose faster. So, which battle would you prefer?

Choose a combo (turret, hull+paint), then head into one of these two battlegrounds.

If you choose the Polygon CP: open spoiler 3

If you choose the Stadium CTF: open spoiler 4

Spoiler 3

The Polygon CP you chose is nothing different from the others. Intense fighting, high kills but high deaths, it is an action-packed battle with high risks but high rewards.

You move around the battlefield, shooting your enemies, occasionally going in for point control. After 30 minutes that seemed like seconds, the score is now 232-219 in your favor, with you in top second. The fund went along smoothly when the event for which Polygons are reputed for happened. The one that kicks away all rules and ethics. The one which anyone would do anything for.

Guess...no, not chicken. Yes, anyone would do anything for it, but it's not that.

No, not Fen on a math formula roll. It indeed does completely shove aside ethics as everyone runs away screaming for their lives, but it's not that either.

(for more out-of-this-world hilariousness, search "math memes" on Google.) yes, math can be funny, don't worry, my mind blew too when I heard it for the first time

Guess again...

Yes! A Gold Box. Your heartbeat accelerates at the speed of a motorcycle as you instinctively press the 3, 4, and 5 buttons, before realizing you're playing in a Pro battle. "Seems like I'm on my own," you grit your teeth as you camera descends in order to detect the legendary parachute as soon as it's generated by the server. And that's when it happens.

The pixels of that section of the sky turn from blue to yellow as, in the space of a millisecond, the gold casing appears, and starts leisurely floating down. Its tranqullity is in contrast to the ground below it, where all tankers thrusted their finger onto the arrow keys with unprecedented force, including you. But do you even have a chance at catching it?

What hull did you choose?

Light hull: go to spoiler 5

Medium hull/Heavy hull (not including dictator): go to spoiler 6

Dictator: go to spoiler 7

If you did not choose Dictator, in the same circumstances, would you have the idea of immediately changing equipment? And is your internet connection fast enough to load the garage before the Gold drops? If the answer to both of these questions is "Yes", then congratulations! You have successfully switched to Dictator. Go to spoiler 7.

Spoiler 5

You speed towards the drop zone, evading all the other tanks converging onto the same point. Your fastness enables you to be one of the first to reach it, however the multitude of beams, whizzes, flames and shells sent your way make quick work out of your thin health, and you find yourself turned into a corpse right under the mythical Gold.

>>The End<<

Spoiler 6

You move at a speed too slow for your taste. At your extreme dismay, the Gold dropped at the complete other end of the map. You can only watch in despair as everyone converges towards it, whilst you're left behind, uselessy shooting tanks in front of you. The message that a Gold has been caught by someone else mockingly appears at the top of your screen when you're not even halfway there.

>>The End<<

Spoiler 7

"Haha! Ye mighty Dictator is here! Tremble, mere mortals!" You blast yourself a way through the mass of Hunters and Hornets, getting closer and closer to the Gold. However, you're still too far. "Move, you stupid nitwits!" You shout (although the only ones who can hear you is your family, and they probably think you've gone completely crazy). Just as you had given up hope in front of the mass of tanks, a Jackhammer accidentally raises you onto him, and you speed over the mob of players, eventually snatching the Gold with your large hitbox.

"I did it!" You check your crystals count to be sure.

"I really did it!" You shout as you're seized by uncontrollable giggles.

"Son? You alright up there?" Your mother asks from downstairs.

"I did, Mum! I did it!"

"Sure you did, honey. Now come downstairs, I need to prep you up for your date with your girlfriend!"

"Mooooom, she's not my girlfriend!" You sigh as you close your computer. Except in your joy you forgot to actually buy the turret...and your *cough* date *cough* lasts throughout the entire night. And, just your luck, the sale happened to be ending in twelve minutes.

The next day, as you open Tanki:

>>Congratulations! You won! (sort of)<<

Spoiler 4

Stadium CTF. You struggle to help your team keep their score advantage, shooting this and evading that, however you're unable to prevent an opponent from capping and turning the tables. His feat seems to spread hope in the hearts of his allies, and enemy caps follow one another. Soon, with 15 minutes left, the score is now 11-8 in their favor. No matter how much you treat your team of "bunch of stupid noobs!" and how many times you message "my team is a big facepalm" in the chat, no one manages to gain one score for the reds (your team). Eventually, you realize drugging is the only option left for the 2k dream to be possible.

