Other [Issue 37] Flooding and Spamming: All Pain, No Gain

[sonofchrysalis3 3,719]

The chat system is Tanki’s simplest and most useful tool. With it, tankers can coordinate team movements, give or take bits of advice, and, most importantly, meet new friends. Such versatility and utility make the chat an indispensable asset.
 
The fact that a tiny text box on the bottom of the screen can hold so much power is daunting to some tankers, who want to use it to its fullest potential but don’t quite know how to go about it. These players sit silently for a moment, fingers poised above the keyboard, racking their brains for ideas....
 
And then they type “asdfghjkl”.
 
Consider the example of my poor friend Derpy Hooves. She’s a great girl, always fun to hang out with. But put her in front of a chat box and watch what happens. She floods and spams like crazy! She has been banned several times in the past month, yet she defends her actions like a martyr. “Aw, heck, it’s only a five minute ban! No problem!”
 
Here’s my message to you, Derpy: it IS a problem, and here’s why:
 

1. It accomplishes absolutely nothing.

I can’t quite wrap my mind around this. What is so vastly entertaining about repeatedly typing the word “muffin”? Tanki offers you lots of exciting and engaging activities to choose from and enjoy. Isn’t there something more productive you could do besides hammer away aimlessly at your keyboard? You always complain about how few crystals you have, or how the Gold Box never drops; yet there you are in the chat room again, blindly stomping keys like a sleepwalking five-year-old. Stop that and go do something useful!

2. It makes you look silly.

Do you think anytanki will want to hang out with a girl who only types gibberish? Of course they won’t! Smart tankers don’t type “gabble uffa muffa bagga boo”, or whatever it is you always say. It’s embarrassing to play on your team when all the other players are snickering at your mindless drivel. Can’t you say something that actually helps the game and informs the players, like “OMIGOSH here comes a tank and he just got the flag and he’s shooting at me and I just blew up AAAGH!”

That’s what you always say when you come over to play on my computer.

3. It will get you banned.

Hey, Derp, did you know that you can be banned for flooding and spamming? Oh, you did know that? Why, how on earth could you have known... oh, that’s right, you’ve been banned a bazillion times. Must’ve slipped my mind.

You always talk about how you want to be on the Tanki reporter team someday (how exactly are you going to accomplish that using pastry recipes?), so I suggest you quit chipping away at your karma and try staying on the right side of the law.

4. You will develop an unpleasant reputation.

Don’t think sullied karma is a bad thing? News Flash: Tanki isn’t the only one keeping track. I was playing Farm CTF a few days ago, and our team was short a player. I saw that you were online, so I suggested to a teammate that we invite you to the battle. “No way!” he laughed, “That goofball never does anything but spam the chat box. Invite her and we’re sure to lose!"

Derpy, buddy, you know I love you. We’ve been through it all together, and I’ll always be here for you. But that same sentiment urges me to say this: you’re making a fool of yourself. Flooding and spamming are not only against the rules, they are also impacting you beyond Tanki. Some of our own tanker friends living right here in town think of you as a hindrance to the team, and that trickles right into real life. They see you sitting in the café and don’t go over to say "hi", because you’ll probably respond “gabble uffa muffa bagga boo.”

For your own sake, either follow the rules or disable your chat box.

* * * * * * * *

 

Tanki doesn’t create rules for the mere joy of creating rules.  Every restriction they put in place has a very good reason behind it, the no-flooding law included.  Typing pointlessly is a waste of the tanker’s time and the computer’s processing power.  Tanki’s servers need that power in order to maintain good quality battles that don’t make players scream “MY FRAME RATE IS TWELVE FPS!!!”  Blabbering without purpose hurts you, but it also hurts the entire Tanki community.  Please, show some common courtesy and keep your chat content brief and useful.

As I have told Derpy Hooves many a time, “Less talki, more Tanki.”

Edited July 29, 2017 by Hexed

[CTaen 214]

:D I love it

Your first article for newspapper and is the best one out their in the newspapper section :D

Edited July 31, 2015 by CTaen

[BlazingCoder 108]

+1 Well written humorous article :D

[sha77777_super 877]

Nice!

Your articles are awesome and we enjoy a lot reading them!

Well done buddy, keep it up! ;)

And yes congrats for becoming a reporter :D

[LeIouch_Vi_Britannia 6,163]

Quite nice but I like talking over playing,

 

Finding helpful friends is hell more important for me than just shooting -_-

[Darren4Turbo 4,913]

Brilliant writing! :D

 

Great job.

[may123456 37]

"gabble uffa muffa bagga boo" 

LOL

[sonofchrysalis3 3,719]

"gabble uffa muffa bagga boo" 

LOL

I'm not kidding either, she actually said this once!

