Illuminati Confirmed

[Tap_Dancer 1,360]

Did you know tanki is the Illuminati? There has been rumors about this and finally, tankers that are scientists have taken some time to prove it!

Semyon Kirov

Semyon Kirov was the community manager
Being the community manager was his job
Both men and women can have this job
Semyon is a man
Man rhymes with ban
Semyon cannot ban you because he is not a moderator
Ostrica can make you a chat moderator
Ostrica is an admin....
But wait. Is she an ostrich?
Shar0n is also an admin
Shar0n is not an animal
Ostriches are animals
Animals rhymes with cannibals
Cannibals can eat human legs
Chicken legs are edible
Chickens have two legs
Semyon has two legs
Ostriches also have 2 legs
Ostriches have 2 toes on each foot
Semyon has 2 eyes
Semyon wears glasses...
So does that make him four eyes?
Chickens have four toes
Emus have 3 toes
4 + 4 = 8
2 + 2 = 4
8 + 4 = 12
12 - 3 = 9
The square root of 9 is 3
Semyon has 4 eyes
4 - 3 = 1
The illuminati has 1 eye
Semyon Kirov = Illuminati Confirmed

Gold Box

Gold boxes fall from the sky
Birds fly in the sky
Birds rhymes with herds
Elephants come in herds
Elephants can't take golds
Elephants make a lot of noise
The sound an elephant makes is trumpeting
Sound rhymes with ground
The first letter of ground is 'G'
The second letter is 'R'
Rock begins with 'R'
Gold begins with 'G'
Rock comes from different sources
Gold isn't a rock
Rock is a paint
Elephants are grey
Rocks are grey
But is the rock paint grey?
Stones are also grey
Stones rhymes with bones
Humans have 206 bones
Chicken legs have bones
You eat the meat, not the bones
Meat rhymes with feet
Feet is part of your legs
Humans have 2 legs
Dogs with an amputated leg have 3
Zebras have 4 legs
Safari is a zebra paint
Eternity has skulls
Humans and dogs have skulls
Roger also has skulls
Roger is associated with soldiers
A legion of soldiers contains 6000 men
The first 2 numbers of 6000 is 60
1/10 of 60 is 6
1/2 of 6 is 3
There are 3 sides on a triangle
The illuminati has 3 sides
Gold Box = Illuminati Confirmed

Polygon

A polygon is a shape
Polygon is also a map
Polygon rhymes with bon bon
Bon bons are sweets
Sweets contain sugar
Sugar causes tooth decay
Sugar also causes diabetes
The symptoms of diabetes includes getting thirsty
You drink water if you're thirsty
Water is a drink
Drink rhymes with pink
Sakura has pink
Sakura is a paint
Paints give you protection
Protection makes you stronger
Stronger rhymes with longer
Giraffes have long necks
Giraffes also have long tongues
Giraffes clean their ears with their tongues
You use your tongue to talk
You use your legs to walk
Giraffes have long legs
Dogs have small legs
Dogs have 4 paws
Giraffes have 4 legs
4 + 4 = 8
You can have 8 players per team in Polygon
There are 2 teams
Red and blue
Red and blue are colours
'Colours' has 7 letters
An envelope can hold 1 letter
The illuminati has 1 eye
Polygon = Illuminati Confirmed

Railgun

Railgun is a turret
Turrets are mounted on hulls
Hulls make your tank move
Tank rhymes with spank
Naughty children get spanked
Children are under 18
Under 18s can't smoke
Smoke is bad for your lungs
Smoking is also bad for your heart
Too much tanki is bad for you
Gold boxes can make your heart pound...But wait
Can golds give you heart attacks?
Does this mean gold boxes are bad for your heart?
Heart attacks are caused by blocked coronary arteries
Arteries are blood vessels
Vessel rhymes with wrestle
You fight, not wrestle, on the battlefield
But can tanks wrestle?
Wrestlers are famous
Tanki is a famous game
The Game is a contest
You entered 5 keywords in the previous 'The Game'
There are 4 letters in game
5 + 4 = 9
The square root of 9 is 3
There are three sides on a triangle
The illuminati has three sides
Railgun = Illuminati Confirmed

