A Normal Day on the Red Team

[JAGMAN2468 104]

A Normal Day on the Red Team

(Version 2)

 

DelatorX jumped out of his bed, he felt refreshed after his long rest after his battle filled night. He went to the washroom to get ready for work. After brushing his teeth using his Isida powered toothbrush, he proudly placed his Major badge on his suit and went down to the kitchen to make some coffee. Upon looking at his Firebird Microwave clock, he suddenly realized he had overslept for work! He quickly ran to his garage and got his Hornet M2 ready. “What turret should I use with it” he wondered. He decided to use his Firebird M2, in case he had an encounter with the ‘other side’ (aka the blue team). After quickly driving out of his garage he nearly smashed into his neighbor's house with his Hornet sliding around. He barely missed, and instead he bumped his neighbor's M3 Hunter-Thunder combo. The car alarm sounded and Delator quickly rushed away, not wanting to look like a mult. “Especially not with a Marshal…” he thought as he drove along the road. The day seemed normal enough. Children were dueling in the Sandbox, the library on Silence was quiet and peaceful (except for the parkour clubs). Unfortunately for Delator, as he started driving through the middle rank highway, another unfortunate problem occurred. Traffic. Since Delator's Firebird’s radio wires had been fried (again), he asked the Wasp-Smoky named xXGetRektMultsXx beside him what the hold up was. xXGetRektMultsXx poked his head out of the window and replied “I heard that some Mammoth shaft workers were fixin’ up some stuff on the highway. The trip through this lot is gonna take some time.” Delator thanked him and reminded himself to send him a friend request later. While he waited, he looked enviously over at the high ranker's highway. Their sporty M3s and XTs glistening in the sun. Even things on the low rank highway looked faster than this. He sighed and slumped back in his seat. After about an hour, he finally made it to his work. As Delator looked upon the chat mod building, a smile came upon his face. That smile left his face however, when he saw his boss, BigBenny123 rushing towards him with an angry look on his face.

 

“What did I tell you about getting here on time!?” He yelled at Delator while waving his hands in the air. “Don’t make me cut your salary! There are many people violating the global chat out there who need YOU!” poking Delator in the stomach.

 

 “Yes sir… I will get straight to work sir,” Delator replied glumly.

 

“Good!” Benny replied. “I expect you to stay here longer today to make out your lost time.”

 

Delator was unhappy now. “But… The Esport finals are on today…”

 

Benny looked back at him and said sternly “Get to work.” Delator slumped over to his seat and logged in the global chat.

 

The day on the chat was quite normal, he banned about 26 people for flooding, 4 people for provocation and even banned a scammer for trying to share a malicious site with viruses. Later near the end of the day Delator was checking his crystal fund which had successfully moved up to 104 389 crystals after last nights exploits, when he suddenly heard a crash! He looked over to see a unexploded magnum calibre with a note attached to it. It had “WAR IS COMING” written on it along with a blue tank on it, which was the blue teams insignia...

 

I hope you enjoyed this short story of mine! Part 2 will likely come soon ;).

Edited April 7, 2018 by JAGMAN2468

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

- One minor spelling error (Trafic -> Traffic)

- Quite a few sentence structure edits

- Formatting change (Made main text default color and normal size)

 

Approved

 

---

 

Nice story! You did an excellent job with your spelling, and pretty well with your grammar too, which is always nice. Your writing style was enjoyable; I liked how you made the "morning wake-up" scene feel nice and casual. My only big complaint would be that it's a bit short, and is more of an introduction to a larger story, but you did say there'll probably be a Part 2 so no worries there. 

Edited April 4, 2018 by Blackdrakon30

[GrandExecutioner 1,403]

Looking good!

 

I like the plotline here. You developed the scene without being too descriptive as well so that's always a bonus.

 

A little bit of length would be good though! :)

[Winters 214]

Interesting  ;)

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

The note had the blue teams insignia on it...

