The Enemy Within

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

I stared at my enemy. A polynomial with degree 4. I re-read the question. It read “factorize fully." I had practiced for this very moment, for this very question, yet memory failed to recall anything about polynomials. Suddenly I heard a voice.

 

“You can’t do this, you don’t have an A+ in math. That’s why you will fail, that’s why this question isn’t one you can solve you loser. You’re no good, we all saw that, now didn’t we?”

 

“No… no you’re wrong. I can do it. I don’t need an A+ in maths, grades mean nothing!”

 

“Yes they do… and you know it. Just give up already, and maybe it’ll break your ego rather painlessly.”

 

That was it. I put my mind to it now. I couldn’t afford to be wrong at this point, not again. I looked once more at my enemy. x4+6x2+9. Suddenly it came to me. The solution was (x2+3)(x2+3)! I had done it! I beat the question!

 

“Well done loser! You got past the first question! There’s plenty more surprises to come, worry not!”

 

“I don’t care how hard a question is, I simple refuse to give up!”

 

“You think I care? I don’t think that you will fail this test, I know it. I know you didn’t do absolutely everything. Spare me the drama, I know you best, and you didn’t give it your all. You don’t truly love maths; it’s Tanki and Asphalt 8 you love.”

 

I felt my spirits fall. I did love maths, with all my heart. Even still, I did play lots of games too. Was I right? Or was this other person right? I decided to ignore it. Next!

 

My next opponent was not as tough. Simply determining the equation of a line which passed through (0,0) and (1,1). Easy enough I thought.

 

“You can’t solve this right. You’re not at all careful. You never pay attention. You will always fail.”

 

I continued going. Solving questions. The toxic taunting didn’t stop. I was repeatedly hearing words such as “you suck at math,” and “math isn’t for the stupid like you.” The only thing which kept me going was hope. Hope that it’ll all turn out fine. That the many hours between me and my tutors wouldn’t go to waste. Now I was at the last question. The most challenging of the lot. As usual, I had no practice with how to solve it and no idea what to do. As always, I jumped to solve the question.

 

“Puh-the-tic! This question is out of your league. Go back to the place from where you came. To the gamers. It’s worthless, you cancerous pile of garbage. You don’t help anyone in your family, you yell at your brother. All for what? So that you can continue your games? Your future is dark and desolate, without even a faint glimmer of hope. It’s covered in darkness and nothing more. You’re doomed to fail. A black hole is brighter than your future, and that says a lot, because a black hole is so dark, you can’t see it!”  

 

The insults never stopped. I couldn’t take the constant battering anymore. It was too much. All the insults, the rudeness. Yet as much as I wanted to leave this terrible, horrible, toxic person, I couldn’t. Why? Because this toxic person is me.

Edited December 13, 2017 by LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

Approved.

 

Few corrections:

• Whether you use "maths" or "math," it doesn't matter but be consistent. In two sentences, you used "math" and "maths."
• You don't need to start words inside quotation marks mid-way through a sentence with a capitalised article.

The piece itself; it was alright but I'd have liked if it was more concise, there are some sentences which could be shortened.

I'd recommend changing the title to "The enemy within," thoughts?

[REDOUANE78190 836]

Nice text I like it

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Approved.

 

Few corrections:

• Whether you use "maths" or "math," it doesn't matter but be consistent. In two sentences, you used "math" and "maths."
• You don't need to start words inside quotation marks mid-way through a sentence with a capitalised article.

The piece itself; it was alright but I'd have liked if it was more concise, there are some sentences which could be shortened.

I'd recommend changing the title to "The enemy within," thoughts?

Thanks for the feedback Marc! I presume that when you say the shorter sentences thing, you primarily mean the whole blob of text with insults piled on insults?

 

Also please do change the title to "The enemy within", I think that's a lot better for a title. Thanks!

Nice text I like it

Thank you!

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

Thanks for the feedback Marc! I presume that when you say the shorter sentences thing, you primarily mean the whole blob of text with insults piled on insults?

