results [Results] Give Me A Refund!

[Person_Random 4,991]

You've just bought something stupid with your crystals. Now what?

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Customer service has read all of your emails, and after some careful consideration, we've decided to give the refunds to serveral very deserving winners!
 

In first place, we have @niko_konac, who led the pack with a hilarious thriller to customer support. For this amazing entry, he wins 50 000 crystals and 10 containers. Congrats!

Spoiler

Hello Tanki Online !

I am sending this message today in order to ask for a refund, it’s a long story, but after 2 years of begging and debating with my mom about how tanki online is a safe place to place credit card details on, she finally ended up giving me her credit card, (don’t ask for details because let’s say she didn’t let go of it but only after using force, and by force I mean I stolen the credit card and rushed to the first plane towards Brazil as i judged it was a secure place). So I ended up staying under a bridge with my laptop, soacked in water as it was raining. And I was searching for the Hull Augment category, but ended up on the Paints section of the garage, I was shaking as that day was so cold, and with my sensible touchpad, I scrolled down on the paints section, and I suddenly sneezed, and that resulted in me accidentally buying Prodigy 2.0, I turned red from anger as I couldn't believe what actually happened and didn't know how it actually happened and to top it all off, I got invited to a rank up party, and my friends made fun of me, one of them even posted a picture of me with that paint including me complaining in the in-game chat, to the tanki online discord server, and I got bullied even more, That got me so mad that I snapped the laptop in half. After I took back control of my nerves, I headed to an internet café in order so type out this complaint, so please, All I’m asking for is to give back my hardly earnt 10000 tankoins, I know that my mum is still searching me, and I think she hopped in a plane as I left a copy of my flight details in my mom’s house, so I’m afraid. Also, I need to buy Beating Hearts paint (don’t ask me why it’s a secret). I expect a quick answer as every second counts, else I would get beaten up so hard.

And in a close second, we have @P.4.R.K.O.U.R, who reminds us not to gamble while showcasing some amazing humor! Great work - that has just made you 40 000 crystals and 7 containers richer!

Spoiler

 

It all happened after the recent rank up, which made me a Three square ranker. (I totally know the actual name of this rank, but am writing it like this for, um... your convenience? Idk.) So with my new stash of a whooping 18,569 crystals, I made my way into the garage to buy the Shaft Mk3 I wanted so badly. But lo and behold, what do I see? A lever! And that could only mean one thing... It's 'Spin N Win' slot machine time, baby! (Yeah I'm a big 8 ball pool fan, you know...) The title was "Magnum", so I thought, why not give it a spin and get some magnificent prizes? *A few random clicks later* I'm now a not so proud owner of this 'Magnum Mk3', whose lever I still can't pull down (now I know why mommy says gambling is bad) and with 16,550 hard earned crystals lost. Give me a Refund!

Third goes to a poetic tanker who impressed support staff with his plea in verse! Great work, @Initiate, you've just won 35 000 crystals and 5 containers!

Spoiler

“Woe is me,” I cry, swollen tear-stained eyes gushing fountains - “woe is me!” Why am I woe, you may ask? Well, it’s really very simple. Let me tell y’all a story. Yesterday I went onto my account, Initiate, like I do every year. I noticed I had a new friend request, so I went to my friends tab but realized it was just a useless Private that had accepted the request I had sent in the loneliness of my heart three months ago. Moving on, I navigated to the garage and I found three new hulls that I’d never seen before! Hopper, Ares, and whatever the medium hull is called… anyways, I went back to Ares to inspect the speed and armour stats compared to my beloved Titan. And then I saw it! A specialized message from Tanki, JUST FOR ME! “Bye!” it said in all its glory. I was shocked, astounded, flattered, and amazed that the developers of this game would be so considerate as to leave a parting message for me! I was confused how they knew I had quit last December, but I didn’t care, because such a distinction was truly flabbergasting. “Hm,” thought I, in my quick-witted brain. “Press B for ‘bye’ it says - do I trust this game?” Not in the slightest, but I hadn’t a doubt The devs wanted to make sure I didn’t feel left out! So B I pressed, and Enter I hit Without pausing to see there was a price on it Turns out “B” was for “buy,” not “bye” like I thought And so this Ares is at this time in my garage - caught! Thus I come here today - yes, today! - to petition TO To return my crystal count to what it was before I made it un-grow So give me my crystals, if you would so please Else I’ll rate the TO support with a grade of straight… B’s? Now you may laugh and chuckle at this little kerfuffle But I tell you my feathers are really quite ruffled Because in the excitement of the moment…. I can hardly say this, so I’ll have to just groan it But yes, I say, I said “bye” seven times “Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye!” (and wow, it even rhymes) And so not just a hundred crystals short am I, But a good round two hundred thousand point five! And so once again, I beg on my knees Give me my crystals back, Tanki - PLEASE!

 

Consolation prizes of 15 000 crystals go to @Lose and @Squeak.

*Sorry, the spacing didn't quite work for any of the entries, they all turned into a block of text. Please don't get too mad 

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Thanks for joining in! I really enjoyed reading these entries and getting in a few laughs. Congrats to the winners!

[Person_Random 4,991]

We had some convincing responses from our contestants, but only a handful were able to get a refund. Were you one of the winners? Check it out here!

[Sabry 1,072]

Congratulations HelpPing partner, and other winners :D

[Initiate 1,306]

3 hours ago, Person_Random said:

*Sorry, the spacing didn't quite work for any of the entries, they all turned into a block of text. Please don't get too mad 

Spoiler

ty prrrrrrrrr admin gold plz

Congrats to the winners!

Edited February 12, 2021 by Initiate

[Initiate 1,306]

Actually, I have an issue with this contest. It says that I got a refund, but I only got 35K, while I spent 250K. Doesn't seem like much of a refund to me... perhaps we could revamp this contest so that we receive what we asked for? 

[Sceptical 6]

lol initiate its free crystals and containers take it or leave