Erm...hehe

[chriswu 25]

In case you don't know, a "cynic" is a person who looks at life in a slightly negative, sarcastic way. I feel like I am somewhat of a cynic. Here, I will write short stories of some episodes of my day which I think are ridiculously humorous and pathetic.

 

Some questions you may have:

 

Q. Is this topic pointless?

A. My friend, unless you work for tanki, TANKI IS JUST AS POINTLESS.

 

If you think you have a story you'd like to put, feel free to. I'm planning to compile them all to this post in a list.

 

 

My day today

 

Today, since school just started, we had to have an all school assembly. This meant we all had to gather in our Gym, and listen to a cheesy opening speech by our school director, and stand and sing some painfully long hymns and songs. (I go to a Christian private school). Leading the singing was Mrs. Mutter, our lower and middle school music teacher, and the worship leader. She has some sort of degree in opera singing, and she always tries to seem important, despite her shortness and roundness. Her name is actually pronounced Mee-oo-ter, but we all call her "The Mutter". So, as we opened by singing "Non Nobis Domine", she sang some super ultrasonic high pitched "harmony", and all the freshmen were laughing. Actually, she ended up doing a solo, even though the whole school was supposed to be singing along. This was mainly because of the very poor seating arrangement. You see, the high school sits together on the floor of the gym in chairs, with seniors in front, juniors next, sophomores after juniors, and freshmen in the back. You may ask how this is "poor seating arrangement", and I will explain. The seniors are all taller than the juniors, the juniors are taller than the sophomores, and the sophomores are taller than the freshmen. What happens is that the seniors are the only ones able to see the music, and they certainly didn't want to be the only ones singing among 200 kids or so. So no one ended up singing except for The Mutter. :lol:

In my very honest, humble opinion, she was a FAIL. I think it gave me a little satisfaction to watch her suffer, because, not to make any undue prejudices, but old, round, short ladies who sing opera are always kind of mean.

 

At about noon, it was lunch and free period, so I went with my friends to play out in a field at the back of our school. Since we had to wear long sleeved dress shirts and khaki pants and ties, it was very hot in the approximately 90 degree sun. Anyways, we were having fun so we didn't care too much. I'm one of the only students who doesn't really know how to tie a tie, so I had a clip on. (A clip on tie is a tie that has a clip that you snap on to your collar) My tie was really lousy, so about half way through free period, it fell off my collar onto the field without my noticing. After lunch, we all went inside, and my advisor asked me where my tie was, and told me I would be in trouble if I lost it, because it was dress code. So, I scrambled out to the field where I was playing, and ran all around frantically trying to find it. For some reason, the sun seemed to be a lot hotter right when I went outside. Sweating and hot, I finally found my tie lying on the ground. I put it on, went inside, and barely missed getting into trouble for being late to class.

 

After school I went home, and my mom told me to rest. So, I hopped up on the computer and started playing tanki. :tank: She got kind of mad, and told me to take a shower. So, I headed over to my shower. Just to let you know, I live in a rather nice home...not a big home with 3 floors, but a decent one. My shower seems to be the only room fit for a 3rd world country. Stepping in, the floor tiles had a crack filled with some strange red stuff. I've always thought it was just a stain from some soap, but I've noticed it seems to be growing. :? Turning on the shower, a thin mist floated down from the shower head. Taking a shower in MY shower feels like standing under a houseplant mister. So, I moved over to my MOM's shower. Inside, I was welcomed by a comforting sauna of hot, steaming water. One observation I made was that in MY shower, I use a little bar of old soap. In HER shower, there are at least 5 different canisters of fancy soap. I had some trouble deciding which one to use, but I eventually chose one with an intense picture of a coconut floating in milk. It smelled like pecan pie. Now that I used it, I suppose I smell like pecan pie too. I hope no on tries to eat me.

 

 

Shoes

Last night I barely got any sleep. So this morning, I was such a zombie going to school. My little brother and I have identical shoes, only his are 3 sizes smaller than mine. Why do we have identical shoes? Because my mom thinks it's "cute". :lol:

Today he had a Cross Country race, so he wore his running shoes instead of his regular ones, which were identical to mine. So going to our car in our garage, I accidentally put on HIS shoes. I didn't notice because I just slipped them on like slippers instead of tying them on as I went to the car. Halfway through the car ride to school, I noticed that I couldn't put my feet all the way in them, and that they were my brother's shoes!

This was a big problem, because I think it's a dress code violation not to tie or put on your shoes properly. So all the way through first and a bit of second period, I had to dodge teachers and the principle by trying to keep some other person in between us. Unfortunately, a teacher noticed, and so I had to tell her the whole story. After I told her my scenario, I thought I was in for BIG TROUBLE. But instead she started laughing at me.

Jeez, people are strange. :?

[Tommy60 406]

Funny story, +1.