How many supplies do you have? (if your rank is below Captain (four diamonds), take the biggest number of the five drugs. If your rank is above or equal to Captain, take the smallest number of the five drugs).

>100: go to spoiler 8

<100: go to spoiler 9

Spoiler 8

"noob drugger", "stop drugging noob", "you such a noob", these messages don't take long to appear. You barely notice them, too concentrated on your task of capturing flag after flag. After three minutes, the score becomes 15-11 in your favor. After six minutes, 21-12. At the near end of the battle, 30-15. Your entire stock of drugs has been wasted, but you have your 2k. With ten seconds left on the timer, you lean back on your chair and watch contently your screen. When suddenly the latter turns black.

A "wait wha" escapes your mouth as the lights in your room also turn off, then followed by the silencing of the air conditioner.

"What." You tap your computer, scream at it, call it a noob, threaten it to use it to play a video of Hog's singing, but the electronic machine refuses to turn on. "Mr. Big Bossy Zeus wants to make storm and ruin my life eh?" You grit your teeth in uncontrollable anger. You throw your computer out the window, and pack a hasty bag of food and other vital supplies.

You then set out towards the airport, with the intention of flying to Greece and blowing up the Acropolis, including the temple of Zeus.

>>Congratulations! You win!<<

Although not the part of the airport thingy, because no one sane would let a kid take a plane by himself, and besides, where would you get the explosives anyways. I mean, its not like you can call Amazon.com and say "Yo, bro, gimme a pack of C4, I'm gonna blow up the Acropolis. Its buy two get one free right?"

Spoiler 9

How do you expect yourself to drug if you don't have drugs? It's like asking Fen to get into a car without a ladder. It's impossible.

>>The End<<

Edited January 7, 2018 by Hexed

PenguinNEWexp · June 26, 2015

Those spoilers aren't opening. May I ask WHY, Kevin?

Shedinja · June 26, 2015

Rules and Tips:

-This article contains multiple gifs and pictures uploaded via Tinypic, which are essential to the storyline. As such, it is recommended that readers read this article on devices which support gifs and allow tinypic.com (e.g. school computers are a no-no)

-Do not open spoilers which you were not told to open. I AM SERIOUS ABOUT THIS ONE.

-Be honest (except when you previously died, and are re-trying, of course): this is probably the rule that is the least respected.

-Don't go crazy and open all the spoilers you see. Going crazy is bad for your health.

-Once you finish the aventure, refresh the page to try taking another path. Then, and only after, feel free to go crazy and open all the spoilers.

>>Start<<

"Ahh", you let out as you fling yourself into your favorite sofa. Wet hair, soaked clothes, at that moment you sure hated rain a lot. After a tedious half-hour of walking home from school under the heaven's anger, boy did it feel good, lying on the sofa, unmindful of the water dripping all over the leather. You'll have to clean it up later for sure (after you send your mom to the emergency when she faints), but for now, all you wanted was to rest. To rest and...some Tanki, why not. Smiling at the perspective of wrecking your friends once again, you seat yourself in front of the computer, ready for another session of mad drugging.

Do you know how to open a computer?

No: go to spoiler 1

Yes: go to spoiler 2

Spoiler 1

Wow. Just wow. Simply unbelievable. You literally just read a second ago that you have to be H-O-N-E-S-T. So now, refresh your page and get your butt back to the beginning before I decide to stop face-palming myself and direct my palm towards your face instead.

>>The End<<

Spoiler 2

Your finger flies over the keyboard as you log into your personalized account. You're immediately greeted with an open window of Chrome. One click on the bookmark and the internet address changes from Google.com to Tankionline.com. Your subconscious directs your mouse on its own and you're about the press "Play" when your eyes suddenly catch on a flashy box. Curious, you fly your vision over the picture, seeing what seems to be a cake (although you can't be sure, because to your knowledge a cake doesn't glow), with a huge "6" sticked into it.

What comes to your mind?

