Containment in Skyscrapers - Chapter 8

[tankicola 111]

 

Chapter 8

 

There was a stunned silence. Suddenly, a fearful buzzing filled the air, and the crowd stepped away from the broken aircraft. Justin walked forwards with Hunter, Levi, Grant and Grandburg; they all examined the bodies with wintry disgust. As they stepped over the corpses and examined the metal blades that impaled most of the victims, a silence blanketed the murmuring. Hunter appeared, initially obscured by six large metal poles. He nudged Justin. Together, they moved the poles to reveal a hidden hatch. Justin kicked it open and went inside. Redman eyed the hatch warily.

“Are you sure it’s safe to-”

But Levi and Grant had already entered. 

 

Later, Justin, Levi, Grant, Hunter, General Reeves, six other generals, twenty-six majors, and five corporals were handing out lunches and making camp. The sky was a dark shade of blue now, and the air was moist and windy. Redman joined his group with a can of watery pears,  six cold pink roasted beef patties flattened against two slices of bread, five juice boxes, and twelve bottles of clear water. He put them all down and then disappeared, re-appearing minutes later with a camp chair, a few logs, a couple of matchsticks, and a lighter. Soon, crackling fires drowned out the noise of birds, the whistling of the wind, and the shaking of the shadowy trees, whose branches had already become a place of refuge to two groups. As Rose shivered and leaned closer to the warm fire, she looked back and saw the half-destroyed buildings; the towering figures were blocking the entrance into the SMG. Infinitesimal glass shards were picked up by the wind and were blown into the air with the sand, lighting up the sky with pinpoint glintings of light. 

Cherry was stroking Bill’s hair, gazing at him with watery eyes that stood out against her dirt-streaked face. Leo was eating slowly, looking at another group, whose members were laughing at an inaudible joke. Liam was resting with his head upon a log, his sandwich half-eaten, his juice box lying crumpled on the ground. A fuzzy silence had rested upon the group, blocking out the noise of their surroundings so all they could hear was a roaring in their ears. Redman exchanged awkward and touched glances with Rose, who had the sense to pretend to be asleep. Then the darkness went up a few degrees, and Redman, who had been awake for five hours into the night, rubbed his eyes and rolled over onto his back. 

 

Also, starting from chapter nine, chapters will be much longer! ( around 1000 words for each chapter.) 

 

[Pythor 1,354]

Article Approved!

 

An enjoyable continuation to this fantastic series! There were a bit more grammar mistakes in this piece when compared to your previous chapters. To eliminate these easy tweaks, I'd suggest reading the article aloud to yourself and making appropriate changes. This serves two purposes. First, it allows you to put yourself into the readers' shoes and recognize sentences that might be lacking a logical flow of ideas. Secondly, it serves as a great way to proofread your piece from a grammar standpoint. 

Looking forward to the next installment! 

 

Edits - 

Spoiler

- Insertion/removal of commas & other punctuation 

- Reworded a few areas of confusion within the text

 

[Lose 881]

Very excited for chapter nine!