Review [Issue 77] 10 Maps in Real Life

[Flexoo 6,980]

1st place winner of the Review category!

 

 

The 'Try Not To Fall Asleep' Introduction

Seriously though, don't doze off. I get that nobody cares about the introduction but I've kept this one short and sweet.

Without the huge choice of maps Tanki offers, this game would become really boring. Really quickly. Now before you say it already has, can you imagine how much more bored you'd be if you could only play on Sandbox for the rest of your life? Yep. That's the level of boredom I'm talking about. Absolutely dull, mind-numbing, boredom.

Maps offer diversity in your gameplay, requiring you to adapt your style and equipment depending on where you are. Big or small, open or closed, maps offer that extra element to spice up your battles.

Now this isn't one of those conventional reviews on kits, updates or even boredom. Ohhh no. In fact, it's not even a review on the boredom of updates for kits. Although... No, let's stay on topic.

I don't know where I'm going with this but basically this review will be me covering the important stuff. The stuff that you just cannot live without knowing. I'm going to be looking at what some of these maps look like in real life. That's right. I'll be checking out the maps and the places they've been ripped off from in order to compile a 'Top 10' list based on creativity and resemblance to the actual real life location. Also there will be an overall swag rating based on how lit each map is.

Please note this ranking is my own personal opinion which means it is 100% right and your opinion should match accordingly without question. If it doesn't, go play on Sandbox for the rest of your life.

Without further ado, let's get to the actual review...

Creativity: Attention to detail will be a big factor here. That includes a variety of aspects such as props, map dimensions, altitudes, etc. Put simply, how nicely crafted the map is.
Resemblance: How similiar the map is to the its real life counterpart. Pretty simple stuff.
Overall Map Swagness: How effective the map is in providing fun and nail-biting gameplay.


10. Yorkshire

The latest map added to the game and it already manages to steal a spot in my top 10. Located in northern England, Yorkshire is the largest county in the country. Perhaps it doesn't take the Number 1 spot for holiday destinations in the world (debatably not even the top 100), but the scenery is quite something. Known for its history and stunning landscape, Yorkshire has a lot of hidden beauty. But before this turns into a commercial where I try to convince you to buy a holiday home in Yorkshire, I'm going to quickly move on to the map.

 

 

Pictures speak a thousand words. Or so I'm told. I'll be using illustrations as an excuse to avoid writing text walls. You can see the comparison of the map with the actual Yorkshire (the right picture, if for some reason you're confused). Let's talk how similar it is to the real place. The size of the map corresponds to the size of Yorkshire and the traditional Victorian houses are dotted in the centre of the map. So pretty similar. That was easy.

All in all, a lot of the features have some thought behind it so it manages to score a modest 7 in 'Creativity' and a hefty 9 in 'Resemblance'. Unfortunately, I get incredibly restless playing in this map so it's a 6 for the overall rating. In my opinion, it's too large of a map (though obviously Yorkshire is a gigantic area in real life too) which makes intense battles rare.

Creativity: 7
Resemblance: 9
Overall Map Swagness: 6


9. Desert

I'm not sure about you, but when I think of a desert, I picture a lonely cactus in the middle of nowhere surrounded by rolling hills of sand. And those hills of sand seem to stretch on for miles in my head (possibly because they do in fact go on for miles). But anyway, no other place fits this image better than the Sahara desert. The largest hot desert in the world (I have to say 'hot' because I gurantee there would have been a nerd an astute reader who'll point out Antartica is the largest desert in the world).

The Sahara is located in North Africa (one country can't tame that beast), and has an area of 9,200,000 square kilometres. You don't need to do maths to know when something has that many zeros, it is big.



Unfortunately, the map is not what I imagine deserts to look like. I mean it's pretty close. There's just too many walls and houses. But the vast yellow of 'nothingness' near the ends of the map (as expected of a desert) makes up for it and drags the resemblance up to a 6. The sunset in the map isn't bad either.

I understand that you can't have a map with no props (I mean can you imagine?) so I've factored that into the next category. Nothing exceptional about the creativity of the map, but saying that, nothing atrocious about the use of the props either so a 7 for 'Creativity'. The map provides decent gameplay- particularly for DM mode- which earns it another 7 in the overall category.