"Save your souls! The Illuminati has invaded Tanki! Ahhhh!": go to spoiler 3

"Looks like the Tanki logo turned into a birthday cake. And that must be tanks celebrating the 6th anniversary of Tanki Online. With some nice monosaccharide molecules as a topping, covered with some H₂₂O_{11 .}Lets have a closer look.": go to spoiler 4

Spoiler 3

You frantically gather all the weapons you have nearby, forage through kilometers of dirty clothes for more, and even go to the outside garden shed. Congratulations! Your total armament now consists of a crayon, a half-used eraser, a blob of one-month year old chewed gum and a gooey green thing you don't even remember where it came from. Ready to survive the apocalypse, you now proceed to learning more on the Great Illuminati Invasion of 2015, as you call it.

Go to spoiler 4.

Spoiler 4

"6 years old...uhuh...celebrations...blablabla, decorations...whatever...micro-updates discounts, okay...payment discounts, no one cares....50% off paints, not bad...50% of turrets, cool...wait."

You re-read the line three times, blinking at a rate of a thousand blinks per minute.

"Whoa. Wait. Wha. Fifty percent off turrets...YES! YES! HORRAY! WOOHOO! BOOYA! IN YOUR FACE YOU...uhhh...in your face you stupid...um, you stupid no-sale days."

You're suddenly taken by the urge to pull off a few Michael Jackson moves. You moonwalk whilst pumping your fists, not caring about the fact that you look like a crab trying to pull his arms off. Your utter lack of skill then causes you to fall face first onto the ground. Fortunately the meter of debris and other Unidentifiable Foul Objects (UFOs) acts as a cushion, and your nose is, surprisingly, still intact. However, the crash still wakened your snoring father, and his voice booms all over the house, telling you to stop fooling around.

Do you have a younger sibling?

Yes: go to spoiler 5

No, I have a older one: go to spoiler 6

No, I am the unique child: go to spoiler 7

Spoiler 5

Your father's shout awakens your sleeping sibling. That wouldn't be that bad (since the latter was holding your teddy bear and you wanted it back), but the little baby knocks over a lit candle. The white wax stick falls onto the carpet, spreading the fire throughout the fabric. The hot flames then touch the nearby walls. After an hour, the entire house burned down. The fire then continues to ravage the entire city, and reaches the wood. There, it hits a secret weapon which was secretly under developpement in a secret base by a secret county with a secret purpose. The weapon explodes, killing all life on Earth.

>>The End<< (See? Having a sibling can be a fatal mistake) see what I did there?

Spoiler 6

Your father's shout awakens your sleeping sibling. He* groans, moans, scratches his back, bursts into your room, unplugs your computer and flings it out the window. He goes back to sleep.

>>The End<< (Never forget to put a lock on your door. It's scientifically proven to save lives and electronics.)

*For simplicity purposes, it is assumed your sibling is male.

Spoiler 7

You calm down and sit back in front of the screen. "Fifty percent! A fat fifty percent! Get a load of this!" You think as you calculate if you'd be able to get that turret you always wanted. "Let's see...so...50/100^x2-56+X=Y²...ugh. Is Fen-Harel online?" You wonder as Skype's classic chime emanates from the speakers. "Seems like he's 'away'. So he's online, but his bench broke so he can't reach the keyboard anymore. Guess I'll have to, unfortunately, use my brain. What a tedious workout it'll be."

A few minutes later, you were seated on your exercise bench, four cans of soda next to you, three towels, a pair of backup socks and an energy snack. "You wanna piece of me? Bring it on maths!". And so you engaged in this action of a lifetime...

Finally, after an entire week, your exhausted brain came up with the conclusion that you only needed 2000 more crystals in order to acquire your dream turret.

And your calculations had taken so long, there was two hours left before the turret sale was over...

Go to Part 2

Checkpoint

>> Part 2 <<

"No, no, no, no no!" You seem to only know this single word as you quickly tap the taunting "Play". You feel like the loading bar is advancing one pixel at a time (which it probably is, actually). It then nearly reaches the end, but as expected it stops moving, however the ridges of green lines indicate its still loading. You're walking in circles all around the room, pulling out your hair and biting your nails. After a while, finally the log in page appears. You're forced to re-type your password four times due to your trembling fingers.

