[Forum Game] Jokes!

[TheRailgunMaster228 86]

So this is how it goes

Everyone posts a joke which ever joke has the most upvotes by 1 week wins

 

So It starts today Thurs.18th June

On the 25th of june I will check who has gotten the most upvote on their post they win.

 

Winners:

no winners at the moment

 

~have fun!

[TheRailgunMaster228 86]

Here's one :lol:

 

 Que. Why did the boy eat his homework?

Answer: Because his teacher said it's a "piece of cake"

[sater33 0]

Q: Why was the police officer in bed?

A: Because he worked undercover.

[dilsharox 2,395]

still working on it

[TheRailgunMaster228 86]

Q: A boy wanted to see a scary movie So heasked his mom "Can I watch a scary Movie?"

A: His mom answered "Go look in the mirror"

 

:lol:

[MrAwesome750 17]

I saw a kidnapping today... I decided not to wake him up

[TheRailgunMaster228 86]

^

LOL

 

Guys i will announce the winners on thurday so get ready, yo are allowed to pos morethan 1 joke by the way

[eminem9870 605]

Do girls play any sports?

Yes they do, they surf the internet.

 

What are girls favorite sport?

Surfing the Internet

 

 

Note:Same thing, just kinda reworded

Edited June 23, 2015 by eminem9870

[golden5648 1,686]

A man held 5 oranges on 1 hand and 12 bananas on the other.

 

What did he have?

 

Ans. Big hands

[jokersus.cava 1,503]

Police: where do u live?

Me: with my parents

Police: where does your parents live?

Me: with me

Police: where do u all live?

Me: together

Police: where is your house?

Me: next to my neighbour's house

Police: where is your neighbour's house?

Me: if I tell you u wont believe me.

Police: tell me

Me: next to my house

 

 

Sorry for the downvote, I was trying to open reputations list (hug)

Here's one :lol:

 

Que. Why did the boy eat his homework?

Answer: Because his teacher said it's a "piece of cake"

 

[TheRailgunMaster228 86]

^

none taken :lol:

[tony990_Superstar 68]

I have a joke:

 

The San Francisco Giants

 

A real joke?

 

What do you call a bunch of bandwagoners?

Giants fans

Edited June 24, 2015 by tony990_Superstar

[rtey31 51]

Two hunters go into a forest. After hunting for only 45 minutes, one of them suddenly collapses. Panicking, the second hunter picks up his phone and dials 911. He says: "My friend has collapsed, what should I do?", to which the operator replies: "Just make sure he's dead first". A sound of gunshots is heard, and then the hunter says: "Now what?"

[fufususumumu1 240]

 

 

ALERT!

 

 

get it get it?!?!?

spoiler ALERT!?!? *awkward silence*

[Herono2 0]

There are 3 boys with weird names: stupid,nothing and no-one. They are walking on the street. Crossing a bridge, then suddenly, the person named no-one fell in the water. nothing told stupid to call the police. Stupid took the telephone and said: Hi, i am stupid. I call for Nothing. No one fell in the water.lol

[1stsuperwhitedragon 408]

There are 3 boys with weird names: stupid,nothing and no-one. They are walking on the street. Crossing a bridge, then suddenly, the person named no-one fell in the water. nothing told stupid to call the police. Stupid took the telephone and said: Hi, i am stupid. I call for Nothing. No one fell in the water.lol

lol I loled to death XD

[Herono2 0]

A boy wanted to learn how to speak English. He walks on the road and listen to people speaking English. He hears a dad talking to his son:If you want to right you have to use a pencil. The boy heard pencil and memorizes it. He continues his journey and hears: I will buy seeds. Why? It is for a bird. You go there alone. The boy memorizes: a bird and you go there alone. Suddenly, a police officer came and asked him:

-What is your name?

-Pencil.

-Who do you think i am?

-A bird.

-Do you want to go to prison?

-You go there alone.

lol

[Herono2 0]

Q Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Because he wants to go to high school

:P lol

Edited July 25, 2015 by Herono2

[Herono2 0]

A persons name is shut-up and another persons name is a-fight. They are walking and suddenly, they lost each other. So shut-up called his friend and started talking:

-Who is this?

-Shut up.

-Sorry?

-Shut up.

-Are you looking for a fight?

-Yes.

lol

[Herono2 0]

lol I loled to death XD

Thanks. :D

[1stsuperwhitedragon 408]

A persons name is shut-up and another persons name is a-fight. They are walking and suddenly, they lost each other. So shut-up called his friend and started talking:

-Who is this?

-Shut up.

-Sorry?

-Shut up.

-Are you looking for a fight?

-Yes.

lol

Q Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Because he wants to go to high school

:P lol

A boy wanted to learn how to speak English. He walks on the road and listen to people speaking English. He hears a dad talking to his son:If you want to right you have to use a pencil. The boy heard pencil and memorizes it. He continues his journey and hears: I will buy seeds. Why? It is for a bird. You go there alone. The boy memorizes: a bird and you go there alone. Suddenly, a police officer came and asked him:

-What is your name?

-Pencil.

-Who do you think i am?

-A bird.

-Do you want to go to prison?

-You go there alone.

lol

:lol:

[1stsuperwhitedragon 408]

A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purcha groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eg of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the woman, "You m single." The woman was surprised & replies, "Yes, how did you The clerk answers, "Because you're ugly."

[asdasemm 925]

When you walk up to the opportunity door, don't knock it....kick the B!TCH :angry:  in, smile :)  and introduce yourself :P

[asdasemm 925]

Q: what is the difference between malaria and dosa? 

A: malaria is spread by mosquito...and dosa is spread by humans

 

---

PS: Dosa is a indian dish

[asdasemm 925]

akbar asked birbal ' there are brilliant people in the state, will there be idiots available?'

 

birbal said ' there will be.'

 

Akbar then ordered Birbal to go around the state search and bring 5 idiots and present to him in the council

 

Birbal was awestruck since you can identify brilliant people by conducting some forms of competitions, but how to identify idiots?

 

However, he goes around the statevand aftee a month, he comes back with 2 such people(here after the following is the conversation between birbal and akbar)

 

akbar: 'Dear Minister I think you are poor in counting, i asked for 5 and you have brought only two'

 

Birbal: 'your highness, please let me explain and then you will know yourself'

 

Akbar: ' ok '

 

Birbal: "when i was going around the state i found this guy carrying a huge gunny bag on his head and travelling in a bullock cart. When i asked him, he replied 'It will be overloading the cart and hurt the bulls.'then i realises that he is the 5th iidiot and brought him to you.

 

Akbar: Excellent. Next..?

 

Birbal: I saw another guy was taking his buffalo to the roof top of his house for grazing where the grass was found grown.i realised he is the 4th iidiot and brought him here...

 

Akbar: Fine.Next..

 

Birbal: when there are so much of problems in the functioning of this kingdom, leaving those entire aside I have been going around the state for a month wasting my time in search of idiots,hence i am the third iidiot

 

Akbar: hahaha :lol: . true...next?

 

Birbal: Instead of solving all the problems that there in the Kingdom, you have been looking for idiots in the state, hence you are the 2nd iidiot

 

(hearing this...the entire council was silent)

 

Akbar: ok... <_< next?

 

birbal: When there is so much of work nowadays and tankers who are watching us and wasting their time...they are the 1st iidiot

 

:D  :lol:  :P

Edited July 29, 2015 by asdasemm