How to Write Goodly

[pieface101 285]

How to Write Goodly

 

Wanna write a good article? Tired of getting rejected for the AWC for "spamming"? Don't know how the English language works? Well, you've come to the right place! I'll be teaching you all taekwondo how to write goodly. By the end of this, there will be no reason for GoldNug to reject you from the reporter team, unless your name is mydoom.nug, then there's a reason.

 

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First, your article needs to have an intro, you know, a hooker to get your audience interested. It needs to scream out "READ THIS!!! IT'S WORTH YOUR TIME!".

 

READ THIS NUG PLS ITS A GOOD ARTICLE

 

 

Once you've got that down, put a brick on the keyboard and start typing.

 

JIa;ejfia; fjeia;woslkdfj ai;woiejf;alkdsjf iea;jiojdf;s

 

 

Add in some interesting facts. Don't make it all opinionated. Juggle it around a bit so your audience doesn't click that big red "X".

 

Did you know that McDonald's Chicken McNuggets are only 45% chicken? That the surface of the Earth is two-thirds water?

 

 

Include quotes from certain sources and give credit where credit is due.

 

According to Wikipedia, "turtles are ectotherms", whatever that means.

 

 

Make sure you use credible sources.

 

Wikipedia is a very credible source because it sounds professional.

 

 

Sprinkle in a little bit of humor.

 

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

 

 

Include images.

 

 

 

Make sure your transitions are smooth and concise.

 

Now that I've shown you an image of a tomato, let me show you an image of a potato.

 

 

 

Don't use personal pronouns like "I", "you", and "we", unless you want to address your audience.

 

 

Now that the author has shown the audience an image of a tomato, let the author show the audience an equally impressive image of a potato.

 

Edit for spelling and grammar.

 

 

patatoes is the very bestest food in teh planet. Potatoes are the very best food on the planet.

 

Try not to start a riot.

 

 

Irishmen, please do not read the above statement.

 

Reference important figures at least once.

 

 

GoldNug is my senpai.

 

Sound professional, use a thesaurus to avoid repetition.

 

 

The average density of water per mole is a highly quantified value that can be simplified over the Riemann Zeta function... what am I talking about?

 

 

The conclusion is arguably the most important part of an article. You must wrap up the article and leave the reader with someone to take away from it.

 

And that's all for today, folks!

 

 

Try out a personal "signature ending" or something.

 

Bai nug liek dis article

 

 

Once you are done, you should end up with a masterpiece like this:

 

 

DEM ARTICLES

 

READ THIS NUG PLS ITS A GOOD ARTICLE!!11!!!!1!!1 Jofijaeilskdjfa;lskdj;ofialwjesd;flkjiow;leksjdfoi jfaiwoefja;oeifja;wlejfw; ifa;owiejfa ;. Did you know that McDonald's Chicken McNuggets are only 45% chicken? That the surface of the Earth is two-thirds water? Probably not, because you're a nug. Also, according to Wikipedia, "turtles are ectotherms", whatever that means. Hah! You probs didn't know that. Wikipedia is a very credible source because it sounds professional and uses hard words lots. But seriously. Why did the chicken cross the road? Guess. To get to the other side!

 

 

Now that I've shown you an image of a tomato, let me show you an image of a potato:

 

 

Now that the author has shown the audience an image of a tomato, let the author show the audience an image of a potato. patatoes is the very bestest food in teh planet. Potatoes are the very best food on the planet. Irishmen, please do not read the above statement. GoldNug is my senpai. The average density of water per mole is a highly quantified value that can be simplified over the Riemann Zeta function... what am I talking about?

 

And that's all for today, folks!

 

Bai nug liek dis article

 

As you can see by the sheer brilliance of the above example, this guide is highly classified information that is not widely known, so if you disclose any of this information, the FBI will come after you and murder you in your sleep.

 

On that happy note, good luck in your writing endeavours!

 

Bai nug liek dis article

Edited January 9, 2017 by Yisroel.Rabin

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

 

JIa;ejfia; fjeia;woslkdfj ai;woiejf;alkdsjf iea;jiojdf;s

Sorry, I think you may have a few English errors here.

 

 

 

so your audience doesn't click that big red "X".

That's racist ( think), on Macs, the 'X' is quite small. Nope, you're Appleist.

 

 

According to Wikipedia, "turtles are ectotherms", whatever that means.

And according to spell-check, ectotherms isn't a thing. But Google is stupid- ectotherm is an animal which depends on body-heat.

 

 

Irishmen, please do not read the above statement.

:lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 

 

As you can see by the sheer brilliance of the above example, this guide is highly classified information that is not widely known, so if you disclose any of this information, the FBI will come after you and murder you in your sleep.

As the audience can see by the sheer brilliance of the above example, this guide is highly classified that is not widley known, so if the reader discloses any of this information, the FBI will come after the reader and murder the reader in the readers sleep.*

Get it?

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No mistakes that I could remember fixing. Although a very "predictable" or "cliché" king of article' it's still funny. Good job, I got no more feedback to give.

 

Also, nice advice, I belive I could learn a thing or two from this.

 

Bai nug poast dis article

[Ninja 10,468]

Plx me rite reeely gud inglish' u rite reeely nise too!1!1!!

[Anonono 1,233]

I got a good laugh out of this, well done!

[Tofu 6,773]

Nise artikle I lern veeri mooch thenks

[Spit_Fyre 334]

I think you deserve your nickname...

 

+ a tomato :P

[NERF836 202]

Nice! That wus so gud it made meh crie

[TTK_229 1,080]

Very inglesh, much speell.

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

did i do weel???? this artikl rly hleped me thnks pieface!11!!

 

also u wer rong on 1 thing. toohtbrush isnt potato, this is ptoato:

[Jwimmer 2,835]

Wow, I have never used "hookers" in my articles. Will start using "hookers" in every single article now. Hopefully, that will increase the curb appeal of my works.