Other [Issue 50] Reporter Profiles

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

So. You know the reporters as they are now - that is, er... reporters. Wielding the pen keyboard with flamboyance worthy of er... reporters.
 
But you have no idea.
 
No idea how they got to this post. No idea about their murky histories. Whatever the interviews with the new reporters told you was a lie. It is time... It is time to reveal the truth.
 
Thank me for the knowledge later.
 

 

 

 

Name : TriNitroToluene

 

Alias : TNT, Tri, Praty

 

Place of Birth : Laboratory of Alfred Nobel

 

Hobbies: Blowing up people, pyromania, explosives and food. Spicy food.

 

History: TNT is well known for those mass terror attacks in Industrial Zone, Noise, Silence and Factory, charring hundreds with mere explosiveness. Not even bothering to bury all his victims, he left their charred corpses strewn across the maps to remind the people who their actual boss is. (Now that you think of it, one of them happens to have died of dehydration. Refer to sonofchrysalis3 for more). Quickly shooting up to the #1 most wanted fugitive in the HackList, TNT was tracked down by the elite protection squad of Tanki, led by First Lieutenant Simon Kirow himself. In a brave fight where TNT brought down two whole skyscrapers with his pyrotechnics, Fen-Harel finally brought this beast down in a one-on-one battle (eyewitnesses actually state that TNT simply let Fen capture him because of his titchy height). However, in prison, TNT started pining for his relatives and started composing poems and reading out epics. Fen, on one of his occasional visits, noticed this talent and let TNT out on parole, offering him a job with the reporter team. TNT jumped at the opportunity, but ungrateful wretch as he is, never forgets to play pranks on his colleagues.

Interesting Facts: TNT' first off-topic 'article' got a pathetic reputation of -43.
 

 
Name : Remaine

 

Alias : Mucus, Nug

 

Place of Birth : ResidueLand

 

Hobbies: Nugging around, minding others' business

 

History: Remaine used to be a professional article critic, putting legendary reporters to shame. Until, that is, he got the audacity to correct a trivial punctuation error made by the legendary @skitee. In the uproar that followed, El Hamster himself released a statement saying "this is the most gross atrocity that Remaine has performed since...... his last criticism." Anyway, at this rebellion, conanthedestroyer dispatched the chief of the TO Police Force FederalBureauFBI to tackle his rising sly-tongue. Clapped in irons, the furious brother of skitee, hogree was ready to end the vendetta by giving him the death penalty; but his wiser elder brother decided to hear him out in an appeal. So passionate it was that everyone broke down. Even the magistrate Issho_Fujitora mitigated his sentence to ten days in Valletta's closet. After 240 long hours, skitee let him out and offered him a job with the reporter squad.

They say Remaine still tears up when he thinks about skit's kindness.

Interesting Facts: They say that Rem met the love of his life in one of his later ventures, if you catch my drift :3

 

 
Name : Contradiction
 

Alias : Contra, PleaseStopCorrectingMe

Place of Birth : The land of corrections

 

Hobbies: Contradicting others, contradicting himself, debating with random people.

 

History: Contradiction was a young juvenile striving to enter the newspaper. Well, he thought the newspaper was a comfortable platform to debate and stymie other people. And so he went around asking for the Newspaper's corporate office. People either didn't know, or told him he didn't have the skills. Angry Contradiction debated with them all, leaving their minds addled. He created what we know as the 'Contradiction syndrome' - pretty obvious, huh? Anyway, in this syndrome, one could not contradict anything said by the Contradictor. And with this road of fury, he marched all the way till El Hamster's fortress and banged down the door. Obviously, he babbled Lhamster silly and got admission :-D And here he i, still contradicting. Old habits die hard.

Interesting Facts: Contradiction's role model is OUFA. It's so secret that even he doesn't know it.

