[Issue 48] Contest: Tanki Mythology

[BossMan_Papa 4]

Once upon a time, in the land of Tanki Online, lived a beast. A beast so powerful that many wept at the thought of it. It was nicknamed 'The Devil' or better known to some as... Godmode_ON. A fearsome Mammoth and Thunder combination, it was the bane of many young tankers. Few saw it and lived to tell the tale. However his reign of terror was about to be broken .

A young tanker by the name of Bossman_Papa was playing in Silence DM. He was a mighty warrior and had  recently been promoted to Marshal. 20 minutes into the game and he was ahead by 10 kills, his M4 Thunder causing some concern to the opposition. Then something on the right side of the screen caught his eye. No it couldn't be! The dreaded Godmode_On! There was a cry of disdain from everyone, literally everyone was getting warnings for flooding! Then Bossman_Papa steeled his nerves; he would fight to the death. First he would make some changes. Mammoth and Thunder were suitable. After all his motto was fight fire with fire.

A dozen quick shots to the flank, another 2 dozen to the rear and it was over. He was victorious. He was a hero.

He was the new Champion.

[Typo 1,299]

I hope HaloScorpion wins. I enjoyed reading his entry.

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

Vulcan: Origins

 

 

    Long ago, the great, mighty, glorious, and wise gods of Olympus sat in conference, arguing discussing who was the favorite amongst tankers, the puny mortals locked in combat. Finally Athena, goddess of wisdom, proposed a contest: They would all create a gift, and the god who created the most popular gift would be named the favorite of all tankers. They all hurried off, each smiling, sure that their gift would be the finest, earning them glory everlasting.

 

    Zeus gathered the essence of lightning and sky, mixing them into a mighty paint - naming it after himself, of course. Venus crafted a beautiful paint, 'In Love', sure its beauty (What beauty?) would attract all tankers. Ares created a paint, 'Mars' - as ugly and brutal as he. Poseidon scooped up some seawater, enchanting it and calling it 'Swash'. Hades collected the riches of the earth, using them for his paint - 'Emerald'. Demeter gathered plants, putting 'Flora' together. Apollo took fire from the sun, making 'Inferno'. Artemis, his twin, found moon dust, inventing 'Moonwalker'. Athena wove a magic cloth, imbuing it with defensive attributes and naming it 'Africa'. Dionysus made a paint using his second favorite tree, Cedar. Grapes don't grow on trees, Dionysus! You should know this, being the god of wine and all... Hera stole some of Zeus' blood (That hurt!) to concoct 'Mary', an imposing ugly paint. But Vulcan toiled in his forge for days, building a new weapon, a mighty turret. He carefully cast each part, and lovingly assembled his heavenly (Literally!) creation. He proudly bestowed his own name upon his gift. He was ready.

 

    The Olympians gathered, ready to present their gifts. Each god summoned one of their loyal followers, using their tank to display their gift. Zeus' follower proudly let Zeus paint his tank (As he should! It was a great paint.), and each tanker stood even straighter as their chosen god approached them and presented their gift. Finally, Vulcan's turn came. He walked towards his favorite tanker, back straighter then it had ever been before (He apparently got some new back braces). As he carefully removed the tank's turret, his follower looked at him, puzzled and nervous. He smiled reassuringly at the tanker, and placed his creation upon the tank. Everyone fell silent. Its might, its glory, and its power were beyond compare! Ares, god of war, practically drooled over the turret's destructive potential. Even Zeus admitted Vulcan's creation was the greatest. Tankers were overjoyed at the sight of the new turret, and Vulcan was proclaimed the God of Tanki, second only to Semyon Kirov.

 

                                                                                                    The End.

 

This story is brought to you by DragonOfStorms. And Zeus, Editor-in-chief!

 

 

Word count: 461, including this and the title.

Edited February 16, 2016 by DragonOfStorms

[Typo 1,299]

Is Vulcan a Greek God? Anyways nice knowledge of Greek mythology.

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

Technically, he is Roman, and so is Venus, but I needed his name to be the Roman form :)

[O.R.D.I.N.A.R.Y 0]

Once upon a time there lived a god in the universe of tanki called Godmode_ON. He ruled the cyber world of Tanki online and watched over all the players in tanki. One day he caught sight of a unique tank. He seemed to be... flying. There was something wrong. He decided that he must go down and investigate this unique tanker. 

The next day he took a trip down to the tank city of "Rio". He landed on the tall skyscraper and watched as all the tankers played and enjoyed. He spotted the unique tanker who's tan had the ability to fly. He suddenly realised that this tank was in disguise and came from the world of "Hackisaurus". These people had the ability to hack tank and the ability to make them fly. He got very mad and decided that a new turret must be created to fight these "Hackisaurs". That was the day when the "Thunder" was created. It had the ability to damage multiple enemies at once from long range. Another paint was created to go along with this gun, and was named "Lord's paint". It was rumoured to have 88% protection against all weapons. 

Godmode_ON thought that this was enough to stop the hackisaurs, but more of them started appearing every week. He got fed up of this and realised he must create an automatically triggered game feature to stop the hackisaurs. he could not do it all alone. This new feature was called "lag". It stopped the game in a specific moment and all tankers were taken into different worlds of their own. They could not communicate with each other or destroy each other. This "lag" continued until the hackisaurs would become extinct, but nobody knows how to actually stop the hackisaurs. Not even Godmode_ON himself. Hackisaurs and lags are known to exist to this date, and the war might go on forever.

Word count: 320 words

[noahjamesjohnso 2]

THE MIGHTY THUNDER

 

Once Upon A Time There Was A Great

Battle Raging.

the mighty Railgun was on a Monte Carlo

but there was a problem

the mighty Railgun

kept getting killed by none other than

THE SHAFT

The Railgun was no longer able to stay in the battle

he moved to a Highland and he was beast

He was troubled though, he didn't want to always

fear the great Shaft

He consulted with the wise XT's and they said that

he should go to the wise Seymon Kirov

He did this and Seymon said to design a new weapon

with the help of the XT's he wound up with a new

weapon

This weapon was to have splash damage and high

damage

and did it ever

Because of the sound it made he called it thunder.

Perhaps it could have been named thunder the great, or almighty thunder,

or even just Almighty Thunder Ruler Of All Big Time Beast Mode.

It was simply called thunder

The thunder was great so he took it to the

Monte Carlo.

He used it on the large group of snipers,

and he was VICTORIOUS.

We love THE MIGHTY THUNDER to this day.

( IT IS STILL BETTER THAN SHAFT ALSO )

To all of the readers out there who like shaft

,admit that a nice and upgraded thunder is still good.

Edited February 17, 2016 by noahjamesjohnso

[StressedTomato 5]

Vulcan: Origins

 

 

    Long ago, the great, mighty, glorious, and wise gods of Olympus sat in conference, arguing discussing who was the favorite amongst tankers, the puny mortals locked in combat. Finally Athena, goddess of wisdom, proposed a contest: They would all create a gift, and the god who created the most popular gift would be named the favorite of all tankers. They all hurried off, each smiling, sure that their gift would be the finest, earning them glory everlasting.

 

    Zeus gathered the essence of lightning and sky, mixing them into a mighty paint - naming it after himself, of course. Venus crafted a beautiful paint, 'In Love', sure its beauty (What beauty?) would attract all tankers. Ares created a paint, 'Mars' - as ugly and brutal as he. Poseidon scooped up some seawater, enchanting it and calling it 'Swash'. Hades collected the riches of the earth, using them for his paint - 'Emerald'. Demeter gathered plants, putting 'Flora' together. Apollo took fire from the sun, making 'Inferno'. Artemis, his twin, found moon dust, inventing 'Moonwalker'. Athena wove a magic cloth, imbuing it with defensive attributes and naming it 'Africa'. Dionysus made a paint using his second favorite tree, Cedar. Grapes don't grow on trees, Dionysus! You should know this, being the god of wine and all... Hera stole some of Zeus' blood (That hurt!) to concoct 'Mary', an imposing ugly paint. But Vulcan toiled in his forge for days, building a new weapon, a mighty turret. He carefully cast each part, and lovingly assembled his heavenly (Literally!) creation. He proudly bestowed his own name upon his gift. He was ready.

 

    The Olympians gathered, ready to present their gifts. Each god summoned one of their loyal followers, using their tank to display their gift. Zeus' follower proudly let Zeus paint his tank (As he should! It was a great paint.), and each tanker stood even straighter as their chosen god approached them and presented their gift. Finally, Vulcan's turn came. He walked towards his favorite tanker, back straighter then it had ever been before (He apparently got some new back braces). As he carefully removed the tank's turret, his follower looked at him, puzzled and nervous. He smiled reassuringly at the tanker, and placed his creation upon the tank. Everyone fell silent. Its might, its glory, and its power were beyond compare! Ares, god of war, practically drooled over the turret's destructive potential. Even Zeus admitted Vulcan's creation was the greatest. Tankers were overjoyed at the sight of the new turret, and Vulcan was proclaimed the God of Tanki, second only to Semyon Kirov.

 

                                                                                                    The End.

 

This story is brought to you by DragonOfStorms. And Zeus, Editor-in-chief!

 

 

Word count: 461, including this and the title.

I really like this one, considering I'm a Percy Jackson fan. Nice job.

[Harry_Potter196 65]

Here is mine: The Creation of Lag

 

       Once in the fair heaven of Madness, the great god Rai L. Gun, looked down on the earth, and was pleased. Over the centuries, however, the clans of tanks began to have more and more disputes over the wealth and power to be had. As Rai watched closer, he realized that much of the issue was over the fabled and prayed-for Goldbox. At fisrt, Rai ignored the fights, thinking that they would die down. However, as time wore on, the conflict grew, and whole clan wars could ensue because of one insult from an outraged tank, who had failed to catch the Goldbox and wield its power.
       After one such incident, the scorned and abused tank, Vul. C. An, appealed to Rai, to help them.
And so, Rai L. Gun, creator of all lesser beings, molded and formed the minor god Lag, to watch over the conflicts, and interfere when nessecary.
       And now, Lag has become inconsistent, and lets random tanks become as dust, until the Goldbox has passed.
That my friends, is how Lag, the god of annoyance, came into being.

