The Ultimate Guide to Quitting Tanki

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

 

Are you bored of Tanki Online? Are you tired of all the lags? Have you been thinking of quitting Tanki Online for good?! Well then, you've come to the right place. Welcome to the ultimate guide to quitting Tanki Online!

 

Before quitting Tanki, you must go through all the steps to make sure you're one hundred percent ready to officially remove the game from your life forever. So, if you're certain you're ready, let me tell you something, you're not, trust me. How do I know? Well, put it this way: No human being is ever one hundred percent ready to quit Tanki. Why? Scientists don't know yet, although they're working hard to figure it out, there currently is no explanation.

 

So, you may be thinking, "So how do I quit Tanki if I'm not ready?" Well, there's a simple answer, quit without quitting. The way that works is not so simple; scientists have discovered that if you want to truly quit Tanki, you must first go through certain steps until you eventually fully quit. In other words, you're going to have to go through a long process before actually quitting.

 

That said, here are the 4 steps to quitting Tanki Online forever!

 

(1) Thinking of quitting

See, you need attention when you leave TO, but how on earth are you meant to get the attention you desperately need if you aren't around to receive it? Thus, you need to tell your closest friends on Tanki (and maybe even some strangers that don't care at all) that "you're thinking of maybe leaving but maybe you might not quit." It's really effective, but only if you keep repeating it, and reminding everyone that you're thinking about it, because if you just tell them once they may just think you were in a somewhat bad state and you just were feeling low, but if you tell them again and again they'll know something's up.

 

Here's a perfect example of how this step should be performed probably. Remember, it's got to be extremely dramatic!

Thanks Night-Sisters for going along with it, and "totally not" changing this prepared script around 6 times.

 

All you gotta do is keep repeating that exact same chat shown above about 3 times to every friend and around 30 times in the main chat to everyone (times depends on how long you're considering quitting; about 10 times every 3 days, that's 501 times if you're considering quitting for 167 days).

 

 

(2) Officially deciding

After what could be years of thinking, you finally decide to quit Tanki! But that doesn't finish there, before you leave, there are a ton more steps to do, one of which is actually officially deciding to quit. How's that even a complicated step? Well, here's how.

 

See, one does not simply decide to quit Tanki, but rather one must show the very moment he decided to quit to everyone in the whole wide Tankiverse, but all those must be individual, private, and safe, for no reason at all. In other words, you must re-enact the moment of your final decision to everyone individually in a private battle.

 

Here's how it should end up looking:

And yes, this is a perfectly real pic from the future ice age.

 

And all you gotta do is repeat that to all of your friends, just like you did with the last step, approximately 2 years ago.

Don't forget to also have the conversation with strangers too.

 

 

(3) Announcing your departure publicly

Now, around a week after you're done telling everyone in the game you've decided to quit, it's finally time to make your very own quitting topic!!!1! How exciting!

 

​But remember, I know all those very successful quitting topics look easy to write, but it truly isn't - those legendary topics are the key to your departure, it's the cherry on the cake! You have to get this step right, or else everything you've done so far is a total fail. But have no worries, because I'm here to tell you how to quit Tanki like a pro, and that includes making your own quitting topic! So here's your cherry for your cake!

 

First of all, you're gonna have a snazzy introduction, to let everyone know you're quitting (because they totally didn't get it from the title "I'm quitting Tanki FOREVER!!1!").
The intro has got to be original, and what better way to be original than being totally unoriginal (by using Comic Sans and bright colour)! So what you're gonna do is think of some snazzy intro that also intrigues the reader to read further and... you know what, let me just show you a perfect example:

 

Secondly, you're going to have to think of an extremely dramatic reason for why you're quitting. Here's a few examples; you can be quitting Tanki because of... bad grades, not enough socializing, bored of game, found a new game, girlfriend (pft, as if you have one). Anything is good!
Once you've done that, you're gonna wanna make it overly dramatic. For example, if your reason is 'bored of game', this is what you're texts should somewhat look like:

 

Thirdly, you may want to add on some history of you in the game, to show you totally aren't some noob and have been playing for at least four and a half weeks now. Also add on that you've had friends who kept you up and everything like that. It really makes everyone think you truly are the star of the game who's about to disappear from the night sky.

Here's what that should look like:

 

Fourth, you're going to have to show you were truly someone special. I know you proved yourself 'not a noob', but that isn't good enough, you have to show everyone you were friends with the most important people in the game – like those people with MOP paint, or even the ones with Ruby!

You don't just mention them though, you have to respect them, tell everyone you'll miss these people the most, even if they have no idea who on earth you are. You're also going to have to say why you're gonna miss them, make sure everyone knows that they are important people, because if no one knows they're important people, what's the point if even being friends with them (or pretending to be friends with them, anyways).
If you do this one correctly, you could possibly end up with something amazing as this:

 

And finally, you're gonna have to make a nice leaving message, one that shows even though you just mentioned your best friends, you're really gonna miss everyone in the game, and that everyone is a friend (whether they have an avatar or not, but preferably with one)!

