Tanki Combo Psychology... or Whatever

[pieface101 285]

 

 

 

Disclaimer: Not meant to be offensive to anyone. It's a joke. Pls no flamewar in comments admin.

 

 

 

Ah. Valentine's Day. A time for love, Cupid, arrows, broken hearts, chocolate, and cool Doodle for Google Pangolin Love games. I must admit, I sadly did not have enough time to finish the exquisite platformer by Google because of ahem... homework  <_<.

 

However, fear not! I have ground out yet another article (once again, very belated Chinese New Year). So get up off your couch and wipe those gosh darned potato chip crumbs off of your ripped jeans and stop having a love fantasy with your brand new PS4 and Macbook Pro, for it is time to finally discover the true meaning of love...

 

Or not. Because let's face it, you're 21 and single and every hour you could be spending on a dating website is instead spent on the not-so-dating website Tanki seeking out unsuspecting tankwomen in the EN3 chat. Either that, or you're spamming the comments of this article with love cliches and quotes.

 

So yeah...

 

Naturally, you're gonna click out of this article if it were a real dating guide. Instead however, this is a guide to discover a tanker's characteristics from just their paint*  turret and hull combination! This is also because if you do in fact have a significant other, you don't click out of this article. Don't kill me, I was just listening to advice from Jwimmer awhile back when he wrote an article on writing a good article.

 

You will be able to discover a tankers' true heart far before you begin spamming the chat with x's and o's and making all your teammates and adversaries leave in disgust. (And note that you could not have done this without the help of I, the Great Pie, Celebrator of Holidays that Already Occurred, Narcissistic Dunderhead.)

 

So without further rambling, let's begin!

 

The Turret

 

One of the most obvious places to look on a tank is of course the turret. You can tell a lot from the shape of a turret, it's condition, and where it's pointed. For instance, if a Shaft is pointed at you, you're pretty much screwed. However, we will just focus on what turret it is.

 

Firebird

 

Firebirds are majestic beasts that have a burning passion for something. Their desire can be for anything, music, art, literature, or maybe even you if you're lucky. They are often outspoken and easily find their voice. They are often extroverts, enthusiasts, or maybe even fanatics. Firebirds are your best bet for the tankwoman of your dreams. A Firebird's worst enemy is the Freeze.

 

Freeze

 

Freezes are stone-cold monsters that are mostly frozen inside themselves. The usually carry a quarrel with someone and are easily irritated. They are often unable to be moved with words and almost never cry. Despite their bad appearance, Freezes are actually a necessary part of society as they are steadfast, stubborn, and determined. However, it is occasionally nice to remind a Freeze to Let it Go (sorry, I had to). A Freeze's worst enemy is the Firebird.

 

Isida

 

Isidas are the healers on the sidelines. They are loyal and charitable, and love to help others. They are strong-willed and often do things for the greater good. However, they are often not brave enough to charge into enemy territory, instead, staying behind healing others. They are also very loving and are the second best bet for the tankwoman of your dreams. Isidas get along best on the battlefield with Vulcans.

 

Hammer

 

Hammers are gamblers, risk takers, and adventure seekers. They only have three chances to get it right, but if they hit their mark, the reward is extremely satisfying. Hammers love trying new things, taking risks, and playing card games. It can be difficult to deal with a wild Hammer, however, the best bet for getting along is the Striker.

 

Twins

 

Twins are conservative and meticulous. If Plan A fails, they always have a backup Plan B. They are extroverts who love being around others. In fact, they may panic if alone, they always like having exactly two of everything. They may even go to such lengths as to purchasing doubles of items like tools, furniture, and food. Twins can easily crumble if they lose their support, however, they are powerful otherwise. It is always good to have a Twins on the team, as their plans are well thought out and they have a cool head.

 

Ricochet

 

Ricochet users are aloof, neutral, and love bouncing around. They are often spies and flip-floppers. Be suspicious if there is a Ricochet in your clan or on your team. They are known to come out of nowhere and hit you hard in the back if you don't watch yourself. However, they are carefree and never anxious. They can be great emotional support, especially for a Twins user. They are also the "cool" side character in movies and books.

 

Smoky

 

Smokys are bears​. Smokys are the underdogs, often the oldies but goodies and the under-respected and underrated. Although they may not be as powerful as some of the other turrets, they form the backbone of any team, clan, or relationship. They are the basics, and often are just average. However, don't underestimate them. Smokies are known to make a critical impact every once in a while. They are very different from their older brothers, the Thunders.

 

Striker

 

Strikers are trendy and ahead of their time. They can often sense the winds of change and love doing new things, much like the Hammers. Because of their uncanny ability to know when something is about to happen, like a new shoe brand trending or a video going viral, they are often mistaken for fortune tellers and psychics. This has given Strikers a bad rep, but don't be fooled; It's always useful to have a Striker on your team.

 

Vulcan

 

Vulcans are very similar to Isidas. They love sacrificing their own lives to help others, although often indirectly. They can take some serious damage so long as they know they are attacking the enemy. However, unlike Isidas, they are not as patient and overheat easily and can get pretty hotheaded. It is not wise to cross a Vulcan, as it may explode. Vulcans are also far braver than Isidas. They often inflict self damage and undesirable things onto themselves to help the community. They can be politicians, police officers, and inspirational speakers.

 

Thunder

 

Thunders are well respected and popular among the other turrets. They can make a huge splash upon entering any battle or situation. They can easily get along with any other turret and make friends with almost anyone. They are very trusting and will listen to any tank, no matter how weak. They are very good at dealing with groups and mobs, and are often peace keepers. However, this comes with a price as the Thunder's friendliness may come back to bite them, dealing significant damage.

 

Railgun

 

Railguns are the most diverse group of turrets, as they are often used, well respected and relatively powerful. Railguns can be parkourists, snipers, midfielders, campers, copycats, and n00bs. With this large sample size, there can be two major groups to split Railguns into: pros and followers. Pros can easily be identified by their unrealistic D/L and their ability to turn their turret. They are often the most skilled players on the battlefield and in real life, and should never be crossed as they clearly know what they're doing. Followers, on the other hand, "do Railgun because it's cool" and can often succumb to peer pressure. They may not be a skilled as pros, and may copy whatever you do. They are easily manipulated and can often be tricked into being servants or even minions.

 

Shaft

 

Shafts are lazy campers who believe there is such thing as a free lunch. They often look for the easiest route, and never move and shoot at the same time. They never go above and beyond, rather settling for "just good enough". Somehow they still manage to pull off a respectable D/L. The only benefit of Shafts are that they never overthink a problem, and are helpful in finding the path of least resistance. #nubs

 

The Hull

 

How could we mention the turret without mentioning the hull? Whether it's an immovable glacier like the Mammoth, or a tinfoil Wasp, the hull is a great indication of a tank's personality.

 

Wasp

 

Wasps are fast and straight to the point. They hate dillydallying and have an obsession with getting everything done as fast as possible. They are known for their excessive speeding and occasional sloppiness. Wasps are never late for meetings; in fact, they are often 45 minutes early despite being pulled over countless times. Wasps hate yellow jackets.

 

Hornet

 

Hornets are light hearted and happy. They absolutely despise pressure of any kind weighing them down. Don't count on them for tough assignments, as they will most likely fail. However, there is one exception to this rule: Hornets excel at capturing clutch flags, whether in Tanki, a game of real life Capture the Flag, or in an actual war. Hornets, like Wasps, hate yellow jackets, which I guess makes them allies?

 

Hunter

 

Hunters are old fashioned and tend to stick with what they know best. They often don't want to let go of childhood possessions and often enjoy much the same things they enjoyed years ago. They have a hard time with this thing called "technology" and prefer to stick to the library. Hunters can be found in log cabins in abandoned mountain villages practicing taxidermy.

 

Viking

 

Vikings are a group of Norse men that raided villages and wore horned helmets. The end. Vikings are neutral and unopinionated, preferring to go with the flow. They often prefer the middle, rather than the two extremes. Be wary of any Vikings on your team as they are neutral and do not have any strong allegiances. Like Ricochet, Viking may stab you in the back at any moment. However, just like Ricochet, it has its benefits. Because of its neutrality, it cannot be easily swayed. They are not very gullible and tend to have their own opinions largely unchanged.

 

Dictator

 

Dictators are bossy, loud, and generally hated by the other tanks. Due to their high vantage point, they feel like they have an elevated status (ah the puns) compared to other tanks and can control them. They are very greedy and love seeking shiny golden boxes. They expect other tanks to obey and can grow infuriated otherwise. However, having a slightly less extreme Dictator on your team can be beneficial, so long as they are a good leader.

 

Titan

 

Titans are sadistic monsters who love to bully others and push them off the edge in Monte Carlo. *drops mic. I'm done here.

 

Mammoth

 

Mammoths are sturdy, stable, and relatively slow compared to other tanks. They have a "take it slow" attitude, the complete opposite side of the spectrum from the Wasps. These big dudes have no need to hurry, and love hanging out and going camping. Their bodies are big enough to be the tents, but you still have to remember to pack Shaft, as its scope will allow you to see the Andromeda Galaxy on a clear night. Although not completely lazy, it may appear like Mammoths are that on the surface.

 

Conclusion

 

Welp. You've analyzed your entire team and the opposing one too. You think you understand everyone now. There's only one thing left to do:

 

Tell her how you feel.

 

You cross your fingers and wish upon the Andromeda Galaxy along with the other Mammoths as you sit around like a mult while your team gets pummeled by the other Railguns. Turns out they're pros. As time creeps past, you observe the screen anxiously, sweat trickling down your back and your dog rolling over for a belly rub.

 

Oop.

 

You got flat out rejected.

 

Looks like I forgot to tell you how to get her to like you and not act like an immature 3 yr old  :D *fails innocent expression*

 

Oh well. At least you learned something, right? Right? Oh, and don't kick your dog out of frustration (that's animal abuse I believe).

 

So on that awkward note, I end this article.

 

BAI NUg LIeK DIS ARTikLE AN DoN FURGIT!!! TO COMKEnT uR TANKY COmB0

 

I'm a Firebird Viking. That means I'm passionate yet neutral. Yes, I know, some combos come out weird.

Edited February 16, 2017 by Savage

[Crip 4,735]

Approved.

 

 

Brilliant! I loved it! You've really connected their "personalities" to their in-game behaviour really well. A really nice idea and I wish I'd thought of it. 

 

Almost perfection in terms of your grammar, and the overall structure of this article is good. Only a few things needed correcting.

 

- Changed font to Trebuchet MS.

- Changed "grinded" to "ground".

- Remember that "it's" means "it is". It's not the possessive form.

- Rephrased 1 sentence somewhere.

 

Good job! You earned a like from me.

Edited February 16, 2017 by Savage

[Zenyth 6,494]

relatable

well done

[tweezers 1,034]

 

 

Thunder

 

Thunders are well respected

 

LIES! ALL LIES! 

 

Epic job :D

[Spit_Fyre 334]

I could totally relate to the combos I use :P

[r_F.A.M.E1 158]

Outstanding!

[Tofu 6,773]

My fav combo is Xp so ^_^

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

Nice article! I really like how you broke it down for the hulls as well, I think many would only choose to write analyses for the turrets.  :ph34r: I don't fit description of Viking, Mammoth, Hornet, Isida, Twins, Railgun, Striker, or Shaft

 

 

I ro cry in corner  :(

Edited February 16, 2017 by Savage
cri cri

[Quarks 2,255]

LIES! ALL LIES! 

 

Epic job :D

well, you aren't respected

[Tofu 6,773]

well, you aren't respected

@Savage

[PracticeParkourStunt 2,542]

Hammer

 

Hammers are gamblers, risk takers, and adventure seekers. They only have three chances to get it right, but if they hit their mark, the reward is extremely satisfying. Hammers love trying new things, taking risks, and playing card games. It can be difficult to deal with a wild Hammer, however, the best bet for getting along is the Striker.

 

Viking

 

Vikings are a group of Norse men that raided villages and wore horned helmets. The end. Vikings are neutral and unopinionated, preferring to go with the flow. They often prefer the middle, rather than the two extremes. Be wary of any Vikings on your team as they are neutral and do not have any strong allegiances. Like Ricochet, Viking may stab you in the back at any moment. However, just like Ricochet, it has its benefits. Because of its neutrality, it cannot be easily swayed. They are not very gullible and tend to have their own opinions largely unchanged.

Wow, :D Looks like I am adventurously neutral. 

By the way, you do know that Vikings actually did not wear horned helmets?

[Crip 4,735]

Wow, :D Looks like I am adventurously neutral. 

By the way, you do know that Vikings actually did not wear horned helmets?

No, it's your most-used combination that you use to work out your personality.

 

You're Wasp/Railgun, which is basically a well-respected law-breaker :P

[NERF836 202]

 

Isida

 

Isidas are the healers on the sidelines. They are loyal and charitable, and love to help others. They are strong-willed and often do things for the greater good. However, they are often not brave enough to charge into enemy territory, instead, staying behind healing others. They are also very loving and are the second best bet for the tankwoman of your dreams. Isidas get along best on the battlefield with Vulcans.

 

Viking

 

Vikings are a group of Norse men that raided villages and wore horned helmets. The end. Vikings are neutral and unopinionated, preferring to go with the flow. They often prefer the middle, rather than the two extremes. Be wary of any Vikings on your team as they are neutral and do not have any strong allegiances. Like Ricochet, Viking may stab you in the back at any moment. However, just like Ricochet, it has its benefits. Because of its neutrality, it cannot be easily swayed. They are not very gullible and tend to have their own opinions largely unchanged.

 

 

That's me^

I may stab you in the back yet I am loyal o_O

[pieface101 285]

 

Isida

 

Isidas are the healers on the sidelines. They are loyal and charitable, and love to help others. They are strong-willed and often do things for the greater good. However, they are often not brave enough to charge into enemy territory, instead, staying behind healing others. They are also very loving and are the second best bet for the tankwoman of your dreams. Isidas get along best on the battlefield with Vulcans.

 

Viking

 

Vikings are a group of Norse men that raided villages and wore horned helmets. The end. Vikings are neutral and unopinionated, preferring to go with the flow. They often prefer the middle, rather than the two extremes. Be wary of any Vikings on your team as they are neutral and do not have any strong allegiances. Like Ricochet, Viking may stab you in the back at any moment. However, just like Ricochet, it has its benefits. Because of its neutrality, it cannot be easily swayed. They are not very gullible and tend to have their own opinions largely unchanged.

 

 

That's me^

I may stab you in the back yet I am loyal o_O

Inconclusive results. Must be experimental error.

 

Either that, or split personality disorder.

[Penguin40 1,714]

On my alt, I'm a Shaft-Viking, altho I'm really versatile and keep changing sniping spots or changing plans to what the situation orders. So Shaft would be a wrong description. Viking, yea right, I always prefer the middle as that's how the world works, it can't work in extremes! I do stick to allegiances, depending on who I see is right. Or sometimes I keep well away.

 

Over here, I'm a Wasp, altho I'm fairly lazy and not at all to the point :P So basically Wasp + Hornet. Turret? Smoky, Rail, Fire, Freeze. I'm in no way an extrovert, I'm an introvert (Freeze much?), who nowadays rarely has quarrels, loves being totally shifted to another extreme by words. As for Smoky, lol I don't get respect, am an underdog totally xd.

 

Rail? Eh, not the proud pro, maybe the humble pro. Also, why isn't there a third group in between followers and pros?

 

I don't have a good nuff Isida, but I do love helping out a lot! Heh...

[r_Aadi2471 9]

Isida

 Isidas are the healers on the sidelines. They are loyal and charitable, and love to help others. They are strong-willed and often do things for the greater good. However, they are often not brave enough to charge into enemy territory, instead, staying behind healing others. They are also very loving and are the second best bet for the tankwoman of your dreams. Isidas get along best on the battlefield with Vulcans.

 Viking

 Vikings are a group of Norse men that raided villages and wore horned helmets. The end. Vikings are neutral and unopinionated, preferring to go with the flow. They often prefer the middle, rather than the two extremes. Be wary of any Vikings on your team as they are neutral and do not have any strong allegiances. Like Ricochet, Viking may stab you in the back at any moment. However, just like Ricochet, it has its benefits. Because of its neutrality, it cannot be easily swayed. They are not very gullible and tend to have their own opinions largely unchanged.

That's me^

I may stab you in the back yet I am loyal o_O

This combination was my ex-favorite but my now my favorite combinations are Firebird-Viking & Rioechet-Viking.

[HAPPSHOT 2,029]

69 King <3

[NewbieCake 3,067]

When your combo is Isida/Mammoth ._.

[Phoenix.Raised 5,992]

Oh ZodTankiac signs :D