Guess what? The next loading bar also freezes at a millimeter of the end. Gee, what a surprise eh.

Are you prone to anger?

Yes: go to spoiler 1 (of part 2)

No: go to spoiler 2 (of part 2)

Spoiler 1

>>The End<<

Spoiler 2

After the most intense 5 minutes of your life, the beloved battle page of Tanki Online eventually appears on your screen. Heaving a gigantic sigh of relief, you scroll through the ongoing battles. Serpuhovs, Highlands, Gravities, Esplanades, the entire family is there, but you keep looking in search of the match which will hopefully bring you the required 2k crystals. Another 5 minutes is wasted on this activity, and in the end you find two candidates for the Crystals Express Service (free delivery with a purchase of 150$ and more!). An 1-hour Polygon CP, which has started three seconds ago. No points yet. The other option is an 45 minutes Stadium CTF, with 30 minutes left on the clock. The flag score is 7-6 for the reds, and they have an available spot. A sudden thunderbolt strikes outside as a raging storm starts pouring down, as if pushing you to choose faster. So, which battle would you prefer?

Choose a combo (turret, hull+paint), then head into one of these two battlegrounds.

If you choose the Polygon CP: open spoiler 3

If you choose the Stadium CTF: open spoiler 4

Spoiler 3

The Polygon CP you chose is nothing different from the others. Intense fighting, high kills but high deaths, it is an action-packed battle with high risks but high rewards.

You move around the battlefield, shooting your enemies, occasionally going in for point control. After 30 minutes that seemed like seconds, the score is now 232-219 in your favor, with you in top second. The fund went along smoothly when the event for which Polygons are reputed for happened. The one that kicks away all rules and ethics. The one which anyone would do anything for.

Guess...no, not chicken. Yes, anyone would do anything for it, but it's not that.

No, not Fen on a math formula roll. It indeed does completely shove aside ethics as everyone runs away screaming for their lives, but it's not that either.

(for more out-of-this-world hilariousness, search "math memes" on Google.) yes, math can be funny, don't worry, my mind blew too when I heard it for the first time

Guess again...

Yes! A Gold Box. Your heartbeat accelerates at the speed of a motorcycle as you instinctively press the 3, 4, and 5 buttons, before realizing you're playing in a Pro battle. "Seems like I'm on my own," you grit your teeth as you camera descends in order to detect the legendary parachute as soon as it's generated by the server. And that's when it happens.

The pixels of that section of the sky turn from blue to yellow as, in the space of a millisecond, the gold casing appears, and starts leisurely floating down. Its tranqullity is in contrast to the ground below it, where all tankers thrusted their finger onto the arrow keys with unprecedented force, including you. But do you even have a chance at catching it?

What hull did you choose?

Light hull: go to spoiler 5

Medium hull/Heavy hull (not including dictator): go to spoiler 6

Dictator: go to spoiler 7

If you did not choose Dictator, in the same circumstances, would you have the idea of immediately changing equipment? And is your internet connection fast enough to load the garage before the Gold drops? If the answer to both of these questions is "Yes", then congratulations! You have successfully switched to Dictator. Go to spoiler 7.

Spoiler 5

You speed towards the drop zone, evading all the other tanks converging onto the same point. Your fastness enables you to be one of the first to reach it, however the multitude of beams, whizzes, flames and shells sent your way make quick work out of your thin health, and you find yourself turned into a corpse right under the mythical Gold.

>>The End<<

Spoiler 6

You move at a speed too slow for your taste. At your extreme dismay, the Gold dropped at the complete other end of the map. You can only watch in despair as everyone converges towards it, whilst you're left behind, uselessy shooting tanks in front of you. The message that a Gold has been caught by someone else mockingly appears at the top of your screen when you're not even halfway there.

>>The End<<

Spoiler 7

"Haha! Ye mighty Dictator is here! Tremble, mere mortals!" You blast yourself a way through the mass of Hunters and Hornets, getting closer and closer to the Gold. However, you're still too far. "Move, you stupid nitwits!" You shout (although the only ones who can hear you is your family, and they probably think you've gone completely crazy). Just as you had given up hope in front of the mass of tanks, a Jackhammer accidentally raises you onto him, and you speed over the mob of players, eventually snatching the Gold with your large hitbox.

