[Issue 54] [Special] Newspaper Crystal Giveaway... with a twist!

[Justsomeonelol 148]

@moiz979 @Ninja_Muizz

 

A boy met a girl. He blushed like crazy. "I gotta tell you something," he said. He's going to ask me to be his girlfriend, she thinks. "I licked your bicycle," he says.

Edited July 2, 2016 by Justsomeonelol

[Tap_Dancer 1,360]

@5ibrahim

@Read_My_Lips

Why do hens watch T.V?

For h-entertainment

Edited July 2, 2016 by BirdKnights

[gavx_PRO 321]

@gavx_PRO

@SirValiant

 

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

 

 

Its pasture bed time!

 

 

XD

[Yonald 21]

1.

2. @Cedric Debono

 

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

[ValdezHawk 12]

@ValdezHawk

@qqpp4
 

My Joke:

This may be a wacky joke so make sure to hold on.
Teacher: What are the Seven Wonders of the World?
Student: Silly Wacky Otter With Wonders. 
Teacher: Are you sure about that, Mr.Otter?
Student: Yes, ma'am. You can ask the otters at the river.

 

Edited July 2, 2016 by ValdezHawk

[ibo2310 8]

@ibo2310

 

Why did the girl put sugar under her pillow ?

To have sweet dreams.

Edited July 2, 2016 by ibo2310

[joe123_Superman 430]

@joe123_Superman

@T.O.R.N.A.D.O.XXX

 

Teacher: I have two questions for you, which will decide which group you will go in: Nerds, Smarties, or DumDums.

Student: Ok....

Teacher: Q1. Two people walk into a pub. Person A asks for H2O. Person B says, "I want H2O Too!" What happens to Person B?

Student: He gets the same order as Person A?

Teacher: No, he dies!

Teacher: Q2. What is the formula for water?

Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.

Teacher: That's not what I taught you. :mellow:

Student: But you said H to O.... :huh:

Teacher: I needn't tell you what group you are in.. :)

Student: I hate School! It only Sucks Children's Happiness Out of Life. :( :angry:

Edited July 10, 2016 by joe123_Superman

[TTK_229 1,080]

TTK_229, PauliusDaOne

Sorry I don't know how to post the real nicknames

The joke: what do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

[swagmaster178 162]

@awesomenessrichard2

@shadow256

 

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

A: To get to the *****'s house.

 

 

A: Knock knock

B: Who's there?

A: The chicken.

 

:P

[L-I-M-I-N-A-L-I-T-Y 21]

@L-I-M-I-N-A-L-I-T-Y &   @Buggy99

The human brain is very amazing...it functions 24 hours for 365 days since we were born and only stops when we........

~ Take Exams ~

[Ruthick_merciless 5]

@Ruthick_merciless

@axel_rockz

 

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately

needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my

gas with the beat of the music.

 

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,

and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

 

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

Edited July 3, 2016 by Ruthick_merciless

[Kempkat 3]

Nicknames of people:

 

1. Kempkat

2.TheRealEdge

 

Joke:

There are two elephants standing in a shower. The first one says, "Pass the soap". The second one says, "No soap, radio"!

 

P.S. Sorry that I don't know how to create the link to profile plus rank for the tanker's names
 

Edited July 3, 2016 by Kempkat

[Parkour_God_pro 0]

Parkour_God_pro

 

Manny888

 

Whys Six afraid seven because Seven EIGHT Nine!! HaHaHaHa!!  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

 

 

 

(I don't know if someones already done this joke.)

Edited July 3, 2016 by Parkour_God_pro

[Anonono 1,233]

@Anonono

@Darren4Turbo

 

How much does a polar bear weigh?

Not enough to break the ice...

Hey, my name's Anonono. Yours?

Edited July 3, 2016 by Anonono

[bobthebuilderisnot 11]

@bobthebuilderisnot

@GoldRock

 

 

 

There are 10 types of humanoids in existance. Those who understand binary, and those who do not.

 

 

Edited July 3, 2016 by bobthebuilderisnot

[zeus2292 4]

@Zeus229

@NamesAreForNoobs

 

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

[randomperson123456 17]

@randomperson123456

 

Why don't polar bears eat penguins?

 

 

Because they live on opposite ends of the earth >.>

 

[tobias.tichy 119]

tobias.tichy

charasb52
 
Asks the doctor patient: "You want to show the charm?"
The patient replies: "Yes, I do."
"Then turn around and take off your pants."
The patient will do it.
"Can you feel my thumb in the butt?" he asks.
"Yes."
"Well, look, I've got my hands over your head."

Edited July 3, 2016 by tobias.tichy

[Apolloold 333]

- What do lawyers wear to court?......

 

anyone?......

 

... anyone?......

 

 

A law suit! :D

 

Nicknames - Rebel_51 and K.D.FRAGS  (sorry, I don't know how to link the names :/)

[I3.R.0 1,700]

@prabodhan

@Startle

 

Joke:

 

 

Dialogue between a person and a car driver. The person's name is Sardar.

 

Sardar: (Looking at the cool car of the driver) Wow! Such a wonderful car..What's its name?

Car Driver: (With a smile) I am not sure but it starts with "T".

Sardar:(Surprised :O) Wow! I heard cars start with petrol and diesel..For the first time I heard that a car can start with Tea.

 

HEHE

 

 

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

So many good jokes here. ;-;

 

@Achilleus

 

Doctor: So, I have good news and bad news.

Patient: What's the good news?

Doctor: You have five days to live.

Patient: Whaaaaat?!? If that's good news, what's the bad news?

Doctor: It's Friday.

Patient: So?

Doctor: I tried to tell you this on Monday.

[BatmanX9 45]

@BatmanX9

@Justsomeonelol

 

Joke:

 

Good gosh! It is so cold I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets! :lol:

 

Edited July 3, 2016 by BatmanX9

[Penguin40 1,714]

DragonOfStorms

player_2015_tanker

 

Some times, in some countries, advertisements are posted over previous ones on walls. It once rained, and such piles of advertisements looked like one as such:

 

Special offer: Buy one pet, get an elephant free. Get a smartphone at the reduced price of ten thousand dollars over previous price of five hundred! Get a car for the incredible price of just a pack of pet food!

[Sevdragon 13]

1: Sevdragon

2: Pienapuika

 

My high school assignment 
was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served 
in the Philippines during the war, 
I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, “Did you ever kill anyone?”

 

Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, “Probably. I was the cook.”

[mvschool 0]

mvschool
 
browjo31
 
What do you call a fake noodle?
 
An Impasta:o