Story [Issue 72] Every Tear

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

 

 

 

 

Every Tear 

 

 

 

"You know, you don’t have to do this for her. Like, I know it’s good, but still…. It feels extra.”

Not looking at him, I continued to tie my sneakers. “You’re really going to say that? About a friend? Of course I have to do it. You saw Jamie today. You saw how she looked.” I finished the double knot and stood up. Eric just stared at me, looking as relaxed as usual. But I knew that his calm appearance often embodied more than just tranquility.

His mask broke into a thin smile. “Fine,” he said, turning his back to me. “Have fun giving her hell, Jordan.”

I rolled my eyes. “Haha. Very funny. You know I’m just going there to check up on her, right? Not to go make her uncomfortable. We’re friends, after all” As he left the room, I reached over and grabbed my switchblade off the table beside Eric’s couch. Always makes me feel safer going places when I know I could do serious physical harm to someone. I threw my hoodie on over my tank top and stepped out the door of Eric’s house to go see the world and Jamie.

Well, after I went back to put on a pair of his sunglasses borrow one of his combs for hair maintenance. If I’m going out, I wanna look good. Real good.

 

~ ~ ~

 

She was sitting on the bench at Marigold Park. I expected as much. Me and Jamie, we’re creatures of habit. She sits outside in parks and draws. I sit around in my house’s sunroom streaming Overwatch on Twitch. Well, I used to stream at my house. Now I do it at Eric’s house because of college. Sure Jamie and I have different hobbies, but we both have our preferred activities and locations. I waved at her.

“Hey, Jamie! What’s up?”

She pulled her nose out of her sketchbook for a moment to give me a brief nod, and then resumed her sketches. So, of course, I pranced over and swiped her beret off her head.

Jamie squealed and leapt to her feet. “Give it back!” She reached around in vain above her head as I held it above me. She couldn’t quite reach. I have a good few inches of height advantage, so I just stuck my tongue out at her as I waved it around.

She crossed her arms. “Dammit Jordan, why do you always have to do this,” she huffed.

I plopped the cap back on her reddish-brown hair. “You know I just can’t resist,” I said, making a pouty face. “You didn’t say hello back. According to law number something in the official book of all-the-laws-in-the-universe, I get to steal your hat.”

She blinked. “Jordan, since when is there a book like that?”

She’s a bit dense sometimes.

I waved my hand lazily. “Oh, you know, that same one that says you get to throw a sponge at someone who doesn’t wear green on Saint Patrick’s Day.” I laughed. “Of course there isn’t actually a book like that doofus. I’m just messing around.”

Rubbing her head sheepishly, Jamie picked up her sketchbook and flipped the cover closed. “So, why’re you here? I mean, it’s possible that you came just to bug me, but it’s pretty unlikely since you spend half your summer indoors. You’re so lucky that you have darker skin.” A wistful look crossed her face. “I wish I had dark skin. If I stayed inside all summer like you do, I’d turn into a pale ghost and frighten children. And when I stay outside too long, I turn red. Gotta love that Irish heritage.”

“Heh. Yeah, being in that light-tan skin color group is certainly nice.” I paused. “And also, you’re right. I didn’t come here just to annoy you. I came here to see how you’re doing.”

She sat down on the bench and leaned back casually. “What do you mean?”

.“You know what I mean,” I said, sitting down next to her. “At work today? You looked… dead. Are things going alright at home? I know that sometimes things are a little rough, but remember that you don’t ever need to feel alone here.” A pained expression told me everything.

I put my hand on her shoulder. “Look Jamie. I’m here for you. Others are too. Don’t go through this alone.” An idea sprung into my head. “Hey, do you want to check out that new Thor movie soon? I hear it’s pretty solid. Some good gags and a decent plot, even if it’s on the predictable side.”

Jamie unzipped her bright purple backpack and put her sketchbook and pencils inside. She waited a few seconds to respond. “I don’t ... actually, sure. Maybe next week?” Her voice sounded a bit half-hearted. “Listen. I need to head somewhere, to meet someone. So uh, catch you later Jordan. For that movie or whatever comes up.” I nodded and gave her a light hit on the shoulder. She gathered her belongings and began walking away.

“See ya.”
 

~ ~ ~

 

Here’s a hint: don’t put things off. The more you do, the more likely it is that you won’t ever do what you wanted to. It seems easy enough to understand yet nobody does it. I speak from experience, of course. I’ve put off homework, buying gifts for people, getting to school on time, and some. My lack of motivation, courage, and foresight have given me more regrets than anything else in my life.
 

