The Secret Behind Overdrives

[Destrod 2,634]

A Porsche, a tin of coke and an overdrive all have one thing in common; they run out of gas before you want them to. Most people press shift and don't bother to care what happens inside a tank when the holy blue light glares into the eyes of fear-stricken tankers, who only wish they had attained good grades and never would've had to play Tanki in the first place. Here's a list of hypotheses which could be the inner feelings of a tank when a certain human decides to shift into heavy gear (please excuse the pun, it's a habit):

 

• The Tank had a Mexican night out and drank a few canisters of artificially brewed beverages such as Nitrodka, Doubelarmor martini and of course, a Tank's favourite, Power beer. How is this related to a Mexican night out you say? All the drinks were consumed with a heavy dose of enchiladas, thus resulting in a sudden outbarst of alcoholic perfection.

 

• Trouble with the wife. Believe me, even Tanks have to face the dreaded discussion sometimes, where humans yell and argue, Tanks do it much more simply: one concentrated Railgun shot to the hull. Of course, the husband always re-spawns near the edge of the map, but the situation becomes even worse if the re-spawn location is back at the house; then two Railgun shots is the lucky number, and the mistress has had literally no time to think things through. So whenever your tank is ready to go into overdrive, always remember he has an angry wife waiting for him with Railgun shells.

 

• This hypothesis was suggested by a local country man. The hypothesis was, Texas. No reason, just Texas. Like blaming the Night-Sisters is a custom in the Reporter hall, blaming Texas for nothing is a custom on Earth. 

 

• Chuck Norris breathing. Think about it, what if this superhuman was actually linked to us on a more grander scale? As we know it, Chuck Norris was there when no one else was, how do we know that he didn't hardwire his sub-conscience into the Tanki servers? If so, the day overdrives stop coming, will be the day Chuck Norris dies. I believe this was the reason it was introduced in the first place, good ol' Sergei thinking we wouldn't find out, his secret is out now.

That's it for today please like and subscribe for more Minecraft videos and send your donations to www.iphone.com they really need it k thx bai

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Approved!

 

Quite a humorous piece. I quite enjoyed reading it. What I find interesting is that two people who left reporter-ship came back to write in the AWS. 

 

Regarding Chuck Norris:

 

[Chronicle 164]

Going by the title, I went in expecting something on the lower end of mediocre. But that... that has buttered my eggroll, well-written master Destrod. I once poked Chuck in an attempt to get a signature, had to undergo several hours of excruciating pain until I was rushed to the hospital. I lost my hand that day. True. 

[thethiefofvictory 339]

Thanks for writing this, because it's forced me to write an actual analysis of hull overdrives design lol

[Magenta 5,165]

A Porsche, a tin of coke and an overdrive all have one thing in common;

They're not familiar with the idea of the Oxford Comma.

[thethiefofvictory 339]

They're not familiar with the idea of the Oxford Comma.

What's the Oxford comma?

[Magenta 5,165]

What's the Oxford comma?

Google it.

[thethiefofvictory 339]

Google it.

The comma is unnecessary in this case, Magenta, fancy pink cult leader, and molt.

[Magenta 5,165]

The comma is unnecessary in this case, Magenta, fancy pink cult leader, and molt.

It totally is necessary. Desty is listing items, so the comma is necessary; a tin of coke and an overdrive are not Porsches.

[Destrod 2,634]

It totally is necessary. Desty is listing items, so the comma is necessary; a tin of coke and an overdrive are not Porsches.

Let's put a dot in the matter and be done with it, I've obviously lost my touch after months of multing, my last written article was in December, although I had a few stacked up waiting to be published later on

[Destrod 2,634]

 What I find interesting is that two people who left reporter-ship came back to write in the AWS. 

 

 

Well, writing is something I can never escape entirely, although I am freelancing a bit and because of retiring, I am free, and am not entitled to responsibility. 

Anyways, I'm glad you made it to the team, and I'm amazed so see how much you've grown from your first approved article in the AWS. Hoping to read some good stuff from you, but in the newspaper this time :P

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Well, writing is something I can never escape entirely, although I am freelancing a bit and because of retiring, I am free, and am not entitled to responsibility. 

Anyways, I'm glad you made it to the team, and I'm amazed so see how much you've grown from your first approved article in the AWS. Hoping to read some good stuff from you, but in the newspaper this time :P

Thanks a lot for your wishes! I hope to continue hearing from you too Destrod!

[Magenta 5,165]

Let's put a dot in the matter and be done with it, I've obviously lost my touch after months of multing, my last written article was in December, although I had a few stacked up waiting to be published later on.

Yeah let's put a dot on this :ph34r:.

 

Anyways, article was funny.

[aqwzsxedc 699]

nd subscribe for more Minecraft videos and send your donations to www.iphone.com they really need it k thx bai

lmao xD

Nice man love this  :D