[Issue 54] [Special] Newspaper Crystal Giveaway... with a twist!

[The_Wappa_The_Great 0]

The_Wappa_The_Great

marco_waterpolo

 

What did the one ocean say to the other ocean?

 

Nothing, he just waved. :)

[trainboy 10]

@trainboy

@nobodylikeme

Chuck Norris Once threw 1 grenade and killed 50 people with it.

 

Then it exploded

 

:)

Edited July 2, 2016 by trainboy

[trainboy 10]

Just to clarify, if you want to know how to include the players rank symbol and make it a link just type this:

 

(Put Square Bracket here)member=(Put username here)(Put end Square bracket here)

Then between the = and the ] put the players name with no spaces anywhere

 

@trainboy

@Godmode_ON

 

 

Or you can Quote this comment and see the actual command

Edited July 2, 2016 by trainboy

[GeeVuh 1,647]

@Gee.vuh

@KillerGnat

 

W.C. Joke: An English lady, while visiting Switzerland, was looking for a room, and she asked the schoolmaster if he could recommend any to her. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled, the lady returned to her home to make the final preparations to move.

When she arrived home, the thought suddenly occurred to her that she had not seen a “W.C.” [water closet, a euphemism for toilet] around the place. So she immediately wrote a note to the schoolmaster asking him if there were a “W.C.” around. The [swiss] schoolmaster was a very poor student of English, so he asked the [swiss] parish priest if he could help in the matter. Together they tried to discover the meaning of the letters “W.C.,” and the only solution they could find for the letters was “Wayside Chapel.” The schoolmaster then wrote to the English lady the following note:

Dear Madam:
I take great pleasure in informing you that the W.C. is situated nine miles from the house you occupy, in the center of a beautiful grove of pine trees surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and it is open on Sunday and Thursday only. As there are a great number of people and they are expected during the summer months, I would suggest that you come early: although there is plenty of standing room as a rule. You will no doubt be glad to hear that a good number of people bring their lunch and make a day of it; while others who can afford to go by car arrive just in time. I would especially recommend that your ladyship go on Thursday when there is a musical accompaniment. It may interest you to know that my daughter was married in the W.C. and it was there that she met her husband. I can remember the rush there was for seats. There were ten people to a seat ordinarily occupied by one. It was wonderful to see the expression on their faces. The newest attraction is a bell donated by a wealthy resident of the district. It rings every time a person enters. A bazaar is to be held to provide plush seats for all the people, since they feel it is a long felt need. My wife is rather delicate, so she can’t attend regularly. I shall be delighted to reserve the best seat for you if you wish, where you will be seen by all. For the children, there is a special time and place so that they will not disturb the elders. Hoping to have been of service to you, I remain,
Sincerely,
The Schoolmaster

Edited July 2, 2016 by GeeVuh

[theBEASTmode_ON 12]

theBEASTmode_ON

GetRektSkrub_ii

 

teacher: what does the chicken give you?

student: Meat!

teacher: very good! Now what does the pig give you?

student: Bacon!

teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?

student: Homework!!

:D  :D

Edited July 2, 2016 by theBEASTmode_ON

[H.U.L.K 73]

_____________________________________________________

@a__Star @Here.Comes.The.Money

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

They Said: "unused contest funds which would have vanished into the Tanki void"

xaxaxa.

Edited July 2, 2016 by H.U.L.K

[Swagger1875 3]

Swagger1875

baller1057

 

Instead of " the John", I call my toilet "the Jim". That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning

[CWolffe 16]

@CWolffe

 

What do you call a duck that steals?

 

A robber duck

Edited July 2, 2016 by CWolffe

[EpicTroll99 572]

@EpicTroll99

@The_Beast_Walrus2

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

 

@hogree was chasing it with a frying pan

 

 

[Creepernan8820 21]

@Creepernan8820

@BuriedSky

 

Knock knock:

Who's there:

doctor:

doctor who:

that's my name docter who

 

(well u did ay bad jockes

Edited July 2, 2016 by Creepernan8820

[Hypocrisy 6]

1. NinBrandon888

2. gidoway

 

"Gold box will be dropped soon"

It's dropping in the center bottom of the Madness map, and I was aligned to jump down and take it before the others down by the drop zone. 