~ ~ ~

 

I trudged back to my dorm slowly. I’ve tried to be around for Jamie as much as possible; we’ve been pretty close friends since high school. She stood out to me immediately when first saw her. Mostly because she was wearing a bright shirt emblazoned with “Why Not Now?” and was holding donuts, for the school’s volleyball team’s fundraiser. She’s surprisingly athletic. I know, I know, call me stereotyping, but my mental image of artists doesn’t usually entail sports equipment. I usually think of a moody loner. Jamie was never really quite like that. But ever since I bought two donuts and gave one to her, we’ve been pretty good friends.

Nothing buys friendship like food, after all. Now we’re both in college, and we still hang out since we both ended up going to east coast colleges near each other.

I looked up at the streetlights lining the sidewalks, all emanating a quiet hum barely audible over the loud cicadas. Sounds of summer. I love the sounds but sure do hate the temperatures. A few more blocks of walking led me to the doorstep of my dormitory building, where I entered and took the stairs up to my room. I have a pretty modest dorm room, which I share with a girl who’s here trying to major in Bio-medical Engineering. We get along pretty well.

I flopped down onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. Too much time to burn before I feel like eating dinner. “Might as well take a shower while she’s out,” I muttered. Damn these sweaty summers. I tossed a fresh T-Shirt, some shorts, and some underwear into the shared bathroom and then closed the door behind me. Stripped down, hopped in, and performed my typical routine required to maintain my long chocolate hair; my pride and joy. My phone began buzzing on the sink counter, and still dripping wet, I reached over out of the shower to answer. It was Eric calling.

“Hey, what’s up, Jordan?” He paused. “What’s with all the background noise? You meditating under a waterfall or something weird?

“Oh, I’m just in the shower. What’d you call to talk about?”

Silence. He was probably just running some imagery through his head.

“Eric? Hellooooo. Ground control to Major Eric.”

“What? Oh, uh, yeah.” He stuttered. “So, how did Jamie seem to be doing? It feels like she’s a whole different person than when I met her in my art class. Way glummer.”

I stepped out of the shower and picked up my towel with my free hand. “Well, I don’t think it’s the most ideal situation. Her mom’s fiance is probably still causing a ruckus at home, so I think she’s been trying to spend as much time away as possible.”

Eric sighed. “I wish she didn’t have to go through this. She doesn’t deserve this.”

“That’s how everyone feels about situations like this. All we can do is be by their side and pray that this is all for some good, even if we can’t see it.” I put my phone down on the counter and began blow-drying my hair. “Eric, I’m going to hang up for now since it’s probably way too loud for you to actually hear anything right now. Besides, I need two hands for drying my hair. Talk to you later.” I pressed the end call button and resumed my brushing. That’s the one downside of long hair; it causes showers to take a truly irritatingly long time.

Ten minutes later and I was riding my bike over to Eric’s house. Half to continue talking to him, and half to return the sunglasses that I more or less stole from his room. Not that he’d really care if I did keep them, since we’re cousins. He and his family live around here, so I pretty much stop by whenever I feel like it. He’s only a year and a half younger than me, and he’s a senior in high school right now. No idea where he’s planning to go to college.

I rapped my knuckles on the door a few times. My aunt answered the door. “Hey, Jordan! Welcome back, O favorite niece of mine.” I groaned and walked in.

“Is Eric home? I want to talk to him about something.”

“He’s up in his room,” she said while walking back into the kitchen. “You want to stay for dinner honey? We’re having some of my homemade Thai curry that I know you love.”

Mmmm. Thai curry. My favorite. My stomach said yes. “Sorry Aunt Ari, but I can’t tonight. I have places to go, and things to do.” Sometimes we just have to make some sacrifices.

I opened the door to Eric’s room, which was at the end of the hall, and peeked in. He was just on his laptop, watching videos that I couldn’t really see.

“I’M COMING IN!”

Eric hastily shut the lid to his laptop and shoved his earbuds into his desk’s drawer, knocking over a few anime figurines in the process. I waltzed on in and sat on his bed. A flustered Eric swiveled his chair around to face me, as he slowly ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to look casual. I gave him a knowing smirk and he quickly looked away.

“So, why’re you here Jordan? I just assumed you’d call me, rather than crashing in my room like you do, oh, twice a week. Don’t you have a dorm room?” He then turned his chair back around to face his desk again, and began putting all his toppled figurines back in place.

“Oh, you know. One, so I can ask you something. Two, so I can return these sunglasses. Three, so I can harass you and just generally be a nuisance,” I said with an innocent smile.

“When did you take my sunglasses?”

“This morning before I left to talk to Jamie.”