Good news is, all the ones above are copyrighted, but this one, since it's so good, I'll let YOU (the reader) use this in your leaving topic!
Anyways, here it is:

 

 

(4) "Not leaving yet"

Now, all you gotta do is stay on the forum, waiting for someone to reply to your topic and then answer back mentioning you haven't left yet.

 

The reason you do this step is because right after you post the topic you realize you don't wanna leave Tanki yet, so as a cover-up, you say you're leaving "soon", then you wait for your topic to lose publicity and stay in the game for as long as you want!

 

 

(✮) Final bonus

For everyone who still believes you're actually leaving Tanki, good. Sit back, relax, and enjoy people showering you with comments like "don't leave, we'll miss you :c", and maybe even eventually a Blue Sphere! Just keep it comin'! Trust me, it'll feel quite awesome (until some noob mod party-pooper comes and closed your topic).

 

And there you have it, the ultimate guide to quitting Tanki Online! Now go quit Tanki in style!

Thank you, and have a nice day!

 

Written by,

PS: Special thanks to GoldRock for doing a bit of proofreading.

Last update 5/06/16

Edited August 7, 2016 by Yisroel.Rabin

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

★ COPY OF QUITTING TOPIC ★

(SPELLING & GRAMMAR MISTAKES INTENDED)

 

 

I quit Tanke ferever!!1!

 

Hey guys, im yisroel.rabin and i've been thinking for a while off quitting tanke and today i decided to finally do it! I didnt want to do it cuz i would miss alot of freinds, but i said whatever, i'll do it!

 

I'm quitting because I'm getting bored of this dumb game. Always lagging, always bugging, and I never could cap a freaking flag with these dumb draggers. I hope Tanki understands that they're so many people quitting now days because of THEM! I may be just one person, but I stand with so many more people who have left the game because of the game itself. Be ashamed Tanki, be ashamed!

 

I've been playing for a looong time now. almost 5 weaks now. i have made alot of freinds who have kept me up when i was down in the dumps and made me confidenter when i was sad. u guys r the best.

i even came before simon kirov leave tanke, i miss him alot also, he was a good guy, he was a freind off mine also.

i remember 3 weeks ago, wen i only had railgun and firebird M0. now i have all the guns and tanks and firebird m1! i grew alot since i started tanke, but i know its time to go, sorry guys.

 

now,,, i wanna say by to every1 who helped me in the game, and where my best freinds!!1! here it goose (note; everyone here is important ppl, i even checked, they have pics next to there names):
 

1. Semyon Kirov
simon, you helped me so much when i couldnt get on that house in silence winter. u showed me the vars.set hull weight 0.1 code. sadly, it doesnt work on anyone else computar, sorry guys. and thx simon, ur da best!

 

2. yele
yele is a great gurl, she always call me on skype, and we always laugh together. she's even my next door nabour! rlly nice girl, always helps me with missions; im gonna mis u yele :CCC

 

3. Damn_Slow

damn-slow, u such a nice guy, u always gave me crystals even if i lost every contests, u'r a great communaty manager, thx so much man. love u <3

 

4. Cedric Debono

cderik. i dont know who the heck u r but u have an avatar, so ur my freind, thx man.

 

 

and now, i would just like to say thx everyone else who helped me out in the game, ima miss u all and this game, but i really do have to leave, the game is forcing me to  :( dont miss me to much guys, bye.

 

urs truly,

yisroel.rabin

Edited May 27, 2016 by Yisroel.Rabin

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

Great Aricle!

How did you get that title though? That font for the title looks cool!

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Great Aricle!

How did you get that title though? That font for the title looks cool!

Thanks!

It's the official Tanki font, and it cost money, but of course I got it for free from some noob.

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

Thanks!

It's the official Tanki font, and it cost money, but of course I got it for free from some noob.

Uhh, how?

[ethanisme 1,115]

Lol nice I might have to try it out someday :D 

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Uhh, how?

Someone gave me the download...

I downloaded the font, then went took a pic of the forums background colour (to make it look transparent), went on some online editor, resized the image, opened my fonts, chose the font, and WALLA!

 

Lol nice I might have to try it out someday :D

You better, otherwise this topic is all for nothing :c

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

ll XD that was so hilarious  :lol:

[noely01 149]

I cant stop laughing :D :D

[arnav0506 2,777]

Really have me insights on how to quit tanki.. Thanks yisroel!

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

Had me sniggering the whole way through. Awesome piece, @Yisroel.Rabin, awesome piece.

[Rayyan 3,415]

Great Aricle!

