The Renowned Journalists of The Newspaper's Past

[Flexoo 6,980]

Hey all. How’s life treating you?

I pondered a bit on how to effectively spend my priceless time and I came to the conclusion that the quickly approaching end of a year is a great time to rewind and revisit some of the old names of the Newspaper’s past.

These guys helped to write history and I am itching to excavate their skeletons from wobbly drawers and blow away some dust from old memories.

Here’s the list of writers in no particular order that I assembled after hours of searching through the archives.

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sonofchrysalis3

Active: Issue 37 - Issue 50

Sonofchrysalis3, also known as Stratus or shortly soc3 during his time in Tanki, was undoubtedly one of the most intriguing and controversial characters to bless the ranks of the Newspaper Reporters. His early articles posted in the Off-Topic section, such as “How To Write Well, on Tanki and Elsewhere” and “Playing Poorly? Here’s Some Things To Check”, were instant hits largely thanks to Stratus’s bizarre, but nevertheless hilarious, humor and persona he adopted on the forums.

In fact, his writing was so perfectly stylized, it even scored the praise of high caliber reporters like GoldRock or Remaine (I would've given my left kidney and right leg at one point for that!). Hence, it surprised nobody when soc3 joined the Newspaper team some time later. 

 

Spoiler

A scoop of soc3’s unmistakable sarcasm

 

Here, he continued presenting the sheer quality of his writing in different types of articles that ranged from deep, thought-provoking stories, to complementary guides and polemic opinion pieces. He did receive quite a lot of criticism for daring to take a side of development in the latter. Regardless, both his stans and critics would agree he had an immense talent for writing. 

Personal Favorites:

[Issue 38] Gold Please, Admin?

[Issue 44] The Dumbest Anti-Supply Arguments of All-Time

[Issue 46] Momma Waited ‘Til the End

   

Fen-Harel

Active: Issue 25 - Issue 57

 

 

 

Fen is the first reporter on this list who personifies the “Golden Generation” of the Newspaper; a generation of exceptional writers who published in the mid 20s to late 40s issues and are perhaps the best known faces to the hardcore devotees of the Newspaper.

Now, when you track his work to the very beginning, you will see how it gradually evolved to perfection. Fen’s articles are characteristic of great amounts of research and depth that make them an example even for today’s writers. You can also see how greatly Fen mastered the formatting in his articles by focusing attention on the most focal points by simply adjusting the colors, fonts, and boldness of the text. To this day, you can find plenty of valuable information in his publications.

Personal Favorites:

[Issue 37] Top Ten Tanki: ThugLife

[Issue 37] The Secrets of Tanki Unlocked

[Issue 47] Dictator Academy Students (DAS)

[Issue 47] What makes a Good Reporter Application

 

Night-Sisters

Active: Issue 43 - Issue 60 

At one point, #BlameTheNS was as popular and established as the Newspaper itself. If that does not speak for itself, I don’t know what does. The NS is one of few Tanki ladies that joined the ranks of the Newspaper, and I have to say her impact is certainly huge.

It’s hard to find someone as consistent and well-rounded in the art of blending the I3anter and penmanship as the ex-administrator herself. I don't even know how to properly describe the sheer quality of her articles; words would not do them justice. I stand by the opinion that the “Adventures of the Nublet” and “The Pathological …” series are some of the best articles collecting the dust in the archives. 

You can honor the impact of TheNS by equipping her favorite, and painfully modest, Blue color on your tank which the old gang often poke fun at. Magenta also interrogated TheNS after her departure in his interview, so you might want to revisit that one as well if you have been swayed by the content NS wrote.

Personal Favorites:

[Issue 43] The Pathological Drugger

[Issue 48] Female Tankers: Myth vs Reality

[Issue 48] A Guide to Monte Carlo

[Issue 50] Adventures of A Nublet: A Comprehensive Guide to Ping Pong

 

GoldRock

Active: Issue 11 - 15 / Issue 24 - 29 / Issue 36 - 60

Ah, the GoldenBrick. I am repeating myself in saying we have another influential figure here who left and joined the Newspaper more times than the rest of reporters combined. Gold will definitely go down into the history books for accepting “yours truly” into the Newspaper team. Mad props for that.

But, on a more serious note, Gold is essentially one of the best writers in the Newspaper who makes ten thousand words text walls of information look like an easy feat. His content is a golden standard of what an elaborate article and catchy humor should look like. I don’t even know how to pick a favorite article of his, because they are all so memorable and expressive I can easily copy-paste the whole list. 

