Other [Issue 64] Answered: Your Hottest Questions!

[Crip 4,735]

 

 

 

Welcome, welcome! You have reached the "Other" section of the Newspaper, full of articles that the Administrators have simply given up trying to classify correctly. Well, for once it seems that one of my articles appears to have ended up in the same area as @Yisroel.Rabin's works (cringeworthy, I know). You might all be thinking "Is the mighty @Savage scraping his brain frantically for an interesting article subject?" The answer is a resounding yes, send help no, I am simply here to answer a few of the questions which have puzzled Tanki players since the dawn of time.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Introduction

 

Let's get the first question out of the way now. Why write this article in the first place? Why am I (@Savage) actually going out of my way (for once) to help the common tanker? The answer, my dear reader, is money is that I felt like it was time to explore these questions for myself and formulate some theories and collect ideas. Eventually after much hard work poring over old documents and digging around in a fruitless attempt to recover information, I struck gold as several things appeared, shedding light on some of the questions that I will provide answers for in this article. Here is a picture of the exact moment that I located this hidden information.

 

Yes, Gold Boxes can sometimes telepathically send you information instead of 1000 crystals.

 

On a more serious note, let's actually begin to look into these 10 questions. I guarantee you will finish this article feeling much more enlightened on several puzzling topics. Do not stop reading pls pls!

 

 

#1: Who is Godmode_ON?

Submitted by the majority

 

Possibly the biggest question in the whole of Tanki Online. Who is the man behind the tank? Is he truly immortal? Is he actually a god? There are so many rumours and theories about @Godmode_ON's actual name and origin, most of them fake. If you visit a lower ranked sever, such as EN6, you'll notice that if his almighty name is mentioned the whole server will begin to tag him desperately, as if begging for some of his immortality to be "transferred" from him to them. Older and more experienced tankers spin yarns about this legend, keeping an enviable audience (probably a larger one than will read this article) entertained with stories of his majestic power.

 

- Known Facts

 

About His Past:

• According to his Forum profile, Godmode registered on the 13th of December, 1901. This makes him well over 100 years old.
• On the old RU Forum, Godmode's profile showed that he had registered on the date of the Chernobyl Nuclear disaster. Possible explanation of his origin?

About His Equipment:

• Mammoth M3 is always used, and the turret he uses is either Twins or Thunder M3.
• He has access to other equipment as well however, because there has been a video of him with M2 Dictator/Hammer.
• His original paint was known as "Devil" and it provided 88% protection from all weapons, though not including mines.

About His Abilities:

• He can change rank like other developers.
• He does not seem to be affected by Smart Cooldowns or Regular Cooldowns on Supplies. This renders him essentially invincible.
• He only plays in Deathmatches, and attempts to get all players to team against him.

 

So, aside from these facts, what else do we actually know to be true? Here is a brief history of the legend himself.

 

- History

 

Godmode himself first appeared during the 2013 celebrations of Halloween. Tankers who viewed the announcement topic were told that a mysterious tank cloaked in a blood-red paint would be roaming the Tanki world during the festivities. At the time, they were not given a name. But as tankers entered the game, they noticed new writing scrawled across buildings, written in the same blood-red as the paint of the mysterious tank.

 

 

Players eagerly searched for this mystery figure, and a few were rewarded with glimpses of Godmode during battles. At the time, Godmode used Mammoth and Twins M3, occasionally switching to use Thunder M3. His ability to change rank from Lieutenant Colonel () to Generalissimo () did not affect his equipment, and it took an incredible amount of power to bring him down. Once the beast was slain, 3 Gold Boxes would drop. Because of this, many players took up the sport of "Godmode Hunting" and scoured whole servers in the hope of finding him.

 

His near-immortal tank, paint and his mysterious ways engraved him into Tanki mythology very quickly. He became the "boogie-man" of Tanki, and Tanki mothers would warn their children that they would call Godmode unless they behaved and stopped using drugs.

 

Not really, but he definitely made a lasting impression on many tankers so that even today people still talk about him in with respect and admiration. Then, just when the hype was beginning to die down, the man himself made an appearance to renew all the interest. A special video was posted, showing the shadow of a man who spoke in an abnormally deep voice. In the video, Godmode answered a few questions before revealing that he was switching his paint (and increasing the protections). He also added that his original paint would be available to try (though without the protection) as a holiday paint, pleasing many players.

 

From that point onwards, Godmode only used his new paint (though he did change his equipment, as some Youtube videos show him using Thunder and Mammoth XT, rather than the regular versions).

 

Actually there has been more recent activity and 1 sighting. Our Reporter @Yisroel.Rabin recorded the action here, in last month's issue of The Dictator. According to rumours, Godmode was spotted at a MacDonalds drive-thru. However, since these rumours have not been officially confirmed as true, we shall not treat them as facts. However, in the following section we discuss a startling possibility.

 

- Who is He?

 

Aside from the more obvious people that could be Godmode, let's look at someone who has not been viewed by anyone as anything other than a mult. However, could this all be part of a larger scheme to keep Godmode's real identity hidden, by simply double-bluffing and pretending to be bad at the game? Could it be @Blackdrakon30? We can only speculate, but I am positive that this kind of tactic would not have slipped by people as intelligent and resourcful as our Developers.

 

Evidence:

• Both use Twins and Mammoth a lot.
• Both can be seen sitting quietly in the background while a Gold is dropping (clearly not because BD30 is too fat to catch anything).
• Both throw down Supplies like they're going out of fashion.

But the largest piece of evidence comes below, as a slight error by BD30 could possibly have left his true identity exposed.

 

Clearly he pressed the wrong button.

 

 

Is he actually @Godmode_ON? Maybe it will never been confirmed for sure.

 

 

#2: What do Admins actually do and where are they from?

Submitted by the majority

 

A common myth among Tankers is that Administrators of the game "Admins" drop Gold (hence why many players beg the "Admin" for a Gold Box during battles). Another belief is that "Admins" are responsible for the new updates and regardless of whether the update is bad or not, mountains of hate are always sent in the direction of the poor Administrators.

 

Both beliefs are incorrect and (the first especially, because all Admins hoard their Gold Boxes) are as far away from the truth as they could be.

 

Right? No, wrong.

 

Administrators are simply hard-working individuals with a large desire to help the Tanki Community. They all constantly strive to make the game environment better, as well as making sure that all Tanki Rules are upheld at all times. Their roles vary (as you should know). They are not all Chat Administrators, contrary to popular belief among the ordinary tankers.

 

Some players believe that Admins are all based in Russia. This is incorrect, as this defines the Tanki Developer Team. Administrators come from all over the whole world.

 

Regardless, forumers should know all this (being more intelligent than regular tankers etc etc).

 

#3: Speaking of Admins, what exactly is Ostrica?

Submitted by

 

The common tanker must hear a lot about this outcast of society hardworking individual who passes under the inconspicuous name of . This mysterious Chat Administrator roams the Tanki world, making sure that true justice is upheld at all times. However, no one actually knows for sure what is. Players have made fruitless attempts to discover what lies behind the mask of grim determination. None have ever returned. Regardless, there is a lot more to this Administrator than meets the eye. Here are some interesting facts about our Chat Admin.

 

 

 

- Interesting Ostrica Facts

• For a start, "Ostrica" is an Italian word. It means "oyster". Bet you didn't know that.
• Ostrica refuses to reveal his/her true gender (if possible, this is explored later). Instead, "it" is preferred.
• Ostrica has an uncanny ability to be summoned at the brief mention of its name. This has been illustrated several times on the "Happy Dragons" clan page.
• Whenever the word "potato" is mentioned, it tends to send Ostrica into fits of ecstasy. An explanation is looked at below.

Now, let's take a look at some possible theories and explore whether how reasonable they are.

 

Could be an ostrich, a potato or...@Godmode_ON?!

 

- 1: Ostrica is an Ostrich

 

This is a common one because after all, both begin with "Ostic". Therefore, logic would reason that our Chat Admin simply took the word "ostrich" and made it more feminine-looking.

 

Reasons For:

• can race between servers and forums at a single word. Ostrich-like speed is required to do so.
• Both words begin with the same letters.
• Both ostriches and eat everything in sight, especially violators.
• mains Hornet which is fast - like an ostrich.
• Ostriches are flightless, which matches up with the fact that does not use fly hacks.

