[Issue 54] [Special] Football Frenzy: Pundit Speak with Alec Smart

[Zenyth 6,494]

 

[Live telecast commences with a flashy intro on the screen, as backstage staff jabber on for a few seconds]

 

Presenter: Hello and welcome everyone! About a week ago, we saw the end of the Tanki Online Football Frenzy: Euro 2016 contest, undoubtedly one of the biggest, if not the biggest giveaway this year. It is a contest which could potentially reward a lot of tankers with oodles of cash; or maybe not, you never know! It was a perfect chance for tankers to assume the powers of psychic baby elephants and octopus oracles who have taken the world by storm in the recent past.

 

To discuss possible techniques to crack this contest and future ones of similar kinds and put two and two together based on the ongoing set of circumstances in France, we have invited the self-proclaimed expert of all disciplines and chairman of the know-it-all organization... without further ado I present before you, Mr. Alec Smart!

 

[shorter intro plays as audience applauds with mixed claps and giggles]

 

Nerd radar shows a blip.

 

Alec Smart: Hello everyone, thanks for the loud applause. I am normally used to a more impressive reception, but this one didn't disappoint. [chuckles, along with the presenter]

 

[Presenter's chuckle slowly transforms into a grin as he turns his plush chair towards Mr. Alec]

 

Presenter: Moving to the subject of this show, I'd like to start by asking you your opinion on this contest!

 

Alec Smart: 'Twas great. Generous rewards and the popularity of the tournament made this contest an instant success with an astounding 11,738 entries! I could also imagine such a contest taking shape as a sweepstake. Besides that, it was shocking to see a few of the participants actually ponder over their choices and make good decisions. I wasn't aware of the existence of people except me who do that.. [chortles, but stops after realizing his failed attempt at humour]

 

Presenter: Speaking of decisions, participants had to make one tough one, whether to vote a country that had already qualified for the round of 16 or do a little digging and vote for one that had the best chance of reaching the ultimate stage of the UEFA Euro.

 

These Digletts would suffice.

 

Alec Smart: [with a tone of self-assertion] Oh, certainly, that's what I was going to talk about. Personally, I would chosen the former. France, Italy, and Spain had qualified to the last 16 quite early, so they must have been the foremost choice of many participants. People usually go for the "safest" option, and these three could indeed guarantee you at least 5,000 crystals.

 

Presenter: However quite a few have taken the risk, putting a possible reward into jeopardy. Because in reality, it's a contest and not a free hot dog cart. To name an example, there were reportedly entries backing even the teams most unlikely to win, the sheer minnows and underdogs. Speaks volumes about the patriotism and passionate support!

 

Alec Smart: Certainly. [coughs] We did see some extreme cases of the latter, though.

 

Presenter: Moving on, a lot of people relied on former European champions to potentially bag them the biggest prize. Germany and Spain, having won the European Championships thrice earlier, were understandably prominent choices, weren't they?

 

Alec Smart: Naturally! In fact, the statistician that I had summoned to assess the entries told me that a staggering 49.6% people chose Germany in the poll. An amazing majority. Not trying to cook their goose, but I wouldn't be surprised by they didn't make it to the top and one thing's certain, it will spark a massive uproar if they lose. 

 

It sure will.

 

However, I would never bank on history and although it has repeated itself on numerous occasions, upsets are really common. It all depends on the current shape and recent performances. Even in history itself, Denmark and the then Czechoslovakia, essentially dark horses had won the Euro. One could easily spot the potential in certain teams in the group stages - Hungary, Iceland while some teams proved their serious contention for the higher stages, like Croatia and Wales. 

 

Presenter: All in all, the best approach was actually doing a bit of research or actually watching the football. Deciding to blindly support a particular team was definitely not the best idea, because even the pick of the bunch have faltered in the group stage and playoffs alike. On a side note, this contest may have persuaded a few to watch the football.

 

Alec Smart: [sighs] Call it soccer, but that'd be too American. In fact, association football would be better. Common names are for the layman.

 

Presenter: [responds with a fake laugh] Anyway, it's time for some mouth-watering facts, brought to you by Bobruisk Lubricants.

 

Great snakes, what?!

 

[audience exclaims with typical oohs and aahs]

 

Yes, you heard it right. In fact, that massive truckload of gleaming crystals may well be on its way to your garage pretty soon, given that Germany keep progressing like they have. A tough confrontation with the Azzurri (Italians) awaits them in the quarterfinals. As it stands, we have Germany, Italy, France, Poland, Portugal, Belgium and the two debutants Iceland and Wales in the quarters.

 

Alec Smart: [clears throat] The unfortunate thing is that, 16.4% of the participants, the ones who chose England or Spain will have to settle for a meager 5000 crystals. England were shockingly suppressed by a surging Iceland while Spain were tactically beaten by the Italians. The former is being labeled the biggest upset of the decade, at the least.

 

Presenter: On the other hand, comparing the community's predictions in the contest with real-world odds, we came across erroneous results as far as the community's predictions. Most agencies show a 20% probability of a German triumph while almost half of our community is backing Germany. This could probably be attributed to the many blind guesses or minimal thought. 

 

Moving on, we also had the poll for the top goalscorer of the tournament. As expected, three time Ballon d'Or winner Cristiano Ronaldo led the list.

 

[Alec Smart nods]

 

Alec Smart: His eminence clearly showed, as people not well-versed with the football world would only have known a few top footballers like him. Ronaldo bagged a solid 1724 votes on the poll, as my statistician stated. Thomas Mueller of Germany and Dimitri Payet of France were a close second and third. Rooney, Lukaku, Gomez, Stancu and Pellè gained less than 100 votes each.

