Knockout

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

Knockout

 

 

Barry kept fighting the sandbag. His own advice rang out in his head, “Harder, faster, stronger, repeat”. Keep going, you can do this. Left, right, hit it with another right, don’t let it rest. A bead of sweat appeared on his forehead.

 

“Come on old man, you’ve still got some strength in you.”

 

Barry faltered. Those words weren’t his, they were Mike’s. Michael Muekina. Former boxing welterweight champion, a great friend of Barry’s, and his most successful student in all of his forty years of teaching boxing.

 

Mike had started as a lowly street kid who happened to wander into one of Barry’s classes. It was a stroke of luck - the young Mike would soon turn out to be his best student, and not long after starting classes, he found a job, a home, a life off the sidewalk pavement. Barry quickly gained the confidence in Mike to let him go into more professional boxing, and within the next five days, he had won his first ever tournament. Then another. And another. And another.

 

It wasn’t long before his flawless record was noticed by more prestigious boxing championships. Mike was soon competing on the world level, and against every odd imaginable, never lost a single match. One fateful day had him fighting the champion of the welterweight division. It was a hard-fought match, but in the end, the morning after saw the crowning of a new winner. Barry remembered very clearly the conversation he had with Mike just after reading about it in the newspaper:

 

“Why the long face? Relax. You’re the most famous person in boxing history now.”

 

“Guess. How’d I become so popular?”

 

No-brainer.

 

“Forty-three wins, no losses.”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“That’s a problem?”

 

Michael turned and looked at Barry. He told him to listen carefully, then spoke softly:

 

 “I want to lose. I want a challenger who makes me suffer, someone who can give me a low point. Force me to feel human. If it’s only human nature to feel failure’s sting, what does that make me?”

 

Mike got his wish. The former welterweight champion easily defeated him in a rematch, and just like that, right after letting the world know about it in big bold headlines, the media forgot all about Michael Muekina.

 

But Barry never forgot. He gave the punching bag some respite and looked out the window. A few kilometres away from his gym, hidden by rows of houses, was the Freneza Penitentiary. One of the people locked up in there was once a former welterweight boxing champion. Jailed for first-degree murder.

 

Michael lost his first match right across the street from Barry’s gym. A single defeat against a man with a gun.

 

---

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Approved!

 

Interesting piece! I think it was written quite well. Other than that, I don't have much feedback. There wasn't much room for plot development, which is understandable as it was written for the contest. It would certainly be interesting to see if you'll continue the series.  

[thethiefofvictory 339]

Mmmm, Lolkiller is approving articles a lot right now it appears :P 

 

Also, great one Mydoom! The twist at the end was good. If it was written for Write for Tanki, I'm honestly surprised it didn't win anything at all.

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

aaa hold up where's the spoiler it explained everything

 

Thanks for the feedback all!

 

 

Mmmm, Lolkiller is approving articles a lot right now it appears :P

 

Also, great one Mydoom! The twist at the end was good. If it was written for Write for Tanki, I'm honestly surprised it didn't win anything at all.

It wasn't written for that contest thiefofvictory, I didn't write anything for that. I, uh, I forgot about it hehe

[thethiefofvictory 339]

aaa hold up where's the spoiler it explained everything

 

Thanks for the feedback all!

 

 

It wasn't written for that contest thiefofvictory, I didn't write anything for that. I, uh, I forgot about it hehe

A: 'Thief' sounds better.

B: Then what is our dear Lolkiller talking about when he mentions a contest?

C: You can edit and insert the spoiler

D: When is Ants coming?

E: Once again, great story!

Edited July 8, 2018 by thethiefofvictory

[Total_SkiIl 1,983]

 

Michael turned and looked at Barry. He told him to listen carefully, then spoke softly:

 

 “I want to lose. I want a challenger who makes me suffer, someone who can give me a low point. Force me to feel human. If it’s only human nature to feel failure’s sting, what does that make me?”

 

Mike got his wish. The former welterweight champion easily defeated him in a rematch, and just like that, right after letting the world know about it in big bold headlines, the media forgot all about Michael Muekina.

 

But Barry never forgot. He gave the punching bag some respite and looked out the window. A few kilometres away from his gym, hidden by rows of houses, was the Freneza Penitentiary. One of the people locked up in there was once a former welterweight boxing champion. Jailed for first-degree murder.

 

Michael lost his first match right across the street from Barry’s gym. A single defeat against a man with a gun.

 

Did not exactly understand what all this meant...

 

Explanation pls, flabs.

Edited July 8, 2018 by Total_SkiIl

[thethiefofvictory 339]

Did not exactly understand what all this meant...

 

Explanation pls, flabs.

Michael wanted to lose, to feel human. He got his wish when the former welterweight champion, enraged that someone beat him, came to him and shot him to death. 

[Total_SkiIl 1,983]

Michael wanted to lose, to feel human. He got his wish when the former welterweight champion, enraged that someone beat him, came to him and shot him to death. 

Ah, I get it. But, still, what about "Michael lost his first match right across the street from Barry's gym. A single defeat against a man with a gun."? This essentially means that there was some Michael, but, he died already and all what happened in the plot was Barry's dream on his deathbed. 

 

lol

 

 

---

In my opinion, the twist wasn't exactly well-connected to the plot. gg

Edited July 8, 2018 by Total_SkiIl

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

Eh, feel whatever you like about it. Again I think I rushed it too much, and the 450-word constraint was nuts.

 

Anyways, the contest was an IRL thing, this was the entry I submitted. Too lazy to just rewrite everything that was in the spoiler so oh well

 

---

 

 

D: When is Ants coming?

Gonna finish either today or tomorrow edit: sike

Edited July 9, 2018 by mydoom.exe

[Total_SkiIl 1,983]

Eh, feel whatever you like about it. Again I think I rushed it too much, and the 450-word constraint was nuts.

 

 

Gonna finish either today or tomorrow

Take this into account, pls. Antman :3

Edited July 9, 2018 by Total_SkiIl

[mydoom.exe 5,154]

Take this into account, pls. Antman :3

Legitimately laughed with this  :D

 

 I'll take it into account, no worries. Thanks!