Slender Man Returns: Part 1

[TankiNoob2000 231]

I just finished the new set up of my bedroom. I moved to a new house because my old one was too big. The one I was gonna live in was a decent looking 2 story house with a balcony. When I finished putting the bed sheets and pillows on my bed, I took a deep breath, sat down and played on my phone. Just that second, I heard a knock at my door.

I went downstairs and opened the front door. There was a man who looked like he was in his 40s with black sweatpants and a Patriots T-shirt. I was in my Ravens jersey so I asked the man in a bright exuberant tone; "You like the Patriots huh?" The man just nodded and pulled out a sheet of paper and gave it to me. He saluted as if to say: "Good day!" I replied with a salute as well but something about the man made me feel eerie.

The paper he gave me was all crumpled so I had to uncrumple it and read his message. All the note said was: "He is back for more. Get out of here!" I'm pretty sure the man was joking around with me. I basically went upstairs and put the note on my desk. It was around 1 PM now so I watched some NFL games. My Ravens went into the bye week after a win so I felt happy. I kept on having to switch channels every 10 minutes to watch all the games. Fast forward 2 hours and I called it quits and decided to go up and play Tanki. I heard a guy revving his motorcycle.

At first, the sound didn't annoy me but when he kept on revving it non stop, that really got me triggered and that's when I finally took action. I opened my window and in a demanding tone I told him; " Low that thing down! You can fix it later!" The guy replied back at me; "Alright sorry. I'm just trying to fix my bike" Now, with him out of the way, I could resume playing Tanki.

It was 10 PM now and I decided to go to bed. I brushed my teeth, put on my Ravens pajamas and hopped in bed and slept. As soon as my head hit the pillow I thought about the note the man gave me earlier. I decided not to worry about it. I fell fast asleep around 2 AM in the morning, but I woke up to some sound.

" Must have been the wind", I thought to myself but when I looked around, I saw 2 papers on my desk. I was wondering how the second one got there. I picked the new paper and it said: "Don't look or it will take you." I was scratching my head for the next 5 minutes and after that, I decided to turn my light and there he was, the Slender Man.

My heart raced with fear as I said out loud; "You aren't real!" Slender Man was just standing on the wall near my bed. I jumped out but then, I felt sick. All of a sudden my mind was driving me crazy. There were high pitch sounds in my head and I was yelling because of the pain.

"It can't be happening! How is he real today?!" I was stumbling all over the place and I turned dizzy. Slender Man was standing there and when I tried to look at the tall figure, he teleported away. I was still feeling dizzy and I eventually passed out. A neighbor of mine noticed that my lights were on but then he saw me lying on the floor. He tried to shout; "Why are you still up bro?!" He realized that I passed out and he called 911 right away. I was holding one of Slender Man's pages when I passed out.

The ambulance came 15 minutes later and they rushed me to a hospital, one of the people in the car saw what I was holding and when he read it, he threw up. Another person in the van read the note and he told the driver to hurry up to the hospital. While the van was moving, he saw Slender Man peering at him and the guy ducked out of his way. We arrived at the hospital and the doctors managed to keep me alive.

To be continued.....

[Flexoo 6,980]

Approved.

 

Edits:

- capitalize Tanki, it's a proper noun.

- do not put space between the word and a colon/semicolon, e.g. "he said:"

- avoid starting sentences with a number. Usually, it's best to reformat the sentence or use the full written form.

 

There was also this strange last sentence in the first paragraph that I decided to completely leave out.

 

 

I just finished the new set up of my bedroom. I moved to a new house because my old one was too big. The one I was gonna live in was a decent looking 2 story house with a balcony. When I finished putting the bed sheets and pillows on my bed, I took a deep breath, sat down and played on my phone. Just that second, I heard a knock at my door. I bought a knife just in case the guy was hostile.

 

 

 

That was a bit random. What guy? I felt that some sort of introduction was missing to it. For example: "I heard from my new neighbor that there's some hostile wondering guy in this area, and so I decided to buy a knife. (I would very likely put a different weapon here, though.)

[Person_Random 4,991]

The ending wasn't quite as I expected.  But overall, I really liked it.

 

Also, challenge me to write something and I will.

Edited November 29, 2018 by Person_Random

[Pythor 1,354]

I challenge you to write "The Only Thing Worse Than Writers Block Chapter 1" ... PART 2  :ph34r:

[Person_Random 4,991]

I did, but idk where it is RN.

It could get kicked since WB1 was spelling and grammar error filled. Gnatty approved it but kais said it was like 100 chess matches with the king and queen in the wrong places.

Edited November 30, 2018 by Person_Random