other [H'ween] TWNC - Fall 2020 Edition

[Pythor 1,354]

Hello and welcome back everyone to the TWNC seasonal broadcast! Thank you for tuning to today’s special Halloween show. We have an exciting lineup planned for the day, including everything you need to know regarding the grand opening of Kaisland, breaking news about Barda’s 7.9 magnitude earthquake, and a compact dissection of the best trick or treating locations in the Tankiverse. Of course, these stories will be supplemented with our iconic weekly weather forecast, traffic, AWS article awards, and TWNC contest, but with a twist. Need I say anything more? Buckle up, folks. You’re listening to Tanki’s very own Weather and News Channel at 6:00! 

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If you would like to quickly browse through any of the sections, the links are provided below.

  Weather

 Traffic

 News

 Article Awards

 Halloween Contest

 Outro/Sponsors

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~TWNC~

[Person_Random 4,991]

 WEATHER

Top-notch forecasts and the hottest weather stories right at your fingertips!

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7.9 Magnitude Earthquake Shatters Barda 

Barda isn’t exactly known for its picturesque and serene landscape. Quite the opposite, actually; this map is famous as a war torn battleground - a ghostly reminder of what ravaging tournaments like TOF Dream Team and Setups can do to a once thriving metropolis. Craters ten feet in diameter scatter the floor, gouged out by magnum artillery shots. Houses and walls still smolder from where Firebirds once graced their sides with scorching hot breath. Radiation thickens the atmosphere thanks to the number of unstable Ricochet and Railgun discharges within Barda’s boundaries. This is the home to bands of roving nomadic mercenaries, content with dwelling in the steel heart of former carnage.

 

Everyday Action on Barda.

With such a rich history of destruction and devastation, its ground riddled with unexploded mines, Barda hasn’t been the ideal site for any scientific research. In fact, little to no geology information is known about this wilderness. Scientists and geologists alike are content to estimate Barda’s makeup based on what is already known regarding the nearby counties of Kolhoz and Desert. No anomalies are prevalent in these regions, so for the past ten years or so, everyone has assumed that Barda also has little to no distinct geological features. Thus, it came as a shock when, on the morning of October 25th, a gigantic earthquake struck this isolated ghosttown. Reading nearly 7.9 on the Marcus-Semyon scale, this monstrosity caused tremors to reach all the way to the outskirts of Rio - three counties over. Glass windows were reported broken up to a 150-mile radius of the quake’s epicenter, and numerous sinkholes have opened in multiple neighboring cities. Based on the magnitude of this earthquake, the research team here at TWNC now thinks that Barda lies directly on a major fault line running south by southwest beginning at Tanki’s northern coast. This justification could also help explain the mysterious 2019 earthquakes in southern Tanki X. They were originally thought to have been triggered by the armageddon-like volcanic eruption that completely wiped out all residents of this republic. However, we now think the tremors were merely a result of the massive Cedric fault line, as it has now been dubbed. An elite biohazard squad with ample amount of Isida support is even now en route to the scene. This team has a two-pronged goal. One, to collect evidence, extract samples, and run thorough tests on the structure of Barda. Two, to recover the remains of Abovo - supposedly buried beneath the rubble. 

Tectonic plate shifting has been some cause for concern ever since the addition of a brand new plate in Challenge A of July this year. Information regarding any future threats and exactly how far south the Cedric fault line extends is still pending. However, we at the studio highly advise everyone living in the vicinity of Barda to be prepared for possible quakes in their area. The TWNC team is currently working on an informational article detailing the necessary steps that should be taken to prepare for these natural disasters. Look for it to be released along with our other weather segments in the winter issue. 

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Drought Poses Threat to Agricultural Hub

Have you ever paused and wondered where supplies come from? All of those double damages, double armors, repair kits, and nitros you use on a daily basis? All those mines you discretely lay in the hopes of catching an enemy tank unawares? The countless batteries that fuel your closest drone companion? We all know the finished products are stored in Factory and Industrial Zone, but where do the raw materials originate that make supplies possible? The answer would be in the far southern regions of the Tankiverse, namely the province of Scope. The mild weather combined with its nutrient rich soil make this area the ideal place to harvest active ingredients for double damage and double armor as well as excavate high concentrations of natural oils for nitros and batteries. This region is the home to a hardworking group of farmers (who coincidentally don’t live in Farm) known as Green Clan. They are an organization both directly funded and overseen by the government. Yes, this means our tax money is going towards a band of unethical Amish peasants… but that is besides the point. While they can be frustrating to work with and are sometimes downright annoying, what these Green Clan members do is vital to the existence of Tanki. If work ever stops down on the agricultural patties of Scope, Tanki as we know it will cease to exist. To look on the bright side, if this does end up happening, mothers won’t have to worry anymore about their children overdosing on drugs. 

You have the backstory, so now let me share the problem. A fairly wet summer for Scope has led into one of the longest droughts ever recorded in that area of the Tankiverse. Barely an inch of rain has fallen in this region since the middle of July, meaning that for the past three months, harvested ingredients have dwindled down to an alarmingly low level. The agricultural community is currently looking for an alternate site to conduct further planting, but this would mean that Tanki could be running on limited supplies for up to a month. An appropriate site would first have to be selected, extensive research would have to be done regarding where exactly the ingredients exist in high quantities, and drilling and extraction techniques would need to be employed for a minimum of two weeks until there would be any signs of production. The effects of this wait could prove disastrous to the entire country. 

As of now, there are enough supplies produced to keep the game alive for at least the next few weeks. If the drought continues any longer than that, ration cards might have to be issued for the first time since the founding of this country in 2009. Severe supply shortages would lead to an expansion in black market dealing and a general sense of chaos reaching every nook and cranny of the Tankiverse. We could be facing the largest crisis of this generation. 

  

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Weather Forecast & Ten Day Outlook 

Let’s move onto the weekly weather forecast. Halloween weekend looks promising as a whole, as the unprecedented Indian summer continues with an average of 74 degrees (F) across the Tankiverse. Some southwestern provinces, including Rio and Kungur, could see temperatures get into the 80s as Saturday afternoon rolls around. As evening approaches we’ll see a steady drop into the low 70s and high 60s - quite the balmy night for aspiring trick-or-treaters. According to our radar, Sunday will prove to be equally as fair. A high of 78 and a low of 72 will extend all across the western seaboard, encompassing the counties of Magadan, Novel, Dusseldorf, Rio, Kungur, Red Alert, and Polygon. Northwestern regions could potentially see a few Thunder showers towards the middle of the day, but these will quickly give way to a sunny afternoon and early evening. Enjoy this nice weather while it lasts folks! Get out into the battlefield and take advantage of the pristine conditions and juicy events. 

Monday will be the final day of this much coveted Indian summer. Even as night approaches, the temperatures will drop considerably in the east as a cold front moves in from the Goges Sea. Northern counties could even see a slight Freeze overnight. Going forward, we’ll see the average temp stabilize in the 50s and the chance for nocturnal Freezes to continue to rise. 

For the ten-day outlook, our focus today will be the most heavily populated Tanki province, Rio.

 

-10 DAY OUTLOOK-

Saturday	High 82 Low 73	50% Rail	30% Magnum	20% Fire
Sunday	High 78 Low 72	40% Rail	40% Rico	20% Fire
Monday	High 70 Low 54	40% Smoky	30% Hammer	20% Thunder	10% Freeze
Tuesday	High 58 Low 49	50% Rail	30% Freeze	20% Hammer
Wednesday	High 54 Low 38	50% Rail	40% Freeze	10% Shaft
Thursday	High 55 Low 42	40% Rail	40% Freeze	20% Shaft
Friday	High 54 Low 40	50% Freeze	50% Rail
Saturday	High 58 Low 45	50% Rail	30% Freeze	20% Thunder
Sunday	High 56 Low 40	40% Thunder	40% Freeze	20% Rail
Monday	High 51 Low 42	60% Freeze	40% Shaft

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~TWNC~

[Person_Random 4,991]

 TRAFFIC

Stay on the fastest roads for the best trick-or-treating experiences!

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Welcome to traffic on the 8s. Halloween traffic conditions look decent at best, so pedestrian travel might be the best mode of transportation. Our official TWNC chopper, piloted by none other than PR himself, has picked up some interesting information regarding travel times. The Dusseldorf Turnpike is currently backed up all the way to the Opex train station, with an estimated 2 hours to travel the ten miles into downtown Dusseldorf. The outbound Koffleart is also experiencing some heavy traffic (yet again, I know) due to a four-tank pileup on the I-69 exit ramp. A Firebird rollover has stalled traffic to a standstill on the inbound Les Alterman. I would highly recommend avoiding this congested area at the moment. The annual Halloween parade in Parma has caused a small backup on the I-90 East tollway, but according to multiple reports, the Freeze brigade should be arriving on the scene to direct traffic fairly soon. This is traffic on the 8s, presented by Jay’s Music Studio and Doosan Tires.

 

 

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~TWNC~

[Person_Random 4,991]

 NEWS

Keep up to date with all the new Tankiverse updates!

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Kaisland: The Grand Opening

One of the greatest architectural achievements of this modern era is about to open to the public - the one and only Kaisland Water and Theme Park. Residents of the area are already including the park with the 7 wonders of the Tankiverse, alongside structures such as the towering Semyon Monument and the massive Temple of Godmode_ON. Kaisland is a family-friendly complex of twisting roller coasters, spinning cup rides, and hundreds of gaming booths, all situated in the middle of a deserted cornfield in Berlin province. In the exact center of the complex stands an erect stone statute of the park’s benefactor, kaisdf himself. Surrounding the central square is a ring of roller coasters, ranging from the death-defying “Dictator Devil”, which sets the record for the fastest wooden roller coaster in the Tankiverse, to the calm and meandering “Kais wants a sandwich”, only available to toddlers under the age of 4 (no parents permitted). Little do mothers know what really lies in store for their innocent offspring. During the course of this ride, these unassuming toddlers will be subjected to a constant barrage of sliced ham and squirted mayo. At various points on the ride, there are spooky recordings of kaisdf quoting things like  “toddlers are my new favorite snack” and “henlo miscreants”. Before coming to a screeching halt on the exit terrace, riders are sprayed with a concoction of laughing gas. The sight of twenty laughing toddlers disembarking from the coaster will prove to waiting mothers that the ride was a positive experience for their kiddos. 

