WOH: The Warrant Officer Hideouts (Parts 1 & 2)

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

WOH: The Warrant Officer Hideouts (Part 1)

(Where they Are and What to Do There)

 

As a Warrant Officer 5, I happen to have extensive knowledge about where the squad likes to hang after battle. So now it’s time to sit back, say WOH, and let me show you the hotspots!

 

Rio

Let’s start strong with the rugged streets of Rio, Brazil. This is easily among the most popular locations for the Warrants, where they parkour and climb up to the rooftops to shoot up fireworks and to watch the stars. My personal favorite place, a nook occupied by many of the more experienced officers, is a small bar in the alleyway off Calle Mayor. They posses quite high quality margaritas, although many prefer a nice strong Cachaca, as it is arguably their best drink in house. The really daring users climb up the skyscraper via questionably obtained gear, and assuming they disarm the security, can look into the top floor windows without dying. I once took an illegal undercover jaunt up to the top. :P  There were racks and racks full of paint cans, although I can’t think of who would need to protect those so badly.

 

Kungur

Here’s the typical town of the group. Not nearly as many battles are held here, mostly out of respect for all the Tankers who live around there and prefer to not be having their houses demolished by tanks who can’t drive backwards well. I personally own one of the little cabins, and rent it off to other vacationing Tankers when it's not Hunter season. Believe me, you don’t want to see Kungur during Hunter season, Hammers are flying and Snipers lurk in every single bush, trying to snipe dumb things like Hornets rather than deer. Too many stinging bugs in Kungur is really my only complaint, the housing accommodations are quite pleasant. There isn’t exactly much to do in the neighborhood though, most Warrant Officers prefer to have fun elsewhere.

 

Polygon

Nobody knows quite what goes on in this warehouse and building complex, but everyone likes to explore the shelter compound. The alleyways are filled with rubble where one may find spare tank sections from war, which makes it a favorite of the scavengers. Assorted containers of unknown materials rest around the center, possibly RioCorp paints, but the labels are too worn to read. There are some strange warehouses there, one is suspiciously large and has a sign reading “GodMode_ON’s Garage, do not enter”. I have no idea what could possibly be in there, and most people just assume it's some kind of joke. ^_^  Many tankers, including myself, go around the law and work on making graffiti upon the giant wall and other shacks. No one really knows why the concrete wall section is there, but the most recent theory I have heard is that Semyon put it there to guard his house, but then decided to swap locations. The world may never know all the mysteries of the Polygon map, and that is why the Warrant Officers love to go there for leisure.

 

(Stay tuned for another episode..... possibly :P )

 

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WOH: The Warrant Officer Hideouts (Part 2)

(Where they Are and What to Do There)

 

As a Warrant Officer 5, I happen to have a library of knowledge about the chill spots for the Warrants. As I am soon leaving the ranks of the Square-Badges, I feel the need to impart this knowledge upon everyone so they too can say WOH and appreciate the culture of the Warrant Officers. Enjoy!

 

Noise

Noise is an oddity of the world that appeared overnight. The actual creator is uncertain, but the most common conspiracies are it was either aliens who produced the pit, government officials making a prototype section of Area 51, or that the Illuminati did it so that they could admire all the triangles the ramps form. I must say I wholeheartedly agree with them on the beauty of three-sided polygons. Speaking of quality things, a quite  pleasant little gift shop rests upon the top of the structure. The best part about it is that Blue team Officers can nab souvenirs to show that they made it into the Red team base, even if they don’t make it out with the flag! An excellent gift idea for family and friends! The ramps are kinda greasy from ill-maintained tanks driving all over them, which allows enjoyable sledding for the Warrant Officers in the winter. Fun Fact: The reason Hornet and Hunter slide around so much is that the grease from the ramps sticks excellently to their treads, more so than with other hulls! Now we’ve all learned something today.  ^_^ 

 

Island

Isolated hideaways happen to be an excellent place to get a suntan, and Island is the best resident tanning station around.  This little oasis is the home of Two Tank’s WOnton Shop, with a lounge right across the street! Of course, in island everything is across the street from each other. The food is decent at the restaurant, and the lounge has the comfiest couches you will ever find. I highly recommend visiting this exotic destination with some Officer friends as you will all have a simply dazzling day! Obviously the glaring sun does dazzle people quite often, usually too much, hence the presence a medical treatment center in the basement of the lounge. MLG Sunglasses are advised for your own safety, the more pixelated the better. Overall, I would rate it as the best Island that you can visit in Tanki, as it is better than all the hypothetical other ones that may or may not be real.

 

Sandbox

Ah, the good ‘ole Sandbox. I mean, who doesn’t like to play in a Sandbox!  Even the oldest players can’t help but feel joy when they see the dust and grit flying through the air as Tankers play with Bulldozer kits in the park. But there is one thing that is coveted more than anything else on this map‒ buried and flying treasure. The buried treasure is obviously from the ground, uncovered by the wearing away from roaring tanks, the smashing on it by Hammers, and the previously mentioned Bulldozers roaming about. The flying treasure is from adjacent Sandboxes where other children are playing, and when one of them gets too excited, the box goes flying into the stratosphere. Fortunately the people who hid the loot conveniently gave it a parachute that initiates as it fell. This is what is now known as Gold Boxes, which always seem slightly more common in Sandboxes. Besides this main lure and the privilege of playing in the dirt, you can also just take a wee in one of the outhouses along the rim of the map behind the wall. They are well hidden, as no tanker likes the smell or sight , but I assure you that they will always be there when you need it most. Overall Sandbox is quite the nifty place to spend an afternoon, and all it takes is some gear and a touch of imagination!

 

 

Originally I was going to make this a trilogy, and also describe some really cool maps like Silence that show up every so often in the Warrant Officer Ranks. Sadly for me, I got slow on the image editing. In the time it took to finally get motivated to do the image editing,  I've almost ranked up. So this is the  last one of these, and then onward to other things!  :D 

 

It was quite enjoyable taking all the pictures for these, and I have made it a goal to take pics of the game myself for the articles rather than relying on other's images.

Edited May 13, 2016 by Blackdrakon30
Images sorted!

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

Very funny, I snickered several times as I read this. Looking forward to the (possible) next installment!

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

This would do well in an episode of The Dictator; I could relate to most of this stuff. Well done! :lol:

[Zenyth 6,494]

now that was enjoyable :lol:

[GoldRock 6,165]

Topic updated with the 2nd and final part!

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

Topic updated with the 2nd and final part!

Thanks!

 

EDIT: Wow the rankup is real.

Edited May 13, 2016 by Blackdrakon30

[Lethal_Injection 586]

Nice writing drakon, keep at it

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

How about you make a Lieutenant Hangouts section instead of quitting this series altogether.

[railguniz4noobz 2,394]

Seems about right, good thing ive gotten out of there. :P

[fordmustang12345 3,910]

You forgot Monte Carlo! How could you forget the mounds of Monte Carlo CTFs in EN4!!

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

How about you make a Lieutenant Hangouts section instead of quitting this series altogether.

:P  Perhaps when get to First Lieutenant

 

You forgot Monte Carlo! How could you forget the mounds of Monte Carlo CTFs in EN4!!

So true, but I can only fit 3 per review for the sake of article length and engagement.  ^_^

[III_Dope_III 319]

Ahhhh I was Recruit a few weeks ago.