5 More Types Of Noobs

[BLASTER872 1,892]

 

Since the announcement on June 29th, 2016, I saw that two of my articles got on the "Best of Amateur Writing [Round 3]" (one of which were merely an honorable mention). My other article, "5 Types Of Annoying Noobs", scraped Number 5. Since it reached Number 5, and that I've also got a LOT more types of noobs, I hope you enjoy this one as much as the last one!

 

5. Goldies

 

Annoyance Rating: 4/5

 

Found: Everywhere, except for organized events and private battles (hopefully, if I'm not here to troll you!1!)

 

I know you're thinking, "You already covered this mult!" However, with the recent update, you have the gold box supply. Now, players (and adminsNight-Sisters :ph34r:) can drop golds. If you've got good equipment, or even half-decent equipment (since these guys probably have all M0s), they'll think you're a buyer. Don't even ask me how many "gold pls blaster buyer" requests I've got!

 

Example:

 

4. Noobsucators

 

Annoyance Rating: 5/5

 

Found: When someone presses "2, 3, & 4" in a PRO battle.

 

"Noob drugger!" I hear a lot of people cry. OK, I drug a lot bit, but is it necessary to tell me to leave because I used... uh... 666 repair kits?? Is it?? I saved these drugs up by buying kits! Doing mission chains! (The most reliable form of being BLASTER the drugger) What infuriates me more is players attacking buyers. F2P players do balance economy, but buyers... save Tanki.

 

Example:

 

3. No kill

 

Annoyance Rating: 3/5

 

Found: When a gold drops.

 

When the iconic gold box siren sounds, your heart beats faster. You, who normally doesn't drug, presses '2, 3, 4, & 5" for good measure. You frantically try to find the gold. Meanwhile, in the chat, you've got people saying, "no kill". Seriously? Try to find the gold! Killing is an important aspect of gold hunting! Kill when you need to, and you'll need to. At least you'll have one less competitor.

 

Example:

 

2. Scammers

 

Annoyance Rating: 5/5

 

Found: Almost everywhere.

 

"Do you want to get 1 billion crystals?" Yeah, I do too. However, you shouldn't trust whoever is saying this unless they're a person you know and trust. However, this is no guide on how to avoid scammers - oh wait, what a good idea, I know what my next article will be - and I'm not telling you how to. Nevertheless, it's always annoying when they say, "give me your password, trust me, i'll just do it". When I tell them, "hhhh nobody believes you boi tryhard", they respond with a, "your loss anyway". Yeah, I'll lose my account if I tell you my pass :c

 

Example:

 

1. Tweezers

 

Annoyance Rating: 0/5

 

Found: In the Amateur Writing Club or in the Tanki Online Newspaper. Can also be found in battles.

 

OK, I got lazy, and tweezers called me mult for not including him, so here you go tweezers, happy now? Please no kill nug. You killed me? Give me a few minutes... *returns with fully MUed M3 gear, joins tweezer's battle and targets him* I'm not a mult!1!!1

 

Example:

These tweezers are very high quality.

 

 

Interview

Yeah yeah, I know I got lazy on the final type of noob, but I couldn't think of any. So I hope that tweezers sticks to the no-kill now and that you guys enjoy this Interview... on noobs! I will be interviewing theBEASTmode_ON, Kruthundor, and Yisroel.Rabin, and I will also be answering the questions!

 

Q1: What is your opinion of noobs?

@BLASTER872: I think noobs are an integral part of any MMO, really, just any game. Noobs in Tanki Online aren't too far from the usual types, but they are much more plentiful here.

@Yisroel.Rabin: I think noobs are a fascinating concepts. Noobs can manage anything, far beyond the human capabilities. Asking for golds? Got em'! Calling you a drugger buyer? Got em' too! Asking for goldsagain? Go em' again! The possibilities are endless. Sometimes I wonder why noobs exist. I mean don't the noobs know that no one wants to give them golds, or to be called a drugger buyer by default? Don't they know no ones likes noobs? Either way, I appreciate them because they balance our world out with the big-shot-pros in a way.

@theBEASTmode_ON: What I think of noobs is that they are fun to play with but get annoying after a while because some people are pro and they fight them they just say they're noob and think that they are the best.

@Kruthundor: They are noobs, that's what they are, they can't help it. I like them simply for the fact that they are easy to troll, and also a good way to boost your k/d.

 

Q2: What is the type of noob you dislike the most? (You can choose noobs I haven't listed, as there are LOTS of noobs!)

@BLASTER872: TBH I think it's scammers. They really don't help, and they are one of the few kinds of noobs that can do any real harm other than annoyance.

@Yisroel.Rabin: My favorite types of noobs are by far the ones who insist that you are the noob. Every time they miss a shot at you in an XP battle, their default message pops up; "noob lagger." I like them the most because they are the most illogical. A noob asking for gold, he's making sense: he wants gold, he's asking for it. This guy however will just keep insisting that his failures are all your doings. And if had to choose a second favorite noob, I'd choose @tweezers of course!

@theBEASTmode_ON: My least favorite type of noobs are goldies.

@Kruthundor: Trolls, I know noobs and trolls are different things, even I troll every once in a while, but its the trolls that continue to troll even when it gets in the way of us winning the game. Once your trolling starts interfering with the outcome of the game, then I consider you a noob.

 

Q3: What do you think would reduce the amount of noobs?

@BLASTER872: Put informative banners up! And I'd also provide some incentive to visit the forums. Maybe even just putting it in the yellow chat, or a crystal reward.

@Yisroel.Rabin: *Getting reporter voice ready here... Eh-ech-em* Sadly, there are no cures for noobs, or ways to defect them. We simply have to adapt to the fact that we may encounter noobs once in a while until the "doctor devs" discover what I would call a miracle. Stay safe tankers, stay safe.

@theBEASTmode_ON: Sadly, there is no way to eradicate noobs since they are everywhere and people discover Tanki everyday.

@Kruthundor: Kill them.

 

I hope you've enjoyed my article on 5 More Types Of Noobs.

@tweezers, no kill please!

Edited September 14, 2016 by BLASTER872

[Night-Sisters 2,139]

:lol:

[need.higher.rank 3,491]

Lol

[Jwimmer 2,835]

Lol at "These tweezers are very high quality"

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

@tweezers, no kill please!

@tweezers, no kill please!

no kill please!

no kill

 

...A 6th noob.

---

 

xD Good peice +1

[BLASTER872 1,892]

 

@tweezers, no kill please!

no kill please!

no kill

 

...A 6th noob.

---

 

xD Good peice +1

 

xD Thanks!

 

I lost that bet, but we bet nothing. Wish I bet 3 hours 59 minutes! Really mistook the activity of the NS

(whom you conspired with to beat me in a bet I LOST NOTHING in xD)

 

Nope, it's a 3rd type of noob, remember, "3. No Kill"?

 

Lol at "These tweezers are very high quality"

But... they are high quality

 

:lol:

the allseeingsmile_tankiforum  :)

 

 

Tweezers, pls read this article  :P

At least you're 0/5 :o

[Mr.Cashier 1,622]

:lol: Interesting Article!

 

+1

[BLASTER872 1,892]

:lol: Interesting Article!

 

+1

Thanks!

+2

[BLASTER872 1,892]

New (overdue) answers to interview has been given. I wanted to represent a large range of ranks with it.

[Star_Lord_Tinkou 1,386]

Great !! :D

[tweezers 1,034]

tweezers, no kill please!

*warms up thunder*

I'm high quality too k :ph34r:  

[BLASTER872 1,892]

 

tweezers, no kill please!

*warms up thunder*

I'm high quality too k :ph34r:  

 

Twins will wreck you before thunder warms up, plus viking m2 has more hp

 

you have been warned

 

BLASTER872 has destroyed tweezers.

[KillerGnat 3,135]

tweezers big flader m0lt

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

When I read the #5 nublet type, I was disappointed not to see GoldRock's name in there...

 

PL0X NO KILL

[BLASTER872 1,892]

When I read the #5 nublet type, I was disappointed not to see GoldRock's name in there...

 

PL0X NO KILL

But... goldrock is pro! GOLD IS PRO!11

axaxa no kill.

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

Fun article, well written!  :lol:

[EmpiresAndAlliesPro 174]

Fun article! Why wasn't I helping like last time?  :ph34r: YOU BETRAYED ME.

 

 

:lol: lol

 

"These tweezers are very high quality"

pls no kill tweezers

 

EmpiresAndAlliesPro got shrekt by tweezers 

 

EmpiresAndAlliesPro: y u do dis 2 meh

[Thekillerpenguin 1,731]

I think you used the wrong image for "Scammers". It's currently the same one as the "no kill" one, you might want to correct that.

 

Otherwise, nice article!

[BLASTER872 1,892]

I think you used the wrong image for "Scammers". It's currently the same one as the "no kill" one, you might want to correct that.

 

Otherwise, nice article!

I'll get right to it.

[gabriele02 3,813]

:lol: :lol: :D

[BlasterGTI_TURBO 8]

Lol :)

[BLASTER872 1,892]

Where am I on the Top 5 Articles of this month  :ph34r:

 

tell me tweezers and you'll become high quality

[DESTROYER_13 1,019]

Is the example wrong in #2?

[DESTROYER_13 1,019]

Yeah, example 3 and 2 are the same.

[BLASTER872 1,892]

Yeah, example 3 and 2 are the same.

Hope it works now =o

 

Example 1 is the best though