contest Humour Town

[Sacrifice 2,278]

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Um no, its just Sacrifice with a new contest (Yay?!). Anyways, humour requires another sense, called "nonsense", to both understand and execute. With a little practice, bearable troll, and goofiness, everyone can master this art. This brings us to today's contest "Humour Town".

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Your task is pretty simple and: all you have to do is to write a humorous story regarding any of your experiences in Tanki Online and post it down below. 

Criteria:

It's best if you guys know how your entry will be judged so you can prepare your story according to it. Here is what will be judged:

• Your approach to humor.
• How well you explained your experience in the given limit.
• Types of words you used in the story (General evaluation).

 

Rules:

Woah woah, slow down! Not so fast. There are certain rules you must be aware of before submitting your entry. They are:

• Your entry must be posted down below. Entries posted anywhere other than in this topic will be ignored.
• Your story must be between 150-200 words.
• General Tanki Online rules should be followed while writing the story. Any violation of TO rules would lead to a straight disqualification of the user from this contest (or even future ones, so be careful).
• Swearing or insulting other contestants entry will negatively effect your entry.
• Plagiarism is forbidden, as usual.

 

Remember:

• Grammar mistakes will be taken against you during evaluation so do proof read before posting.
• Multiple entries are NOT allowed.
• Quality of paragraph is given preference over its length.
• You can create the story from your imagination (it does not have to be have happened in real life).
• The deadline to submit your entry is April 20, 2020.

 

Prizes: 

Because why not? Here are the prizes:

First place: 40,000 Crystals.

Second place: 30,000 Crystals.

Third place: 20 000 Crystals.

Consolation prize for deserving entries (10,000 Crystals).

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Results will be announced within a week after the deadline. If you have any inquiries regarding the contest, you can ask them down below. Good luck to everyone participating! 

 

[Viking4s 10,791]

Chandler Bing is the king of nonsense.

nice contest!

[Beef36 18]

My Entry:

A couple of months ago I was very low on crystals. I had earned a gold box from on of the challenges. Then I realized something. If I created a regular battle (with no-one else in), I could drop the gold box and I would get 1000 crystals. Simple.

After I figured out my plan, I created a battle and I was the only one there when I dropped the gold box. I searched around for it, then out of the corner of my eye, I saw the beautiful thing, glistening in the sun. I even used one of my speed boosts so I could reach it quicker. Then something terrible suddenly happened.

Somebody joined the game just before I saw the gold box, however I didn’t see them when they joined the game because I was extremely happy about seeing the gold glisten in the sun. Then seconds before I was going to catch the gold box, this person that joined the game, came took what was rightfully mine. After, I felt so stupid, it was quite funny though. After hours of hard thinking, I finally realized why my plan failed…

I didn’t make the battle private.

[Beef36 18]

Is this where you post the entries, because if it isn't, I'm screwed

 

[Sacrifice 2,278]

17 minutes ago, Beef36 said:

Is this where you post the entries, because if it isn't, I'm screwed

 

Yes. Your entry has been accepted. 

[Sacrifice 2,278]

Guys, all entries are to be posted in this ARTICLE! Thank you.

[Lose 881]

(OK, lets give this a shot.)

 

Alright, so you might be wondering why I have premium. Did I get so many April Fools gold boxes that it stacked for weeks? Did I buy premium, even though I swore off buying for good? I'm here to tell you. 

 

So here I was, playing for the first time in a couple months. Even here, I'm making mistakes. First of all, it's a DM match -- I don't remember ever winning one. Second of all, I was on my Lose account. Do you want to know what combinations don't work well in Gubhaka DM? That's right, Magnum and Wasp. Oh yeah, my combo, Railgun and Wasp, also is pretty bad.

 

So here's where I made another set of mistakes, just like my parents did. Not only was I using supplies, but I was also wasting my overdrives.

 

Then the super-gold dropped. Nobody knew where it was, except for me. I sat my butt down on the drop zone. I was completely alone, nobody in sight.

 

M-M-M-MONSTER KILL BY LOSE!

 

I ragequit after that, and bought myself 1 year of premium. 

 

So, yes I did catch a super-gold. Yes I have premium. But I also have anger issues and access to my mom's credit card.

 

~Lose

[fu2121 2]

I used to play Tanki Online everyday when i was a kid in a public library, I would always win, i stopped playing tanki online because i didn't go to the 

library. Just 2 days ago my brother mention the game and I tried to log in but i forgo my password so i made a new account, i remember my password

and now i am playing again, this game was my childhood. I still play but I am not good as i used to be. I do the daily mission because i like the reward

they can be very useful sometimes and i like to get the crystals so i can buy stuff and i have premium for like 1 more day and i helped me a lot

hopefully i can get it again so i get better stuff and the 30% discount right now is really use full and i am buying more turrets and stuff. Hopefully I win. 

Edited April 11, 2020 by fu2121

[bld2000 40]

On a summer vacation, tanks were battling with each other in a dry kungur. That battle was on fire, battle score was 0-0 . None of the team had captured a single flag and only 2 minutes left. Both teams couldn't had attack or defend because of sneaky railguns that were camping.  Those railguns had either flipped by shooting enemy turret or killed whoever took their beautiful flag. While blue teams's railguns was killing red team's player by using the "Peek-A-Boo" tactic, a red team's player had gone to blue team's base and was just waiting for the moment when all the railguns will be reloading. Finally, they all were reloading. That Picasso said to himself  "O yes, this is the right moment to take the flag" . As he was thinking and taking the flag. Somehow, a railgun had reloaded and aimed directly to that Picasso. An enemy viking saw him and started to follow him, Picasso didn't even realized that someone was following him. It was the right moment for the viking to shoot and kill him, but it failed, a red team's hornet freeze blocked and took the shot to himself. That hornet was proud that he let himself get destroyed to save his teammate. But that was not still it, an enemy wasp had  came to base. Poor unlucky wasp, it was close but he missed that shot. And for the enemy railguns who were in the enemy base were looking for that Picasso. They were saying to themselves  "O god, help us find that Picasso". But it was too late.. Only 3 seconds left for the game to end. Could the Picasso make it? Or no ?. Some of the religious tanks of red team were praying to god "O god, please let us win! let us capture it! " God had listened to it. Picasso had captured the enemy flag and thanked to that freeze and all of his teammates for defending good. That Picasso made the day !

[ILiveOnTheChatBox123 936]

On 3/10/2020 at 4:55 PM, Sacrifice said:

Your task is pretty simple and: all you have to do is to write a humorous story regarding any of your experiences in Tanki Online and post it down below. 

Can it be about the forum, your username, the chat, etc. or is it restricted to in-game stories?

[Sacrifice 2,278]

Just now, ILiveOnTheChatBox123 said:

Can it be about the forum, your username, the chat, etc. or is it restricted to in-game stories?

Yes it can be about forum and other TO related topics. However, make sure it does not violate any rules as well as does not target a specific person. 

[rujuawesome 1]

My Entry:

So here I was playing in my speedy wasp and really good firebird(m3). When I clicked on the yellow space icon(I think this was a new mode), next to the play button my game started. Somehow, right when I spawned in Madness DM, a few seconds later, a gold box dropped. Now since I had forgotten a lot about this map, I didn't know then that you could float when you went really fast and tried to 'jump' over to the other places. So, I put on my speed boost and since I was already a wasp, I went really fast towards the gold box which was already on the ground. Luckily, no one had seen it yet and when I was so close to the gold box I started floating, and landed upside down in the middle of nowhere and got destroyed by a railgun.

 

The End.   

 

 

Edited April 13, 2020 by rujuawesome

[CyborgPenguin 282]

Here I go:

 

One time, I was about 50 exp away from ranking up. I made a public battle (so I could gain a lot of exp), and invited all my friends. I lineup them all up. My plan was to do an epic flip on a mine and then a 360 degree shot. The mine was in position. My tank was lineup up perfectly as well. I went over it with my trusty Railgun and Hornet XTs. So far, everything was going according to plan. I landed right in front of everyone and I spun around with my combo to get an extremely epic shot. Unfortunately, on this day, this hour, this second..... I had made a crucial mistake: not making the battle private. So, as the light shined on the end of my turret and I got ready for an epic rankup, a shaft came out of nowhere ans killed me a millisecond before my shot would have fired.

[Volturo 181]

Here I am, an unsuspecting thunder wasp entering an April Fools event battle. I spawn near a clump of tankers with full supplies. I am dead within seconds. As I am moved to the other side of the map, I notice something peculiar. A super gold is in the bottom of the pit! Nobody else seems to have noticed it, as everyone continues firing away without seeing the treasure below their wheels. I jet off towards the pit. I am less than 10 meters away when suddenly, my tank slows down. A freeze has gotten hold of me. I spawn all the way in the corner. On my second try, a pack of wild firebirds snaps at my heels until I am once again destroyed. Well, third time’s the charm, right? Wrong. This time, I get blasted to shreds by a magnum. Somehow, the super gold is still untouched. Minutes go by, and finally, in the last 20 seconds, I get a lucky spawn right by the pit. I drive in and touch the gold. My tank explodes. What??? Another magnum shot? How is that possible? Then I look up and see the dreaded message: “M-M-M-MONSTER KILL by Volturo!”

[Sacrifice 2,278]

NOTE: The due date to submit your entry is April 20, 2020. The topic will be closed and no entries will be accepted afterwards. Anybody who hasn't yet submitted their entry (by posting it in this article) or has yet to write one, better hurry up!

[ILiveOnTheChatBox123 936]

Hi folks;

When I selected my username for my new alt that would later become my primary account, I kind of thought the name suited me. However, I never intended to put myself in solitary confinement.  Now while word limits and reactions cooldowns are not my kind of thing, I realize that many others use the forum solely as a casual way to chill, and are not as interested in spamming posting new content often. Yet somehow, Newspaper Reporters are able to churn out a plethora of interesting articles, on a large range of topics. I sometimes wonder how they are able to facilitate this great change in their production. Are they stuck in solitary confinement until they create a new article?

During my recent tour of the Reporters headquarters, I thought my hypothesis was clearly true. I overheard @kaisdf berating @Sacrifice why he had not created the new ‘Humor Town’ contest as he promised. I observed him head into an obscure room. I clearly heard the whirl of his equipment as he got to work. I tried the door handle, but the door lock was stuck! The door read, “Do not disturb”. Was @Sacrifice really in solitary confinement? T.B.C.

Spoiler

(200 word cap forbids me from finishing the story, and since most players will get the joke without me backtracking that it really is not solitary confinement, I will have to let it be. If I win you will see a continuation, and maybe a more detailed version in the AWS. This story is exactly 200 words. Please don't let this spoiler count for the word limit!)

 

Edited April 19, 2020 by ILiveOnTheChatBox123
Linked Names

[E_polypterus 2,374]

My entry;

There we were, enjoying a nice Tuesday evening, battling away in Düsseldorf CTF. All was well... But then, Vot was this? Ze gold box drops! Everyone got exited and headed to the middle of the base to find the drop zone. But I, being a Vulcan mammoth knew I had no chance. Still, I thought I'd inspect my base for the drop zone. Lastly, feeling less hopeful, I searched the corner most area of my base... I saw it! The gold box drop zone!! And those fools went to the middle of the base. HA. But then..... Szplug! A fully drugged freeze-wasp was approaching me! He was Sergmaster95. I had no time to shoot, with Vulcans slower turret rotation speed while freezing, I was toast. Then, I saw my overdrive!...97%!.  Sergmaster95 was nearing. 98%...nearer...99%. He reached me. 100%!!! I press shift. Success!...he dies. Then;

Me: HA! LOSER

Sergmaster95: Are you sure about that?

Me: Wha-

(Szcrutinence!!! I had only then seen it. He had activated his overdrive mili-seconds before destruction and the timer was at 2 seconds!)

Me: NOOOOOOOOO

Sergmaster95: HAHAHAHAHAHA. DIE!!!

The bomb explodes.....

 Later: Sacrifice has taken the goldbox.

 

Edited April 19, 2020 by E_polypterus

[Sacrifice 2,278]

Fabulous entries. Best of luck to everyone participating!

The topic will now be closed and no more entries will now be recorded. 

Results will be posted next week and prizes will be issued to the winners on Monday preceding the result day. 

[Sacrifice 2,278]

Sorry for the in-convenience caused, results will be published on this coming Friday. Sorry to keep ya'll waiting!