The Professor and The Nerd | Chapter One

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

 

One day, Dr. Borgstein, a pronounced professor in Tankiology and the way XP/BP affects the human as a whole mentally, was eating a tuna and jellyfish sandwich when suddenly, a large explosion of light erupted outside his kitchen window, which was followed by a loud BANG, which was followed by a very specific Hesky crashing through the now shattered window.

 

There was a couple of awkward moments of silence before one of the two finally spoke.

 

"Oh, hey Dr. Blopbeard." Hesky said rather casually. "I was just testing out this new feature I added onto my bike, when something went wrong..."

 

"You don't say?" Borgstein stared through the massive hole in his wall; the crash had totally destroyed the window, and replaced it wth a much larger hole. "Hmm, maybe I can just get a really big painting?"

 

"Yea, whatever Blisterback." Hesky said, waving his arm in from of Borgstein's face while examining his bike with full concentration, indicating to Borgstein to go away. "Oh wait, no. That was rude. Sorry, Burphead."

 

"Oh, it isn't such a big deal." Borgstein fluttered.

 

"Nah. Really." Hesky denied. "How about I make it up to you with a ride on the back seat of my bike to my secret headquarters, where I build all my pocket knives and lock picking tools out of spare soda cans? After I'm done repairing my bike, that is."

 

Hesky was known for having those weird hobbies. He'd go around snatching classmates' empty soda cans to cut them up with knives he stole from the teachers desk, in the drawer of mysterious things which were believed never to be seen again once in the hands of the teacher, and make lock picking tools out of them to break back into the classroom to annoy his teachers after they kicked him out.

 

"Um... I don't know, I sort of–"
 

"–Okey, great!" Hesky cheered excitedly. "Now, Brickbrain, go back in there and finish eating that... thing. I'll call you out when I'm done."

 

"But... Oh, whatever." Borgstein decided it couldn't be that bad. Right? RIGHT?

 

* * *

After an hour or so of intensive clanking and banging sounding from Borgstein's kitchen, Hesky was done repairing his garbage bike he almost certainly found in the dump.

 

"Tada!" He yelled, to no one. His bike was covered with loose screws and duct tape, which for some reason wasn't sticking to well. The wheels were popped, but that's how they probably came, and it seemed that every time he repaired his bike, which was quite often, he would add a new-old funky horn to the handlebars. This time it was a moose-head shaped horn that 'moo'ed when you smashed it.

 

"Bitterbark, you ready to take this baby for a spin?" Hesky called out to the living room, where Borgstein was fast asleep. "BOBBLEHEAD!" Hesky screamed.

 

"Wha... Wh... What?" Borgstein woke up and jumped up into a salute position. "Reporting for duty, Sir Marshmallow the Third!"

"Um, Bibface?" Hesky called. "You're living in your dream, now snap outta it and come take a ride on my bike."

 

"What bike?"

"This bike!"

 

"Oh, that bike..." Borgstein nodded his head. "Where?"

 

"Oh my goodness!" Hesky yelled. "Just sit here."

 

Borgstein sat on the back seat, and Hesky immediately followed, sitting on the front seat. Hesky flipped the biggest switch on the bike and engines began rumbling.

 

"Are you ready?!" Hesky yelled over the roaring engines.

 

"No!"

 

"'Go'?!" Hesky yelled, obviously mishearing Borgstein. "Whatever you say, Bad Breath! GOOOO!"

Hesky zipped through the gears and off the bike flew. It zoomed out the house and down the street, out into the main street.

 

* * *

 

After hours of horrifying cycling for Borgstein, Hesky came to a stop, at the city dump.

 

"Did you run out of bubble bath soap which you somehow use as gas?" Borgstein suggested.

 

"Don't be ridiculous! I never run out of bubble bath." Hesky said, disgracefully. "We're here."

"This is your headquarters?"

"You got it!" Hesky grinned, anticipating Borgstein's astonishment. "Come on, let's go!"

 

It was already nightfall as the two creaked open the large metallic gate of the city dump. It stunk like skunk, and had towers of garbage bags as high as an average building. They walked through the stinky yard of trash and examined broken objects as they passed by them. A hoarders dreamland. Hesky's dreamland.

 

"Shush!" Hesky stopped in his track. "I hear footsteps."

"So?" Borgstein asked. "Can't it just be another group of weirdos who snuck out to the dump to visit their secret headquarters?"

 

"No." Hesky rejected the possibility hastily. "No one ever comes here this late. I know, I practically live here."

 

"No wonder you stink."

 

"Shhh!"

 

A shadow lurked out from behind a pile of garbage bags. A tall fellow with hair falling out of his scalp and teeth sticking out of his mouth in all directions. He was none other than Bryan. A guy who's known among the children of the city as a homeless mentally ******ed dude, who makes his way in life by carrying 20 bags in either hand and walking from bus stop to bus stop screaming at folks who don't put sun screen on their neck in the winter. He would board the bus with no change whatsoever and put on a riot for the bus driver about how the tickets are too overpriced these days.