 

Oh, and Messi too! 

 

Presenter: Besides these, we saw a ton of errant entries, from people listing goalkeepers and horrible spellings to smart alecks googling the highest goalscorer in UEFA Euro and jotting down the name of the retired Michel Platini. 

 

[Presenter laughs, accompanied by a few giggles from the crowd]

 

Overall, someone will hit the jackpot, someone won't. Everyone will kept on the edge of their seats until the final whistle, or the final penalty in that case, on the 11th of July when the finalists will battle for the trophy. The Euro 2016 contest surely induced some football fever in the Tanki community.

 

That's all for this time, folks! We'll be back with Mr. Alec Smart, some other time, some other day!

 

[Audience applause as the interview draws to a close]

 

[Destrod 2,634]

North Korea win Euro Cup. they pro k?

[Quarks 2,255]

Well done article. While I am not a major SOCCER fan, I can still enjoy this article.

[Mr.Latvian 3,597]

Well made article! Go Germany bring me those 50k! 

[Metaphor 538]

North Korea win Euro Cup. they pro k?

That's sarcasm I assume :P

[Guest]

Amazing article!

 

Just to add something more, here you can view the definitive and team-specific list showing how many users picked a certain team:

 

TEAM | ENTRIES | PERCENTAGE

• Albania 48 0.4%
• Austria 26 0.2%
• Belgium 93 0.8%
• Croatia 128 1.1%
• Czech Republic 34 0.3%
• England 533 4.5%
• France 1964 16.8%
• Germany 5745 49%
• Hungary 111 0.9%
• Iceland 32 0.3%
• Italy 504 4.3%
• Northern Ireland 13 0.1%
• Poland 82 0.7%
• Portugal 551 4.7%
• Republic of Ireland 15 0.1%
• Romania 41 0.3%
• Russia 173 1.5%
• Slovakia 55 0.5%
• Spain 1366 11.7%
• Sweden 43 0.4%
• Switzerland 34 0.3%
• Turkey 47 0.4%
• Ukraine 16 0.1%
• Wales 71 0.6%

 

One last additional info below — a graph showing the spread of daily answers while the form for the contest was still open (From 14 June to 22 June):

[donaldo9000 1,342]

Well written :)

[Zenyth 6,494]

While I am not a major SOCCER fan

That's somewhat surprising, Bry. :P

 

Amazing article!

 

Just to add something more, here you can view the definitive and team-specific list showing how many users picked a certain team:

 

TEAM | ENTRIES | PERCENTAGE

• Albania 48 0.4%
• Austria 26 0.2%
• Belgium 93 0.8%
• Croatia 128 1.1%
• Czech Republic 34 0.3%
• England 533 4.5%
• France 1964 16.8%
• Germany 5745 49%
• Hungary 111 0.9%
• Iceland 32 0.3%
• Italy 504 4.3%
• Northern Ireland 13 0.1%
• Poland 82 0.7%
• Portugal 551 4.7%
• Republic of Ireland 15 0.1%
• Romania 41 0.3%
• Russia 173 1.5%
• Slovakia 55 0.5%
• Spain 1366 11.7%
• Sweden 43 0.4%
• Switzerland 34 0.3%
• Turkey 47 0.4%
• Ukraine 16 0.1%
• Wales 71 0.6%

 

One last additional info below — a graph showing the spread of daily answers while the form for the contest was still open (From 14 June to 22 June):

Thanks for taking the time, Issho. :D

For better chances, people should have waited till the last day of the poll, but the graph states otherwise. 

Edited July 1, 2016 by Zenyth

[Quarks 2,255]

That's somewhat surprising, Bry. :P

IKR!!! It's not like I near constantly mention that on skype or something  :ph34r:

[Hex 11,520]

Nicely done! Keep it up!

[KillerGnat 3,135]

Oh, and Messi too! 

:lol:

 

 

Among my favorites of this issue, Zen, and that's saying a lot.

[Zenyth 6,494]

:lol:

 

 

Among my favorites of this issue, Zen, and that's saying a lot.

Hehe, thanks.

I'm not exaggerating there, there were seriously too many people who picked Messi. :lol:

[BlueDragon_tamki 3,204]

XD hilarious article

Gj

[Bugs.meeny 1,013]

Lol I'm one of those noobs who googled top scorer . . . soccer isn't my sport, k

I did look on the official Euro 2016 page though, and chose one of the good scorers

Edited July 3, 2016 by Bugs.meeny

[Zenyth 6,494]

Lol I'm one of those noobs who googled top scorer . . . soccer isn't my sport, k

I did look on the official Euro 2016 page though, and chose one of the good scorers

At least you didn't write down a goalkeeper, good job! :lol:

[fightermalikio20115 374]

Well if Germany wins there is the 50k for sergeant corporol acc *evil grin*

[r_sniperscope1 0]

france greziman top scorer

Edited July 8, 2016 by r_sniperscope1

[Ninja 10,468]

I thought Germans were reliable, now they've lost.

[Zenyth 6,494]

I thought Germans were reliable, now they've lost.

Their attack lacked lustre in the crunch games.

[Flexoo 6,980]

That penalty had a devastating effect on their moral.

[Zenyth 6,494]

That penalty had a devastating effect on their moral.

that reminds me of how zaza's penalty dance would have affected italy

[Flexoo 6,980]

All the money for dance classes wasted!

Edited July 13, 2016 by Flexoo