3. "Unmarked"

[tweezers 1,034]

 

I miss being scared of sudden death.

 

I miss jumping at the slightest noise.

 

I miss being a rational person with rational fears.

 

And I hate that violence has become commonplace, that the sight of blood has become commonplace, and that acceptance of death has become commonplace.

 

I hate that all those things have let me survive this long.

 

I hate this goddamn war.

 

*

 

Night vision glasses watch the fading glow of the retreating jeeps’ lights.

 

A hand reaches carefully for a thermally camouflaged electronic notepad and enters the precise time, followed by a single line’s worth of description. The owner scans the area ahead of it in sweeping strokes of 180 degrees, intently searching for the slightest movement.

 

For three quarters of an hour, it sees nothing.

 

Then, the scene changes.

 

A relatively quiet heavy duty engine cranks into life and idles lumpily, cutting through the still darkness. The figure swings towards the source of the noise immediately, holding the glasses with one hand and searching for the notepad with the other. At first, it sees no untoward movement or disturbance in the foliage. The engine’s idle slowly becomes smoother as it warms up for the next five minutes. Still, nothing moves.

 

The engine’s clatter is abruptly interjected with the sound of gears dropping into position, and now there is definite movement.

 

Branches and small bushes are pushed aside, snapping and splintering as a medium sized tank emerges from the darkness, slit - like headlamps casting a dull glow ahead of it. The figure, still concealed, lowers its night vision glasses and quietly surveys the slowly moving metal contraption. It notes the long, low body, the elongated barrel of the oversize gun mounted to it, as well as a distinct oddity, visible even in the gloom.

 

The lack of any marking upon the body of the tank.

 

It picks up speed slowly, and vanishes in the opposite direction to the convoy it destroyed, the sound of its engine the last faint trace of itself the only thing it leaves behind.

 

The figure stays a moment after the machine leaves, noting its relative speed and direction at the last point of contact then stands up, stretches and retrieves a motorcycle standing hidden against a large boulder. With a little persuasion, the tiny two-stroke engine sputters into life, and the figure retreats.

 

 

*

 

Not one of us, and not one of them.

 

Not a single distinguishing mark on its hull.

 

Not a variation in its pattern.

 

Destroy one of ours, destroy one of theirs, repeat.

 

All the while not answering the question that I, and I suspect they too are struggling with.

 

Why?

 

Check out the rest of the series if you're a tad lost :P 

Part One

Part Two

 

 

[kaisdf 3,320]

Article Approved.

 

Unlike Lolkiller with your last piece, I had somewhat less difficulty finding inaccuracies :P
Having said that, the story is superb, saying just enough for the imagination to run amok with theories and questions. Love it. Preferred your story in General 1 though.

 

Edits:

•  “Heavy duty” is, I believe, hyphenated.
•  Is “lumpily” a word? I left it in, but MS Word spellchecker didn’t agree with me.
•  “[…]With a little persuasion, the tiny two-stroke engine[…]” - Comma after the introductory element; you don’t need a space either side of a hyphen

 

Pedantic Nit-picking ftw

[Drey 879]

Wow this is great. 

[Hippin_in_Hawaii 639]

Loving it!

[tweezers 1,034]

Article Approved.

 

Unlike Lolkiller with your last piece, I had somewhat less difficulty finding inaccuracies :P

Having said that, the story is superb, saying just enough for the imagination to run amok with theories and questions. Love it. Preferred your story in General 1 though.

 

Edits:

•  “Heavy duty” is, I believe, hyphenated.
•  Is “lumpily” a word? I left it in, but MS Word spellchecker didn’t agree with me.
•  “[…]With a little persuasion, the tiny two-stroke engine[…]” - Comma after the introductory element; Don’t need a space either side of a hyphen

 

Pedantic Nit-picking ftw

Thankee! I'm going to start a collection of those stories one day. And yeah, lumpily is a word, although I think US spellcheckers disagree. 

 

Wow this is great. 

 

Loving it!

:wub:  Thanks for the kind words! 

[Pythor 1,354]

Awesome! I think only one word can describe this story---- Lumpily :)

[Magenta 5,165]

• [...]Comma after the introductory element; don’t need a space either side of a hyphen

Don't capitalise the first letter after a semi-colon. Do that after a full-stop, but not after a semi-colon.

 

Pedantic Nit-picking ftw.

[kaisdf 3,320]

Don't capitalise the first letter after a semi-colon. Do that after a full-stop, but not after a semi-colon.

 

Pedantic Nit-picking ftw.

Evidently I proofread the piece, but forgot to proofread my response :x

[Aigaion 636]

instead of saying "relative speed and direction at the last point of contact" you can just say "velocity"  :o  ^_^  :lol:

Edited September 24, 2018 by Aigaion

[tweezers 1,034]

instead of saying "relative speed and direction at the last point of contact" you can just say "velocity"  :o  ^_^  :lol:

But relative speed and direction at the last point of contact sounds so much cooler...

 

Besides, to me at least, velocity makes it sound a lot faster than it actually is. 

[P.4.R.K.O.U.R 329]

instead of saying "relative speed and direction at the last point of contact" you can just say "velocity" :o ^_^ :lol:

Literature doesn't always go along with science...

And remember, tweezers is a third-order lever. :lol:

[Person_Random 4,991]

This is amazing...

 

 

...but why all those choppy sentences??

 

 

 

:ph34r: 

[tweezers 1,034]

This is amazing...

 

 

...but why all those choppy sentences??

 

 

 

:ph34r: 

Because I is choppy writer  :P

[Person_Random 4,991]

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