Review [Issue 67] The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

[Hex 11,520]

 

Hello people of the Tankiverse! As you all readers might already know, a lot of Reporters wrote a one-off article in the past in which they opinionated on different aspects of the game, mainly to do with its beauty, ugliness and so on. As usual - following the tradition, today I'll be looking at three of the most beautiful, the mediocre and the most ugly turrets, hulls and paints in the game. Note that these lists aren't in any order, so to me, all of the components I mention are relatively of the same beauty.

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- The Good -

 

Turrets:

 

We'll start off the 'The Good' list with the most beautiful turret and then onto hulls and paints. Thus, first up, it's turrets. These components of the game have been altered throughout the years, and have undergone so many balance changes that it's frankly quite impossible to remember what happened when. However, only a few turrets have been able to provide that look which mesmerizes us all when they came into being. Without further ado, here are those turrets:

 

 

 

The most beautiful turrets in my opinion are Striker, Vulcan and undoubtedly Firebird. When Striker was launched recently, somewhere in end of 2016, my jaw literally dropped so hard, it ached afterwards. I was completely mesmerized by the fact that someone can take an idea posted somewhere by someone and bring that into life with such great complexity and carefulness. If you look at Striker, you'll see that it sort of looks "angry" when seen from the top or such as shown above. That really matches quite well with it's ability to literally rain rockets on enemies. It has the perfect size and the perfect amount of inlets/outlets, which help it in looking more dangerous.

 

Vulcan on the other hand has a completely different story. There aren't as many light-shaded parts on Vulcan as there are on Striker, but doesn't lower is beauty. What's more is that Vulcan's unique feature, its animation of the spinning barrel once it gets pooled up, adds more to the realness of the turret. The thing I love the most about this turret is the proportionality of gray and white parts on it - majority of which is gray, which further makes Vulcan look dangerous and sort of pugnacious.

 

Last but not least, the most beautifully designed turret in my opinion... Firebird! If you just look at it, you can feel the burning sensation inside it. Not only it's hot - by the way, no puns intended - like heck, it also looks extremely fierce owing to the converging design of its rear end. It's literally amazing.

 

 

Hulls:

 

Next on the list are hulls - a component of the game which not only renders your entire gameplay, but also makes it depend entirely on it. Hulls have always been a debatable part of the game, especially all the arguments between Wasp or Hornet, which by the way is a completely good thing - it's nice to see the advantages of the other object. However, in this article's eyes, hulls are not ranked by their abilities, they're ranked by beauty. So, let's see which hull is the most pretty.

 

 

 

For me - and I think a lot of others will agree on this - the most "attractive" of hulls have to be Viking, Hornet and Hunter, with the most beautiful being Hunter. This is because Hunter has one feature no other hull has, and even if they do, it's negligibly small or very little. Yes, I'm talking about Hunter's air inlets located on it's front-end's sides. These match up perfectly with the armor plating on the side as well as the deep location of it's lights.

 

Moving on, lemme just tell you that I absolutely love Viking's armor plating on its sides. The way it comes forward by growing bigger from the back to the front is just amazing - and matches perfectly with its thin and long shape.

 

Last but not least, Hornet. Everything about Hornet is just amazing, be it's ferocious headlights, carbon fiber exterior and the polygonal armor plating on the sides. What's even better about Hornet is that any turrets looks good with it, even the ugliest and longest ones. This is because the turret placement is slight off-centered to the back, which not only makes longer turrets seem less longer and weird, but also helps lots in doing the 'Peek-a-boo' tactic.

 

 

Paints:

 

Last but not least on 'The Good' list are paints, which after the paint and module separation update, got an entirely new aspect for themselves. Paints not only give you your looks in the battle, they also can be the difference between life and death, especially when it comes to being camouflaged. In this article however, I'll be looking at three of the most beautiful paints in my opinion; so here they are:

 

 

 

That's right, they're Frost, Ruby and Impulse. I can't really decide on which one of these is the best-looking paint, but I guess I'll go with Ruby - mainly because of the color theme it's based upon. I mean, okay, Cherry is a lot like Ruby too, but lacks a definite pattern and doesn't feel appealing to the eye when you take the fact that it unlocks at lower ranks. Ruby, however, doesn't unlock at all. It's the paint privileged only to forum moderators, who roam around in the forum while keeping it clean and healthy. The main reason why I love this paint's look is because of its dark tint, and then a lighter shade on top of it. First of all, dark paints look amazing when you combine them with the shine and glitter of XTs. Plus, as I said, the lighter shade helps lift your tank up a bit while the darker tint makes sure it feels appealing to see.