How did you get that title though? That font for the title looks cool!

http://www.myfonts.com/fonts/paratype/quadrat-grotesk/pt-quadrat-grotesk-bold/

[TriNitroToIuene 4,765]

http://www.myfonts.com/fonts/paratype/quadrat-grotesk/pt-quadrat-grotesk-bold/

You just helped a lot of us out there :lol:

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

http://www.myfonts.com/fonts/paratype/quadrat-grotesk/pt-quadrat-grotesk-bold/

Is there any free way though?

I ain't paying 30$ for a damn font!

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

ll XD that was so hilarious  :lol:

I cant stop laughing :D :D

You're welcome :)

 

Really have me insights on how to quit tanki.. Thanks yisroel!

Had me sniggering the whole way through. Awesome piece, @Yisroel.Rabin, awesome piece.

Thanks ^_^

 

You just helped a lot of us out there :lol:

Not much, they still gotta pay $30...

 

Is there any free way though?

I ain't paying 30$ for a damn font!

You could try to force it outta me, probably won't give it to you though. Ask any wiki editor, reporter, admin etc. Lot's of people have it.

[Mr.Cashier 1,622]

Nicely Written :lol:

[DarkOperative 5,580]

:lol: Nice one

 

 

+1

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Nicely Written :lol:

:lol: Nice one

 

+1

Thank you! ^_^

[Hypocrisy 6]

 

✮ COPY OF QUITTING TOPIC ✮

(SPELLING & GRAMMAR MISTAKES INTENDED)

 

 

I quit Tanke ferever!!1!

 

Hey guys, im yisroel.rabin and i've been thinking for a while off quitting tanke and today i decided to finally do it! I didnt want to do it cuz i would miss alot of freinds, but i said whatever, i'll do it!

 

I'm quitting because I'm getting bored of this dumb game. Always lagging, always bugging, and I never could cap a freaking flag with these dumb draggers. I hope Tanki understands that they're so many people quitting now days because of THEM! I may be just one person, but I stand with so many more people who have left the game because of the game itself. Be ashamed Tanki, be ashamed!

 

I've been playing for a looong time now. almost 5 weaks now. i have made alot of freinds who have kept me up when i was down in the dumps and made me confidenter when i was sad. u guys r the best.

i even came before simon kirov leave tanke, i miss him alot also, he was a good guy, he was a freind off mine also.

i remember 3 weeks ago, wen i only had railgun and firebird M0. now i have all the guns and tanks and firebird m1! i grew alot since i started tanke, but i know its time to go, sorry guys.

 

now,,, i wanna say by to every1 who helped me in the game, and where my best freinds!!1! here it goose (note; everyone here is important ppl, i even checked, they have pics next to there names):

 

1. Semyon Kirov

simon, you helped me so much when i couldnt get on that house in silence winter. u showed me the vars.set hull weight 0.1 code. sadly, it doesnt work on anyone else computar, sorry guys. and thx simon, ur da best!

 

2. yele

yele is a great gurl, she always call me on skype, and we always laugh together. she's even my next door nabour! rlly nice girl, always helps me with missions; im gonna mis u yele :CCC

 

3. Damn_Slow

damn-slow, u such a nice guy, u always gave me crystals even if i lost every contests, u'r a great communaty manager, thx so much man. love u <3

 

4. Cedric Debono

cderik. i dont know who the heck u r but u have an avatar, so ur my freind, thx man.

 

 

and now, i would just like to say thx everyone else who helped me out in the game, ima miss u all and this game, but i really do have to leave, the game is forcing me to  :( dont miss me to much guys, bye.

 

urs truly,

yisroel.rabin

 

o no yisroel.rabin is laeving!!!!1!1!!11 yu will alweays be my freind!!!1!!1!! i will miss yuo

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

o no yisroel.rabin is laeving!!!!1!1!!11 yu will alweays be my freind!!!1!!1!! i will miss yuo

See, you guys should learn from this guy. ^

[Crusader 198]

I don't read the newspaper that often, but this was really a truly funny article and I actually took the time to finish the whole thing. Great job!

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

I don't read the newspaper that often, but this was really a truly funny article and I actually took the time to finish the whole thing. Great job!

Thank you! ^_^ Means a lot, really.

[personia 4,036]

I heard TCG was closing, and so I came to have a look at this. And now you've gone and ruined the amateurs writing club for me Yis! Nothing's gonna stand up to this! +1 definitely.

Edited May 9, 2016 by personia

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

I heard TCG was closing, and so I came to have a look at this. And now you've gone and ruined the amateurs writing club for me Yis! Nothing's gonna stand up to this! +1 definitely.

:lol: Thanks

[Cpt.Mad 21]

Well, found that font : https://www.onlinewebfonts.com/download/69d2f1dfb5516de36f5bac2fbddaa9eb