"I did it!" You check your crystals count to be sure.

"I really did it!" You shout as you're seized by uncontrollable giggles.

"Son? You alright up there?" Your mother asks from downstairs.

"I did, Mum! I did it!"

"Sure you did, honey. Now come downstairs, I need to prep you up for your date with your girlfriend!"

"Mooooom, she's not my girlfriend!" You sigh as you close your computer. Except in your joy you forgot to actually buy the turret...and your *cough* date *cough* lasts throughout the entire night. And, just your luck, the sale happened to be ending in twelve minutes.

The next day, as you open Tanki:

>>Congratulations! You won! (sort of)<<

Spoiler 4

Stadium CTF. You struggle to help your team keep their score advantage, shooting this and evading that, however you're unable to prevent an opponent from capping and turning the tables. His feat seems to spread hope in the hearts of his allies, and enemy caps follow one another. Soon, with 15 minutes left, the score is now 11-8 in their favor. No matter how much you treat your team of "bunch of stupid noobs!" and how many times you message "my team is a big facepalm" in the chat, no one manages to gain one score for the reds (your team). Eventually, you realize drugging is the only option left for the 2k dream to be possible.

How many supplies do you have? (if your rank is below Captain (four diamonds), take the biggest number of the five drugs. If your rank is above or equal to Captain, take the smallest number of the five drugs).

>100: go to spoiler 8

<100: go to spoiler 9

Spoiler 8

"noob drugger", "stop drugging noob", "you such a noob", these messages don't take long to appear. You barely notice them, too concentrated on your task of capturing flag after flag. After three minutes, the score becomes 15-11 in your favor. After six minutes, 21-12. At the near end of the battle, 30-15. Your entire stock of drugs has been wasted, but you have your 2k. With ten seconds left on the timer, you lean back on your chair and watch contently your screen. When suddenly the latter turns black.

A "wait wha" escapes your mouth as the lights in your room also turn off, then followed by the silencing of the air conditioner.

"What." You tap your computer, scream at it, call it a noob, threaten it to use it to play a video of Hog's singing, but the electronic machine refuses to turn on. "Mr. Big Bossy Zeus wants to make storm and ruin my life eh?" You grit your teeth in uncontrollable anger. You throw your computer out the window, and pack a hasty bag of food and other vital supplies.

You then set out towards the airport, with the intention of flying to Greece and blowing up the Acropolis, including the temple of Zeus.

>>Congratulations! You win!<<

Although not the part of the airport thingy, because no one sane would let a kid take a plane by himself, and besides, where would you get the explosives anyways. I mean, its not like you can call Amazon.com and say "Yo, bro, gimme a pack of C4, I'm gonna blow up the Acropolis. Its buy two get one free right?"

Spoiler 9

How do you expect yourself to drug if you don't have drugs? It's like asking Fen to get into a car without a ladder. It's impossible.

>>The End<<

Ah, always fun reading one of these. Writing that cares what your opinions are!

Reeco9 · June 26, 2015

Made for an enjoyable read.

Good work!

Kevred · June 26, 2015

Those spoilers aren't opening. May I ask WHY, Kevin?

Possibility no.1: Your parents rigged your computer so it can only open Disney stuff

Possibility no.2: Your mouse got broken when you hit it after you missed a Gold.

Possibility no.3 (and most plausible one): You're using a 1997 Brick computer which doesn't support pixels.

genak138 · June 26, 2015

Does 1998 count? :3

P.S: I'm stuck in Spoiler 4, because I have a younger sibling and and older one. Which spoiler do I have your permission for to check next?

Edited June 26, 2015 by genak138

BlazingCoder · June 26, 2015

:D

Kevred · June 26, 2015

P.S: I'm stuck in Spoiler 4, because I have a younger sibling and and older one. Which spoiler do I have your permission for to check next?

xD

Option 1: ~~Murder~~ Dispose of one of your siblings.

Option 2: Open both spoilers and get ready fooooooor..... INCEPTION. Or is it PARADOX. Or something SIMILAR.