Let's also not forget his contribution as an innovative admin who modernized many behind-the-scenes processes after the coup finally succeeded in overthrowing the ancient evil admin tyrant duo: Lham and conan. 

Personal Favorites:

[Issue 11] Ten Commandments of Tanki

[Issue 25] The Dictator - Tanki’s Finest News Source

[Issue 52] 10 Reasons Why Tanki is Good for You

[Issue 54] The Mid Ranker’s Handbook: Gameplay

 

Hex (previously "Hexed")

Active: Issue 58 - mid/late 2019?, srsly no idea 

Okay, another person on the list is none other than ex-administrator, DestroyerPdox himself. To this day, I am gutted that Antartica left the burden of training the new multish admin that kais undoubtedly is solely on my shoulders, and then came back to snatch the post of a head administrator without me. Oh, the treachery! 

But to be fair, I have to give him credit for his work in the Newspaper. Hexed actually appeared on the radar as a writer around the same time as I did, and I always saw a competitor in him as both a writer and participant in the Newspaper contests. His articles are neat, stellary presented and informative so admittedly the decision to take him in was a correct one.

It’s also important to note that in 2018/2019, his productivity and consistency carried the group and salvaged the schedules on many occasions, so kudos to him for truly admirable work ethic.

Personal Favorites:

[Issue 65] Top Ten Tanki: Things You Didn’t Know

[Issue 69] Noobs - The 101 Signs

The All-New Rugby Mode

Three Strategic’est Shots in XP/BP

 

NOTE: 

Spoiler

Here's a list of our beloved Head Admin's previous nicknames in case you're wondering why the continent of Antarctica is being unfairly blamed above:

• Antarctica
• DestroyerPdox
• Hexed
• Hex

 

greyat

Active: Issue 37 - Issue 53

Yes, even a stray grey feline was once a member of the Newspaper team. You can see how all-inclusive reporters really are. I think greyat’s contribution is a bit overlooked and he probably isn’t the first name that comes to mind when speaking of the legendary Newspaper writers, but I personally deem his work to be excellent. 

It’s often very concise, minimalistic and straight to the point, but at the same time it still retains quality and originality. I would say his writing is a good example of material that is quick to read and easy to digest.

Personal Favorites:

[Issue 37] How to Avoid Dying  

[Issue 41] Journey of a Tanker

[Issue 45] Building a Powerful Alt - A Practical Guide

 

hogree

Active: Issue 7 - Issue 42

Behold the legend

 

Not mentioning skitee’s lil' brother hog (surprise-surprise) among the best writers of the Newspaper would be honestly a disgrace to the list. Hog was definitely one of the most well-rounded authors, a pioneer, a veteran, and a jack of all trades. You will find everything you ever hoped for in hog’s repertory; stories, interviews, guides and humor, original series he came up with,  continuation of the works his bro started, and perhaps even a thirty thousand word series about the History of Tanki. You know, the usual stuff. 

Heck, we even have to thank hog for giving us the glorious guide to eating chicken, which to this day stays the most liked article ever posted in the Newspaper. Hog is simply a legend and there’s like three dozens of articles from his pen proving my point.

Personal Favorites:

[Issue 18] Mastering your Tanki Keyboard

[Issue 27] The Life of a Reporter - Behind the Scenes

[Issue 28] Miss Isida Interviews: hogree

[Issue 31] The History of our Newspaper

[Issue 34] Generalissimo's Handbook - Month 1

 

Kevred

Active: Issue 28 - Issue 41

Correct me if wrong, but I believe kev actually still holds the record for youngest staff member and he certainly won’t be dethroned since the age requirement has been raised to 15 and up. Despite his age, kev showed a great promise as a writer. His articles are topped with endless amounts of sharp humor and even his stories behind the Tank colors have been praised to heavens by the likes of hog. Age certainly did not stop kev from becoming one of the best authors and disciples of the l3anter academy.

Personal Favorites:

[Issue 29] A Sniper’s Sniping Spots: Silence

[Issue 33] Bad Combos: Myth or Reality

[Issue 35] The Story behind Colors: Tiger

[Issue 41] The Tanki Online Bucket List: 15 Things You’ve Gotta Have Done

 

tweezers

Active: Issue 54 - Issue 78

Before the Newspaper had an excellent story writer in Hippin, there was someone called tweezers. Tweemult joined the Newspaper team around the same time as me (approx. Issue 54), exactly at the point Newspaper was going through some radical changes under the newly-appointed admin, GoldRock.

Some of you will remember how tweezers along with Blackdrakon30 quickly became the prominent figures behind the newly established Amateur Writing Club (AWC) which was a unique new program that promoted the cooperation between “amateur” writers and reporters with the aim of nurturing new talents and giving the writing community a place for realization.

While the fact that the running of the Amateur Writing Section stood oftentimes exclusively on tweezer’s shoulders is commendable in itself, what he will forever be best known for are his touching stories. Not only are they masterfully crafted pieces that will hit you in the feels, they easily go down as some of the best short stories to ever appear under the Newspaper flag.

Favorite Picks:

[Issue 62] Crash

[Issue 71] A Rose in the Darkness

[Issue 74] Stargazer

 

Kirby2008

Active: Issue 25 - Issue 36 

Kirby is someone I was contemplating to add on this list for quite some time, a bit of a wild card actually. Nevertheless, I deem his work is definitely valuable. His comparison series served as go-to articles for people who struggled to choose between turrets of similar parameters.

 

Kirby’s Garage Analysis is one of my favorite of this series

 

Another great aspect of his writing is the attention he paid to popular topics trending in the community at the time, like the review of a new kick system proposal by AbsoluteZero or the effectiveness of voting that was questioned by many tankers.

Kirby’s writing is very professional and revolves around guides and reviews that are stacked with plenty of relevant information.

Personal Favorites:

[Issue 28] Comparison: Railgun or Shaft 

[Issue 29] A  New Kick System: AbsoluteZero

[Issue 30] SwiftSmoky on ‘Parkour Fighting’

[Issue 31] Takeovers

 

skitee

Active: Issue 1 - Issue 10

Unfortunately, I haven’t ever had the pleasure of knowing skitee personally, so the only thing I am able to judge him on are his iconic articles. If you don’t know already, skitee was one of the reporters who has been in the Newspaper from the very beginning, witnessing the days when Tommy60’s jealousy of the Russian Newspaper initiated the idea of creating our own English version.

Not only was skitee one of the founding fathers, his articles shaped the way our Newspaper took. His work was so influential, that many of his articles and ideas have been reused and revived by later reporters for the newer publications. If you’re interested, there is actually a very good article mapping skitee’s career in great scrutiny made by another great author, TrinitroToIuene.

Personal Favorites:

[Issue 7] R. I. P. Maps - Part Two

[Issue 7] Predictions for 2013! - Part One

 

 

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So there you have it, the list of some of the best and most influential writers to carry the Newspaper legacy throughout the years. If you ain’t on it then;

hah, get gud nug

rekt, d3s

...

jk jk, no kill pls, kthnxbai

Seriously though, this list is by no means ultimate, and if I were to mention all the great authors of the Newspaper, it would be even more lengthy and hard to stomach than it already is.

With that being said, I think it’s important to give at least a shout-out to guys like Shedinja, Viking4s, Remaine, Trinitrotoluene, V’tando, TKP, Ilia.Archangel, S.C.Y.T.H.E among the many others who contributed their time and efforts for our entertainment.

Regardless of whether some reporter is or isn’t on this list, know that the archives preserve hundreds upon hundreds of amazing articles and the invaluable work of dozens of writers who helped to upkeep the amazing project known as the Tanki Online Newspaper.

 

[Person_Random 4,991]

We've got another editorial for you! This time, our former Newspaper Admin, Flexoo, has compiled a list of some of the most influential and renowned Reporters of the TO Newspaper's past. Read on as Flexoo provides us a commentary on the Reporters of yore.

[Hex 11,520]

On 12/11/2020 at 3:04 AM, Flexoo said:

Hex (previously "Hexed")

Active: Issue 58 - mid/late 2019?, srsly no idea 

Beyond humbled to be included in this list. I still remember when we were both working for days on end to revitalize the Newspaper. Memories of the good old days. 

[Flexoo 6,980]

2 hours ago, Hex said:

Beyond humbled to be included in this list. I still remember when we were both working for days on end to revitalize the Newspaper. Memories of the good old days. 

Oh most definitely, great times. Your place on that list is well deserved. I don't know where Newspaper would be if you were not in the team at that time :)

[Hex 11,520]

1 minute ago, Flexoo said:

Oh most definitely, great times. Your place on that list is well deserved. I don't know where Newspaper would be if you were not in the team at that time :)

It's onwards and upwards! We have a great team of people looking after the Newspaper now. I always try to catch up on some of the articles whenever I can. 

[LSHTV 229]

Nice job

[alnmr99 0]

ز

[tweezers 5]

Good times with good people.

Thanks for the nostalgia Fluxo <3

_{Always #blametheNS}