 

But that doesn't mean that Frost looks uglier than Ruby. They're kinda the same - like I said, the darker tint behind the glowing crystals of Frost makes it look amazing. People say that it has quite a hefty price, but honestly, I'll grab that the second it's on sale.

 

Lastly, the reason why Impulse is so beautiful is because of the chip pattern engraved on it. Microchip, the paint given to Facebook moderators is almost the same, but it's orange theme is nothing compared to the blue and purple one of Impulse. The intricate lines zig-zagging around your tank when you're wearing this paint is quite mesmerizing to watch, and looks amazing too. However, do note that this paint is not available for purchase, and can only be achieved through winning a tournament with it as a prize.

 

 

--- The Bad ---

 

Turrets:

 

Moving onto the list of somewhat beautiful turrets, we have Hammer, Railgun and Magnum.

 

To me, Hammer and Ricochet both look a bit beautiful, considering Hammer is the only turret to have that much white parts on it, while Ricochet is the only turret to have a screen and red lighting on it. However, Hammer's design is more "energetic" than Ricochet's, making it look like it's angry and ready for anyone. It's like most turrets, who have a bulky rear end while a nozzle popping out of the front. What's more is that Hammer has this metal arch over the main turret, which would probably be its aiming sights.

 

Railgun, on the other hand, only gets left out of the most beautiful turret because its name doesn't agree with its design. If Railgun were to have two barrels on each side like Isida, and the energy beam would shoot out of the middle, it would make Railgun extremely cool to use or even look at. Moreover, the pipes on the back of the turret match in perfectly with the grey and white parts on the front, making it more appealing.

 

Lastly, the only reason I put Magnum here is because of the chemistry between its barrel and the base. It has a relatively small base, unlike real life artillery cannons. But, what makes it worth is the rear end of its barrel, which progressively gets smaller and smaller until the muzzle, which itself has three etches to refuse smoke and heat. All in all, Magnum looks really good with XTs when combined with a dark-tinted paint, like Ruby, Frost, Lumberjack or so.

 

 

Hulls:

 

As for hulls...

 

Titan is my next favorite hull in terms of beauty. Titan has the perfect proportions of height and mass, and when you combine these with the several inlets and outlets it has on its body, it becomes more beautiful, but just falls behind the most beautiful hulls. One more thing I like about Titan is how its rear and front ends are declining towards the ground, while the middle is straight and level. It's also the only hull to have lights on the very front ends above it's tracks. Every other hull has them in the middle or behind the front ends.

 

Mammoth is also a beautiful hull - even if it can't win a race versus your grandma, it still has the looks owing to its complex steel plating on the sides and the back.  Just like Titan, I like how the front end of the hull is really bulky, while the rear end is not only small but also declining in negative angles.

 

Dictator, for me, is probably on the sixth place in terms of hulls' beauty. Even though you can use its height and ability to easily get onto someone to take Gold Boxes, I really don't like its huge buff in the middle and then the thin track sections pointing out from the middle. What's more is that its shape hasn't been made a cuboid, meaning that it has a rectangular hit-box, despite its triangular shape.

 

 

Paints:

 

 

Well, choosing just three bad paints was like judging a winner from a hundred thousand people on which one can 'Hello!' the best. I know, right? Bad example, but still...

 

To me, Chainmail, Roger and Birdwatcher are three of the ugliest paints in existence, but not enough to beat the most ugliest paints. Chainmail is just way too dark; and funnily enough, has a dark texture over a dark texture, making it look even more ugly. Contradictory to the helmet shown in it's preview, Chainmail isn't shiny at all  - it's more of a rusted, old piece of medieval equipment some knight used to wear a long time ago.

 

Roger is one of my least favorite paints too, but the reason I dislike it is a little different than most people. You see, it has no point at all - it's too shiny to be a camouflage paint thanks to the white skulls on it, which itself have no meaning at all.

 

Last but not least, Birdwatcher is definitely one of those paints which are relatively higher on the list of ugly paints. It's almost like Flora, and doesn't even have a single argument it needs to make people think it's cool. Three dull, rusty colors, polygons and that's it.

 

 

--- The Ugly ---

 

Turrets:

 

Last but not least, we move onto the final segment of this article - the ugliest turrets, hulls and paints in the game.

 

I'll start off this list with Isida, one of the strongest but definitely - in my opinion - the ugliest turret. One of the major reasons why is that low on my list, is its small size. When you put in on any big hull, it looks odd and sometimes ugly.

 

Thunder has only one reason, and that is because at it doesn't have any design to it at all. There is minor difference between Thunder M2 and M3, and that makes it quite at the top of the ugly turrets. The barrel is fine, but the base is where the trouble starts - two or three metal parts and that's it.