Edited February 17, 2016 by Harry_Potter196

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

I really like this one, considering I'm a Percy Jackson fan. Nice job.

Thanks! I loved yours too, especially the humor.

[HaloScorpionV2 438]

I hope HaloScorpion wins. I enjoyed reading his entry.

lol thanks! :D

[NewbieCake 3,067]

Technically, he is Roman, and so is Venus, but I needed his name to be the Roman form :)

Zeus should be changed to Jupiter if you're writing in Roman mythology, Poseidon to Neptune, Dionysus to Bacchus, and Athena to Minerva.

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

Zeus should be changed to Jupiter if you're writing in Roman mythology, Poseidon to Neptune, Dionysus to Bacchus, and Athena to Minerva.

Well, I know, but I needed Zeus' name and Vulcan's name, so I mixed it up :)

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Update 304 - Laggy lags

By Yisroel.Rabin

 

Back when I was a kid, there was no such thing as "lag", saying such a word was like saying "good morning kratroI", it simply wasn't a word. It had no definition.

 

Back then, Tanki was good, you can enter a battle, and there was no little "FPS: 22" thingy, not just because there was no number 22 back then (yea, we went from 21, straight to 23), but because there was no lag. Even if you somehow did have lag, there still wasn't any "FPS: #" to scare you, and when you left a battle, no noob notification telling you that you lag popped up, it was just simple and easy: Joined a battle, had fun, left, went to bed, didn't wake up. It was all good!

Then the day came, they day that'd turn the entire Tanki universe upside-down, the day that would turn light into dark and dark into darker dark, the introduction of the "lag" has occurred!!

I quote, from Mr. Yemnos Virok, the community manager at the time, (but sadly, he got fired and Tanki hired some noob with the same name, just scrambled) in a very strong Russian accent: "Hey-loo tank-meyn, toe-day wee are introducing aye neyw feey-ture i-een the gaey-em, called lay-gs". Translated into English, that's "Hello tankmen, today we are introducing a new feature in the game, called lags."
But it continues... "We noticed people were becoming to pro with their M4 combos, so we had to somehow slow them down or else the game would be unbalanced! So we added a new data code to our servers, 'vars.set lag_mimlag 4-20FPS', we even tested it on our best PC, Windows XP 2001, and it works perfectly! The highest FPS was 19!
We hope you guys will enjoy our 'beginning of the end', believe me, this will make the game a lot more balanced, because the higher your rank, the more lag you get. Which means the low ranks will have newbie M1 combos, but will have very little lag, but the higher ranks, will have M4 combos, but won't be able to shoot straight. See? A lot better now."
 

Everyone in Tanki began to cry, they cried so hard that they wetted their PCs and broke them, to have even MORE lags, it was truly the beginning of the end... It was they day of destruction, they day the famous phrase was invented: "RIP Tanki"

 

But was this really the end? People began to rub their wet eyes, only to get a better look at what Yemnos Virok replied to all the hate comments."Don't worry guys, we're already planning a new update, we haven't decided a name yet, but we think we'll call it 'PING'."
 

With those heartfelt words of Mr. Yemnos Virok, everyone calmed down and played Tanki on. But with the lag, or without the lag, no on even remembered the Tanki without it, because legend has it, that a few days after the update, Dr. Maksim went and erased everyone's memories of the Tanki without lag. But I, Professor Rabin managed to regain my memories via my chrome history, and try and remind you all of the time when there was no lag. Remember tankers, remember.

 

---

 

~ Word count : 530 words

If I can't it's strictly forbidden to have a bit over 500 words, tell me, and I'll make a few edits.

[randomperson123456 17]

Fear Machine

 

Legend has it, that the fear machine was borne on the eighth day of tanki creation.

 

The gods above AlternivaPlatform saw beneath the heavens, and spoketh with the voice of a thousand dictators: 

 

"Behold, for ye shall open up to destruction."

 

And then He placed hundreds upon hundreds of Hunters onto the fields, and watched the battle ensue. The sounds of Smokies and Firebirds filled the air, as tankers were crushed down by each other one by one. Yet He was not pleased.

 

He realized that, as mighty as the weapons seem now in crushing each other, there still is a missing element on the fields. One that doth not involve charging aimlessly at the next tank target; one that, when used with care and skill, will cause the earth to tremble with energy and strike fear deep into the hearts of every tank.

 

He was deep in thought, as the sweet sounds of the battle raged on beneath him. He mulled over design over design, and ultimately came about with a new turret in hand.He said:

 

"Let the Fear Machine Be!"

 

And all was light.

Edited February 17, 2016 by randomperson123456

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

GG guys, the deadline of this contest is reached. All the best to y'all, and stay tuned for the results! ;)