Edited June 26, 2015 by Kevred

genak138 · June 26, 2015

I'll take option two :P

I think this page has already created a paradox, as I left the page open while reading your article about treasures from Issues one to four. Clicking on one of the links, I realized you quoting me was in my notifications, so I clicked on that, and now I have two copies of this page open, one of which I have all spoilers closed and this post posted, the other one with some spoilers opened and this comment does not exist. The paradox shall soon normalize and one of the pages will automatically close. I wonder which one shall close :ph34r:

Kevred · June 27, 2015

I'll take option two :P

I think this page has already created a paradox, as I left the page open while reading your article about treasures from Issues one to four. Clicking on one of the links, I realized you quoting me was in my notifications, so I clicked on that, and now I have two copies of this page open, one of which I have all spoilers closed and this post posted, the other one with some spoilers opened and this comment does not exist. The paradox shall soon normalize and one of the pages will automatically close. I wonder which one shall close :ph34r:

That aint a paradox m8 :mellow:

Thats just a really really weird situation. There's a difference k

genak138 · June 27, 2015

That aint a paradox m8 :mellow:

Thats just a really really weird situation. There's a difference k

paradox: n. a really weird situation, usually one that contradicts itself

:P

TriNitroToIuene · June 27, 2015

Hilarious :lol:

PenguinNEWexp · June 27, 2015

Possibility no.1: Your parents rigged your computer so it can only open Disney stuff

Possibility no.2: Your mouse got broken when you hit it after you missed a Gold.

Possibility no.3 (and most plausible one): You're using a 1997 Brick computer which doesn't support pixels.

Nope, I am using my mother's mobile, and it perfectly supported your last adventure. It supports GIFs.

hogree · June 27, 2015

Nope, I am using my mother's mobile, and it perfectly supported your last adventure. It supports GIFs.

Spoilers often are unable to open on mobiles, same with mine. Either turn off Mobile View on your phone or go on a PC.

momy950666 · June 27, 2015

loved it

deafeat1 · June 27, 2015

Its fun... Nice one Kev.. :D

1stsuperwhitedragon · June 27, 2015

Spoilers often are unable to open on mobiles, same with mine. Either turn off Mobile View on your phone or go on a PC.

not fully true because I can still open spoilers on my phone (except this) Edited June 27, 2015 by 1stsuperwhitedragon

Kevred · June 27, 2015

Nope, I am using my mother's mobile, and it perfectly supported your last adventure. It supports GIFs.

Your....mother's mobile? M'kay.

My....last adventure? I think you're talking about the other adventurer, Mr. Penguin.

Penguin40 · June 27, 2015

oh yeah, forgot who wrote the New Year adventure, Mr. Kevinthemadchicken. <gets banned for insulting staff>

sha77777_super · June 28, 2015

Amazing!!! :D

Kevred · June 28, 2015

oh yeah, forgot who wrote the New Year adventure, Mr. Kevinthemadchicken. <gets banned for insulting staff>

It was a Christmas adventure :mellow: And why would you get banned for a compliment?

Tanker1928374655 · June 28, 2015

Tell that to my 7th Grade Math Teacher... She was always so excited about math, while half my brain was focusing on Lunch and the other on the birds and squirrels outside -_-

(Explains why I got a 76 on my Accumalative)

Edited June 28, 2015 by Tanker1928374655

pj_the_crazy · June 28, 2015

im the 7th kid out of 8 in my family

tankkipankki · June 28, 2015

LOL !!! very funny article :3 :D

Penguin40 · June 29, 2015

It was a Christmas adventure :mellow: And why would you get banned for a compliment?

See the funny ~~chicken~~ reason. I named you "Kevinthemadchicken" then said, "gets banned for insulting staff". Anyways, if you wanna continue this conversation, bring this to a PM.

Congo to whoever sees this first after the release of Issue 2 of the TWG! Here is the keyword. Send it to Penguin40 in a PM when Issue 2 of the TWG releases. Not before it!

Kevred

Edited October 9, 2015 by Penguin40

Challenge	Start Date	End Date
1	15.08	29.08
2	29.08	05.09
3	05.09	12.09
4	12.09	19.09
5	19.09	26.09
6	26.09	3.10
7	3.10	10.10
8	10.10	17.10

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