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[Issue 39] The Unemployed Column #1


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A Jobs section was suggested and it is a Job section we shall deliver. Indeed, seems as though it will be made up of quick read pieces as thats all that the employers could afford. Don't forget to stop by every issue to check out what the latest needs are of the communities entrepreneurs. You never know, you just might fit the bill.

 

Assassin

KGB Private Investigation Firm

 

Need sharp shooter that can snipe the socks off of Angus Young from the back of the stadium. Someone who is not afraid to break the Silence and potentially start WWIII at Fort Knox. We need that kind of person. Mankind needs that kind of person. Anyone with “assassin” already in their name is kidding themselves by applying. Yeah you, JeronAssassin, not for you. If you’re wanted by the CIA, you’re also out of the question. Applicants must stand at attention outside of the Kremlin office until we spot you. Good luck.


 

Mosquito Exterminator

Anywhere and Everywhere
 
Must be a trained sniper, ambidextrous and willing to shoot Wasps on sight, regardless of the insect blood spilled. Must also be brought up with a hatred for Railguns. Skill in the art of crowd control and handling conservationists who petition for mosquitoes due to their endangered status is obligatory. Can be posted anywhere, including Sandbox for children's safety, and Iran to protect the warring soldiers from nasty bites. No job security except a citronella-coated paint. MUST be vaccinated against dengue and malaria at own cost.

 

Lumberjack

Within a Kolhoz

 

Skilled axe man needed to clear trees in preparation for new farm land. Must be cooperative and work well with others. You must be able to wear Lumberjack suiting attire, as it would be odd if you didn’t. Bulky Mammoths and Titans would be desired in order to cut and move logs with ease. A well rounded realistic weapon is desired. Don’t bother showing up with Freeze or Firebird…Walk down that long driveway and ask for Paulie B.

 

Cameraman
The Studio
 
Must pay own travel expenses for the sake of customer satisfaction. Should own supreme recording equipment, regardless of experience. You're expected to attend to all tankers' beck and call, including requests for photoshoots. Must not turn down any offer except if you attain the highest rank of 'spectator'. A compulsion is praising the client's initiative to hire you and MUST add snazzy, distracting effects at the main scene of each video. Salary is not expected, and should be satisfied with praise from clients. Any cameraman generating negative feedback will be FIRED. Must have PRO battle pass and experience with all maps.


Which position are you going for?

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Edited by Vikingsrallentando
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mosquito exterminator, cause i am lonely, and need something to eat

and anyone who knows me knows i have more hatred for railguns then ability to find errors in someone's description of shaft(shed, i know you may be reading this)

Edited by anuclearbomb

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Anything and everything that involves sniping. (A.K.A. Assassin and Mosquito exterminator)

My motto when sniping: "Shoot anything that moves that doesn't have your team's colors on it."

 

Do I post my resume here or will i get a PM about job offerings? ;)  :P

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Anything and everything that involves sniping. (A.K.A. Assassin and Mosquito exterminator)

My motto when sniping: "Shoot anything that moves that doesn't have your team's colors on it."

 

Do I post my resume here or will i get a PM about job offerings? ;)  :P

Dang it, this was just for fun.......... but I daresay you could ace the job interview.....

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mosquito exterminator for sure I hate railguns with a passion, shaft is my middle name, I am all about the team practiced sandbox with shaft I upgraded my arcade mode and sniping mode and I will love to be employed love u tanki online

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