Reasons Against:

• Ostrica, as you now should know by now, means "oyster". It isn't connected to ostrich.
• Ostriches have very small brains, and we all know the depth of our Chat Administrator's intelligence.
• itself has never openly hinted that this theory could be true.

Possibility: Medium - There are a lot of reasons why our Chat Admin could be an ostrich, and most of the evidence points to this conclusion. However, the biggest flaw comes in the form of itself(?). It has never mentioned anything about its family being ostriches, so this theory may not be correct.

 

- 2: Ostrica is Simply a Human

 

Many people automatically assume that is a female woman (Tanker logic - All names that end with "a" are names for a girl), but reports have largely shown that this is all a theory, not proven fact. Although most of Tanki (and probably most of the Helper Team) believe that is a human, it has never been officially confirmed. Perhaps the other Administrators know his/her/its true identity, but it has been carefully concealed from the general Tanki Public.

 

Reasons For:

• Everyone knows that only humans are capable of performing a role such as the one holds. Right? Well, not necessarily...
• General conclusion is that this theory is correct.

Reasons Against:

• itself has denied being human, or being related to humans.
• "Ostrica" (oyster) does not relate to anything human.
• performs its duties with an inhuman uniform routine, day after day.

Possibility: Low - The fact that itself has stated that it is not human disproves this theory, regardless of what the general overall thought it in the Community. Moving swiftly on...

 

 

- 3: Ostrica is a Potato

 

An interesting concept to say the least, and it hardly sounds particularly reasonable. But in fact, recent interviews with the Chat Admin in question have revealed it hinting about its ancestry. Of course, if is in fact a potato, there is then the question of potato variety. A whole new world is unlocked.

 

's possible type of potato? (Red = Flame Paint and Gold = Gold Box?)

 

Reasons For:

• goes into a mysterious trance whenever the word "potato" is mentioned.
• This could be the reason why the Admin is so ruthless, as many (if not all) tankers have eaten some form of potato at one point. Maybe it's a vendetta.
• It has hinted itself about its possible potato origins several times.
• There is a type of potato (shown above) called "Red Gold". Possibly the start of the whole "admin drop gold"?

Reasons Against:

• must be a cannibal, as I am sure every tanker eats (and likes) potato-based foods.
• A potato does not have a brain.
• Hence, potatos aren't renowned for their intelligence.

Possibility: Medium - The discovery of the potato variety above has raised some interesting discussions, but the fact that potatos cannot actually move does not help to back this theory up.

 

 

- 4: Ostrica is @Godmode_ON

 

Possibly the most interesting theory out of the four we have seen, this possibly explains the fact that is so reluctant to reveal its true identity. I mean, forget the fact that the @Godmode_ON had a male voice. has never confirmed her/his/its gender either.

 

Reasons For:

• Both have not revealed true identities.
• Both rarely play Tanki (anymore anyway).
• Admins drop gold in many Tankers' eyes, and so does Godmode.
• Godmode's ruthless destruction is similar to 's relentless patrol of justice.

Reasons Against:

• has never used Mammoth or Twins, which are Godmode's preferred weapons.
• Admin prefers speed over hulking HP, contrasting to Godmode's preferences.

Possibility: High - Even though this is just a theory, it is the most plausible. The mystery behind these two tankers could simply be that the same person is behind two screens? Regardless, do take this with a pinch of salt.

 

Which theory sounds the most reasonable to you?

 

 

#4: Who is responsible for the new updates?

Submitted by @Viking4s

 

Yes, we all seem to love to blame the poor old Administrators for everything. Whenever there is a new update that is not liked by the Tanki Community, entire servers will draw swords and attack the nearest "admins". Like true heroes though, the Administrators calmly bear any onslaughts of abuse, taking the blame about these new updates that ought to have been laid on other people.

 

Another person that players often like to attack when an update is not to their liking is our CM, @Cedric Debono. There are often many annoyed messages directed at him when the community is displeased. However, Cedric is in no way responsible for anything that comes out of or goes into the game. He can merely offer advice and suggestions.

 

If you want to lay the blame on someone, try @Yisroel.Rabin.