It pretty much applies for the entire piece. It was kinda awkward reading medium-long sentences, then one very brief one. Either stick with long sentences or short sentences, try to stick with the structure, otherwise it becomes messy to read. Some sentences weren't too bad to read whilst others were messy. I'll give you an example:

 

The only thing which kept me going was hope. Hope that it’ll all turn out fine. That the many hours between me and my tutors wouldn’t go to waste. 

This was a pretty good excerpt from your piece, the sentences were at medium length and the flow was good. An example of bad flow (imo) is this one:

Now I was at the last question. The most challenging of the lot. As usual, I had no practice with how to solve it and no idea what to do. As always, I jumped to solve the question.

The very next sentence had poor flow. Short sentence followed by short sentence, followed by medium sentence, followed by short+repetitive sentence. You also used "as usual" in one sentence, then "as always" in the next, which ruined your rhythm.

 

TL;DR - There are some small technical issues that can make your piece slightly deterring to read and I'd recommend fixixng up things such as your flow and expression. You don't need to use fancy words or long sentences, just make sure you stay consistent (but not repetitive). 

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

It pretty much applies for the entire piece. It was kinda awkward reading medium-long sentences, then one very brief one. Either stick with long sentences or short sentences, try to stick with the structure, otherwise it becomes messy to read. Some sentences weren't too bad to read whilst others were messy. I'll give you an example:

 

This was a pretty good excerpt from your piece, the sentences were at medium length and the flow was good. An example of bad flow (imo) is this one:

The very next sentence had poor flow. Short sentence followed by short sentence, followed by medium sentence, followed by short+repetitive sentence. You also used "as usual" in one sentence, then "as always" in the next, which ruined your rhythm.

 

TL;DR - There are some small technical issues that can make your piece slightly deterring to read and I'd recommend fixixng up things such as your flow and expression. You don't need to use fancy words or long sentences, just make sure you stay consistent (but not repetitive). 

I see. Thanks a ton for clearing that up!

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Nice storyplan!

Thanks!

[Magenta 5,165]

[...] The insults never stopped. I couldn’t take the constant battering anymore [...]

Is that 'constant' a pun?

 

Otherwise, this is by far the best stuff in AWS from you, good job.

[shafter9 156]

Polynomials are easy. Algebra is important. But it gets harder. Far harder. 

Have fun.

Have fun even if you aren't good at it. Just because you can't do it very well doesn't mean that you can't enjoy it.

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Polynomials are easy. Algebra is important. But it gets harder. Far harder. 

Have fun.

Have fun even if you aren't good at it. Just because you can't do it very well doesn't mean that you can't enjoy it.

Yes, indeed they are. For now, nothing is that hard. When I do things like Calculus, that's when it will actually be hard.

Is that 'constant' a pun?

 

Otherwise, this is by far the best stuff in AWS from you, good job.

Unintended, but now that you point it out, yes. Thanks!

[Magenta 5,165]

Unintended, but now that you point it out, yes.

Well, it's a bad pun.

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Well, it's a bad pun.

what I meant to say was that it was not a pun.

[marc.jp_44 20,837]

Is that 'constant' a pun?

How so? :^)

[Penguin40 1,714]

How so? :^)

The enemy is a mathematics exam, more specifically algebra. Constants are something you learn in algebra. So...

 

 

good piece!

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

The enemy is a mathematics exam, more specifically algebra. Constants are something you learn in algebra. So...

 

 

good piece!

thanks!

 

It seems unlike my other writings, people don't hate this. Yay!

[Magenta 5,165]

what I meant to say was that it was not a pun.

It's a bad pun that was not intended.

 

thanks!

 

It seems unlike my other writings, people don't hate this. Yay!

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

It's a bad pun that was not intended.

 

Yep, the guy running around is me lol.

[Magenta 5,165]

Yep, the guy running around is me lol.

Oh, I thought it was @Nikk.

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Oh, I thought it was @Nikk.

I mean after hearing that people like it, that's me.