Wolverine V.S. Batman (readers discretion advised, possibly too violent. )

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Reader's discretion advised, possibly too violent.

 

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It was a silent and cold night. The Misery of Winter would soon be replaced by the joy of Spring. Gotham had been turned into a frigid wasteland, reaching the lowest recorded temperatures. Naturally, everyone was getting festive and cozy in their beds, for the very next day, was Christmas. Everyone except for Wolverine, that is, who restlessly paced the streets with an anger, searching for Batman.

 

A few short months earlier, when Professor Xavier had turned evil and taken control of Jean Gray, A.K.A Phoenix a fight broke out. Professor Xavier’s plan was to use her to kill Magneto, and then take over the world for himself. A feat he was not capable of. Wolverine couldn’t bear to see his lover so twisted and cruel, but neither could he kill her. Batman, however, knew what had to be done. He ended Jean Gray’s life with three shots to her head. No doubt, Wolverine was very eager for payback.

 

Then suddenly, there was a noise. Something of electric nature coming quickly. Wolverine knew this was his chance. He waited for the vehicle to come, and as soon as it was zipping fast him, he jumped on the roof and dug his Adamantium claws into the roof of what appeared to be the Batmobile.

 

Inside the Batmobile, there were sirens wailing and lights flashing. Batman’s advanced computers had detected that there was something in the roof.

 

“Computer? What’s happening?!,” Batman asked, completely baffled by the alarms.

 

“Investigating now sir,’ replied Batman’s computer.

 

Unfortunately for Batman, the computer didn’t have enough time to investigate. Wolverine managed to tear off the roof, leaving more sirens wailing.

 

“I told ya’ I’d come for ya’,” Wolverine yelled at Batman.

 

“Wolverine?!” Batman panicked. He had no time to prepare a plan for this.

 

“Hello! I’m here to tear ya to bits!” Wolverine replied, remembering to be polite.

 

Wolverine climbed into the Batmobile and started to steer it towards the wall. Batman punched him in the face and tried to kick him out of the Batmobile, but Wolverine didn’t budge. Wolverine and Batman once again exchanged blows and Wolverine used his claws to destroy the computer. Then, the batmobile spun out of control and crashed into a wall, sending Wolverine flying towards a tree.

 

“And that, my friend, is why we wear seat belts,” Batman replied to a hurt Wolverine. Batman knew that he had no more than a few minutes at best, to get ready for a fight with Wolverine. His Batmobile wasn’t going anywhere.

“Computer, prepare machine guns!” Batman yelled. In the distance, he could see Wolverine getting up slowly.

 

“Malfunction. Error code 191. Only one machine gun functional,” The computer replied.

 

“Well, start raining hell on Wolverine then!” Now Batman was really starting to get worried. With only a single machine gun and no other suit, Batman was in trouble.

 

Suddenly, Wolverine got up and started walking towards Batman. Just as he was mere meters away from him, the machine gun’s barrel gave of a yellowish orange light. Wolverine started walking towards the gun, while the bullets continued to embed themselves into his skin. He reached for the gun and hacked it into pieces. But the damage was done. Wolverine was covered with bullets and bleeding.

 

Batman took this opportunity to attack him. Furiously kicking Wolverine and punching him. Wolverine was really starting to lose his marbles. He kept on taking hits until the point where he blew his top. He went into berserker mode.

 

Wolverine quickly got up and started slashing at Batman. He was too fast for Wolverine to land a hit. That is until Batman stumbled and fell on a tree. Wolverine then proceeded to jam his right claw into his suit of armor. He screeched in pain. Wolverine pulled his claw out of Batman’s abdomen, only causing him more pain. He kicked Wolverine away and crumbled to the floor.

 

“WHY’D YA’ KILL HER?!” Wolverine yelled.

 

“She was going to take over the world, and I didn’t exactly have the time for a therapist,” Batman replied.

 

This only made Wolverine angrier. But this time, Batman had a trick up his sleeve. He pulled out a revolver and shot Wolverine’s kneecap. His target howled in pain.

 

“You’re not the only one who can cause harm pal,”

 

“I swear to god, I will kill ya’!” Wolverine screamed in pain.

 

Wolverine’s healing factor kicked in again, and he got up in moments. Batman was just standing ready with his last bullet.

 

“Want more?” Batman retorted.

 

As soon as he fired, Wolverine used his claws to block the bullet. Batman was in utter confusion as to how Wolverine did this. His look of confusion and surprise was clear on his face.

“I’m a mutant remember? My reflexes are enhanced. Besides, I wasn’t ready the first time.” Wolverine answered. Batman reached for his smoke grenades, only to realize that they had been lost during his crash.

 

“What’s the matter, Batman? Can’t find something?” Wolverine retorted.

 

Batman knew he didn’t have much time to get away. He tried one last time to outsmart Wolverine.

 

“Look! Jean Gray!”