I can see what the map was aiming for but maybe the offspring of Massacre and Desert would look more like a desert.

Creativity: 7
Resemblance: 6
Overall Map Swagness: 7


8. Chernobyl

Chernobyl. The name alone sends shivers down my spine. It just sounds ominous. And of course there's a good reason for that. A truly tragic incident took place here in the form of a nuclear accident. It occurred in April 1986 and it wasn't just Ukraine that was shook by the event. The whole world was too. The destructive explosion left radioactive dust and debris over a large radius.



It's pretty hard to judge this map on resemblance since it's very difficult to tell what Chernobyl looked like before it became inhospitable. You know...since I've never lived there. But even so, the map should cause us to imagine that the entire place is abandoned due to radiation caused by a nuclear catastrophe. Taking that into account, the map sort of does half the job. The central building in Chernobyl is sorta similar...sorta.

I get an uneasy feeling when I go through the central block as if I shouldn't be there. Surely, that's what going through Chernobyl feels like? Or perhaps it's because I'm fearful a Magnum is about to drop hell on me from the hole at the top. In any case I can't say the resemblance is there, but fortunately, I do get a mild taste of what the map is trying to simulate. That gets it a 6 there. There aren't many maps quite like this one so a 7 for 'Creativity' especially for how the central building is used. Fun gameplay especially if you're a fan of end-to-end action.

Creativity: 7
Resemblance: 6
Overall Map Swagness: 7


7. Fort Knox

Sinister. Am I right? Fort Knox is a US Army post situated in Kentucky (like the Kentucky of KFC for those avid fans of chicken). Don't ask me what goes on there. Just normal military stuff. Nothing else. I definitely was not held captive for 5 days because of what I discovered during my research and there is NOT a shotgun in my face making me write this. So now we have that sorted, let's get on to the map.



I've got to say the resemblance is certainly there. The usage of he towers and grey looming walls are on point. I would know. That gives it a firm 8 in that category. As always, you can see from the pictures above if you want a look for yourself. The props are what was appropriate for the map given what it is meant to mirror and anything extra would really ruin that image. Despite this I feel like there's not a massive amount of originality (I know, I know I'm pedantic). The battles are fairly fun though. What is expected of a normal battle anyway I guess.

Creativity: 7
Resemblance: 8
Overall Map Swagness: 7

6. Parma

A notoriously well-known map for XP/BP. Seen very often in eSports matches. And there's a good reason for that. The structure of the map means that a lot of teamwork is needed to capture a flag, defend, the whole lot. One of my personal favourites too. For any aspiring eSports players out there- play in this map! It will help you improve massively!

Now on to business. Parma is 'The Italian Capitol of Culture'. Famous for its prosciutto and cheese (I felt like I needed to put that out there), this city is located in Northern Italy. Weird that, isn't it? Everything in this top 10 so far seems to be north of a particular place. The 'South' stinks.



I have to say. This map looks NOTHING like the real life place. Honestly, I don't think the creator ever saw a picture of Parma before. Not to say the map is bad. Just not anything like what it's named after. You can see for yourself above. The actual Parma consists of brightly coloured buildings in a very traditional setting. The map Parma doesn't have a single building (towers don't count) but seems to have many broken bits of wall. The only reason it scores a 3 in 'Resemblance' is because they have a slight, VERY slight, Romanesque feel. You can see the cobbled floor in both the map and and the real life place. Kind of. And that's about it.

Still, top marks for creativity (like I said one-of-a-kind) and 'Swagness' of course.

Creativity: 8
Resemblance: 3
Overall Map Swagness: 8


5. Monte Carlo

You're guranteed to go through a rollercoaster of emotions on this map. From the frustration that makes you want to smash your keyboard when you're sniped for the 99th time, to the euphoria when you finally, finally, finally capture that last flag the team needed in order to clinch the victory.

A Shaft's heaven which is pretty much the main reason why I only play XP/BP on here. You might be thinking railguns can snipe you too, but railguns are less annoying than Shaft. That's a fact. Especially when you have one too.

Monte Carlo is located in Monaco, at the base of the Maritime Alps along the French Riviera (fancy I know). Breathtaking views. In fact let me do the courtesy of not describing to you the beauty and simply let your eyes take in the picture below (right).




Monte Carlo seems to have done a 'Parma' where the map looks literally nothing the place, leaving me struggling to make up something and save the similarity rating. Hang on let me try. There is water around Monte Carlo. Therefore, the map consists of only bridges to symbolise the water that would have been there. Look, I tried. Nevertheless, the likeness is shockingly bad and I'm still struggling to understand why it was named Monte Carlo. So I feel I'm being generous with a 4 here. It's fair to say there's no map quite like this one. For the layout of the map and how unique it is, I give it a 8.5 in 'Creativity'. The 'Overall Map Swagness' hits a peak of 8 but no higher for me.

Creativity: 8.5
Resemblance: 4
Overall Map Swagness: 8


4. Dusseldorf

Many have reached number 4 and are, without a doubt, wondering why the seventh most populous city in Germany- aka Dusseldorf- is doing taking this spot. It deserves #4 okay?

Known for its fashion industry and art scene, Dusseldorf is situated in western Germany (shocking that it's not north I know), and occupies the banks of the Rhine River. Okay let's get on to the map.



I mean there's no river, but it's pretty close. The brightly coloured buildings along the riverside in the actual Dusseldorf can actually be seen arranged in rows in the map too (though not as bright). On the other hand, the map has such a basic structure of simply buildings, that it doesn't get a higher score than 6 in 'Creativity'. Many like the fact that the map is symmetrical and so I've bumped up the score slightly. The central floor of the map also has a beautiful mosaic.

It may not have the best overall rating (I mean the gameplay doesn't exactly have you on the edge of your seat), but the map is a spitting image to the actual Dusseldorf and for all the memorable community events that have taken place on this map, I have to place it 4th. Heart over head on this one.

Creativity: 6
Resemblance: 9
Overall Map Swagness: 6


3. Iran

Here we go boys and girls. The big three. Hold on to your hats.

Iran. Very well designed. Hard to fault. Without a second thought, it makes it into 3rd. The map is unlike any other (anyone counting how many times I've said that?) and the structure truly is creative.

This is a country...so I'm not going to tell you where it's found. Use an atlas. Or a globe. An enormous population of 81 million, Iran has one of the oldest civilisations in the world. And so naturally, it's got to have some old architecture too. And boy is the architecture spectacular.



The picture on the right shows a famous mosque situated in Iran which I believe is what the mosque in Iran is designed after. As you can see though, the materials used to construct the dwellings in Iran (at least the characteristic dwellings) are remarkable alike the structures in the map.

Creativity has to be a 9. Completely original. Completely brilliant. No other map has stairs. Stairs! Genius! Very, very fun battles. The map isn't too big, nor too small and you are almost certainly going to have a good time in any game mode here. Very refreshing gameplay.

Creativity: 9
Resemblance: 9
Overall Map Swagness: 9


2. Canyon

Canyon and Iran are separated by a whisker. Nevertheless, one map must win 2nd place. And that's Canyon for me.

Now canyon is quite a generic term that could be used for a variety of locations (and indeed it is). But much like 'Desert', there is one site that fits this word more than any other. And that, my dear readers, is the Grand Canyon.

Carved by the Colorado River in Arizona (US), this national park is as old as 5-6 million years (almost as old as Tanki) and as deep as 6.093 feet.




 

The retreating cliffs make the sheer drop even more impressive which is a factor that is demonstrated well by the map. The ramps are utilised well to really emphasise the sheer drops and the changes in altitude scattered throughout the map. Most notably is of course the centre ramp which drops down into a trail that I can only imagine represents the path of the water. All in all, some very impressive use of structures which makes sure the map is a twin to the real place. That scores it 9s across the board.

 

My favourite battles here are the XP/BP battles (of course) and you can see some Canyon CTF XP/BP matches crop up here and there which demonstrates its popularity. Both sides are more or less balanced with some pros and cons on both sides to cancel out any huge unfair advantage. So top marks for 'Swagness' too.

Creativity: 9
Resemblance: 9
Overall Map Swagness: 9


1. Rio

I had buckets of fun on this map in the lower ranks. Nothing beat a classic Rio CTF back in the day. While these battles are no longer that common, Rio still remains the 'Top Dog' in my article.

