Snow Creek - Part One

[JlerKaR_No6eAa 160]

Snow Creek

 

The snow and freezing cold all seemed so familiar to Hunter. His father used to bring him to this area for vacation. They would make snow angels, and go back inside for some hot chocolate. Hunter and his father would watch the football game, and joke around. Hunter remembered those moments like they were yesterday. Now 25, Hunter was looking for a new chapter in his life. Hunter searched and searched for hours for clues on the mystery of “Snow Creek”. This long search had no good results. Infuriated, Hunter headed back home. He slammed the door, and everything around him. “DAMNIT” were his first words upon entering. Hunter remembered this was his father’s cabin, and it would be terrible to “honour” his father’s memory like this. Hunter turned on the television and put on the news. Hunter was a bit peeved, when he found out that an avalanche was heading towards the northern side. Hunter decided to head out the next morning to find clues. At 6:30 AM, Hunter had awoken from his slumber. He did all the necessities, that included hygiene and food. Hunter put on his gear and headed out into the vast, white, snowy fields. After an hour and a half of searching Hunter nearly gave up. He was so angry, no clues in 2 days of searching. Suddenly, he heard a rumble. “The avalanche” was the first thought in his mind. Hunter frantically searched for clues, but then he saw it. The words written clearly “I did it ~ Johnathan Rose". The person responsible for the mystery of “Snow Creek”. Hunter frantically searched for his phone, but that’s when the snow started falling down the mountain. The avalanche was approaching, and fast. Hunter had finally found his phone, but it was too late. Hunter’s body engulfed by the vast, white nothingness, that was an avalanche. Now with nothing left, except a multitude of snow, and a body which is most certainly not alive, the mission was failed. Hunter hadn’t left nothing behind though, because his girlfriend was 7 months pregnant with Hunter’s child.

 

Now 16 years after his death, his daughter wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps. “Mom, I want to be like dad and solve the mystery of Snow Creek”. The mother replied with “Such ambition. We already lost your father, I don’t want to lose you too”.

 

Hunter’s daughter was enraged. “Mom..Please, I’ll be careful."

 

“No, Katie, and that’s final."

 

Full of pure anger, Katie stormed out. After 4 hours Katie packed gear and was ready to solve the mystery of “Snow Creek”. Katie had waited until her mother had fallen asleep, until she headed out.

 

“Snow Creek here I come."



~Reverse

Edited November 7, 2017 by Blackdrakon30

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

- Minor edits to word choice

- Minor edits to sentence structure

- Edited spacing of dialogue parts

- Put period inside quotation marks for most situations

 

Approved

 

These were mostly so just improve the feel of the story. Overall though, interesting tale. You do a good job with the descriptive feel. I do think that some background on Snow Creek and its mystery would have helped a lot though.

Edited November 7, 2017 by Blackdrakon30

[JlerKaR_No6eAa 160]

- Minor edits to word choice

- Minor edits to sentence structure

- Edited spacing of dialogue parts

- Put period inside quotation marks for most situations

 

Approved

 

These were mostly so just improve the feel of the story. Overall though, interesting tale. You do a good job with the descriptive feel. I do think that some background on Snow Creek and its mystery would have helped a lot though.

Thanks BD! Yeah, I’ll go more into detail. :)

[Magenta 5,165]

 

Thought not though.

 

You gotta relate and feel your characters. 6.7/10.

[JlerKaR_No6eAa 160]

 

Thought not though.

 

You gotta relate and feel your characters. 6.7/10.

We all make mistakes :P. Thanks for the comment!