 

#5: What is our CM Cedric's background?

Submitted by the majority

 

Have you ever wondered where our CM, the honourable @Cedric Debono came from? How and why he originally came to Tanki Online? What about even further back, to his darkest origins? Who and what is Cedric?

 

Well, the answer to this question is far from straightforward. We all know the story of him allegedly being a writer, as he has said on his FAQ on the "Cedric's Virtual Office" page. He is apparently Maltese (although this has never been officially confirmed. We have our suspicions about Cedric's mysterious origins, and some possible explanations have been submitted by fellow players. Here are some of the more interesting ones.

 

Lies, all lies.

 

#1: Cedric is a Descendant of Corto Maltese

Submitted by

 

If you don't know who this person is, then shame on you. Corto was in fact a character in a comic series, a sea-captain born in the early 19th century. Interestingly, he was born in Malta, as the surname suggests. Could Cedric somehow be a descendant of this legendary figure? Their names start with the same letter after all.

 

Food for thought indeed.

 

#2: Cedric is Cedric Diggory?

Submitted by

 

Cedric Diggory is a character from the "Harry Potter" series, a young wizard who supposedly dies during the "Goblet of Fire". However, could he somehow have survived? After all, their first names are the same. Take a look at the picture below.

 

 

The birthday of Cedric Diggory would mean that he would be only 1 year older than our CM, and the birthdays fit. Coincidence or otherwise? Possibly there was a 1 year time lapse while Cedric Diggory was in some sort of hibernation after his supposed death, and then was somehow "resurrected"?

 

#3: Cedric is Severus Snape?

Submitted by @Yisroel.Rabin

 

A very interesting theory (and another Harry Potter based one, our Reporters clearly don't get out much). As we know (or should know, if you read), Severus Snape is a half-wizard from the Harry Potter series. You might be thinking "Hey, Snape is dead?!". Ah, but that is where you (and J.K. Rowling) might be wrong. For we have a picture here which just might prove the exact opposite to be true.

 

Do you see Kasim and Cedric planning out a normal Tanki day, or Severus and Victor plotting their next vile move?

 

@Yisroel.Rabin risked life and limb to get that picture, and as you can see, his work was not in vain. The likeness between the shown characters and our Community Managers is remarkable.

 

#4: Cedric is @Godmode_ON

Submitted by @Viking4s

 

We have already concluded that or @Blackdrakon30 is Godmode. We don't need a third candidate to confuse everything even more, thanks.

 

#6: What actually happened to Semyon?

Submitted by the majority

 

Yes, many of us miss our ex-CM, . His exiting of Tanki was very shocking to many at the time, and I have no doubt that there are some who still wear black armbands in remembrance of this great Tanki figure.

 

But what if I told you what Semyon really did after he "left" Tanki Online? Did he leave, or was he shipped off to AWC far-off Siberia like the late ?

 

The final resting place for many of Tanki's ex-helpers, a small hut in Siberia.

 

According to rumours however (if they are to be considered as valid or not), Semyon managed to escape from his prison in Siberia and make the journey towards home. However, according to some recent findings, Semyon decided to take action and repay Tanki for what they had done to him.

 

The next day, the RU Forum data vanished into cyberspace, causing a developer meltdown and a drastic rethink for the Forum. Could Semyon have been behind this? Who knows for sure?

 

#7: Are we Reporters actually paid?

Submitted by the majority

 

Ah, this is a very interesting topic. The true answer has been much-sought after, and now it is finally time to shed some light on the subject. A Reporter is paid approximately

 

[This section of the article has been redacted due to the potential release of confidential material. Those responsible for the breach have been severely punished. Apologies for the confusion.]

= @TheZigzagoonThatCan =

 

 

#8: Will Cedric ever cut his hair?

Submitted by the wife of @Cedric Debono

 

The Evolution of the Hair from left to right: Past, Present and the Future perhaps?

 

Unfortunately, even after much questioning, this mystery still remains unsolved. Even our beloved CM himself cannot say for sure if a razor will ever touch his beautiful locks again. Maybe it's a superstition? Cedric might have some strange belief that Tanki will die on the day that his fair finally gets cut?