[LaserShark 2,095]

Pretty sure you're making half this stuff up.

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

 

 

“Less talki, more Tanki.”

 

That is one of the truest things you've said, and *mmmffffffffBWAHAHAHAHAHA* one of the funniest too!

[KIngJack21 1,923]

Mult kick require. :excl:
 

[Scientist 4,224]

As I have told Derpy Hooves many a time, “Less talki, more Tanki.”

Loved this line!!!

Great article, mate! Just make sure the font and color you choose go well with each other. I changed the color back to read without hurting my eyes :P.

[Indra_Otsutsuki 329]

I LOVE TANKI NEWSPAPERS IT IS SO DOPEST AND STUPID THAT IT MAKES MWEE STAART TALKINBFG LIEKA A DLJHFSDJKHSFJKSHDFLHSFKLSJHHFSKLDHAKLDFHALKFHALWEUIFLASJDMFHALSUIDFHASJKFHAWKLSDJHASF

 

JK, please don't ban me just because of flood this topic is all about it!!!

 

[fightermalikio20115 374]

great.this made me laugh

[AN_602 280]

Anyone who plays this game must have encountered at least a couple of times some tanker, posting a bunch of characters that form the shape of waves or something. And i agree with you- there are lots of great things about tanki, and it's somewhat sad to see people who've put a lot of effort in their account, risking it by spamming with some stupid ascii. I must admint that, in some cases, it's still pretty funny to watch.

[classyplebs 1,786]

Simply amazing and eloquent writing coming from @sonofchrysalis3. You're supposed to be a Captain to be part of staff but this guys swag was too much to pass up :D

 

 

 

Just seeing that you're using Internet Explorer makes me cry.

 

 

Edited August 3, 2015 by classyplebs

[sonofchrysalis3 3,719]

@Come.at.me.brah:

 

Internet Explorer is almost as horrible as an onion sandwich without mayo.  I can't even quote on it, as you can see.  I have to log out and sign in on Google Chrome in order to quote.

 

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH for the compliments everypony!!!  I feel so smushy.... :)

[Penguin40 1,714]

@Come.at.me.brah:

 

Internet Explorer is almost as horrible as an onion sandwich without mayo.  I can't even quote on it, as you can see.  I have to log out and sign in on Google Chrome in order to quote.

 

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH for the compliments everypony!!!  I feel so smushy.... :)

Use Chrome forever, don't even touch Explorer if you wanna quote. (Wait, ponies eat sandwiches?)

[sonofchrysalis3 3,719]

Use Chrome forever, don't even touch Explorer if you wanna quote. (Wait, ponies eat sandwiches?)

Yes, I eat sandwiches quite frequently.

[Penguin40 1,714]

Yes, I eat sandwiches quite frequently.

Didn't know ponies could eat sandwiches. :P

 

By the way, good job!

Edited August 4, 2015 by Penguin40

[trollface.jpg 538]

Why did a guy who uses Caps most of the time create a topic regarding Spam? :huh:

 

 

 

 

 

AND THANK YOU SO MUCH 

 

 

RIGHT NOW

 

 

 IMPOSSIBILITY there?  Or maybe... IMMATURITY?

 

 

AAARG.

 

 

WHO IS PIKACHU?!

 

 

OMIGOSH,

 

 

 

 

A spammer creating a topic to control spam... 

Edited August 4, 2015 by trollface.jpg

[Bem 521]

Why did a guy who uses Caps most of the time create a topic regarding Spam? :huh:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A spammer creating a topic to control spam... 

lol

[sonofchrysalis3 3,719]

Why did a guy who uses Caps most of the time create a topic regarding Spam? :huh:

Oh, I am so sorry, I forgot that the definition of spamming is "Using Caps Lock in 6 of your 206 posts".

 

Uh, wait, that isn't the definition.

 

According to Wikipedia, the definition of forum spamming is "Excessive multiple posting, that is, the repeated posting of a message (or substantially similar messages).

 

Wow, maybe I actually know what I'm talking about....

[anuclearbomb 220]

Oh, I am so sorry, I forgot that the definition of spamming is "Using Caps Lock in 6 of your 206 posts".

 

Uh, wait, that isn't the definition.

 

According to Wikipedia, the definition of forum spamming is "Excessive multiple posting, that is, the repeated posting of a message (or substantially similar messages).

 

Wow, maybe I actually know what I'm talking about....

no, wikipedia knows what your talking about...

great article, hope to see more from you in say... 23 days? anyway tip of the hat to you.

[sonofchrysalis3 3,719]

Thank you my friend Bomb.