[Issue 46] The Adventures of a Nublet: A Compleat Guide to Forum Trolling

[Night-Sisters 2,139]

The Adventures of a Nublet:

A Compleat Guide to Forum Trolling

 

Disclaimer:

 

Alright guys, listen up. Somewhat obviously, trolling is against the Tanki rules and, as such, this article is purely for entertainment purposes. If anything, it should be taken as a satirical anti-trolling message.

 

Also, I'd like to thank the mods who maintain the forum for their continual upkeep and determination to keep the chaos down to a dull rumble, despite all decided efforts to the contrary.

 

 

Greetings. Once more it is I, . Night-Sisters was quite obstinately determined to write an article about the intricacies of deathmatch...Bah! I am sure we can all agree that this subject would make for a sleep-inducing guide, thus I have decided to take matters into my own hands.  

In order to support and further all the various forms of trolling, I now give you a clear, concise, and compleat guide to forum trolls. 

 

 

 

The Basics

 

It is impossible to advance your trolling career without first mastering the basic principles, thus I have arranged an easy-to-read list of the general rules and regulations to be followed.

 

1. Post in annoying font choices, sizes, and colors.  

The general rule of thumb is to make your writing as visually unappealing as possible.

Large chunks of text should be written in Courier New, French Script MT, or perhaps even Wingdings. (Wingdings) 

One should always seek to write in very large or very small letters. PROLIFIC USE OF CAPS LOCK IS ENCOURAGED.  And of course, always remember to use a ridiculously irritating color. Cyan is a personal favorite, though black can quite effective when used in conjunction with a small font size.   

 

2. Syntax is evil. 

A smattering of tense issues is good, though placing all your verbs in the Past Perfect tense (E.G. I had gone) is also commendable. It is a trolling requirement to litter your writings with slang and monosyllabic words, so the more you know, the better. Keep in mind that punctuation must be virtually nonexistent!!!! 

 

3. Speling is immoral. 

Without this tip the guide would be incompleat. 

 

 

Those are the very basics. With that over, the true fun can begin!

 

 

 

Trolling with spoilers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Multi-Posting

 

Why post it once when you can "accidentally" do it twice...or thrice.

 

 

 

Bonus points if you utilize random sentence construction.

 

 

 

 

 

Useless Topics

 

Ah, good ol' off topic discussion. The only place where one can find a host of witty and valuable topics such as:

 

-How to make a sandwich.

-How to pass time in class (Easy way)

-How to be happy (easy way)

-How to make ramen noodles

-How to boil water. 

 

The above examples are, however, mere childsplay in the face of real trolling. The following criteria are presented to aide and abet the tricky process of creating a truly useless topic.

 

1. The topic must be a complete waste of the readers time.

2. The topic must not be humorous

 

It's harder than it sounds...so an example is provided.  

 

 

 

 

False Goodbye Posts

 

Every troll worth his/her salt is always going to have an open "goodbye" topic. For one thing, the topics attract scads of drama, and for another, it leaves the other Forum members in a continual state of hopefulness that this time it's for real. This time, ​the dreadful troll that has been plaguing the servers is actually going to leave.

Of course, that never actually happens, because the best trolls never give up but continue to amuse and trollify the community for all eternity.

But, back to the subject at hand...not all goodbye topics are created equal, so I have prepared a basic one below. It is my hope that readers can implement the principles exhibited in topics of their own. 

 

 

 

 

Conclusion

 

Advice imparted. 'til the next time, this is , signing out. 

Edited January 8, 2016 by Night-Sisters

[KillerGnat 3,135]

The most I've laughed all week. Thank you Night.

[Rohit_1997 456]

Them spoilers

[TheGoldenTanker 4,951]

Forget "Nightey-Whitey" (sorry Phoenix) 

 

Troll-Sisters is your new name from now on :D

[irfaan12 4]

Nice , but i but i opened all the spoilers  ;) (etc.)

Keep up the good work

Waiting for the next issue  :D

[Destrod 2,634]

wow. all those clicks for an *etc*. nuff said. you da real mvp

[r_gigiz0 327]

Lol that spoiler

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Lol that spoiler...

...was to short. :P

---

 

I learned something today: If you breed the species of noobs with hornet, you get a nublet. Or, have no life :lol:

Anyways, nice article :P

Edited January 8, 2016 by Yisroel.Rabin

[Quarks 2,255]

Well, canadarules has yet to return, so the last one is a lie, A troll attempting to troll with a false troll. MEta.

[MandolinMarc 874]

LOL I got to the end of all the spoilers and what I found at the end absolutely made my day: 
 

 

 

(please note beautifully executed use of Cyan text)

Edited January 8, 2016 by MandolinMarc

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

LOL I got to the end of all the spoilers and what I found at the end absolutely made my day: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(please note beautifully executed use of Cyan text)

#HowToQuote.

[lukey0 27,543]

Nice. :LOL:

[LaserShark 2,095]

Hmm, I should make a few goodbye topics, make all those people so happy, and then rip it away the next day by showing up again.

 

 

Stare at this to mess up your vision for a bit.

Edited January 9, 2016 by LaserShark

[iamnoni_PRO 46]

Awesome article.I'd like to try these out but would mods ban me D: Lemme try this once at least :(

[13rilliant 8]

Them spoilers though....

:P

[r_snowleopard0512030 66]

There should be a recorded record (can you even say that??) on tanki on the consecutive number of spoilers someone has posted in a row

[LaserShark 2,095]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 10, 2016 by LaserShark

[WeaponX_3000 67]

lol

[WeaponX_3000 67]

 i cant do the troll thing with spoilers

Edited January 10, 2016 by WeaponX_3000

[LaserShark 2,095]

Jokes on you, the last one was one of the first ones I clicked.

[WeaponX_3000 67]

SO LELELELELELELELLELELELELELELELLOL MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH muhahah

[suhas_best 334]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[LaserShark 2,095]

You know, the quickest way to look in a spoiler chain is to just hit the quote button.

[Link_1119 183]

please dont take this personally

You actually clicked the spolier?

You should know me by now i do this often...

 

Edited January 12, 2016 by Link_1119

[Link_1119 183]