Untreated, Chapter 2

[Person_Random 4,991]

 

“Heretics typically faced death because they went against the church beliefs. Glad to know that you’re finally joining us, Ms Palano because you do realise that we will have a test sometime soon?” he finished, casting a look of disapproval at my glancing towards the blank walls.

 

Finally, after several minutes, the bell rang, and I stepped out of the classroom. Only one class left to go: science. After a simple discussion on photosynthesis, the teacher decided to force us to finish some worksheets, and I had quite a bit of free time. Taking out my journal, I noted a large number of new words in the code languages I have. Finally, when the final bell dismissed everyone, I rushed to get my instrument and follow Kris, Ethan, and Bryanna to the Avail Academy bus.

 

Even though nobody else had other things to do before getting to the bus, I always arrived in front of all the other middle school students. Also, if I didn’t, Mr Hervon, the bus driver, shot me a poisonous look. Just because my parents and the Hervons weren’t too close to each other meant that I didn’t have all the privileges that the others had.

 

After a long line to the music room, I checked my watch as I passed the sidewalk. 2:37. In about three minutes, I would face a lecture, and I knew I needed to hurry. In my haste, I thought I heard something clatter to the sidewalk as I dashed across the streets.

 

Fortunately, I made it just in time, and clambered on the bus and sat on a battered seat. Though the bus looked slightly clean on the outside, the floors could revive a colony of dead ants with the number of crumbs on the ground, and the cracks between the windows usually revealed globs of dried gum. Once the bus began to close, I checked everything in my backpack, hoping that I only dropped a few pencils.

 

Everything was intact. However, where was my notebook?

 

Thinking back, I must have dropped it around the campus. Hoping that Mr Hervon was in a good mood, I asked, “ Mr Hervon, can you stop? I dropped my notebook!”

 

Instead of pulling over, I saw his venomous stare for a moment as he continued driving away. The last I saw was the shiny cover of my notebook on the pavement before we turned away.

 

 

Welcome to this new series.  I hope you've read Chapter 1, if not, it's here.  Enjoy!

And please respond to my writing!  The feedback I get is really helpful for Chapters 3 and 4.

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Approved!

 

Honestly, this has to by far the best description of a bus trip with someone who you don't like. Don't take that offensively; I'm amazed by how you managed to take something so simple as a bus trip, and managed to turn it into this very well written narrative. I found no real mistakes (or I missed them).

[thethiefofvictory 339]

Ah, just what I've been waiting for. Great job, I'll be eagerly waiting for more! You write and describe very well, and I liked that. Also, you've managed to create a pretty interesting world. I want more!

 

Also, eleven days to approve a 400-word article that doesn't even have mistakes? shoots venomous glance

[LOLKILLERTOTHEDEATH 1,921]

Ah, just what I've been waiting for. Great job, I'll be eagerly waiting for more! You write and describe very well, and I liked that. Also, you've managed to create a pretty interesting world. I want more!

 

Also, eleven days to approve a 400-word article that doesn't even have mistakes? shoots venomous glance

I would have done it sooner, but I didn't have much time.

[Person_Random 4,991]

Approved!

 

Honestly, this has to by far the best description of a bus trip with someone who you don't like. Don't take that offensively; I'm amazed by how you managed to take something so simple as a bus trip, and managed to turn it into this very well written narrative. I found no real mistakes (or I missed them).

well, then, taking a bus trip with people you hate in a broken down vehicle that cant navigate for 100+ days can give you some inspiration.

 

And thiefofvictory, nice job quoting my story stuffs

Edited August 22, 2018 by Person_Random

[P.4.R.K.O.U.R 329]

Brilliant.

[Person_Random 4,991]

Well, I am one with torturous middle school experiences exacerbated by even more torturous afterschool experiences.  And the bus was pretty disgusting on the inside.   While the outside may have looked well painted, the inside of the bus was so dirty and filled wit crumbs, bugs, etc.  The principal kept yelling at us to clean it up, so I decided to retaliate by giving him a dorky name in this story.

P.S. he even showed a pic of those really neat japanese/korean people cleaning up their classrooms and making food to make us feel bad.  And i'm not going to get into the part where he showed us the pic of the unflushed toilet.

Edited August 22, 2018 by Person_Random

[Person_Random 4,991]

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY WRITING ALREADY????????????????
DO YOU NOT LIKE THIS SERIES?????????????????????????????
I'M SORRY THAT YOU DON'T BUT THE ENDING IS GOING TO BE GOOD!

 

just pls someone respond 

dont leave me hanging.....

[TankiNoob2000 231]

Nice story :)