The Story of Lucky and Pumpkin (Chapter 1)

[Cyber2_O.o 64]

Author's Note:

 

 The Story of Lucky and Pumpkin was a story I made while I was in fifth grade (Wow, I was so young back then), during November for a NaNoWriMo project. Over the next few years, I had added on and revised the story, but the theme and story got messed up after the original seven chapters. So if this story (not just this chapter, mind you) doesn't feel long enough, it's probably just because it took the wrong turn and ended up... somewhere weird.

 

 

~Chapter 1~

 

I was warm and cozy under some of my mom’s softest feathers, a little newborn baby cardinal, with beady black eyes. It was a little dark, but that didn’t matter. So far, all I had done was sleep, sleep, sleep. My name’s Lucky, by the way. My sister’s name is Rose (in remembrance of the time she fell into a rosebush, according to Mom) and my brother’s name is Stripes (for the faint, red stripes on his feathers). It’s unnatural for a bird to have one egg at a time, like my egg, but I guess my family is unique. Rose and Stripes were born at the same time, so I’m the only unnatural one, but it gives me something that makes me... well, me. Stripes’ wings were weaker than Rose’s, so he learned to fly way after Rose did. Also, according to Mom, there was another male bird in the family, someone called Dad. I’ve never met him, and I wasn’t sure Rose or Stripes had either. They’ve never mentioned him before.

 

I’d only just gotten comfortable when my siblings flew into our nest, chirping about how fun flying was. It wasn’t fair that all my other siblings got to fly everyday. All the fun stuff about being a bird was too dangerous for me, like flying. My wings still had weak muscles that wouldn’t support me if I tried to fly, but my wings were almost fully fledged, so I knew it would be soon. It’s summer right now, so I think it would feel great to fly around and get wind under my wings.

 

“Lucky, tomorrow I think you’ll ready to fly a little. Just once around the nest and back, okay? If you don’t think you can make it, tell me, okay?” That was my mom, in her cautious-but-caring self.

 

“Why are you telling me now?” I was curious. She could have made it a surprise for me. Still, perfect timing. I was just thinking about flying.

 

“Well, I’m getting old, so I might not remember. You can remind me. Besides, you'll have something to look forward to tomorrow,” Mom chirped.

 

“Wow, I think you’re the best mom ever! I always wanted to go flying! I don’t think any mom has let a bird that was five days old fly! You’re great! Will you teach me? Will I get to fly off on my own? Will I? Do you think I would get used to it on the first try? Oh, I can’t wait!” I was so excited. If I’d heard better news right then, (and I don’t think I could,) I would explode from all the excitement. Rose always said that if a bird (it doesn’t matter which) got too excited, it would explode. I didn't think that was true, but then I've never seen a bird so happy before.

 

“Well, everything depends… But most birds learn quickly. If I had to teach you, you’d still get to fly, but later. But it’s unlikely that you will get it the first time,” Mom chirped. I stopped listening after ‘quickly’. I was dreaming about soaring in the open sky, feeling the wind ripping through my feathers. Finally a chance to prove myself to Rose and Stripes! Just wait and see!

 

That night, I woke up to the sound of my sister chirping about how she saw a worm just out in the open.

 

“It was right in front of me! Does it even know how to hide? I think even newborns could catch that meal!” Rose was making my tiny ears hurt, and it wasn’t really that important. It’s just a worm! I thought, exasperated.

“Um, Rose, could you quiet down a little? Lucky’s still sleeping,” Stripes whispered. Wow, he didn’t even notice I was awake? I thought angrily. But I kept my eyes closed and listened to the conversation.

 

“Go back to sleep. It’s not even sunrise yet! I don’t know what you’re doing in the middle of the night, but can you please quiet down! If you want to get a snack, that’s okay, but don’t make a fuss about it!” Mom said. That shut them up. I would ask Rose tomorrow why she went out. I don’t think the only reason was just to get a snack.

 

---

 

“Wake up, Lucky! New day, new things to do!” The first thing I heard was Mom calling me. “Don’t keep your sister waiting!” How did I forget about flying? I don’t usually forget about important things like that! Well, come to think of it… I’d only been born a few days ago. I didn’t have enough time to forget things.

 

“I’m coming! Just wait for me to get up,” I said, shaking off Mom's feathers and rearranging them back into their pile. It was my first day getting out of the nest! I stretched my wings. I’m going to use them a lot today.

 

I glanced around. “Where’s Stripes?” I asked, noticing he was gone.

 

“Oh, he’s just catching food for us,” Rose chirped. What? I wanted my brother to watch. Well, at least Rose and Mom were there.

 

“When I’m flying, will I fall?” I asked.

 

Mom sympathized, “Don’t worry about falling. When I flew for the first time, I fell three times before I got it right. Every bird has to fall. No one has ever flown on their first try." Great. Now I was nervous.

 

“Yeah, remember when Stripes first tried flying? He fell and you had to fly down to get him back in the nest,” laughed Rose. Was that supposed to make me feel better? 

 

“Will it hurt?” I asked. 

 

“Well, it depends. If you just jumped off, it would hurt a lot. It might even damage your wing or bend it, if you’re lucky. And you are, right?" Mom laughed. "If it’s pretty low, it will hurt less.” That kinda made me feel better, especially the joke about my name, but I was still shaking in my feathers.

 

Now I wasn't sure I wanted to fly. What if I hurt my wing? I didn’t want to stay in the nest until my wing healed. Still, I wanted to feel the wind under my wings, and have a great time soaring in the sky, feeling the wind in my feathers when I went into a dive for prey.

 

“I’m ready,” I said, trying to sound excited. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I had been thinking about this moment every day (well, for five days, since I‘d only been born five days ago, not counting today), and now, I had a feeling that it wouldn’t be as fun as I had thought.

 

“Let’s go! What are we waiting for?” Rose said, impatiently. She took off before anyone could react. I dived after her.

 

As I jumped off the rim of the nest, I flapped my wings as hard as I could. I was slowly falling. I flapped my wings harder, but I was tiring fast. My head dipped and my beak pointed toward the ground. The wind rushed towards me, making me close my eyes. I folded my wings on my body, so I wouldn’t damage them, and I plummeted towards the ground. I felt some of my weaker feathers fall off. I heard the wind roaring in my ears. I opened my beak to scream. I was about to smash into the cold, unforgiving ground.

[kaisdf 3,320]

Article approved.

 

Very nice piece, it's interesting to see life from another perspective; I like it!

 

Pretty accurate overall, but you need to make sure to keep tenses consistent.

 

Edits:

• Changed a couple of tenses
• Changed some words to improve flow

[Pythor 1,354]

Nice and lighthearted. Enjoyed it!

[Hippin_in_Hawaii 639]

That's pretty high-level content for a 5th grader! Very enjoyable!