He fake-coughed loudly while saying something that sounded vaguely like “beach” under his breath. “What’s the question?”

My grin quickly vanished. “Well, first of all, I want to borrow some graph paper. I need it for my class, for something we’re doing soon. Probably something boring.” He picked up a short stack from his desk and plopped it onto my lap, sending a few sheets gliding to the floor. “Anything else? Also, I thought you only had one question.”

I reached down and picked up the few scattered papers. “Two questions. Second one: What do you think I should do to help Jamie? She doesn’t seem like she really wants me near her right now. I respect that, but I’m still a bit concerned.”

Eric steepled his hands and leaned back in his chair. “Well, I don’t really know if there’s anything we can do. It’s not much my business, so I’m really not the best person to be asking this to.” He took a deep breath. “I think that we should give her some space, while still being contactable and checking in every once in awhile. Let her do things at her pace, and if she reaches out to us, then we can be there.” He stood up and poked my leg. “Now get out of my room Jordan.”

I lay back on his bed and struck a modeling pose. “Awww, you don’t want my feminine charm polluting your ‘video session’?” His face tinted red and he punched my shoulder. Not with full force, but enough to sting a bit. “Jeez Eric, alright. Have a ‘fun time’,” I yelled over my shoulder, cackling as he closed the door to his room a little sharper than necessary. I walked out the door and began biking back to my dorm.

While passing by Marigold Park on the way back, I saw that distinctive beret again, with a few tall high schoolers standing next to the wearer, leering down at her. I turned around and sped up my pace, and stopped abruptly near the bench. “Hey, Jamie, what’s going on here?”

She looked up at me, face pale and tinged with fear. The biggest guy of the bunch, who had a full mustache and looked like he could be in college, stepped between us. He sneered at me. “Look girl. Our business is with her, so go ahead and bug off.”

I smiled at him, eyes narrowed. He took a slight step back. My hand drifted to my right pocket, where I had my knife.

“Jamie. These guys bothering you?”

Jamie said nothing. I looked over, and the other two fellows were holding onto her and covering her mouth. “She isn’t going to say nothing,” spat the one closest to me. He was really skinny and frankly didn’t look like what you’d expect a delinquent to look like. “Her ‘papa’ just owes some money to a guy we know. So stay outta this.”

I pulled out my switchblade and flipped it open. “Still want to go? I got this knife, and I sure as hell know how to use it.”

The big one scoffed. “Yeah, right. Girls don’t know how to use knives. Nice try.” He stepped forward. “This is your last chance to get outta here before we have some fun with you.”

After rolling my eyes, I crouched down, etched a thin line in the grass with my knife, stood back up, and then wiped the mud off the blade with my shirt. “It’s on. Cross this line, and we’re going to have problems. So just unhand Jamie and scram to whatever dump you were born in.”

They all scowled. The skinny fellow let go of Jamie, leaving just one well-dressed individual to hold onto her. Two-on-one fight; I hadn’t banked on that. I probably should have thought this through a little more before acting, but whatever. Improvisation is my specialty. He stepped right across the line. “Whatchu going to do now girl? You don’t got the balls to actually cut me. “

I winked at him. “You’re half right. I don’t, stupid. But I don’t need any to cut you.” I swung the knife at him, but then snap-kicked him in the groin while he was watching the blade. Quick incapacitation; he didn’t know what hit him. He fell to the ground and curled up in the fetal position, making noises of pain. He certainly won’t be getting up particularly soon.

“That was a dirty blow,” The big one growled.

“And seizing an innocent girl in a park isn’t?”

He leapt at me immediately, surprisingly fast for someone of his size. I sprung back, brandishing my knife. I may have the edge when it came to weapons, but he had a huge size advantage. Probably a good six and a quarter feet tall, putting him almost a solid half foot taller than me. And he definitely had the upper body muscle advantage. I darted in, staying low to the ground, and ducked to the side when he swung a punch. Reached down and stabbed him in the foot. He jumped back on one leg, clutching his injured foot with both hands and groaning.

I gave him a pointed look. “Do you really still want to do this?”

He smiled maliciously. “Don’t look now, but it’s time for you to go to sleep.” I whirled around as a fist crashed into the side of my head. As my surroundings turned black, the last thing I remember was some yelling and Jamie distantly screaming for help. Then it was all gone.
 

~ ~ ~

 

Now I’m an angel.