Wasp

Wasp is a hull
Wasps are also insects
Insects have 6 legs
Insects have small legs
Nuts have no legs
Nuts are small
Nuts is food
Food rhymes with dude
A dude is not a female
The opposite to female is male
Mailmen deliver mail
Mailmen don't deliver emails
That's because emails are 'electronic'
But can vans can be powered by electricity?
Mailmen can deliver mail in vans
Vans are heavy
Mammoth is also heavy
Mammoths are heavy animals
Wasps are light insects
If we combine them together do they go under the category 'creatures'?
Creatures rhymes with features
The first 4 letters of features is FEAT
Humans have 2 feet
There are 5 toes on each foot
5 - 2 = 3
There are 3 sides on a triangle
The illuminati has 3 sides
Wasp = Illuminati Confirmed

Holiday

Holiday is a paint
A holiday is a vacation
Vacation rhymes with station
Cars get petrol from a petrol station
Station is a map...
So do that mean tanks get their 'fuel' from station?
Organisms need 'fuel' to survive
Fuel is food or drinks
Water is a drink
A wet sink has water
So what does a dry sink have?
That's right! Dry sink has 7 letters
There are 7 letters in 'letters'
So would that mean 7 'letters' has 49 letters....
Did you see that? Take a look again!
There are 7 letters in 'letters'
So 7 postcards has 49 'letters'
But there is (usually) 1 letter in an envelope
And there is 8 'letters' in envelope
Envelope rhymes with scope
Scope is a map
Telescope has 9 letters
Tele has 4 letters
Scope has 5 letters
5 + 4 = 9
9 + 8 = 17
17 + 9 = 26
Half of 26 is 13
The first number in 13 is 1
The 2nd number is 3
The illuminati has 1 eye and 3 sides
Holiday = Illuminati Confirmed

Repair Kit

Repair kit is a supply
Supplies are also called drugs
Medicine is a drug
Cocaine is also a drug
Cocaine rhymes with pain
You can take medicine to reduce pain
But can you experience pain by taking medicine?
Doctors have a degree in medicine
A doctor is a job
You earn money from a job
Money doesn't grow on trees
Apples grow on trees
Did you see that? Yes you are right...
Having your own apple tree costs money
Wood comes from trees
Paper is made out of wood
Money is made out of paper
Paper is produced in a factory
Factory is a map
If real crystals are produced in a factory...
Do crystals come from factory?
Crystals are valuable
Valuable has 8 letters
Factory has 7 letters
Crystals has 8 letters
8 + 7 = 15
15 + 8 = 23
2 + 3 = 5
'Maps' has 4 letters
5 - 4 = 1
The illuminati has 1 eye
Repair kit = Illuminati Confirmed

Lhamster

Lhamster is the reporter administrator
Hamsters run on wheels
Lhamster runs on a wheel
Running is exercise
Exercise rhymes with size
Hamsters are small
A hamster's trousers size is small
Hamsters don't wear trousers
Trousers are for protection
Shields give you protection
Protection rhymes with convection
Convection is used by an oven
An oven cooks food
You eat food to stay alive
You drink water to prevent dehydration
Drinking water is good for you
Water contains fluoride
Fluoride keeps your teeth strong
You eat food with you teeth
You brush your teeth with a toothbrush
You use toothpaste on a toothbrush
Toothpaste gets applied to your teeth
Toothpaste makes your teeth white
Milk is white
Milk contains calcium
Calcium is good for your teeth
If cows produce milk which contains calcium.....
Does that mean eating cows will add to your calcium intake?
Intake has 6 letters
Cows had 4 letters
6 - 4 = 2
Calcium has 7 letters
7 + 2 = 9
Intake, calcium and cows are 3 words
9 ÷ 3 = 3
The illuminati has 3 sides
Lhamster = Illuminati Confirmed

Flooding

Flood has more than 1 meaning
Flood is related to water
Flood means to spam
'Spam' backwards is maps
A map has coordinates
You study coordinates in geography
Geography is a subject
You do subjects in school
School is for education
Subject has 7 letters
Educate has 7 letters
7 + 7 = 14 letters
14 letters requires 14 envelopes
You send letters on the 14th of February
But is 14 letters enough on Valentines Day?
'Valentines Day' are 2 separate words
So its not 'Valentinesday' but........
Valentine has 9 letters
'Valentinesday' is 1 word
9 - 1 = 8
Flooding has 8 letters
Water 80 cm above ground level is considered as a flood
The smallest men in the world are around 80 cm
80 cm is small.....
But is 80 men a lot?
If this statement is true does that prove that 'men' is officially a unit?
Mass
?
Newtons
Mass is the weight of an object
Isacc Newton is well known for 'Newtons'
When he discovered gravity he was with a tree
An apple fell from the tree
So that means there was Issac, the apple and the tree
Assuming the apple weighed 100 grams
The apple fell on his head
If it knocked him out there would be 2 left - the tree and the apple
2 + 100 = 102
The first digit of 102 is 1
The last digit is 2
2 + 1 = 3
The illuminati has 3 sides
Flooding = Illuminati Confirmed

Flags

There are 2 different flags
They are red and blue
Red is a colour
Blue is also a colour
Red + blue = purple
Does that mean there is 3 flags?
The helper paint is purple
A helper is in the staff
Staff can earn crystals
Capturing flags will earn you crystals
To capture a flag you need 2 beat your enemies
Flog is a synonym for beat
Flog spelled backwards is golf
Golf is a sport
You play some sports on grass
Cows stay on grass
A calf is a baby cow
What happens if you cross golf with a calf?
That's right......'galf'
'Galf' spelled backwards is flag
Flag has 4 letters
Flags has 5 letters
4 + 5 = 9
The square root of 9 is 3
The illuminati has 3 sides
Flags = Illuminati Confirmed

Bans

Bans are given if you break the rules
You agree to the rules when you sign up
When you sign up you choose a nickname
You choose the letters and numbers in your nickname
Your real name can't have numbers
You can count how many letters are in your name
Counting involves the use of numerals
Numerals rhymes with funerals
A funeral is arranged when someone dies
But does your tank have a funeral when it dies?
If this statement is true, where do all the coffins come from?
The first 4 letters in coffin is 'coff'
There is not much air in a coffin
Does that mean you cough in a coffin?
You cough if you are sick
You also cough to clear your throat
When you drink coffee it goes down your throat
'Coff'ee, 'Coff'in
Is there a pattern here?
Yes you are right, they both contain vowels
There are 5 vowels
The rest are consanants
Consanants has 10 letters
10 + 5 = 15
The last digit of 15 is 5
The first digit is 1
5 - 1 = 4
Half of 4 is 2
Half of 2 is 1
The illuminati has 1 eye
Bans = Illuminati Confirmed

Starladder

Starladder is a compound
'Com' is short for computer
A computer can be measured in pounds
Pounds is a currency
There are different currencies for money
You purchase goods with money
You can't live without money
You cant live without water
You can't live without food
Food has 4 letters
Star has 4 letters
You can see stars in the sky
You can't climb to the sky
Even if you could you can't reach the stars
The stars are in outer space
How do you reach outer space?
If stars come from space...
And you use a ladder to climb
What if we combined these 2
And establish a magic element called Starladder
You can't use a starladder to leave planet earth because....
A starladder isn't actually a ladder
Ladder rhymes with bladder
What if your bladder can't 'hold it' and you are stuck on a ladder?
You stand on a ladder
Lying down and you can 'hold it' longer
But how do you lie down on a ladder?
Use the ladder to jump on a tree
Lie down on a tree
If you are 2 heavy you can break the tree
You can't break a ladder with only your hands
Ladders are hard
Hard has 4 letters
The 3rd letter in 'hard' is r
Take out 'r' and your new word is 'had'
Had has 3 letters
The illuminati has 3 sides
Starladder = Illuminati Confirmed

Premium Account

Premium account are 2 words
Premium gives you more than 2 features
Features rhymes with creatures
Animals are creatures
But are insects animals?
Insects have 6 legs
Spiders have 8 legs
Spiders are not insects
Insects are small
Spiders are also small
If a spider isn't an insect then what are they?
Yes, that's right...
They are organisms
Earth is full of organisms
Earth is a planet
The sun is not a planet
Planets are in the solar system
The solar system is in the milky way
Milkyway is a chocolate
The galaxy has stars
Chocolate stars, milkyway....
Is there a trend here?
Yes, you are right....
They both contain milk
Cows produce milk
But what do they drink?
Milk, why?
Calfs drink milk
Calfs are baby cows
Cow has 3 letters
The illuminati has 3 sides
Premium Account = Illuminati Confirmed