The ultimate highlight of Kaisland lies on the northern edge of the park. It is here that the 4D I-MAX theater stands, now showing an exclusive montage titled “The Exploits of Baby Kaisdf”. Viewers get the treat of watching black and white footage of kaisdf’s very first Tanki battles all while enjoying the comfort of high end recliners, cheesy popcorn, and a wide array of beverages. It is truly a treat you don’t want to miss.

Tickets for the grand opening on Monday are currently on sale at the bargain price of 200 tankoins. Special opening festivities will be held in the morning, beginning at 8:00 AM.

Due to limited space, the parking cost is 900 tankoins. 

 

Kaisland is also hiring! If you are a teen looking for a comfortable winter job, we at TWNC highly suggest you look into this amazing opportunity. Boosted social security, federal handouts, and free life insurance are included with every registration! Interested? You can contact the human resources department via phone at 69-69-6969 or via email at kaisanarchy@tanki.net. 

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Best Trick Or Treating Spots 

Well, everybody, for most of us, trick or treating has been a huge part of Halloween. And here today, we bring you the top 5 best trick or treating spots in Tanki! Are you ready to count them down with me? Well, let's get going!

 

 Honorable Mention: Yorkshire MM

The perfect map for primary school children and their parents to go out in the afternoon before it gets too dark. Large, expansive space, tons of small buildings for everyone; what else could you ask for? The only thing is after you turn eleven, there isn’t anymore fun to this spot anymore.

Fun Factor: 6

Candy: 10

Halloween Vibe: 6

Overall: 7.75

 

 #5: Rio

Simply the best place to trick or treat and enjoy a parkour night with friends. Comes with up to 100 complimentary ghosts. But beware, this area is highly susceptible to quite a few unwanted dangers, including the occasional tsunami and frequent hurricanes. Ah, not a problem when it’s Halloween, right?

Fun Factor: 9

Candy: 8

Halloween Vibe: 6

Overall: 8

 

 #4: Sandbox

Legend says that the great XP/BP player Semenovich is still haunting this playing field to this very day. After disappearing from the eSports scene, he went back to one of the most famous maps, channeling his extreme focus to lag the game server so even the best of players miss their shots. However, as a trick-or-treating venue, it’s a fun place to hang out and mult around with friends!

Fun Factor: 7

Candy: 9

Halloween Vibe: 7.5

Overall: 8.25

 

 #3: Madness

A fan-favorite for gold-hungry tankers, Madness is the complete power package for a Halloween night out. We’ve got a perfect party place, complete with endless Race for Gold events and even laser tag, so join in on the fun now! But watch your step - you might just take a wrong turn and fall.

Fun Factor: 9

Candy: 9

Halloween Vibe: 5.5

Overall: 8.75

 

 #2: Silence

Home to the first parkour fight between two angry tankers fighting for the last gold many moons ago, Silence is now proud to be known as a 5-star certified trick-or-treating neighborhood with plenty of golds and parkour events to keep guests occupied. And oh, did I mention the secret rooms?

Fun Factor: 10

Candy: 9

Halloween Vibe: 7.5

Overall: 9

 

#1: Stadium

Known as the home to numerous birthday parties, football matches, and rank-up events, Stadium is definitely a strong #1 as well when it’s Halloween night. There’s nothing more fun than a great night out in one of the best communities in Aleksandrovsk County - you’ve got it all here: golds, unlimited amounts of friends, and all the events you could ever ask for from mine art to football. Just watch out… Godmode_ON is known to spawn from time to time, bringing fear, fun, and gold boxes!

Fun Factor: 10

Candy: 9.5

Halloween Vibe: 8.5

Overall: 9.25

 

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~TWNC~

[Person_Random 4,991]

And by the way, we've got a special Halloween Contest; go check it out! The details for the above contest are mentioned in the topic below. Click the pumpkin to join in on the festivities and earn some more crystals!

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With that, we conclude today's broadcast of the Tanki Weather and News Channel. We hope you enjoyed; we'll be coming back with more next time. Thanks for joining us, and enjoy the Halloween celebrations!

                                                                                                                                                                   

 

Previous Issues:

- [Bday] TWNC - Summer 2020 Edition

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~TWNC~

[Person_Random 4,991]

And after a few months of proper rest, the Tanki Weather and News Channel is up and running! We hope you enjoy this broadcast, and while you're at it, don't forget to check the best of the AWS as well as a holiday-themed contest!

Edited October 30, 2020 by Pythor
Pythor was here

[CyborgPenguin 282]

man why do we have to pay to get into kaisland

 

guess I'll have to win another jeopardy to get my ticket