Replace "Customer Support" with a Magic 8-ball

[BAMBIBX 178]

I've contacted tech support on numerous occasions.  Their response is always a canned response and usually shows that they either did not read my email or didn't understand it.  I suspected there was no intelligence present at Customer support, so I sent in the following complaint to test the hypothesis:

 

Subject: 

 

Hawaiian Hula Girls are throwing tanks around in Rio  CTF

 

Message: 

 

At the 12:40 mark of a 15 minute game, Hawaiian Hula Girls dressed in blue began throwing the red tanks off the board where they were destroyed.

 

About 12 tanks were destroyed, and the score changed by 4 flags (in favor of the red team) in the last 2:20.

 

This is really an unfair advantage for the other team.

 

How can I fix this?

 

===

 

The response was laughably predictable. 

 

====

Hello!

To punish violators we need proofs, in this case: screenshots or video.

Please send your video or screenshots in this theme on forum  http://en.tankiforum.com/index.php?showforum=76 and players who violated the rules will be punished.

--

Best regards, support team.
Give Us Feedback

 

====

 

I consider the hypothesis proven.  There is no intelligence in Customer Service.

 

That being the case, I recommend Tanki fire their entire Customer Service Department and replace it with a Magic 8-ball (a fortune-tellig device invented by the Three Stooges.)  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_8-Ball.  They could replace the stock answers with "Reset your browser cache", "Report the violators", "Restart your Browser", "Submit more proof" and so on.  Then whenever someone wrote in with a bug report or question, they could just send the "Magic 8-Ball" answer giving no more thought to the matter than they currently do.

 

Look for my next entry... maybe King Kong and Gozilla showing up and pelting the tanks with Jujyfruits while singing Irish drinking songs and twirling batons...

 

[PowerStrike1.1 270]

...The following subject is more laughable than the response. Why do you think that they would send a more suitable reponse to a ridiculous question? Seriously, "Hula Girls"?

[Chameleos 157]

"Sorry, but we do not accept pranks.

 Best regards, tanki team"

 

This is a suitable response to that, man. Not "To punish violators" ._.

[LeIouch_Vi_Britannia 6,163]

Get along with it, we all know help desk is a big joke.

[Meowmix56 174]

Hard to say.  When confronted with anything unorthodox bureaucrats often fall back on canned responses.  They perceive this as being more professional than responding honestly when they feel someone is making fun of them.  This is almost indistinguishable from an automated system. 

 

I've had some success with the help desk for technical issues, but the bar is intentionally set high for account recovery and violators.   Whether this is to prevent abuse, save resources, or just try to get people with valid problems to sit down and shut up is mostly a matter of how optimistic you feel.

[sachet100 1,020]

 

 

Magic 8 Ball responded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!111 Everything is PEACE now!

[Indra_Otsutsuki 329]

One word:

 

LOL

 

[i200000 717]

[dilsharox 2,395]

lol

[Maf 32,300]

Please don't joke around and prank Tanki's "help" service. You're not the only one sending jokes and other rubbish like this to them and I assure you that they are sick and tired of getting hundreds of messages with spam like this on a daily basis. They are not supposed to ignore your email and they have to take it seriously, so the only appropriate response in this case was the one they gave you. Yes, it's a basic copy-pasted text that they send to every player, who wants to report a violator, but considering that they get a ton of emails to sort through every day, it's completely understandable that many responses are automated.

 

The tech support team are trying their best to help you. Please don't abuse their service.

 

Closed.