Hurr hurr hurr

[akiket 402]

Nice one! Waiting for part 2,3,4

[JAGMAN2468 104]

A Normal Day on the Red Team

 

(Version 2)

 

DelatorX jumped out of his bed, he felt refreshed after his long rest after his battle filled night. He went to the washroom to get ready for work. After brushing his teeth using his Isida powered toothbrush, he proudly placed his Major badge on his suit and went down to the kitchen to make some coffee. Upon looking at his Firebird Microwave clock, he suddenly realized he had overslept for work! He quickly ran to his garage and got his Hornet M2 ready. “What turret should I use with it” he wondered. He decided to use his Firebird M2, in case he had an encounter with the ‘other side’ (aka the blue team). After quickly driving out of his garage he nearly smashed into his neighbor's house with his Hornet sliding around. He barely missed, and instead he bumped his neighbor's M3 Hunter-Thunder combo. The car alarm sounded and Delator quickly rushed away, not wanting to look like a mult. “Especially not with a Marshal…” he thought as he drove along the road. The day seemed normal enough. Children were dueling in the Sandbox, the library on Silence was quiet and peaceful (except for the parkour clubs). Unfortunately for Delator, as he started driving through the middle rank highway, another unfortunate problem occurred. Traffic. Since Delator's Firebird’s radio wires had been fried (again), he asked the Wasp-Smoky named xXGetRektMultsXx beside him what the hold up was. xXGetRektMultsXx poked his head out of the window and replied “I heard that some Mammoth shaft workers were fixin’ up some stuff on the highway. The trip through this lot is gonna take some time.” Delator thanked him and reminded himself to send him a friend request later. While he waited, he looked enviously over at the high ranker's highway. Their sporty M3s and XTs glistening in the sun. Even things on the low rank highway looked faster than this. He sighed and slumped back in his seat. After about an hour, he finally made it to his work. As Delator looked upon the chat mod building, a smile came upon his face. That smile left his face however, when he saw his boss, BigBenny123 rushing towards him with an angry look on his face.

 

“What did I tell you about getting here on time!?” He yelled at Delator while waving his hands in the air. “Don’t make me cut your salary! There are many people violating the global chat out there who need YOU!” poking Delator in the stomach.

 

 “Yes sir… I will get straight to work sir,” Delator replied glumly.

 

“Good!” Benny replied. “I expect you to stay here longer today to make out your lost time.”

 

Delator was unhappy now. “But… The Esport finals are on today…”

 

Benny looked back at him and said sternly “Get to work.” Delator slumped over to his seat and logged in the global chat.

 

The day on the chat was quite normal, he banned about 26 people for flooding, 4 people for provocation and even banned a scammer for trying to share a malicious site with viruses. Later near the end of the day Delator was checking his crystal fund which had successfully moved up to 104 389 crystals after last nights exploits, when he suddenly heard a crash! He looked over to see a unexploded magnum calibre with a note attached to it. It had “WAR IS COMING” written on it along with a blue tank on it, which was the blue teams insignia...

 

I hope you enjoyed this fan made story! Part 2 will likely come soon ;) 

[JAGMAN2468 104]

- One minor spelling error (Trafic -> Traffic)

- Quite a few sentence structure edits

- Formatting charge (Made main text default color and normal size)

 

Approved

 

---

 

Nice story! You did an excellent job with your spelling, and pretty well with your grammar too, which is always nice. Your writing style was enjoyable; I liked how you made the "morning wake-up" scene feel nice and casual. My only big complaint would be that it's a bit short, and is more of an introduction to a larger story, but you did say there'll probably be a Part 2 so no worries there. 

Thanks for editing it!

[Blackdrakon30 2,943]

Topic Merged

 

I merged a new version of this story into this topic, since it's the same story. The new one is looking good!

[Magenta 5,165]

- Formatting charge (Made main text default color and normal size)

Is this really so ugly?

[gokuMI6 1,290]

Oh a nice read waiting for the part 2

[diddle_unbeatable 192]

I loved the story I just had one suggestion for all mods in writing for TO

 why not publish books ik will take lot time but worth it like Tanki Online books thts why i will go back to the library one day

[pieface101 285]

Great!

 

One piece of advice would be to slow the pace down to build more tension. ;)

[Person_Random 4,991]

Is this really so ugly?

nah. it looks pretty good.

[Acrid 36]

Nice one waiting for part 3  :)