 

Upon hearing this, Wolverine instinctively turned his head to the sky, only to find nothing. Batman had almost outlasted his berserker mode, but Wolverine went crazy again. Just as Batman was Wobbling to a tree and beginning to climb it, Wolverine cut off a chunk his right foot. He fell to the ground in agony. Just as he got up Wolverine charged towards him and started slashing. Using Jabs, Crosses, Upper-cuts, lower-cuts and every other imaginable way to use his claws. Batman was bleeding badly. Wolverine decided to make one final slash at his face. As he fell, his damaged mask also broke off. Wolverine now saw Batman’s face. A young, pale white face, with black hair and blue eyes shown. In that moment, frustration overcame him, as he stood over the scratched and damaged body of his former friend, Bruce Wayne.

Edited November 13, 2017 by LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH

[Destrod 2,634]

Approved.

-Multiple typo corrections

- Countless addition of pronouns

- Rephrasing of sentences to make them more understandable.

 

For me, the story was dull, filled with an extremely long fight scene and offered very little entertainment. Although the concept was promising, the execution gave it away.

I'd try removing the plot holes and adding a lot more depth to the story.

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Approved.

-Multiple typo corrections

- Countless addition of pronouns

- Rephrasing of sentences to make them more understandable.

 

For me, the story was dull, filled with an extremely long fight scene and offered very little entertainment. Although the concept was promising, the execution gave it away.

I'd try removing the plot holes and adding a lot more depth to the story.

Thanks for reading it. How might I fix the plot holes and also, what could I do about the pronouns problem?

[Destrod 2,634]

Thanks for reading it. How might I fix the plot holes and also, what could I do about the pronouns problem?

Revolving your story around strong emotions and emphasizing the importance of the characters usually removes most plot holes that arise when the fight scenes are too long.

The pronouns can't be taught here, I'd advise using a guide, consulting teachers and comparing your original article to the one that I edited above. It won't come to you spontaneously, it's a gradual process.

Edited November 14, 2017 by Destrod

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Revolving your story around strong emotions and emphasizing the important of the characters usually removes most plot holes that arise when the fight scenes are too long.

The pronouns can't be taught here, I'd advise using a guide, consulting teachers and comparing your original article to the one that I edited above. It won't come to you spontaneously, it's a gradual process.

So what you're saying, is that plot holes can be filled (?) by giving my characters a much stronger reason to do what they are doing?

[HAPPSHOT 2,029]

Noice story! ( especially  the use of big and powerful words), but you  stretched the fight scene like a rubber band, i mean thats why movies with a main fight motive always make it happen at last, because movies/stories like this get extremely boring. If i was going to explain a fight scene, it would not be longer than a 10 line paragraph.  + Batman is not that weak okay! and Wolverine is even more reckless! Why would Batman try to climb a tree to escape? Wolverine can also climb that, Batman should had run in the opposite direction  :ph34r:  :ph34r:

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Noice story! ( especially  the use of big and powerful words), but you  stretched the fight scene like a rubber band, i mean thats why movies with a main fight motive always make it happen at last, because movies/stories like this get extremely boring. If i was going to explain a fight scene, it would not be longer than a 10 line paragraph.  + Batman is not that weak okay! and Wolverine is even more reckless! Why would Batman try to climb a tree to escape? Wolverine can also climb that, Batman should had run in the opposite direction  :ph34r:  :ph34r:

The point was Batman didn't have the Masimuira (?) blade or his Hellbat or even his Justice Buster.

 

He climbed a tree because well, hard to run too far after being stabbed.

 

I get the point. Thanks for your feedback!

[Magenta 5,165]

-_- try something else next time.

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

-_- try something else next time.

LOL lesson learned.

[Heles 9,220]

Lol, it does remind me of the Amalgam Universe (When marvel and dc fused there heroes together) 

Logan Wayne AKA Dark Claw 

 

 

 

 

 

[Viking4s 10,791]

The text looks ok for me if you wanted to write about a fight scene. Also we have learned enough about each character motivation. Batman can go into trees, he likes to hide in dark places, as for Wolverine with his long claws it is actually more difficult to move around or climb trees (tries to use your fist and hand with long cutting stick in your knuckles).

There is one point you need to clarify or amend:  You wrote that "Wolverine used his claws to destroy the computer." and then later the computer appears to be not destroyed “Malfunction. Error code 191. Only one machine gun functional,” The computer replied.”

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

The text looks ok for me if you wanted to write about a fight scene. Also we have learned enough about each character motivation. Batman can go into trees, he likes to hide in dark places, as for Wolverine with his long claws it is actually more difficult to move around or climb trees (tries to use your fist and hand with long cutting stick in your knuckles).

There is one point you need to clarify or amend:  You wrote that "Wolverine used his claws to destroy the computer." and then later the computer appears to be not destroyed “Malfunction. Error code 191. Only one machine gun functional,” The computer replied.”

Thanks for pointing that out.

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

I have just posted the terrible sequel to this story. Kindly give me your feedback on it. Thanks!