 

Twins on the other hand is definitely one of the ugliest turrets, as it looks unappealing even at M3 contradicting its magnificent damage and reload time - not to mention the fidget spinner type thingy in the middle of the two barrels too.

 

 

Hulls:

 

Since there are currently only seven hulls in the game, I could only have one hull in this category, and to me, it had to be Wasp. I mean, okay, it does look good with some turrets such as the mainstream Smoky, but with others, and especially longer ones, Wasp looks incredibly odd. It has only one light and unsymmetrical design on its front, making it look even uglier.

 

 

Paints:

 

Let me just say that if you want to take part in a "The Ugliest Tanks" competition, these are the paints of choice!

 

Alien, for its price - which is 150 000 crystals, looks nowhere near beautiful. It has a black theme with minimum amount of red stripes on it. If you want to have a black and red paint, I suggest Electra.

 

A Zebra's look is actually really beautiful, but in a game like this where tanks have unrealistic designs, the paint miserably fails to produce that look.

 

Lastly, ketchup (Mary). If you want to look like ketchup, go for it!

 

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So those are my opinions on different turrets, hulls and paints in the game based on their beauty. Which one of these do you agree with? Which one of these do you not; and if so, post your own opinions and comments below!

 

Cya!

 

 

 

 

[kaisdf 3,320]

In my opinion, the best looking paint has to be Best Helper 2016 and the ugliest would be Sunset camouflage...

Edited September 1, 2017 by kaisdf

[daudiii 61]

The best looking paints are ruby and best helper 2016.

[VaudeVille 1,428]

I love the movie

[Ninja 10,468]

Thunder isnt ugly ._.

[stanzhang 3,291]

You didn't mention the beautiful Flame paint :mellow: .

[sre123 595]

Thunder isnt ugly ._.

Exactly. Isn't Thunder like the... best? It is far better than Vulcan, IMO.

[Hex 11,520]

Thunder isnt ugly ._.

Thunder only has three metal parts, and plus it looks less appealing than other turrets.

[lukey0 27,543]

IMO Alien looks better than Electra. Electra is basically a red ripped of version of Zeus. :LOL: 

 

Still a nice read. ;)

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

I dare disagree!

IMO:

The Good:
Firebird, Hammer, Magnum, Twins - Viking, Hornet, Titan - Flame, Microchip Frost

 

The Bad:

Striker, Vulcan, Railgun, Thunder - Wasp, Dictator, Mammoth - Domino, Reporter, Dragon

 

The Ugly:

Isida - Hunter - Roger, Chainmail, Lead

[Hex 11,520]

Nice to see everyone giving their opinions  ^_^

[g-force 1,000]

Really? All my favorite equip in tanki is the UGLY list. In my opinion they should good. But nice article.

[HAPPSHOT 2,029]

None can be uglier than hexed himself  :ph34r:

[Hex 11,520]

 

:ph34r:

[omarhero1 401]

Okay let me state my opinion real quick:D

The best looking turrets gotta be Firebird, Railgun and smoky.

And when it comes to hulls Viking, Wasp and Mamooth are the best ever.

As for paints actually there are quite a few: Frost, Space, Red urban, Flame, Veteran, Ruby, Aramid, Neuron and Amber.

[omarhero1 401]

The ugliest and most hideous turret of all time is defintely RICOCHET!! I just hate how this silly turret looks when its facing forwards ._.

the ugliest hull is Hunter of course, im actually wondering how is it on the top of ur list ?! :p

Ugly paints cant fit in one comment but ill mention some of them; Carbon, Flora, swamp, chainmail, moss, rust, cedar and ironically Golden star : p

[GWKK 75]

I agree with the choice of hulls. Thunder one of the ugliest turrets, come on. Give me a break! I will probably be in my 60's by the time I can afford XT for my M3 THUNDER. About to be 57 the end of year, hehehe. When XT is added to Thunder, it is most certainly the beautifulest thing you have ever seen. Yes Rico is cool too with its red lights, Thunder w/xt also has pretty red lights. ;)

[Coat 2,280]

The Good

 

@Mad

 

 

The Bad

 

@Hexed

 

 

The Ugly

 

@Hexed

 

[Hex 11,520]

I wasn't talking about XT turrets and hulls because then, they would obviously win everything  ^_^

[Remaine 4,687]

I strongly agree with Safari being the ugliest paint.

[Mjro7 2,837]

Nice Article :)
But You Can Add Helper To The Good ^_^
Its Great Paint in My Opinion  ^_^