Other [Issue 50] The Adventures of a Nublet: A Comprehensive Guide to Ping Pong

[Night-Sisters 2,139]

The Adventures of a Nublet:

A Comprehensive Guide to Ping Pong

 

Greetings, once again it is I, . Contrary to popular opinion, the occupation of professional trolling is not my sole intellectual pursuit in life. For instance, I also consider myself to be a connoisseur of fine maps; I delight in learning the intricate particulars of the lesser-known oddities Tanki has available. 

 

Ping Pong is perhaps, one of the most underrated maps in the game. Frankly, this is a tragic state of affairs, and as Night-Sisters is terribly busy with familial matters, it seems the perfect time to introduce this unpretentious map to the TO community.

 

Overview

 

 

To the untrained eye, Ping Pong seems like a symmetrical map, and thus is assumed capable of hosting perfectly equitable gameplay. However, once placed under the scrutinizing gaze of a professional map shark, such as myself, it is clearly apparent that the odds are stacked heavily in favor of the Blue team.

 

It seems that, due to a landscaping error, the blue side received an extra bush, providing extra cover. Although this matter may seem small and insignificant, I can assure the readers that blue tenures a noticeable advantage, especially when it comes to matters of sniping and hiding with the flag. 

 

 

Most Effective Combo

 

I am firmly convinced that Shaft/Mammo is the only worthwhile combo to use in Ping Pong. It is extraordinarily effective and makes for gameplay that is scintillating in the extreme. Though this premise is questioned by certain...doubters of sith-affiliation, to the truly enlightened, it is clear that Shaft is by far the best weapon. The bushes provide excellent cover in which to hide your bulk, you can safely guard the flag from afar, and it is nearly impossible to miss a shot.

 

As is clearly obvious, the players featured below are having an incredible time.

 

Defending 

 

A Mammoth trio huddled on the flag is a singularly effective defensive strategy, albeit one that does leave a distinct lack of offensive options. Due to an inability to touch the flag, your enemies will eventually tire of the endless stalemate and leave, allowing the most patient players to sweep up the fund.

 

 

Of course, not everyone has the time or wherewithal to out-wait the opponents. If you find yourself in this strata, fret not! The next best defensive strategy is to lay a thorough layer of mines at both choke points and so prevent your enemies from invading your territory. For the obvious reasons, it is important that both teams lay respective mine traps, lest one or the other gain an advantage. 

 

 

Attacking 

 

Attacking in Ping Pong is a real bother, and should be avoided if at all possible. However, if you feel you must, I advise avoiding using the typical routes. It is an extremely predictable move, and extremely easy to defend against.

 

 

Instead, you must train your little tanker brain to think...wait for it... outside the box!!!11!!11!!!1! 

 

To outwit opponents in Ping Pong you must be sly;

 

devious

 

cunning

 

deceitful

 

Rather then go through the tortuously predictable bother of traveling around the fence, take a lesson from that proverbial flying crow and use the shortest route to the flag.

This is a fairly complex and revolutionary concept to grasp: thus, to adequately further your enlightenment, I shall provide a diagram.

 

 

Conclusion

 

I,  cannot be held responsible if my readers find the above article lacking in any way, shape, or form. Please refrain from posting pessimistic and depressing remarks below, as it is offensive to my delicate sensibilities. However, you are more than welcome to direct any objections to the PM of Ms. Night-Sisters, as she will be quite happy to field any and all complaints. 

 

'til the next time, this is  signing out. 

 

Edited November 18, 2017 by Flexoo

[omrot 2,327]

The sarcasm in this post is hilarious. I'll try to use Mammoth Shaft next time I play on Ping-Pong :P

 

Good Job, The_nublet

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

 

 

 

In the first spoiler, you'll find a simple photo, which is mysteriously linked to an image upload site thing.

 

In the second spoiler, was all me! I was the nublet that waited while you took pics, and when I lost patients I decided to climb fences :P

 

---

 

Nice article!

Edited March 6, 2016 by Yisroel.Rabin

[PWNER101 28]

I don't think you linked the images properly.

[TheGoldenTanker 4,951]

You are just as sarcastic in your articles as you are on Skype xD

 

But great and amusing article though :)

 

Keep up the good job Sis :D

[Anonono 1,233]

SARCASM DETECTED

[Night-Sisters 2,139]

You are just as sarcastic in your articles as you are on Skype xD

 

Bad habit of mine.  :ph34r:

Edited March 6, 2016 by Night-Sisters
I can't help it, k

[Palm-Face 378]

Lol :D

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

Hahaha! Great read, made me chuckle.

[Hex 11,520]

You've done it again Sis; awesomeness overloaded.

[Bugs.meeny 1,013]

NS you are the one fighting in the spring showdown! WOW good luck ill pick your paint!

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

Great on soooo many levels  :D

[DarthMaul667 18]

Beautiful synchronization of brilliant tactics and superb hiding spots. Brilliant. I'm still clapping.

[personia 4,036]

Pro. 

[Podey_the_Buster 87]

Nice! Not having Mammoth I'll try titan. And I'll make sure I play on the blue side, time to scoop in some easy wins! :P

[fordmustang12345 3,910]

I get the sarcasm of the "best equipment" but tbh rico+viking works best. Anyway nice artical

[RRMI 210]

Well written and really amusing! :D

The article was great throughout my reading!

[iamnoni_PRO 46]

Please help me I always get stuck in the hole.How to get out? I mean it's not that deep but it's hard for me to get out.It just gets stuck

[DESTOYER296 19]

Please help me I always get stuck in the hole.How to get out? I mean it's not that deep but it's hard for me to get out.It just gets stuck

You need a better hornet/wasp, it must have more power.

[suhas_best 334]

Hehe nice sarcasm! But not a worthwhile article for a stupid who sees it straightforwardly. xD :D

 

PS: In so many places I get the 20th post :D

Edited March 11, 2016 by suhas_best

[Dragonwolf049 0]

Made me laugh for 5 mins straight!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[Shellfire_tanki 1,820]

Brilliant, as usual :)

[VaudeVille 1,428]

NS you are the one fighting in the spring showdown! WOW good luck ill pick your paint!

Russians won and I bought the Russian paint :P :lol:

[Cor7y 13,862]

Hello, Miss nublet.

You have dared to use sarcasm without my permission. Hide this topic immediately or face my wrath! :angry: :angry:

[fordmustang12345 3,910]

^^ sarcasm detected