 

No one knows for sure.

 

#9: Gold pls Admin?

Submitted by @GoldRock

 

The answer to this question is always in the negative. Admins hoard their golds and drop them for each other in private battles.

 

#10: Why are Savages not Savage nowadays?

Submitted by

 

To answer this question, we have to look at the scientific principle of Diffusion. "What is Diffusion?" you might ask? Well, here is the definition straight from Google my brain.

 

"Diffusion is the net movement of molecules or atoms from a region of high concentration (or high chemical potential) to a region of low concentration (or low chemical potential). This is also referred to as the movement of a substance down a concentration gradient."

 

So in essence, what is actually happening is shown in the diagram below.

 

 

So yes, over time I am gradually losing my savageness to my surroundings (because substances move down a concentration gradient etc etc). Be glad, you might end up being slightly savage one day, all because of me.

 

 

Conclusion

 

And there you have it! We have reached the end of the article! I hope you can come away feeling slightly more knowledgeable (preferably the correct knowledge as well), and that you took the information in this article with a pinch of salt (it's @Yisroel.Rabin and his dodgy reporting, what else can you expect?).

 

Hopefully it was an enjoyable read to some (completely different to my usual serious guides).

 

So now, if any of these questions discussed above are asked of you, you will always have an answer for them! Thank me later!

 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Is Cedric really who he says he is? Which of the 3 (possible) candidates is @Godmode_ON?

Is a potato?

 

What do you think?

 

 

 

 

[sre123 595]

I loved the Krum and Snape part!  :wub:  :wub:  :wub:

Edited May 6, 2017 by sre123

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

Lmao. Finally a Reporter article that isn't non-funny (no offence :ph34r:). This is genuine humour, great article!

[lukey0 27,543]

Nice. :LOL:

[Taco 2,820]

The perfect balance between professionalism and hilarity, well done!  :D

[Capable 4,614]

Lmao. Nice! Well written

 

From this I have concluded that Ostrica is a potato

Edited May 6, 2017 by Capable

[Destrod 2,634]

The climax of Savagery!

[X_Death.By.Me_X 1,503]

I can't believe you just wrote something funny jason

[Crip 4,735]

The climax of Savagery!

Yup, I've peaked.

[Viking4s 10,791]

There is no confusion, k, "Cedric is Godmode_ON" !

The proof is simple: Cedric Debono is the anagram of I'm Godmode_ON

The other candidates claims are based on fabricated evidence.
 

Edited May 6, 2017 by Viking4s

[Moraine 5,877]

Lmao. Nice! Well written

 

From this I have concluded that Ostrica is a potato

But he missed my true type: Purple Viking ! The proof is that I used to play with Viking for years, until I switched to Hornet since Viking was too slow to allow me to capture the flag in Kungur... And as everyone knows, I hate the purple of Helper since it reminds me of my own skin too much so I always refused Best Helper title in the past  ;)

 

And please... "When we give Purple Viking to someone, they always come back for more" :D

[Hate 5,582]

You can easily tell how much work has been invested into this, magnificently good, tremendous work indeed, learned new info about the potatos as well.  :D

[Ninja 10,468]

This is gold. :lol:

[arnav0506 2,777]

This is gold. :lol:

Admin gold plz

 

Anyways :ph34r: savage article, @Savage! Very well written!

 

Edited May 6, 2017 by arnav0506

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

:ph34r: No comment  :ph34r: 

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

There is no confusion, k,

The proof is simple: Cedric Debono is the anagram of I'm Godmode_ON

 

Sounds about right.

[Aphrodite 31]

I loved it ^_^

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

Lmao. Finally a Reporter article that isn't non-funny (no offence :ph34r:). This is genuine humour, great article!

I take offense.

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

I take offense.

:rolleyes:

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

:rolleyes:

:ccc

 

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

:ccc

Wasn't only referring to you, Yissy. :P

[Zenyth 6,494]

the last one's not even savage dude

and you reversed the gradient

no apology required

[Cortana 4,601]

Jason is bae

[Musa 5,352]

Nice article.

 

And Cedric isn't Godmode_ON -_-

[HAPPSHOT 2,029]

How many times did shed whip your back? xDD