It starts to drop.

I can feel my heartbeat through my ears excitedly.

I jump down.

The next thing I know, I self-destruct before I even got halfway to the gold.

ARGH!!!

Thank you, Tanki, for squeezing us into EN3 and creating the most horrible lags I have ever experienced in my 16 months of playing the game.

[P_O_T_A_T_O 136]

username1: Mwhahahhahahahahaha (me !)

my friend: van_zan

 

the joke:  It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets !

Edited July 2, 2016 by P_O_T_A_T_O

[dunes555 368]

@dunes555

@messi22616

 

 What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?

Swimming trunks.

 

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

@Lethal_Injection

@KevlarFusion

So... last joke contest I entered I submitted 10 jokes. You may be wondering how many won?

Sadly, no pun in ten did. ;)

Anyways, a dog, a fisherman, and a politician walked into a bar and lost conciousness. Later they all woke up in the hospital and learned a valuable lesson: metal poles don't serve drinks.

:P Corny af

Edited July 2, 2016 by Blackdrakon30

[opidude 437]

Nicknames:

0P1DUD3

Ironlad_77

 

Joke: Why did Suzie drop her ice cream?

 

 

A: She got hit by a truck.

[flashtank321 0]

astro72

flashtank321

Why did the tomato run after the bottle?

 

 

 

 

 

because it wanted to ketchup :D

Hope you liked it!

Good luck!

 

Edited July 2, 2016 by flashtank321

[androidb7 177]

@androidb7

@MrCheezyPotato

 

Dad: I heard you got your report card today, how were your grades?

Son: meh, they went underwater.

Dad: What do you mean?

Son: I mean they were below "C" level.

[pwhite 120]

Pwhite

Htownmizzoufan

 

Hillary: I want you to release your tax returns.

 

Trump: I emailed them to you.

[NamesAreForNoobs 324]

@NamesAreForNoobs

​@Zanlasha_G

 

​Do you want to hear the funniest joke in the world?

 

 

Me too!

 

 

Edited July 3, 2016 by NamesAreForNoobs

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

• @DragonOfStorms
• @BLASTER872

Just realized reporters are exempt from these :lol:

 

Knock knock!

*2 shotgun blasts*

Lovely advice, Biden.

 

A less political joke:

What do you get when you cross a Viking with a Shaft?

 

A Scandinavian warrior in a hole.

 

Edited July 24, 2016 by DragonOfStorms

[aks1091990 53]

@aks1091990

@A.Zkiller

 

FRIENDS NOSTALGIA.... (Childhood Of Joey) 

 

Mother: “How was school today, Joey?”

 

Joey: “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

 

Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

 

Joey: “What school?” :P

[A.Zkiller 28]

@A.Zkiller @aks1091990

My over-smart 10-year-old son challenged me to a game of Xp/Bp the other day, in front of his mom.

I finished him off with Score of 5-0 before proudly exclaiming,
“Who’s your Daddy?”  B)   B) 
He replied, “Mum says it was probably the milkman.”  :P   :P 

The little devil  :angry:   :D   :P 

Edited July 2, 2016 by A.Zkiller

[Mister.Sister 3,574]

 

Joke: has gladiator.

[KIngJack21 1,923]

@ash77710

@KIngJack21

 

 

If,

x: Do you think we can win this?

Z: How can you think we will win.

Find Y.

This is a joke. :D

 

 

Edited July 2, 2016 by KIngJack21

[TheFlash413 32]

TheFlash413 and LightTankKitM3

 

I'm a massive computer geek, and people keep telling me to get a life.

Then I thought to myself, I don't need to get a life, I'm a gamer so I have lots of lives.