 

When I attended a private Catholic school, we had a larger selection of uniforms, and ties were not included in the dress code. =)

[chriswu 25]

Lucky Ducky. :wink:

[hogree 4,179]

lol, i am the same sort of person as you sometimes, depends on what mood I'm in :P Love your story... great fun :)

[Rottin 55]

I got a good story my friend, Drew, told me. Now, Drew is my best friend and he kinda is a little insane, just doing things I wouldn't do. So, he and another friend of his were riding around his development on their bikes, when they found a massive hill on a road they had never been on. They were about a 10 minute ride from home, but they just had to go down this massive hill with a light curve, then about straight down to another curve. They rode down on their bikes and had a great time, but they didn't have enough, they just had to go back and get their scooters. This time, they went down and around the first curve, Drew lost his balance, but recovered. He began to shoot down the second part of the hill, but when he got to the curve he ran over a manhole cover. He lost his balance and shot off his scooter rolling down the road. The scooter broke into about 4 pieces and shot over into someones yard. His friend sees this happen and yells, "OMG DREW!" He tries to slow down, but he pulled up on the handlebars to slow down and ripped them right out! He bailed out while what was left of his scooter kept going down! Drew was in a daze, and noticed that the scooter was coming right at him! It ran over him and fell apart, and Drew was out of his daze. At this point he realized that he was in a puddle, he looks down, and it's pretty easy to see what he was laying in, blood. So, they gathered their scooters, and with Drew bleeding his guts out, they had to walk back up the hill and the whole way home, where his mom yelled at him for going down the hill...... Yeah I don't know any details of that part. :P

[r_DaSpamer0 14]

f#ck it.. too long.. i reading slowly..

[chriswu 25]

Rottin, that's a fine story, but I kind of want more funny ones. Daspamer, if you can't read, don't look at the forums. :roll:

[kingeoin14 30]

I am a cynic. Doesn't help my voice is flat and single tone, plus I'm a young (24) banker. What a stereotype. Plus my wife is positive, and I'm negative. But we still gt along!

 

Ice is my element-cold hearted.

[Rottin 55]

Rottin' date=' that's a fine story, but I kind of want more funny ones. Daspamer, if you can't read, don't look at the forums. :roll: [/quote']

 

No problem, just wanted to share it :P I wasn't sure weather to tell that one or one where I wiped out while boogie boarding (I think that is how you spell it) and the board broke in half on my head :lol: :oops:

[r_DaSpamer0 14]

Rottin' date=' that's a fine story, but I kind of want more funny ones. Daspamer, if you can't read, don't look at the forums. :roll: [/quote']

i can read 1-2 lines... but when its too long im getting confused -.-

[chriswu 25]

-.-

[cablaz 32]

Rottin' date=' that's a fine story, but I kind of want more funny ones. Daspamer, if you can't read, don't look at the forums. :roll: [/quote']

i can read 1-2 lines... but when its too long im getting confused -.-

 

he has readaphobia :lol:

[r_mini13020 3]

*sniff* s-s-such *sniff* a s-sad s-story *sniff* :cry: :cry: :cry:

 

 

 

JK :mrgreen:

[r_DaSpamer0 14]

Rottin' date=' that's a fine story, but I kind of want more funny ones. Daspamer, if you can't read, don't look at the forums. :roll: [/quote']

i can read 1-2 lines... but when its too long im getting confused -.-

 

he has readaphobia :lol:

yeah watever it is...

[Ranger7 75]

Rottin' date=' that's a fine story, but I kind of want more funny ones. Daspamer, if you can't read, don't look at the forums. :roll: [/quote']

i can read 1-2 lines... but when its too long im getting confused -.-

 

he has readaphobia :lol:

I only read the end, but boy was it funny! :lol:

[Ranger7 75]

Funny story, +1.

 

When I attended a private Catholic school, we had a larger selection of uniforms, and ties were not included in the dress code. =)

Wow! You attended one of those? Ive heard that there excellent!!! :-)

[r_AdvocatusDiaboli0 861]

Sorry, But I am allergic to walls of text. *-*

[swordfish12 12]

+1

[r_DaSpamer0 14]

im allergic to long long long storys :P

[Rottin 55]

To avoid losing track, I highlight the words as I go, it REALLY helps

[r_AdvocatusDiaboli0 861]

To avoid losing track' date=' I highlight the words as I go, it REALLY helps[/quote']

 

Time management, My brain told me not to read that.

[chriswu 25]

Sorry' date=' But I am allergic to walls of text. *-*[/quote']

 

Please tell me you people are a little more intellectual than that. -.-

[Tommy60 406]

Funny story, +1.

 

When I attended a private Catholic school, we had a larger selection of uniforms, and ties were not included in the dress code. =)

Wow! You attended one of those? Ive heard that there excellent!!! :-)

 

Eh, they're OK. Not excellent by a long shot, but I think I do get a better education than the common 'public-schoolers'. (No offense intended.)

[r_Raven0 0]

I wrote an entrance exam, didn't expect to get in, but then I did, and the school was worse than I thought. So now I'm stuck with a bunch of d-bags and I'm screwed when the tests come and I don't know a thing.

[Flagstealer 2]

Can't you leave?