Karma

Karma is your ban history
You can play in battles if you are chat banned
Battles are played in different maps
Karma rhymes with parma
Parma is a common XP/BP map
Parma has 5 letters
Karma also has 5 letters
5 + 5 = 10
Dusseldorf has 10 letters
Dusseldorf is a map
A map is a diagram
This diagram shows directions
One Direction is a band
One Direction are noobs
Noobs rhymes with cubes
The last 2 letters in 'cubes' is 'es'
Without these 2 letters we form a new word
Yes you are right, add an 'a' and it's Cuba
Cuba is a country
The capital of Cuba is Havana
Did you see that?
Yes, you are right.....
Havana rhymes with Savanna
Savanna is a paint
It's a paint used in XP/BP
XP/BP is played on parma
Parma rhymes with karma
Karma has 5 letters
Half of 5 is 2.5
2 + 5 = 7
XP/BP has 4 letters
7 - 4 = 3
The illuminati has 3 sides
Karma = Illuminati Confirmed

That's 14 theories to prove tanki is the illuminati.

Edited May 2, 2016 by GoldRock
Spoilers added

[GoldRock 6,165]

Approved by ze 100minati1!!21

Edited May 4, 2016 by greyat

[Darren4Turbo 4,913]

In the end, you're the real illuminati. BA-DUM-TSHH.  :ph34r:

[BlueDragon_tamki 3,204]

^:lol: XD lel

You forgot about Tanki X

[RK143 60]

Bird fault xd

[SUP3R_ST4R 1,205]

BirdKnights

 

 

Letter B has 2 holes so multiply by 15

there we go we got 30

Bird ate 0

so 3

Triangle has 3 sides

The illuminati has 3 sides

BirdKnights = Illuminati Confirmed

 

Nice :)

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

CM Cedric Debono

 

Cedrico Debono has 5 vowels in it.

5 x 5 = 25

25 is the name of Adele's album.

Adele has 3 vowels in it.

3 lines make up a triangle.

AND If you turn an equilateral triangle on its side you have the same image.

So to by a circle.

Circles are round.

Like an eyeball,

and Bottle caps.

A circle has 360º in it

Add 3 + 6 + 0 = 9
The fact #9 on Snapple caps is "The average speed of housefly is 4.5/mph."

4.5 x 9 = 30.6

Unscramble that and take away the dot and you get 360 again.

Now times 3 x 6 to get to get 18

Snapple fact #18 is "A jellyfish is approximately 95% water."

At the 2 numbers together (4.5 and 18) to get 22.5

22.5 x 2 = 45

 

Cedric's age is currently 38.

Snapple fact #38 is "Fish cough"
Humans cough
...

 

Forget it, let's go simple.

Cedric is a CM.

CM can stand for Cat Mutant.

Cat mutants aren't human,

they are mutants,

mutants are creepy,

Illuminati is creepy.

Cedric is creepy,

Cedric is illuminati confirmed.

[Tap_Dancer 1,360]

How is Cedric creepy? :huh:

[noely01 149]

wow my mind is blown, we must tell the world of tanki the truth! :)

[blackflag444 256]

found 3 loopholes in the gold one:

1. how'd u get eternity?

2. how'd u get 1/10??

3. how'd u get 1/2???

gotta have a way to find everything in illuminati theories  ;)  ;) 

[arnav0506 2,777]

Good article.

[Penguin40 1,714]

found 3 loopholes in the gold one:

1. how'd u get eternity?

2. how'd u get 1/10??

3. how'd u get 1/2???

gotta have a way to find everything in illuminati theories  ;)  ;)

Actually, only the first one is an actual loophole. The rest are possible. 

 

Btw, I do not believe in the illuminati ok, so you can't scare me, everyone who supports them :P

[asifmehmood 1,576]

Awesomeeeeeeeeee

[Jwimmer 2,835]

found 3 loopholes in the gold one:

1. how'd u get eternity?

2. how'd u get 1/10??

3. how'd u get 1/2???

gotta have a way to find everything in illuminati theories  ;)  ;)

Actually, only the first one is an actual loophole. The rest are possible. 

 

Btw, I do not believe in the illuminati ok, so you can't scare me, everyone who supports them :P

He went from zebra (a paint) to eternity (the rare paint available to Premiums last halloweeen). The eternity paint has skulls and stuff on it, thus the next step.

[joe123_Superman 430]

Kids play the game too u know

[noaches232 28]

omg i was dying when i read this

[Nullf0x 34]

What? I'm mind blowed.

[Naughtyface2 149]

This must of taken you ages to write

[Mr.Ace 1,116]

Hmmmmmmm , didnt even read it all.....

[r_Tellurium1 9]

Everything is illuminati and also.. tl'dr