Heh, just messing around. I just got knocked unconscious, and woke up after about a minute, according to the police. When I came to, there were sirens flashing and several policemen in uniform standing about. One had propped me up on some jackets while they called for an ambulance and asked Jamie various questions. The four guys who had attacked Jamie and I were in the back of some squad cars, presumably handcuffed. I think they asked me some questions too, although I don’t really remember what they were. My shirt was slightly torn, with a tear going halfway down my shirt from the collar, exposing beneath. I crossed my arms over my chest protectively. The ambulance then came and I was hoisted onto a cot, and taken to the hospital. The whole thing was pretty hazy, and I don’t recall much of what they did until I went to sleep and then woke up the next morning.
 

~ ~ ~

 

Jamie stopped by in the afternoon and sat down in the chair next to my hospital bed. “How long do you have to stay?” She looked up at me tentatively. I smiled at her.

“I’m leaving tonight. Apparently I didn’t take too much damage. And don’t worry about what happened; it was my choice to try and help you. What happened after I blacked out?”

She squirmed around in her chair a little. “Well, I managed to get my mouth free from the guy who was holding me while he was distracted, so I screamed as loud as I could. After that, one of them laughed and started to tear your shirt off. But he stopped when I heard some police sirens and saw the lights at the park entrance. They just dropped both of us and vamoosed, going off in various directions. You woke up pretty much right when the police got there.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. That was close, then. “Alright. How are you, Jamie? Did they hurt you at all?” She shook her head. “They didn’t touch me at all until you got there.”

“Why were they bugging you? They seem like fairly unpleasant people.”

Jamie closed her eyes. “You heard them. It’s because of my mom’s fiance; he owes money to some gang. I really wish my mom would just end the engagement with him and leave, but she stays for me. Since her fiance does contribute money towards my college education, after all.”

“Sometimes I wonder how her life would have been if I had never been born,” she continued. “My father wouldn’t have left mom. She’d never have to be with this abusive fiance for the sake of money for me. She’d have been happy.”

“Maybe it would have been better if I just never existed.”

My heart thumped violently, and my throat was a desert. “Jamie…,” I croaked. “No. Don’t talk like that. I love you. Your mom loves you. We do these things because of that, and don’t worry about any trouble you think you’ve caused. We’re there for you because we love you.”
Jamie stared straight at me with those pale blue eyes. They looked slightly wet.

“But that’s exactly the thing. If you didn’t have to love me, things would be so much easier. Things would be fun. You could go on with your streaming career and college, my mom could continue her architecture job and actually use the money for herself, and everyone else around me could stop worrying.” After a short moment of silence, she stood up quickly. “Anyways, I have to go do something. Bye.”

I reached my hand towards her from my bed, desperately reaching for her to stay. “Wait, Jamie!”

She didn’t wait.

I called Eric frantically. “Hey, Eric, I need you to try talking to Jamie as soon as possible. Things have really gone to the dogs and I think she might do something awful to herself and her family. Please do this for me, please?”

“Okay. Going.” He hung up.

I couldn’t do anything till evening. The hospital staff wouldn’t let me out while half my head is still covered in bruises and bandages. So I just had to sit there. Waiting, thinking, and hurting both on the inside and out. Why can’t Jamie just see that we love her? Then again, perhaps that isn’t the greatest question. A better one might be this: is she actually going to do something? I’m so scared of what she might do. She might run away, or resort to self-harm, or … well, I don’t want to think of that possibility, despite it looming on the horizon as a frighteningly possible outcome of this. I opened the Bible app on my phone to pass the time and escape from my own thoughts, and looked at some of the verses I bookmarked. A part of a verse from Revelations caught my eye: “And God will wipe every tear from their eyes.”

I sure hope so, God. I sure hope so.
 

~ ~ ~

 

They finally let me leave the hospital at quarter till seven, so I stopped by the police station to get my bike, which had been picked up at the crime scene. After showing my ID, they gave it to me, and I rode off to Marigold Park to check if my knife was there. No sign of my knife. It hadn’t been at the station anywhere. However, Jamie was my priority, so I just hopped back on my bike and rode onwards. I had to take a break at a Portillo’s to grab a burger though, since empty stomachs never got anyone anywhere. I called Eric back. “Anything happening dude?”

“No, she seems fine. I talked to her a bit when she went into a restaurant and I offered to buy the food for her. We talked some about paint techniques, cartoons, anime, the usual. She did seem a bit down, but I didn’t see any signs that would indicate her doing something radical.”

Relief washed over me. “That’s great. Hopefully this was just a small thing.”

It was eight o’clock sharp when I last checked the time on my way back. I was pedaling pretty slowly at this point, thanks to exhausted legs from riding on and off for around an hour. I decided to stop by Jamie’s house to check up on her one last time before returning to my dorm to call it a night. I pulled up to the door, and strapped my bike lock around the fence on their patio so that I wouldn’t have to worry about thieves running amok. I knocked on the door, but nobody answered. I tried calling Jamie. No answer. I bit my lip.

A minute or so later I received a text from Jamie. It said this: “Hey… I’m going to have to give you a rain check on that movie you invited me to. Maybe next life. Keep living yours; it’s one worth living.” My heart leapt in my chest as I read this. “No, no, no, no, no…. I muttered, pacing back and forth. I banged on the door more as I tried to call her. She was always home at this time. I looked up and noticed for the first time that the light in her room was on, visible through the window. And a hand pressed against the window too. No. Please, God. Please no. No. No.

My brain froze for a moment until I realized what I had to do. I grabbed a hefty rock that was part of their garden display and slammed it against their living room window. The glass fractured and shattered into millions of tiny particles, like snow. I hit the window repeatedly until there was a large enough gap for me to crawl through. I peeled off my T-Shirt, and threw it over the broken glass on the windowsill. I didn’t care about the shirt at all, what was important was that I get to Jamie. I tumbled down into the dark room, and then sprinted up the stairs and down the hallway to her room. The door resisted me, but I rammed my shoulder into it and heard furniture scraping across the floor on the other side. I wedged my way through the thin crack and saw what I feared most of all.

Jamie was slumped in her chair next to the window, with her hand reaching towards the outdoors. A nearly-empty bottle of Paracetamol lay spilled out on the chair next to her, with a few pills scattered on the surface. My eyes widened. This couldn’t be happening. No. No. NO. NO, DAMN IT! The floor swayed and my stomach wanted to crawl out through my mouth but I pulled myself together and began to think. I reached for my pocket to grab my phone and pulled it out while I shook Jamie’s shoulder violently, with no response. She seemed conscious but in a state of stupor, and her breathing was extremely shallow. “Please don’t do this to me, Jamie!” I cried, tears blurring my vision. I dialed 911 for an ambulance and told them my location as quickly as possible. After giving the emergency operator all the information, I stayed on the line until she told me I could hang up. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I was trembling. I couldn’t stop shaking. I slowly made my way down the stairs and unlocked the door once I heard ambulance sirens nearby, and I waited. My shirt was still covered in glass shards, so I just left it sitting on the edge of the broken window. Fortunately, it wasn’t too cold out thanks to the gentle summer night temperatures. An ambulance sped down the street and halted in from of the house, as the responders leapt out of the van. One came over and asked about the situation, and then called over two the other respondents, who ran inside the house with a cott and soon came back down with Jamie laying prone on top. Another who had gone with had the pills container in his hand. I quickly answered a few questions pertaining to things like why the window was broken while they loaded her into the back of the ambulance. They said I should go within the passenger seat because of standard procedures. The respondents contacted Jamie’s mother and fiance using a contacts list they found on a table in the house and told them that Jamie had overdosed on pills and was being taken to the hospital for treatment. I waited at the hospital while she received treatment, still in a state of shock over what had happened. My body felt heavy and tired, which made sense considering everything that had happened in the past two days or so. And then I just waited.

So many horrible things all started by tying my shoes at Eric’s house and taking that first step, but I don’t regret it at all. What if I hadn’t been there? What if I had listened to Eric and just watched from the sidelines? The thought still scares me, and I try not to think about it.

The rest of what happened? I don’t really feel like telling it. You can draw your own conclusions, but I’ll tell you a few things to ease your worried minds.

First of all, Jamie is alive. I don’t really know what they did for treatment, but she’s alive, and I still am thanking God every day for that providence. She scared me half to death, but she’s alive and well. Secondly, well, we never actually went to see a movie together. Finally, her mother and her fiance broke apart their engagement a few months later. Myself and Jamie are still great friends.

Indeed, every tear was wiped from my eye.
 
 

 

 

 

______________________________________________________

Brief author note: Jordan is actually female, if you didn’t notice later on in the story. I purposely chose a more unisex name and avoided gender-setting situations and terms until later in the story so that readers of both genders would ideally identify with the main character more easily. I figured it’d help them become invested more in the story. Sure I could’ve chosen a name more commonly used for females, but I liked the name Jordan. Also, I wrote this story as a response to a story written by a colleague of mine. Credits to him for inspiring me to finally write something. This was only my second long story ever (the first one I wrote when I was like, 10), so don't be too hard on me. :x

 

[SiLEnCeR.T0 143]

Nice :)

[GrandExecutioner 1,403]

Deep

[joelpro12 735]

I a mtired lemem stop/........

it was nice