 

Rio De Janeiro hosted the 2016 Olympics as well as several matches in the 2014 World Cup. Throughout this period, this city has been on the rise- both in terms of popularity and economy. However, the two are undoubtedly linked. But enough of this real life stuff. We want to know about the map!

 

From the most sensational views, to all the rank up parties on the beach, this map truly is special. The layout of the map, the buildings and how the different sections are split, gives it the highest mark for 'Creativity'. Playing on this map genuinely causes me to think of the actual Rio. From the sandy beaches, to the iconic skyscraper and even the tropical trees, this map has outdone itself. As a result, I have no option but to score it the maximum for 'Resemblance' too. When assessing what I should score for the 'Overall Map Swagness', I think of one question. How much fun do I have on this map?

 

I think you know my answer to that.

Creativity: 10
Resemblance: 10
Overall Map Swagness: OFF THE SCALE



An Inspirational Conclusion

It was a lot harder than I thought it would be to narrow down the 77 maps all the way to 10. Here are a couple of others which have been animated by their real-life counterparts and deserve a mention: Bobruisk, Edinburgh, Berlin, Kungur, Gubakha, Solikamsk but of course, there are plenty more.

The 'Overall Map Swagness' is fairly subjective and most likely just down to a matter of opinion. There could be other factors which influences this rating down to an individual level- like your personal experience in that map. I have a lot of good memories on some of these maps which I'm sure has influenced the rating- one way or another. There. I said it. Can you believe the nerve of me? Admitting that my own review may be biased in the review itself. How dare I.

I hope if anything, this article has inspired you to try out some of these maps. While standard battles limit our choice nowadays talk about mismatching not matchmaking, there's absolutely nothing stopping you from creating a PRO Battle on any of these maps (except Yorkshire which is found in standard battles only). But trust me, there's nothing like just having a bit of fun on a forgotten map with some friends. Or just having a drive by yourself reminiscing the old times, i.e. when you had friends.

What if you've quit Tanki? Well at least now, you're well equipped to take on that geography test first thing Monday. You don't have one? I'm afraid your teacher lied to you my friend.

And if you don't do Geography? Well then... this truly was pointless.

 

 

 

Author's Note

 

 

In the process of writing this article, I found myself yearning to travel. So much so that in the exact moment you're reading this, I'm already booking into a hotel in one the locations above. So if you need to reach me, you know where to find me. Book a flight and arrive at one of the places I've listed and you'll have a 1 in 10 chance.

Good luck!

 

 

 

 

 

Credits:
Header edited by Cpt.JackHammer

Visuals edited by Viking4s

Yorkshire Pics by Hexed

 

@GrandExecutioner

 

[REDOUANE78190 836]

So very nice continue like this guy's France win 2-0

[thethiefofvictory 339]

I KNEW while reading this that it had to be Grand! So... this is what you meant by Other and Entertainment

 

Anyways. Wonderful article with a nice amount of real facts and humor. Good one, congrats!

[Jaaames 1,622]

Love seeing fun articles like these, good job! Can I just add a possibility for #5 - I think maybe the map is based off a race track, since Monaco/Monte Carlo is one of the most popular tracks in the world. :)

[Chronicle 164]

Hands down an exceptionally intriguing piece of work. Ovation. Love the humor, and above all else the historical context on some of the maps. Looks like someone's done his homework. 

Edited July 6, 2018 by Chronicle

[You.Have.to.die 519]

Btw, Grand has not gone on Holiday to Yorkshire. So you have a 1 in 9 chance. :P

[lukey0 27,543]

Very nice, are you going to Rio?  :ph34r:

[LUCIFER1_the_dark 1,230]

Woah the Finest of Writings I ever read.

 

Grand is literally and amazing and creative writer.

 

Well done!

[gokuMI6 1,290]

He exectuted it very well

[DragonOfStorms 2,706]

Loved it. Minor nitpick though, shouldn't you use a comma instead of a period when you say that the Grand Canyon is as deep as 6.093 feet? That's pretty shallow :ph34r:

[ThirdOnion 4,898]

Loved it. Minor nitpick though, shouldn't you use a comma instead of a period when you say that the Grand Canyon is as deep as 6.093 feet? That's pretty shallow :ph34r:

Some countries have different number notation conventions.