 

"Bryan, leave us now, or I'll unleash my amazingly awesome totally rad super duper constructive powers on you!" Hesky jumped out in front of Bryan, feeling tough and strong, obviously looking quite weak and puny.

 

"Yo, kid, shut it!" Bryan yelled, though in a rather bored and dull voice. "I can beat you, and your big professor friend any day."

 

"He probably could beat you up though." Borgstein whispered to Hesky. "You're kinda weak."

 

"Three..." Hesky began counting down to total doom. "Two..."

 

"One." Bryan said and whipped out a pistol, aiming it at Hesky.

 

"I'm not scared!" Hesky called out to Bryan, who was still standing quite far away from him. Around twenty feet. "Bookers, I'm scared." Hesky gritted through his teeth to Borgstein.

 

Borgstein took a step forward, and slowly began walking toward Bryan, until he was only a foot in front of his nose. Borgstein stuck his hand into the pocket of his old worn out coat, and pulled out a half eaten tuna and jellyfish sandwich.

 

"Take this," he outstretched his arm with the sandwich in his hand. "and leave us."

 

"Oh... Oh, you're good, Bogstein." Bryan laughed unhappily. "You're good, but you won't be so good next time. Oh, you'll see."

Bryan snatched the sandwich out of Borgstein's hands and stuck it in his mouth for safekeeping. He clapped his hands three times and suddenly, out of the dark night sky, a helicopter swooped in and hovered over the garbage dump, its lights searching.

 

"Well, that's my lift!!" Bryan yelled over the helicopters blasting propellers.

 

A rope ladder dropped. Bryan picked all his bags up in one hand, and climbed up the ladder with another.

 

"See you tomorrow!" He yelled from the top of the ladder, right before jumping in and flying off, leaving Dr. Borgstein and Hesky in the darkness, quite alone.

 

 

#6699FF

Edited April 3, 2017 by TriNitroToIuene

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Disclaimer: This story makes no sense.

[BRO0088 1,724]

Disclaimer: This story makes no sense.

It never makes sense xDD

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

Disclaimer: This story makes no sense.

Most accurate description I've seen yet

[Penguin40 1,714]

Disclaimer: This story makes no sense.

It will if you continue Rabbit Tanker :p

 

Jokes aside, nice yet nonsensical yet awesome job Rabin, did well on making me laugh :D OH WAIT how can you post in AWC?!

Edited April 3, 2017 by Penguin40

[Kian 242]

Disclaimer: This story makes no sense.

[HAPPSHOT 2,029]

Awesome

[Tofu 6,773]

Disclaimer: This story makes no sense.

Nothing more was expected

[Viking4s 10,791]

Disclaimer: This story is written in electric blue O.o

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

It will if you continue Rabbit Tanker :P

 

Jokes aside, nice yet nonsensical yet awesome job Rabin, did well on making me laugh :D OH WAIT how can you post in AWC?!

Thanks :P

 

And, if I can hide in Amateur Writing Section, I think I can post here too. :cool: But honestly,  yea, I can, it should won't get entered in any "Best of Amateur Writing" contests, obviously.

 

 

Me too. ;)

 

Disclaimer: This story is written in electric blue O.o

Meepz.

Edited April 3, 2017 by Yisroel.Rabin

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

It will if you continue Rabbit Tanker :P

 

Jokes aside, nice yet nonsensical yet awesome job Rabin, did well on making me laugh :D OH WAIT how can you post in AWC?!

:ph34r: We can all post in AWC as Reporters; there's no rule against it from administration and/or AWC Helpers. It's just that generally there's no reason to post in AWC, since we tend to write things so that they are suitable for Newspaper usage. 

 

However, Reporters's articles in the Amateur Writing section are not eligible for prizes or contests of any sort.

Edited April 3, 2017 by Blackdrakon30

[Kuhaku 87]

ok like really, I start scrolling down and I keep seeing the same post over and over lol, good story, but I would reread it a couple times and see for yourself it makes sense to you.

[personia 4,036]

I sense some sexual tension between the professor and the nerd.

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

ok like really, I start scrolling down and I keep seeing the same post over and over lol, good story, but I would reread it a couple times and see for yourself it makes sense to you.

It doesn't make sense. I know it doesn't.

 

I sense some sexual tension between the professor and the nerd.

[personia 4,036]

 

 

Edited April 5, 2017 by Yisroel.Rabin
Added spoiler so this doesn't look like a meme war.

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

meme

:lol: I really like this one.

[TheContractKiller_GT 374]

Disclaimer: This story makes no sense.

THIS sentence make sense

[Guest]

YAY

[fe4f3 1,002]

Woah, this story makes sense. (But a bad one)

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Woah, this story makes sense. (But a bad one)

[pieface101 285]