Other [Fool's Issue] Regarding the Recent Charges Against Nives

[Yisroel.Rabin 16,224]

SECRECY LVL.: * * * * *

CRUCIAL: EXTREMELY

CODE: BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER

SUBJECT: THE CHARGEs OF NIVES | DOC. #724 APRIL 1 '18

 

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As you may all know, Nives has recently been charged with ten counts of violant attacks on innocent civilians in Czechoslovakia, his hometown. Right off the bat, it is crucial that no standard community member hears about this. If you know of someone who does and shouldn't know, put him in solitary confinement immediately, we'll have his brain extracted to a Mexican cactus.

 

For the next four or so weeks, Nives will be unavailable to communicate with any of us, not even Ostrica. However, I've managed to break a technical barrier, and so I have limited contact with him. The KGB is currently holding him hostage in an isolated underground prison fortress, somewhere in Iceland. I think I managed to find his coordinates; 13.1631° S, 72.5450° W. I think that's in Iceland... Right?

 

If you have any questions you'd like me to ask him, ask away. But please remember, it is essential that no one knows even the slightest bit of this incident. We've got Nives' twin brother to step in for a few livestreams, and whatever else this community needs a manager for.

 

If you tell, you die. Bye!

 

- Rabin

 

[You.Have.to.die 519]

I must be killed. I know too much. :(

[gokuMI6 1,290]

Oh no i am gonna be interrogated bu KGB now  :huh:

Poor me

[Magenta 5,165]

:x sum1 cen trenslit dis ento mulnlgish? mi net andarstend wut yis sayd...

[kaisdf 3,320]

CODE: BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER

Sunburned penguin?

Newspaper?

Zebra in a telephone box?

[lukey0 27,543]

Poor Nives :(

[Pyre 3,485]

Everyone knows why he is attacking all those people, right? He wants to find his missing "K". With any luck, Cedric will be able it keep it safe so he doesn't become complete and reveal his true form. If Nives finds out I posted this, I may never see you guys again. Water my potato garden every week.

Edited April 4, 2018 by Pyre

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

Sunburned penguin?

Newspaper?

Zebra in a telephone box?

Panda in a blender

Edited April 6, 2018 by mydoom.exe

[tweezers 1,034]

Sunburned penguin?

Newspaper?

Zebra in a telephone box?

 

Panda in a blender

There's two kinds of people...