 

 
Name : greyat

 

Alias : Cat; less refined nicknames

 

Place of Birth : Felixland

 

Hobbies: Scratching Curtains

 

History: One of the biggest cat burglars around, greycat stole the press admission papers and frauded his way in. His great rapport with El Hamster ensured he didn't get arrested. Ok.

Interesting Facts: This cat's biggest nemesis is sonofchrysalis3. This is because the latter called Greyat's favourite game Talking Tom 2 "kitty litter" while engrossed in a bonus episode of MLP.

 

 

So there you have it - top secret inside information about four of your favourite reporters. However, be warned : I am not responsible for any retribution that the aforementioned reporters might decide to take up - as a reader, you take up that certain responsibility. Of course, that retribution may be avoided by having a word with conanthedestroyer, who'll put an end to all this quickly. 

But till that happy day, this is TNT. See you in battle!

 

 

Edited November 18, 2017 by Flexoo

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Just sped through, will read with more depth later, but I love it :lol:

 

[EDIT]

Okay, read with more depth, and I still love it, but that interesting fact about you, I was just wondering, is that actually true? :lol:

Edited March 6, 2016 by Yisroel.Rabin

[l.destroy 24]

Nice job  :)  :)  :)

[Maf 32,300]

Name : Remaine

 

Alias : Mucus, Nug

More like:

[r_GaIaxy2 8,611]

Maf has that on point

[lausaj 765]

Nice topic, I thought u will directly give the link to their profile XD

[Bugs.meeny 1,013]

Will you be doing the others next issue?

[Anonono 1,233]

Haha, I sure had a good laugh with this one! :D

[Phoenix.Raised 5,992]

This is great :) Will you make in the future articles for other press members?

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

Ah, the sheer comedic genius. A beautiful article, TNT, beautiful.

[r_MaquinaDeGuerra0 207]

Where is Issho?

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

I'm confused, what is this supposed to mean?

 

PS. you used h-e-double hockey sticks in your personal business card and I'm quite sure that's not allowed.

[r_MaquinaDeGuerra0 207]

Eeeh... Sorry but why you do this, sorry again but i think this is useless

SORRY!

 

I think this is corruption (just my opinion)

 

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

Okay, read with more depth, and I still love it, but that interesting fact about you, I was just wondering, is that actually true? :lol:

Yes, it is. I'll give a link to it, just hold on - just see the comments :lol:

 

Will you be doing the others next issue?

Yes, I will :D

 

This is great :) Will you make in the future articles for other press members?

Absolutely, I'm thrilled by the response.

 

Eeeh... Sorry but why you do this, sorry again but i think this is useless

Just for a bit of fun, you know :) I'll do what I can to improve next issue.

[Podey_the_Buster 87]

Nice one! Hmmm, all ways wondered about those blown up tanks lying around. Now I know the truth.

BTW, don't tell greyat where I live, I like my curtains in one piece. :ph34r: 

 

[r_MaquinaDeGuerra0 207]

Yes, it is. I'll give a link to it, just hold on - just see the comments :lol:

 

Yes, I will :D

 

Absolutely, I'm thrilled by the response.

 

Just for a bit of fun, you know :) I'll do what I can to improve next issue.

Ok ok sorry again :D

 

 

Im a "sorrier" :D

P.S: I like spoilers

Wow you has open all my spoilers

 

 

 

[Hex 11,520]

In DestroyerPdox, Pdox actually stands for Paradox :P The name was actually meant to be I.Destroyer.Of.Paradoxes ;)

 

Awesome stuff... NUG!

Edited March 7, 2016 by Hexed

[yk88 577]

People call me yk. Yeah, I know, my friends are real creative like that.

[I.Devastation 2,053]

Rem actually did meet the love of his life in tanki :x hasn't he told you guys?

[Quarks 2,255]

Rem actually did meet the love of his life in tanki :x hasn't he told you guys?

Yeah, her name is nug. :D

Rem loves being like her.

[BlueDragon_tamki 3,204]

You should make more of these, they're hilarious :lol:

Make more plz! :d :lol: