Contest [Issue 63] See Ya (Not) Tomorrow!

[r_KillAura7 15]

Well guys i am quitting tanki online. After playing so long time i am leaving. Need a reason ? look at this:

 

I vas in battle and my FPS vas less than 10. I triyed everithyng, i closed all programs, used CCleaner, reseted PC but tanki didnt make my FPS better. I contacted Tanki online customer service and provided all specifycations of my computer and problems. Preview of post:

 

Please describe your problem as detailed as possible.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Tanki Online is making my PC fps lower. I need to have my fps higer than 100 plisss help me. My PC  specifications:

 -Intel Pentium                                                   -64 GB of Hard drive space                                                         

 -Intel 480p Graphics                                         - Network speed: Download- 4 KbPs; Upload- 1 KbPs                    

 -Windows XP                                                    - I play tanki online on Internet Explorer (verry popular browser)     

 -1 GB of RAM                                                                                                                                                 

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But tanki online didnt listen to me. I triyed last step... I updated to Windows Vista... The problem became even bigger. 

After 10 days Tanki replied me with fully detailed e-mail. Previev:

____________________________________________________________________

I From:Tanki Online                                                                                           

I To: Kill Aura                                                                                                    

I  Subject: Pliss make my FPS bigger                                                                 

I ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I                                                                                                                       

I No.                                                                                                                 

I____________________________________________________________________

 

So guys i hope you wont do the same thing as me :( dont give up good bye 4ever

Edited April 28, 2017 by r_KillAura7

[M-axis 589]

What on earth...i just realised I have only one more day to complete this >:(

[M-axis 589]

                                                                          BREAKING NEWS:

 

Dear all,

 

   I am currently writing from a safehouse in Boombox. My life in is danger. As most of you would know, for years now, it has been my greatest dream to join the privileged and famed band of EN reporters. I did my uttermost best, producing top notch articles and research. But! I have uncovered a great threat to our Democratic country of TO. The reporters, have rebelled, and are secretly preparing to overthrow Cedric and the EN community. They call this 'Make Tanki Great Again!' 

 

 

I knew I had to stop this terrific rebellion, so I joined undercover. I also started nurrying around in the 'Anti-MTGA' group that had been founded by one whom had also seen the suspicious acts of the vile reporters. But sadly, I uncovered little, except that both parties are deviously wicked with plans to overtake our beloved TO! Eventually, I was discovered. My life is in danger, as is the life of my darling little one, @13th-Tanker. Why is this? Because my dear home of Dusseldorf is about to be blown up in flames by the Anti-MTGA! Plus the notaries Yisarolianito, President of MTGA, has sent agents to destroy me!

 

 

 

 

For this reason, dear readers, I am leaving tanki. I am sending this direct to the TO government, that they may take action! US Marshals, @Hate and   have been allocated to my safety, and as you read this, I am on a train to Island, where my Tank will be dumped, and I will be fleeing out of the TO Website. Forever.

 

All I ask of you all, readers of this Emergency Article, is that you no not remember me as a martyr, who gave up his valient life for the freedom and Democracy of TO. NO! You must instead, remember the countless other lives, none of whom ever got to tell their story, but where slowly extinguished by the brutal Reporters. You must act! If I ever come back to visit my homeland, I hope this is what I will see.

 

Goodbye, one last time. You will probably never see me again, but what counts, and what I will remember, is that you may see...

 

The Light of Day.

 

Farewell.

 

 Too Dramatic? Took me ages to get it done. Plus Yabin refused to boot me from the skype group, which would have been an awful piece of evidence :P   I did NOT copy Penguin. I had this idea going for some time. GL To all other participants :D

Edited April 27, 2017 by M-axis

[sre123 595]

Note: This may not be as humorous as the other entries. But still, I've tried my best. I'm not good in cracking jokes. :c

 

I'm leaving. The reason is my attraction towards the Tanki Heaven. Yes. You heard it right. Tanki has a heaven. I've heard it from none other than my friend , who read it from the holy book of tanks, "Tankika". He says that Tanki's heaven has got many angels and the most prominent among them are the Isida-Wasp angels. Yum.... I would love to be catered by these Isidas. He says that in the Tanki heaven, there are ponds where Godmode_On's saliva is flowing through. He says that I would be able to meet the legendary Semyon Kirov and Bruce Langa there! He has also promised me that there is a special place for XPers, which has increased my wish to go there! Moreover, I've been told by one of my other friends that my former best friend, HirunMeepage is still there! I would love to meet him! And, this is the reason why I am departing. I am going to suicide. I am going to burn myself in the flames of a firebird! I'm going to go to the Tanki Heaven! But..wait... I am not sure whether I'll go to the heaven or hell. But, after reading the "Tankika"- the holy book of tankers, I've understood that only those who have killed more than 50,000 tankers will go to hell! Wow! I've killed only 29k, which means that I'm sure to go to heaven! I'll be writing a reply to my friend I3.R.O once I reach heaven and then he will inform you guys! :D  And, this is the reason for my departure. 

 

Thank you for reading. :) 

[M-axis 589]

If its judged by likes, I win by a landslid :p

[ganesha-1 75]

I expected more jokes  :(

[Drazox 665]

I expected more jokes  :(

:(  :(  :(

[saurabhmann 509]

My Entry:
 

 

Good Bye People Of the TankiVerse !

It was a privilege Playing with you all Noobs!

 

The reason Why I m Leaving the Game is Because TankiOnline Has Become Too popular to Handle, there has been a recent Influx of Terrorists into the game, which has Promoted to Sabotages , Bugs and Errors in the game.
Players are Increasing in Geometric Progression , but Lags are increasing in Arithmetic Progression. :o
I have Used a Total of (3.16² + (36 / (√2.45)⁴) - 1) / 10==∞ Hours  playing this Game . So Farewell and Have a Good Future Ahead.

Gud Bai Laggers!

Keep Lagging!

See Ya (Not Tomorrow!

 

But If anyone is Wanna Do a Gold Rain, Please Tell me, I will come Online in the wake of Midnight. :wub:

Or

You will Find me Online Because From Today I will Change my Nickname and Start Playing 24 x 7 x ∞. :ph34r: