Falling

[Lose 881]

You're falling -- you don't know when the falling started, and you don't know when it will end. All you know is that it's what you're doing now. You know that you're falling at, or close to, terminal velocity, but you can't hear the wind rushing in your ears. The clothes you are wearing are rippling, your hair seems to be trying to escape you, but you don't feel anything. Each and every way you look; left, right, up, down, you always see nothing but darkness. You are completely and utterly alone.

 

As you wonder what your friends and family think happened to you, desperation starts to kick in. Getting out quicker would mean getting to the people you love faster. You are scared of what might happen. You are scared of what is happening, and you are scared of what caused this to happen. You rack your brain to try to remember what happened beforehand, and terror kicks in. On the verge of crying, you just stop thinking. You need a break. Closing your eyes, you let your mind wander.

 

In the middle of this, you start to feel some other emotions. Hope starts to emerge as you think about the endless possibilities. You could become a whole new person -- a new life, a new personality, and a new start. You start feeling hopeful, you start feeling happy. Remembering all the arguing that happened at home, you're glad you can now be completely alone. Nothing to worry about. No parents fighting in the background, no work, no anxiety. It seems like the deal of a lifetime to you.

 

But while you are imagining the endless possibilities that are available, in the back of your mind the darkness still lurks. You remember your old family, your old friends, and everything you miss. The pond by your house where you would go with your friends to try to catch frogs on a Saturday evening. Throwing rocks into the lake with your friends after school on a Tuesday while complaining about English. Getting home and greeting your dog for about an hour until she calmed down. You'll miss the simple things, but you'll also miss doing band concerts with your friends in front of the whole school. You'll miss showing your friends the new piece of writing you made. 

 

The darkness and the light begin to fight in your mind. One minute, you are excited and prepared for what might come after this, and the next minute you're terrified of everything, from the falling to the eerie silence that envelops you while you descend. Occasionally, the emotions that are clashing inside your head will match up, and you will experience momentary peace like the Yin and Yang. But then the next moment they are clashing yet again.

 

The light takes over darkness. Darkness takes over light. It never gets better, never gets worse. Emotions flood through your mind. Emotions you haven't felt in ages. Emotions you felt on the daily grind. Emotions you hoped you never would feel, and emotions you never even knew were there.

 

Hope, then sadness, followed by peace. Happiness, seconded by depression, and finally gratefulness. Love, then shame. Joy, in company with anger. Surprise. Horror. Trust. Anxiety. Admiration. Grief... They all flash by at a increasingly speedy pace, the thoughts accompanied with the emotions getting louder and louder each time. Louder and louder, faster and faster, it starts escalating at an exponential rate. 

 

And then you finally snap. You start screaming at the top of your lungs, with no specific emotion playing in your mind. Nothing means anything to you. You are unable to register anything that is currently happening and might happen. Constantly screaming, you just want this horrible torture to finally end. The pain, the feelings, it's finally broken whatever sanity you had left. As you forget your emotions, you also forget yourself, where you are, why you are there. You forget who you are. But none of that matters as you yell into the never ending darkness that has taken over your life.

 

It doesn't stop. You don't stop falling, the darkness never gets brighter, and the emotions never get better. But eventually, you feel your voice to start to die out. At first it is slow, and barely noticeable. But suddenly, it cuts out. No noise can be made by you whatsoever.

 

You're now endlessly falling. In the darkness, emotion, friends, family, anything and everything you ever loved is taken away. You are alone, left with nothing and nobody, not even yourself.

 

~Lose

[Pythor 1,354]

Article Approved

 

Brilliantly written piece contrasting the plethora of emotions we feel on a daily basis. All our hopes, joys, and fears become tied up in the various tough situations we face in life. While it doesn't necessarily have a happy ending, this story reminds us that we are only humans. We really are slaves to our own mind. 

Let's give it up for Lose!

 

Edits

Spoiler

- Reworded a couple sentences to improve flow 

- Fixed a few absent modifiers (i.e. "Constant screaming, just wanting this horrible torture to finally end." There's no subject in this sentence at all. Who is screaming? Who is wanting the torture to end?)

- Overall very clean piece. Enjoyed the read!