Returning to my homeland

[Mursal 58]

Returning to my homeland

 

As I trudged through the perpetual crowds of people barging through each other and falling like dominos on the floor, I covered my eyes with my hand slipping down on my forehead. It was so busy that there wasn’t even enough space to even breathe in and sweat dripping across every inch of my body; scorching sunlight hammered its rays onto the cooked concrete and whatever came in its territory. The train station was as dirty as I remember.

 

Recognising every house and every person and every death suddenly hits my brain with all these stupefying memories of when I was just a little boy. All these years seemed like it had just happened yesterday. Even now, I could remember the events in my head, reliving the horror which I hadn’t noticed, which proved that I had a lot to learn and the lucky pick of me getting an education was something I wouldn’t regret. Neither would my parents not regret it too.

 

Anxious and delighted, the feeling of getting to talk to my parents, especially my mother, thrills my entire body and I uncontrollably shakes due to the unbearable excitement. Although my father drank alcohol and abused my mother, it was still a moment which I will never forget.

 

Moments away from reaching my small, dusty hut, I see my impatient mother through the corner of my eye, both her eyes darting towards me and me only as tears immediately begin to slide down my cheeks. She runs up to me and does what she always used to do. Her delicate, bony fingers crawling next to my cheeks as I could smell the mucky and stained clothes, flashing in the sizzling village. Dry skin that looked untouched was dotted around her body as if it were some disease growing rapidly on her but knowing she was the one who raised me and loved me with her soul, I stay motionless to the ground, letting her care for me.

 

“Anil!” she mumbles while tears stream down her face “Look at you, my Anil! You've grown into a man.” And she kisses me on the centre of my forehead.

 

“I’m so sorry for not saying goodbye, Ama. I should have told you in person and I should’ve – “

 

“No no, Anil. Don’t you be sorry because you made the right choice” and she pinches my chubby cheeks with a smile starting to form on her face. “Look how big you’ve grown, my Anil! A lot taller than me. The last time I saw you, you were beneath my hips!”

 

“You haven’t changed, have you now?” I chuckle as my mother playfully slaps me across the face and grins at me annoyingly.

 

“Where is Apa?” I ask.

 

She ignores me and dashes towards the kitchen (which is something new) before I smell the scrumptious dishes alluring into my nostrils as I recognise them almost instantly; my favourite foods when I was a child. Filling the carpet up with food, she bellows from the kitchen, “I hope you enjoy my effort on this because I made this as a special feast for the two of us”.

 

“What about – " But she stops me instantly, telling me to sit on the floor and eat.

 

Time flying ever so fast with my mother persistently leaving a giant smile marked onto her face makes me forget about all the negative memories that I witnessed during my youth years. No other place would be as better as to be staying in right now and with the interminable conversations going on for hours, I imagine what it was like for my mother to suddenly leave me. And most definitely, I am wondering where the hell Apa is at.

[Mursal 58]

I based this on a story by Ridjal Noor who wrote "Anil". In this, there is a 7 year old boy with a mother and father who live in a village in Malaysia. They are in poverty and a murder takes place during midnight when Anil couldn't go sleep and needed to go to the toilet. The next morning, he knew who committed the murder (hanging up a woman) and tells the person who did it himself. So that no one else finds out, he gets sent on a train almost immediately to get a better education.

I wrote what happened after 10 years of him being gone from his village and his reaction to when he meets his mother as he arrives back there. Although, his father seems to not be there. 

[Person_Random 4,991]

Approved.

 

Firstly, welcome to the AWS! I really enjoy your writing; this story felt very personal and filled with very evocative description. If you're thinking about writing some more, you could try extending this story because I'd really want to know where Anil's father is at.

 

Edits:

 

 

 

 

Spoiler

• Minor phrasing fixes
• A few commas added

 

[Sacrifice 2,278]

I have read the story, seems interesting and without doubt, very rich vocabulary has been used which is something I can't relate to, so way to go man! Keep it up! 

 

I put the spoiler here just so that I could tell my eyes were glued till the last word of the story. ^^

 

Edited January 31, 2020 by Sacrifice

[Sabrytoun_Superman 677]

very good story, i love it,there's no other word to say how i love this