[hogree 4,179]

riolly high quality content keep it up mate x

[GrandExecutioner 1,403]

 

I KNEW while reading this that it had to be Grand! So... this is what you meant by Other and Entertainment

Anyways. Wonderful article with a nice amount of real facts and humor. Good one, congrats!

Hands down an exceptionally intriguing piece of work. Ovation. Love the humor, and above all else the historical context on some of the maps. Looks like someone's done his homework.

Woah the Finest of Writings I ever read.

 

Grand is literally and amazing and creative writer.

 

Well done!

He exectuted it very well

Very nice, interesting resemblances :)

 

Much love <3

 

Loved it. Minor nitpick though, shouldn't you use a comma instead of a period when you say that the Grand Canyon is as deep as 6.093 feet? That's pretty shallow :ph34r:

Bully

 

riolly high quality content keep it up mate x

<33333 You finally peeled away from TSR and logged on. :P

 

Btw, Grand has not gone on Holiday to Yorkshire. So you have a 1 in 9 chance. :P

I may indeed be near your home in a creepy way.

 

Love seeing fun articles like these, good job! Can I just add a possibility for #5 - I think maybe the map is based off a race track, since Monaco/Monte Carlo is one of the most popular tracks in the world. :)

Google has failed me. Edited July 10, 2018 by GrandExecutioner

[thethiefofvictory 339]

riolly high quality content keep it up mate x

Hog? Am I dreaming? Wow, did you actually post? :D

Edited July 10, 2018 by thethiefofvictory

[GrandExecutioner 1,403]

Hog? Am I dreaming? Wow, did you actually post? :D

I found him hiding in a forbidden land.

[thunderousrailgunner 1,934]

I found him hiding in a forbidden land.

Good work that you found him (you attracted him with chicken I guess :ph34r:)

 

Great article. Had a good read ;)

[GrandExecutioner 1,403]

Good work that you found him (you attracted him with chicken I guess :ph34r:)

Great article. Had a good read ;)

Lol thx. I found le hog a couple of months ago but he's busy with uni and stuff.

[thunderousrailgunner 1,934]

Lol thx. I found le hog a couple of months ago but he's busy with uni and stuff.

Happens with all great guys, Time :/

[jollyroger-420 21]

I don't think i am even fit to say this (given that I have only played in only about 3-4 maps) but really great.

However the map Massacre is very special to me. I used to rank up in massacre before MMS and even now rejoice it. Mainly and possibly because of the fact that I love sniping.

 

Happy Tanking :) 

 

and happy mapping :lol:

 

[GrandExecutioner 1,403]

I don't think i am even fit to say this (given that I have only played in only about 3-4 maps) but really great.

However the map Massacre is very special to me. I used to rank up in massacre before MMS and even now rejoice it. Mainly and possibly because of the fact that I love sniping.

 

Happy Tanking :) 

 

and happy mapping :lol:

 

 

Unfortunately the targeted audience of my article would probably change from ordinary players to serial killers if I added real life pictures of 'massacre'.

[You.Have.to.die 519]

Wait, does Hexed live in Yorkshire??? Umm... 

[Total_SkiIl 1,983]

I didn't like the 8th one.

[hogree 4,179]

Hog? Am I dreaming? Wow, did you actually post? :D

summer holidays gotta have a throwback, spent many an hour hyping up this newspaper reliving the mems  :wub:  :wub: (i know its a dead q but old name?)

<33333 You finally peeled away from TSR and logged on. :P

ahaha didn't realise, you're the guy :D smashing stuff, a levels go alright?

Edited July 12, 2018 by hogree

[GrandExecutioner 1,403]

summer holidays gotta have a throwback, spent many an hour hyping up this newspaper reliving the mems  :wub:  :wub: (i know its a dead q but old name?)

 

ahaha didn't realise, you're the guy :D smashing stuff, a levels go alright?

*cough* Don't know what you're talking about. Haven't smashed anything in my life.

 

I choose to ignore A-levels exist until results day.

[thunderousrailgunner 1,934]

summer holidays gotta have a throwback, spent many an hour hyping up this newspaper reliving the mems  :wub:  :wub: (i know its a dead q but old name?)

 

ahaha didn't realise, you're the guy :D smashing stuff, a levels go alright?

Will you stay hog? :rolleyes: