Fragile Knife ; Argon City

[zaintahir 458]

Six years before the recruit training that the story tells of, Argon City was a city on the northeast border of human territory. It was peaceful, and little military movement took place there. The people were just and fair; the city was known as the city of the golden palace. This is because many Bhuddist monks took refuge here and built a glorious golden palace for meditating which became a tourist attraction for many. 

 

Our main characters, Leo, Andy and Jean also lived here. Aged 13 at the time, they were all energetic and bright children. On that afternoon they were running through the streets of the city without any care in the world. "Slow down there, will ya?" An old man yelled from his balcony. Old man Tom was infamous for yelling at children like that, but he invited them over for tea and cookies when they actually listened, so kids loved him.

 

"Are you two running off again with Leo? Watch out, okay? Would you like to eat something before going sweetie?" Leo's mother asked the group as they were leaving the house.

 

"Mom stop embarrassing me in front of my friends, we'll be back in an hour."

 

"Okay, be safe - And stay away from the river stream! And watch out for rocks on the stree-" Her husband cut her off. "Please Linda, just let the kids have fun for once, they can take care of themselves."

 

 

 

 

"You'll never catch us; remember, you can always give up." Jean yelled back at Andy who was struggling to tag them as he was the slower and unfit one of the trio. "Shush, lets run a bit more then I'll let him tag me." Leo whispered to Jean as they giggled. "I'll catch you... I'm getting close... Almost... got you." Andy had to stop for a breath. The other two also stopped to help him since Andy did have asthma. 

 

 

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On a more serious note and some information to all you oblivious souls, the enemy opposing humanity was known to come from the south. They didn't know for sure but almost all of their activity was there, which is why only poor families who did not have much of a choice lived there. The Northern Cities and almost no security in order to use those men to keep the southern cities well defended. The only form of defense Argon City had was a few officers of the Supervision regiment to keep law and order.

 

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Mid drink of Andy's water, a sudden burst of light appeared. A thunderous noise sounded that could deafen you, and blinding smoke spread throughout the area. It all happened by the treeline that separated man and beast, the border of humanities Northeastern border. Hundreds of men, women and children rushed to the borders to observe what had happened to the stationed officers' command. They all stood in silence looking at the smoke-covered forest. 

 

Suddenly a heavy footstep was heard from within. The shuffling of leaves shortly thereafter. As some of the civilians started getting closer something shocking happened. A huge tree, about ten meters - was thrown straight at the crowd. It hit the front row watchers and some were crushed to death instantly. The trio almost fell back and let out a shocked shriek like many others. 

 

Quickly following this, several heavy footsteps were heard before. But this time, horrifiyngly - they were getting closer at a shocking pace towards the city. Many of the civilians ran. Some were to scared or shocked to even move or out of sheer curiosity lost all logic and stood still like rocks. The trio of 13 year olds also stood there. Now from the smoke began to form a shape of a humanoid creature. It was huge. At least twice the size of an adult human. It was bulky and moved slow. However, as it would now display, it could move fast if needed. It made a jump over all the remaining civilians that did not run and instead crushed several that were fleeing.

 

At this point a siren was sounded and a red flare shot into the sky to signal immediate evacuation of all nearby areas and danger - respectfully. The city gates were opened for the people to pass through but must be closed if any enemy got close to use the gate as a point to destroy them instead of letting them pass through. Leo - now out of his trance realized the trouble they were in. Argon had been breached and an enemy had already broken through. He grabbed his friends and all three independently began to run to the gates. 

 

They took an alternate path to Leo's house away from the huge monster to avoid contact with it, so they could be under adult protection. At this point the monster standing at about 25 feet tall was crashing through peoples houses and launcher the remains into deeper parts of the city. One such projectile went right over the trio's heads which caused them to split up due to the debris. Jean took another path to the gate as he was helpless, while Leo and Andy continued to Leo's house.

 

He met his parents in the tight corner of a street and they hugged him tight. His mother took Leo by the hand while his father took care of Andy and the four of them ran in the direction of the gate. They had to take alternate paths as the outskirt streets were destroyed by rocks and logs that were thrown. This led them onto the main road where very little people were as most had ran out of the gates at this point. As they ran the large humanoid jumped straight into their path and stared down all of them. 

 

He reached down to grab them in his palm. Leo's mother pushed him aside as the monster took grip of her. "Mom!" Her son yelled.

 

"Get out! Go!" Her mother insisted as she was raised to the enemies mouth. Her family stared in shock. "Linda-" Her husband was no longer the calm and composed man everyone thought. He yelled and was cut off by the screams of his significant other as she was crushed in the monsters palm and killed. Blood dripped from its hand as silence met them.

 

The widower unsheathed a knife and charged the monster against all odds. He jumped at the humanoid and swung - but was dodged and the being now behind him. The being kicked him from behind - Not only shattering his spine but launching him into a building and killing him instantly. Leo and Andy stood still with tears on their face. The monster let out a triumphant scream and walked out of the city, ignoring the children once more. Other enemies now approached the city.

 

As Jean continued running he ran into a familiar balcony, but one that was crashed on the ground instead of in the air. "Old man Tom!" He yelled as he ran closer to the building until, in his horror, he saw the severely battered body of the man who's name had just been yelled. He cried and fell to his knees. He was then evacuated by a member of the Supervision regiment. The city was in ruins. After complete evacuation the city gates were shut off.

 

As soldiers continued evacuating the remaining civilians, another occurance like the one previously experienced. A thunder and smoke on the far end of the city was seen and heard. "Ready the muskets!" Yelled Brody, a senior Supervision officer. About 15 muskets were aimed directly as the town in case of any enemy advancement into the city. Suddenly a blue flare flies into the ground signaling an enemy being spotted. Another one ahead of them, and then another. The same enemy was moving to the gates at shocking speed. It came into the range of the muskets in a mere minute of the thunder which meant it had went across the whole town in that time.

 

Shock was overcome by fear. They were commanded by Brody to aim - but wait for the will to fire at this command. It stormed towards the gate with clear intention of blasting it so enemies behind could move through into deeper human territory. As it got alarmingly close, the muskets were fired in a blaze of glory. However, the enemy proved its intelligence once again by jumping several meters into the sky onto the walls of one of the solid tall buildings.

 

It used this building to launch itself onto the main road. It landed next to the muskets who were defenesless at this range.It whipped out a scythe-like weapon on either of it's hands and sliced all 15 muskets into shreds. It then advanced towards the gate. Brody used a double edged sword and charged towards the enemy.He jumped, determined to give his all to beat the enemy, and made an attack from above on the enemy.

 

The enemy made another one of its high jumps which were unexpected for Brody. It easily blocked his blade, and then manuevering him, got behind him. "How... Why... did we fail to-" Brody was suddenly decapitated by the scythe on the enemies right hand. With no soldiers to stop its attack, it charged onwards towards the gate and launched an attack on it. The weak wooden gate exploded and the path for enemies was cleared. All remaining civilians evacuated, but the enemy moved onward into human territory.

 

All nearby areas were evacuated and other Northern and Eastern territories were put on triple security. All nearby villages were stormed and the enemy took another chunk off of human territory. Humans were defeated once more. The enemy advanced at the cost of hundreds of human lives.

 

Six years later

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

- Edited out some incidents of passive voice

- Some general small edits 

- Corrected many, many sentence fragments ("A thunderous noise that could deafen you, and blinding smoke" is an example. There's no actual complete sentence in there because there's no action; you're just giving a subject and not saying anything about it.)

- A few spelling fixes (Seperate -> Separate, Asthsma -> Asthma, civillians -> civilians, swug -> swung

- Made a few adjustments to the description of injuries; some of it felt way too graphic

 

Approved

 

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I'm not quite sure where this story segment was going, but I really don't feel like I got much out of it. A lot of violence, and a lot of screaming and whatnot, but it all felt really superficial to me. 

[zaintahir 458]

 

 

 

A lot of people, including myself, like a good story where there is gore and chaos and I enjoy writing it. I was actually looking forward to many more graphic and painful deaths but I guess I'm gonna have to hold back on those. Thanks for correcting the rest though I'll keep everything in mind and put the next one up for approval today :D

[zaintahir 458]

"Put the next one for approval today" i said. And here i am almost two months later. Jeez i have to get on it.