Missions overhaul

[Iteroparous 47]

The current system of daily and weekly missions is quite predictable, some are enjoyable and relatively easy to complete but some of them are really difficult or time-consuming. So I thought it might be good to discuss alternative mission ideas, and I have a few to start with:
 

• Die without knowing how 3 times in one battle
  An easy one this, simply play the game as normal in any mode and suddenly explode in a fiery mess without quite knowing what on earth hit you.
   
• Get one-shot-killed three times in one Team Death Match
  Another easy one. Make sure your hull is at full strength and you have a shield boost activated, then wait to be one-shot-killed anyway.
   
• Gold plz Gold plz Gold plz
  You have a nice little collection of Gold Boxes. When someone starts begging for one, wait for them to be as far away from the drop zone as possible before pressing #6, then watch them get stressed trying to get there in time. Bonus points for asking them what difference they think a measly 1000 crystals is going to make to anything.
   
• Sacrificial lamb
  In your desperation to get away from Wasp’s bomb, accidentally end up sitting right on top of it instead and in the moments before your death, wonder if it wouldn’t be a good idea if the devs made it so that you could actually do that deliberately and get massive kudos from your teammates by shielding them from the blast.
   
• Almost catch a gold box in one battle
  This can be tricky, because you really don’t want to risk actually catching it. The best strategy is to be the only one waiting under the falling box, with no other players in sight around you in any direction for as far as the eye can see. Start making plans for what you are going to do with your  whopping 1000 crystals, then suddenly find yourself buried under a mountain of tanks that appeared from absolutely nowhere at the last second.
   
• Implement a “Hoppers first” strategy in all Rugby and CTF battles
  This is probably something we all do anyway, so it’s an easy mission to complete. Any game you play, in any mode, simply make sure you kill all the hoppers immediately, on principle. It doesn’t matter which team they are in. Bonus points could be awarded if they aren’t carrying a flag or a ball (although they usually are of course).
   
• Change modules and turrets once in any battle
  When you enter a battle and realise that the matchmaking algorithms were designed by a team of drunken monkeys and that all other players have fully-upgraded modules against your specific turret, and are using turrets that you have no module to protect yourself against; it’s time to waste precious seconds switching to a far inferior setup in the deluded hope that you won’t still be toast within a few seconds.
   
• Take one of the bottom three places in the losers team in 15 battles
  This should be an easy one, especially in combination with the above. It helps enormously that the matchmaking system often throws you into battles with only two minutes left on the clock and zero chance of influencing anything.
   
• Lose a point when it reaches 97% in Control Points
  We’ve all been there. You’re just about to move away from an almost-captured point B when - with no respect whatsoever for the amount of time and supplies you’ve spent almost capturing it - you are suddenly and violently killed and by the time you’ve respawned the same point is suddenly red.
   
• Enter supply cooldown at the worst possible moment in one Rugby or CTF battle
  Time your speed and/or shield boost so that it runs out and enters cooldown 20 meters from the goal when carrying a flag or a ball, making those last few meters the most frustrating and nerve-wracking ever. Bonus points if the enemy team kill you in this situation, and double bonus points if you actually needed it for the win and there’s only thirty seconds left on the clock.
   
• Deliberately drive into a Shaft’s guidance laser in TDM
  You see it. It’s not like it’s even moving. It’s right there in front of you. Waiting. But they probably aren’t paying attention, right?
   
• Flip upside down in any non-Parkour battle
  There are plenty of ways to accomplish this of course, the real trick is to do it when you don’t want to. Because let’s face it, most of us couldn’t flip our tanks if we tried. So don’t try! Hit a mine. Take a broadside shot to the hull whilst flying over a ridge at speed. Misjudge how far you can edge over the side of a bridge to get that all-important shot. The possibilities are endless.
   
• Wonder whether or not you equipped a drone in one Siege battle
  You are unlikely to ever regret anything more than spending your hard-earned crystals on a drone. It all sounds really good, you save up, buy it, buy a load of over-priced batteries to go with it, spent goodness knows how many more crystals upgrading it, then forget to equip it in battle. Except…you didn’t forget it equip it. It’s right there, hovering above you, making absolutely no noticeable difference whatsoever, as effective as an underwater hairdryer.
   
• What’s yours is mine
  Daydream about what life would be like if mines were in-game currency, making us all suddenly rich beyond our wildest dreams instead of sitting on a stockpile of equipment we are never going to live long enough to use.
   

I'm sure there are plenty more - what easily-completed missions would you like to see in the game?

Edited January 26, 2021 by Iteroparous

[SporkZilla 1,775]

• Camper
  Get the highest K/D on the losing team

[Maf 32,306]

Is.... is this a subtle roast of the game's problems?

In case you're being serious with this topic, such missions are absolutely not going to be added to the weekly or daily missions pool, due to being part unpredictable, and part completely impossible to detect automatically.

However, the ideas are quite creative indeed, and I think some of them would be perfect for the game's achievements, most of which do indeed seem rather stale as of right now. But improvements of the ratings site have been put on hold for a while, and I don't know when the next update will come.
And FYI, if the ratings site is to ever be updated, the next and absolutely crucial thing that must happen to it is full integration into the game, as opposed to being hosted on a separate site.

[Tokamak 1,021]

Maybe this piece of art belongs to the AWS?

[Iteroparous 47]

5 hours ago, Maf said:

Is.... is this a subtle roast of the game's problems?

In case you're being serious with this topic, such missions are absolutely not going to be added to the weekly or daily missions pool, due to being part unpredictable, and part completely impossible to detect automatically.

However, the ideas are quite creative indeed, and I think some of them would be perfect for the game's achievements, most of which do indeed seem rather stale as of right now. But improvements of the ratings site have been put on hold for a while, and I don't know when the next update will come.
And FYI, if the ratings site is to ever be updated, the next and absolutely crucial thing that must happen to it is full integration into the game, as opposed to being hosted on a separate site.

Haha! No, I wasn't being serious at all. It was just meant as a humorous post/roast...I think perhaps my sense of irony needs to be turned down a notch...