[Issue 44] Results/Contest: Help Needed - Occupations for the Unemployed

[MasterSaad1999 7]

Job: Video Engineer

 

Location: Tanki Online Headquarters, Perm, Russia

 

Your job here requires you to be bundled with excessive editing and modification abilities. Being professional in After Effects and Premiere Pro is a must. Hiding silly mistakes of Semyon Kirov (a result of drinking too much vodka) is appreciable. Plus, hiding secret words in invisible places in V-Logs is a talent, required. You will be paid handsome salaries if you try to make V- Logs better at making players delve into them and also you need to be aware of the fact that Tanki Online has the right to kick you from job without any reasonable explanations. Peace out.

 

Word Count: 100

[fighter310 67]

JOB : Librarian
LOCATION: Tanki-Line Library
 
Tired of being called a noob? No worries, this is a fine opportunity to be called a nerd! Your task is to provide reading materials for everyone. You ought to strive for sheer perfection; ensuring Tankers are completing their research for academic purposes, whilst maintaining a peaceful reading environment. Essentially, you are required to demonstrate organizational skills, computer skills, and a basic understanding of how the Library works. Otherwise, may Godmode_ON have mercy on your soul! We genuinely look for bright and passionate individuals adequately capable of managing stress and encouraging noobs to turn their turret. Remember to smile!

Word Count: 99

 

[joe123_Superman 430]

Why does everyone include chicken?

I know, right.

[Quarks 2,255]

I know, right.

Running Newspaper joke.

[canadian_tank 226]

JOB : LibrarianLOCATION: Tanki-Line Library Tired of being called a noob? No worries, this is a fine opportunity to be called a nerd! Your task is to provide reading materials for everyone. You ought to strive for sheer perfection; ensuring Tankers are completing their research for academic purposes, whilst maintaining a peaceful reading environment. Essentially, you are required to demonstrate organizational skills, computer skills, and a basic understanding of how the Library works. Otherwise, may Godmode_ON have mercy on your soul! We genuinely look for bright and passionate individuals adequately capable of managing stress and encouraging noobs to turn their turret. Remember to smile!

Word Count: 99

:( that is indeed my forum job

[Quarks 2,255]

JOB : Librarian

LOCATION: Tanki-Line Library

 

Tired of being called a noob? No worries, this is a fine opportunity to be called a nerd! Your task is to provide reading materials for everyone. You ought to strive for sheer perfection; ensuring Tankers are completing their research for academic purposes, whilst maintaining a peaceful reading environment. Essentially, you are required to demonstrate organizational skills, computer skills, and a basic understanding of how the Library works. Otherwise, may Godmode_ON have mercy on your soul! We genuinely look for bright and passionate individuals adequately capable of managing stress and encouraging noobs to turn their turret. Remember to smile!

 

Word Count: 99

You need satire

[dunes555 368]

 

Video Engineer

The Tank Side of YouTube AND Videomakers, Your Creativity, The Forum

 

Would you like to further separate glorious Tanki from other, uninviting tank games? Simply purchase an editing program, then add ridiculous effects to artificially make videos "better"! Follow @a_bo0dii's example of flashes that beautifully highlight skill or close calls (whilst burning retinas at the same time). You must have a variety of videos, such as epic gold catches, gold fails, golds friends let you take... 

Subscribers will never get bored!

The Unemployed Column is not responsible for any tears and smashed keyboards over being called a noob, tankers laughing at you for not taking every single gold, or blocked accounts. 

 

 

 100 words

Edited December 15, 2015 by dunes555

[benjiblob 99]

BANK TELLER

 

Bank of Berlin

 

  Bank Tellers reinstitute lost currency into circulation via the Bank of Berlin. Most common places to find forgotten crystals: lost temples, with chickens, or in large crates atop Monte Carlo pillars. Redistribution can occur any way you please: granting battles double funds, dropping more impossible golds in Monte Carlo, or funding your own account.   You MUST refrain from dropping golds if “gold admin plz” appears in chat. Failure to cooperate will result in no chicken for you! A Ph.D.in Tanki economics and Tanki physics are also compulsory, exclusively taught at the Madness Academy of Science, Zone 1, Düsseldorf. 

 

 

 

word count: 100, excluding title, location, and this spoiler 

 

 

Edited December 15, 2015 by benjiblob

[Raredust 454]

Job: Music Director

Location: Dusseldorf

 

You want to be a music director? Think again. You will have to lead your men through bitter and treacherous situations. Perhaps in the front lines, thundering the anthem so that it may be heard even over the merciless turrets and eruptions. As both a leader, and a servant, regardless of all circumstances, you must survive together with the melody. No, this is not a position for the weak or cowardly, or the average of this earth. This is a position for a leader, a servant, a warrior... Oh yeah, you also have to know how to play music.

 

Word count - 99

[tuntematon1234567890 23]

Tanki music club

DJ TO

 

I usually start the night by some relaxing gold box sounds from the years of Tanki.When the crowd gets bigger,I throw some TemurGvaradses mindblowing dubstep . When the time  is about 4am, I will play my set and make a remix of the applauses.

 

30+words its hard to count on tablet lol

[daudiii 61]

Librarian

Tanki wiki

Tanki wiki librarian , a fifty nine year old mamonth , keeps sitting at his desk with his unmoveable fat bottom . He is very dedicated to his boring job . All what he has to do is to maintain discipline of library and to provide tankmen with their requested material . His library is fully upgraded . One can find any information about any hull , turret , paint or any circle of tank life . The only reason I found about his interest in this job is this that he gets enough crystals to live his life happily and to meet demands of his young hornets .

( word count : 99 )

[joe123_Superman 430]

Running Newspaper joke.

I know but, soon, it will get boring because everyone is using it, but right now its funny :P

[Vikingsrallentando 3,058]

That is it for this installment! Stay tuned for the results at the end of the week.