999 [Part 2]

[Lose 881]

I completely forgot about the Hunter + Striker, now set on looking for that famed drop zone before it was too late. I was too busy looking at the skies for it falling, I didn't realize I had passed right over it until somebody started shooting at me. I quickly ran and hid behind a building, waiting for the box to appear. I looked around, and was shocked to see at least 10 tankers waiting with me. They tensed up, knowing it would appear at any moment soon. 

 

When it appeared, everything went silent. Nobody shot, moved, or anything. Then, everybody surged forwards. I knew I wouldn't be able to get it, but I didn't care. I used my recoil to get on a Viking + Shaft, now at a vantage point. As the Viking + Shaft surged forwards, I heard a whoosh, then a huge explosion; a Magnum and Titan had just wiped out more than half of the tankers. I looked around, and saw Claudia. Whether she saw me wave at her, I still don't know. Then the Viking hit the forming pile of tanks. I saw 2 Dictators on the crowd, right behind me. There was no hope. I loaded up my Railgun, not giving up without a fight. The shot went through them both. One blew up. Then the second one blew up. I paused for half a second, shocked at what I had managed to do. Then I went and tried to balance on the surging pile of metal. Fire, shots, and screams filled the air as people started getting destroyed.

 

Then I saw him.

 

It was a Dictator + Smoky. At first he seemed normal, but then he started jumping through the air like a grasshopper. I took a second to process the jump hacker. Then I came back to my senses. He was right by me on the constantly moving crowd. He rammed into me, hard. I couldn't fight back. As he was destroyed, I flew off the pile. I quickly spun my turret around, now facing the ground. As the gold box came closer to the tanks, I shot. An impossible shot, there was no way I could have gotten the gold box without a miracle.

 

And then a miracle happened.

 

I shot, giving me a bit of recoil. At the same time, the Magnum + Titan from earlier shot. This impact force sent me flying through the air. I went past the Viking Shaft I used as a boost, past who I believe was Claudia, and kept on flying like a commercial airliner. The Dictator on top of the crowd was about to get it. Remembering the jump hacker, determined not to let the Dictators win, I shot again. This send me doing flips through the air. I hit the side of the dictator. For a moment, it looked like I would fall back down. Then I fell on the Dictator. The gold box fell slowly, the tension increasing.

 

Then it touched my Wasp on the corner.

 

It floated away, disappearing. Still in shock, I fell to the ground, watching as the tanks came over their shock and started attacking each other like before. I found Claudia.

 

"Hey Claudia, did you see that?!" I asked excitedly. "That was epic, wasn't it!"

 

I looked at Claudia, she looked at me, fear in her eyes. Then a rocket hit her and her tank exploded, just like Death_And_Horror's did. I just stared at her as she slowly faded into nothingness. I charged past her, looking for the attacker.

 

It was the Hunter and Striker. 

[Flexoo 6,980]

Approved. nice continuation ;)

 

Edits:

Minor fixes, like capitalization of few hull names, few commas added.

 

Also not a mistake, but I think numbers in the text are better in the written form, so not "2nd" but "second", etc.

[thethiefofvictory 339]

Also not a mistake, but I think numbers in the text are better in the written form, so not "2nd" but "second", etc.

I agree with that. Also, great story again!

[Lose 881]

I agree with that. Also, great story again!

 

Approved. nice continuation ;)

 

Edits:

Minor fixes, like capitalization of few hull names, few commas added.

 

Also not a mistake, but I think numbers in the text are better in the written form, so not "2nd" but "second", etc.

thanks both of you!  :)

[Person_Random 4,991]

I read this during church service and this inspired me to write again.  Thank you very much.

Now on to the evil critique.

I loved the description, it was very well written.  However, you might want to work on formatting (Titan-Magnum over Titan+Magnum or describe the hull and turret without explicitly stating it.  If you are upset about this, you can critique my next article.  I promise it has many spelling and grammar errors!  Until then...

[Lose 881]

I read this during church service and this inspired me to write again.  Thank you very much.

Now on to the evil critique.

I loved the description, it was very well written.  However, you might want to work on formatting (Titan-Magnum over Titan+Magnum or describe the hull and turret without explicitly stating it.  If you are upset about this, you can critique my next article.  I promise it has many spelling and grammar errors!  Until then...

im glad i inspired you to write some more and honestly im not mad at your critique, i feel i need it to make my stories better

[Cyber2_O.o 64]

I have an idea for a story similar to this one, with the same concept of a Tanki scene. It's a different scene though! Is it okay if I write it?

[Lose 881]

As long as you don't directly copy or plagarize it's Fine.